Here we go. We’ve been forced to endure a hiatus for the past few years after t hat Brynn SA debacle, where Ubah accused Brynn of performing ‘favors’ for guys in exchange for rent money.
Brynn then cried how dare she say something like that when she “knows I was assaulted.”
Then tired to back pedal and admitted WELL MAYBE Ubah didn’t actually know. It was a whole thing. A WHOLLLLLE THIIIIINGGGGG.
I didn’t think it was even coming back at all.
But alas, we ARE back, minus those two nutballs and Jenna, which I’m totally bummed about. I really liked Jenna. I can totally see her getting along well with Carole. They’re closer in age for one thing. Carol has to have a good twenty years on some of these ladies. I am sure that will come up as a ‘thing.
I actually didn’t pick up on the opening Carole scene being a spoof on Carrie on Sex and the City. Is that what it was supposed to be?
We have some replacements since we lost three.
Daisy’s opening scene is hosting Martha Stewart at her popcorn-ceiling small two-bedroom, whom she does makeup for.
This is very very strange and random. I guess Martha isn’t getting much attention anymore. I very much doubt in real life, that she goes to Daisy’s to get her makeup done. Maybe she does.
When she started doing her makeup they became fast friends and traveled together, assuming as her makeup person? Martha kind of treats her like her servant to be honest.
She throws her bag to her the second Daisy answers the door, ordering her to “carry this!” and starts demanding food. She comes off a little Kathy Hilton.
I hate when people call JFK Jr, John-John. Only The media called him that. I saw that in a docu a long time ago before I started rotting my brain with Bravo.
JFK was playing with him in The White House with the media was there doing a piece about the First Family (and what a ‘family man’ JFK was.) He was little JFK Jr.s name said John! John! (not John-John) That’s what they thought his nickname was. They started using it and it stuck.
I remember Carole making fun of Sonja who tried to name-drop him telling a story from when she was married to Morgan and made it seem as if they were great friends
Carole said that’s how you can tell when people didn’t really know him, and here’s Martha using it.
I’m sure she loves telling this story that she had dinner with him right before the crash and she told him he needed a co-pilot. As if he would listen to her. He didn’t listen to anybody.
She needs one more last thing to eat before she goes to her lunch, scolds Daisy for her store bought pie and tells her she hates her kitchen. Does Daisy really think this crannk
I noticed Daisy and Hailey both came out of the gate bitching about their husbands, so you know what that means. Normally they talk them up and do a whole ‘my life is perfect’ thing like Said did, but these girls are already like ‘no he sucks.’
So they came on Housewives to not be a wife. Can’t make this shit up.
******
Oh sigh! It’s Sai!
I guess the unemployed and definitely NOT wealthy and supportive David couldn’t afford the famous brownstone in Brooklyn that Sai bragged incessantly about. I’m assuming they sold it. Or he sold it.
So now they’re in an apartment in Manhattan which doesn’t look exactly shabby. I assumed they were already separated when I saw she’s in an apartment. But supposedly not.
I think Sai thought her sugar daddy/baby daddy was her meal ticket, and he’s not, and now she’s pissed. Kind of like an Erika Girardi saga.
Bravo ordered Sai and Jessel to be friends it appears.
Sai was SO mean to Jessel. I can’t fathom she would really want to be her friend.
Remember how she tried to rebrand in Season 2? Now here she is re-rebranding in Season 3 (of the reboot) and admitting she was a liar and poser about her marriage and life in the last two seasons. MY GOD. She’s such a dick.
Here they are, trying to sell us that they’re besties.
They’re such great buds, that Jessel can’t even buy her a new gift for her housewarming. And a candle is a lame gift anyway. Times are clearly tough for both of them with husbands that are truly Househusbands.
Let’s just rename the show and make it about the guys with these dumb bitches in the background.
She re-gifts a Christmas candle. Wow. Just wow.
She’s also so dumb, she admits to re-gifting. If it wasn’t a re-gift, it was a Christmas clearance item for $5.00, which I wouldn’t admit to that either.
She talks about her new apartment, and tells Jessel she doesn’t care whether or not David likes it and how they’ve ‘drifted apart.’
Then we get to the real nitty-gritty, that he’s not the sugar daddy she thought he was.
Apparently he was more unemployed than ‘retired.’ That sounds like someone I know that use that line and still does. He tries to pretend he doesn’t ‘have’ to work. It’s hilarious. The delusion.
