Why is Schwartz going to be attending this sandwich thing?? Are we not so sick of seeing Katie look absolutely miserable, for the past ten years.
The same as she has always looked in his presence, whether they were dating, engaged married, separated… This is some serious extra- dysfunctional co-dependency shit with these two.
So guess I’m kind of, sort of, impressed by the fact that they have creative sandwich ideas. I honestly didn’t really see them discussing sandwiches that much. I must have missed the sandwich making episode.
I don’t get why they need a ‘chef consultant’ Admittedly, I don’t know much about the restaurant biz, other than eating in them. But I mean, it’s sandwiches. They can’t figure this out for themselves? It does seem fitting, given the latest development, that they’re opening a sandwich shop, if ya get my drift.
Ariana in her yap, with some cringy crap about how she’s not really bothered by Sandoval not leaving the party when she told him her grandmother died, but how it LOOKS.
Okay, it LOOKS like he didn’t give two fucks about his girlfriend, and clearly wanted to hang at the party, and couldn’t bring himself to leave, since you-know-who was there.
Okay, so the sandwich tasting group arrives, who look the characters on Scooby-Doo by the way. Guess who Shaggy is? Maybe this is why Ariana isn’t turned on by him anymore. Ya never saw Shaggy with a chick did ya?
Rachel/Raquel opts out of this due to the close quarters of the event, and having to be in the presence of Baloney and BlaBla.
Schwartz and Sandy drone on and on, and on some fucking more, about how they can’t open yet, because of fucking whatever. Because they’re disorganized and stupid. That’s why. No line cooks. To be fair, they only had two years to figure this out. I understand they couldn’t have hired people two years ago, but certainly maybe a few months ago?
That babbling is over, so now Sandoval bores us further, and bitches about Ariana being annoyed by him.
She doesn’t buy paper towels, toilet paper, batteries. So this complaint about her got a lot of ridicule, and he definitely deserves it. It does sounds kind of petty and irrelevant, in the whole grand scheme of things.
But, NOT trying to sound like I’m defending him, I think his point is more that she’s not really going out of her way nor contributing to the relationship and household. Not bothering to make sure their house is a home, when she does seem to have time on her hands. I’m in no way saying she deserved for him to do what he did, and not that shopping is her ‘job’ because she’s a woman, but she does seem to have checked out of the relationship. Just like not being intimate, not doing thoughtful things for each other, is also a good way to show you just don’t care. And honestly, what does she do all day? So while he did not do a good job of expressing himself, I can see where he was coming from, which I really hate,
******
Ariana and Sandoval have a chat about the lack of intimacy and all around togetherness.
This scene seems mostly for Sandoval to make more excuses for not coming home, or ‘being there’ for Ariana after her grandmother died, and he starts to roll out his official complaints and grievances with her.
She does seem to have an excuse and answer for everything, and not really hearing him. And I’m not defending him! Just trying to see both sides.
He complains, “it seems like my very presence annoys you.” She fires back – those are words she doesn’t say, which doesn’t really make sense, because he’s trying to tell her, he feels that way, not that she actually said these words to him. You can tell when you’re annoying someone. And he is kind of annoying, so, do the math. She probably is annoyed by his very presence. Yet she still seemed to want him around.
So long story short, she mostly brushes him off.
He bitches about not having sex. She points out that may be because he doesn’t spend time with her. She wants to do ‘quality time’ simple every day things like taking walks and making dinner together.
His choice activities include “taking mushrooms and watching the sunset” when asked by a producer.
Whatever. Doesn’t really seem to have resolved anything. Even if we didn’t know what we know.
******
Schwartz feels the need to attend this sandwich shop event, of course. We need the constant drama. Bravo didn’t realize, that by this point the viewers are so over these two ding-dongs arguing about nothing.
Katie is still Katie, and rage texting Schwartz constantly, She’s still belly-aching about his ‘making out’ with Raquel, if you can believe it. Now they’re on the cycle of being pretend cordial to each other. I guess.
Baloney is wearing a robe the same color as her pale skin tone and looks rather drab, which goes with her personality. Ariana looks adorable. I LOVE that top!
The second Schwartz arrives, immediately Baloney makes her constipated faces.
She grimaces and groans in her yap that she doesn’t need his approval, nor needs him to be proud of her and… Oh My God – just shut up !!!!
Sandoval plants kisses on Ariana’s lips that she doesn’t seem that excited about, and even crinkling her nose. I really think he was still attracted to her, but her not so much to him. Viewers on the chat groups were not seeing her disgust about his kiss on her mouth, but how can you not? I think, sometimes people see what they want to see. And I love Ariana, so I’m not trying to pick on her. I just see what I see.
******
This scene didn’t age well. Ariana and Raquel chat about Schwartz, then Raquel brings up Ariana’s and Sandoval’s ‘growing apart’ issues.
Raquel dives in for some real deets, and seems to be chomping at the bit to hear that they don’t have sex. I think she wants to make sure Sandoval is being honest that they aren’t intimate. I mean, she DOES have standards!!
This IS the card that dudes usually play when they are looking to cheat. That they’re not getting any sex or attention at home. It gives them the ‘pity’ advantage that they want. Like “awwwww your wife/girlfriend won’t fuck you, that’s so sad, I think you’re so hot, I will fuck you. ” Sometimes guys do literally lie about it, telling these side chicks they’re not intimate with their wife, when they are. That was the situation in my case, with my ex.
Raquel: (with a sly look on her face) “Do you feel like you’re sexually attracted to him??”
Ariana says that she thinks “he’s so hot” and then goes on to complain that she is having body image issues, and that could be part of the problem.
That was hard to watch.
******
Raquel moved on to harassing Baloney, and plops down beside her, and brings up the make-out sesh between her and Schwartz, rumored to have taken place the previous night. ( I assume it was her and Sandoval actually?)
To hear Baloney talk, you really would think they are still together and working on their marriage. Raquel tells her even if they had hooked up, made out, whatever, it’s none of her business. Raquel lets her know that the rage texts are getting kind of old and tired and ridiculous. She’s right. But, you can’t tell Baloney anything.
“How the fuck were you raised?? Where were you raised? They all start chanting at her. No one can come up with anything else I guess. I feel like I’m watching Jersey Housewives. (as if BlaBla has any authority to question how someone “was raised.” Or Baloney for that matter.)
“You’re a little fucking cunt.”
Katie freaks out at someone sitting there calmly, telling her she’s a fucking idiot. We can hate on Raquel all we want, but everything she’s saying is 100% accuurate. If it wasn’t, would Baloney be so irate?? No.
Sandoval: “you were hooking up while you were still living with Schwartz.”
Again, it is a valid point. But it’s okay that Katie was doing it. She seems kind of speechless both times that he says this.
Now I don’t know exactly what happens here, but Ariana abruptly breaks out into this really fake exaggerated crying and whimpering on LVP.
She sounds kind of like Dorothy in Wizard of Oz, honestly. “I just want to go home.”
LVP should have said – “you’ve always had the power to go home, my dear.” What’s even funnier about this scene, which I didn’t realize until looked at my pics, is that Lisa is so not warm, fuzzy, and touchy feely, and is NOT into comforting Ariana. At all.
Sandoval tells Baloney, “start taking accountability for things you do wrong!”
And don’t hate me, but he is kind of right! Raquel snickers when Katie barks at Schwartz, I’m done with you!! Which is funny because you know, she asked for a divorce a year ago, so that ususally indicates you’re ‘done’ with someone. We were