I wondered about the whole retired thing. He’s kind of young to be retired, unless you were in a pension type job.
I was thinking when he sold his bar (where he met Sai when he was married and she was his bartender. She’s been trying to keep that on the down-low) it must’ve been for a lot if he could just ‘retire’ when he has a second family to support.
I’m assuming, now that we know the truth, the money he got from the sale, they were pretty much living off of. The well ran dry, and now she’s pissed.
Sai continues to piss and moan about her husband, admitting to lying that he was this super great supportive guy that was running the household, and do her ‘influencing.’
What a total fucking fraud and impostor. And no girl ya weren’t trying to protect him. You were protecting your image. Just stop with that dumb Erika Girardi shit.
She touches her head as she’s claiming this is why she lied, and you all should know by now what THAT means.
FFS she’s even lying about her lies.
Once you know someone has lied, ya really can’t trust one fucking thing that comes out of their mouth.
She starts to fake cry, and Jessel gets up and gives her the most pathetic hug ever. She doesn’t care. Jessel just wants the tea and wants to make sure Sai’s situation is worse than hers.
Those tears disappeared pretty fucking quickly. This scene is so contrived. Could we TRY to make it seem like she’s genuinely upset?
She mostly seems pissed off that the money’s gone. I hate to keep comparing her to Erika, but it’s a lot of similarities that I see.
Sai shares that she did request an official separation. I’m sure they already were at this point.
Sai EVEN apologizes to Jessel for making fun of her and Pavit’s relationship.
I hope no one is giving her accolades for all of these admissions. She kind of has no choice here.
She clearly needs the Bravo checks, and what better way to keep them coming than to have a messy separation and divorce.
And in order for to use the messy separation/divorce, she has to come clean.
And if she’s coming clean that her marriage was a sham and she embellished their finances and happiness, she has to make amends with Jessel, and also admit she was a raging hypocrite by coming after her like she did about HER marriage being a sham.
I’m not giving her any type of credit, but I do think that this was really hard for her. She’s clearly focusing on those deposits hitting her account. Manhattan rent doesn’t pay itself.
I think it’s rather amusing.
Her apology is funny though. She starts off claiming they were just ‘bumping heads.’
I think it’s butting heads but okay.
It’s almost like she’s trying to blame Jessel for her cunty behavior towards her. She does actually say she’s sorry, but it took her a minute to get there.
Still bumping/butting heads is a weird way to rationalize that you were bullying someone around.
Just say you’re still pissed off about your mom being an alcoholic and not caring for you. I mean really. These actual adults running around taking their childhood frustrations and issues out on other people has GOT to stop. Can we not get an injection for that already?? We have one that makes you not eat?? This shit getting fixed would eliminate A LOT of problems.
Do I see what Sai was talking about with Jessel and Pavit? Yes, they are an odd couple and he seems to want nothing to do with her, and she seems to like bossing him around.
I’m sure I’m wasn’t the only one seeing that. But you don’t SAY that to someone. Especially not in a helpful way, but purely in the interest of being a fucking twat and making someone feel bad.
Oh no, Jessel an Erin are at odds for Erin gossiping about her and calling her untrustworthy on the RHUGT. OH NO.
******
This Hailey is a character, and you can see she needs to be the center of attention always.
I though at first it was Carole rollerblading in traffic smoking a joint dressed like a wizard.
Was she trying to recreate the infamous Kelly Bensimon scene of her running down the middle of the road holding up traffic, and NOT caring at all?? She looks like she’s ready to get her ass run over.
I hope no one would try to imitate that dingdong wack job.
And it just keeps getting weirder after that.
She has this apartment in Hell’s Kitchen, calling it her ‘pied-a-terre’ to get away from her husband, who she is immediately bitching about, that doesn’t do anything as far as household chores and she feels like a servant.
We won’t be seeing this guy Reuben that she bitches about, so don’t get your hopes up.
Apparently he’s some super important guy that spends most of his time in Martha’s Vineyard, wants nothing to do with Housewives, and is okay with her getting it on with women. Okay then. Sounds like she’s getting ready to dump him anyway.
I don’t know what Erin has going on in this yap with her horrible non-cleve on full display, some oversized layered men’s shirt, and an atrocious necklace with a chili pepper hanging from it, looking like it came from a souvenir shop on the boardwalk.
I feel like she saw this look on a model, tried to copy it and failed miserably. She definitely needs a lace cami or something under it. No one wants to see that. I get it babies screwed up her boobs, but there’s doctors for that. And if you don’t want to go that extreme, there is clothing for that.
And her face looks strange. Was there an extreme brow lift that took place??
She reminds me of Ciara on Summer Hose with her BORING yap remarks.
The story of Hailey wanting to meet for coffee at 5pm but she wanted a cocktail, was NOT that interesting, or at all interesting.
They open a bottle of wine, (my favorite white wine by the way – Santa Mahgarita Pinot Grigio, I recognized the label right away – it’s amazing) or attempt to with the worst cork-screw ever. Can this girl not afford to buy a decent corkscrew? The struggle to open that wine was excruciating. Both of them tried and failed, then suddenly it was opened. I think production opened it for them.
$10,000 worth of sunglasses, and one $2.00 nail file corkscrew combo meant to keep in your purse in am emergency.
I don’t think Erin needed her arm twisted to have some wine. Not that I blame her. Especially this wine.
Still trying to open this fucking wine, Erin cries and rambles about her daughter being a pain. Hailey doesn’t have kids I assume, or at least I hope not, and does not give any shits about this.
I honestly can’t see these two being friends at all. Zero in common. Absolutely zero. Other than same age range.
Not that I know anything about anything but I would say her nine-year old daughter’s trying to get her attention because she now has a baby, who is getting the most attention.
And if she’s acting out, and you’re seeing that she’s needing attention, why are we going to Miami on vaca and leaving her with your mom? Maybe it would have been smart to take her along, and give her some one-on-one time and leave the smelly boys with her mom?
I don’t think Hailey’s face and body language could be any more unenthused, and wanting her to shut up.
Hailey opens up abot her mom, and calls her ‘eccentric.’ Okay Hailey I see you didn’t inherit that trait at ALL (insert sarcasm.)
She seemed eager to name-drop Jon Gosselin for SOME reason. If you can even consider that name-dropping.
Apparently she was involved with him when he was newly single, at the suggestion of her mom who knew him. Sure that’s a great idea. A dude with eight kids and an insane psycho control freak ex. And that bitch was/is psycho.
Did anyone really believe Hailey was his mistress or ‘homewrecker? Didn’t anyone WATCH the show?
I don’t know when exactly he could even do that – he was kept on a tight leash by that bitch. Also I though SHE was the one cheating with someone in production? (which blows me away of how anyone in production would seriously want anything to do with her.)
Is Hailey from Jersey? Why does she say ‘dorters?’
This is where we find out she dates women on the side, because “all the women she’s dated with dorters act out.”
Then she goes into some story about getting her nose broken by a woman’s tit that she was having an interaction with. I CAN’T.
I feel like she was brought on simply for the shock factor. At least it succeeded in making Erin laugh, which I think she needed. Wine and a good laugh.
It’s very healing.
******
Oh Pavit. Dear sweet poor Pavit, being married to Jessel.
Remember in Season 1 (of the reboot I guess I don’t need to keep saying that) how horrible she was to him? The poor guy. She insulted him at every turn.
In Season 2, clearly she watched herself and was horrified and definitely backed it down a lot. Still some digs, but didn’t act like a tyrant. From watching herself, she also got a nose job and a tummy tuck.
In her OPENING scene in her first season, she was bitching at Pavit and her mom (who was visiting from Europe to help wit the twins) for finger prints on the table?? I mean really. That’s a great first impression Jessel.
I thought Pavit was a successful exec or something? I forget what company he worked for, but clearly he isn’t doing that anymore.
Season 2 we saw him dabbling in being a food critic/influencer.
Jessel wasn’t happy about it, and now she seems really annoyed that he quit his job to do it and has yet to monetize it. I feel like he could easily do this, already being a public figure of sorts.
So in other words she and Sai are kind of in the same boat. She did elude to that when Sai was crying to her.
Except Jessel isn’t going to let go of Pavit so easily, because she can boss him around.
David does not seem to be the type to be bossed around. I’m curious if we’re going to be seeing him at all. I’m thinking no. He’s probably in hiding since Sai is now depicting him to be a lazy broke bum, not this great supportive rich guy.
Jessel is into Chinese astrology for some reason, and will be a hosting a Chinese New Year event.
It was sad to hear about her and Jessel’s dad both passing away. Apparently they bonded over that, and then ubonded when there was a Housewife job to do.
Part 2 – To be Continued…
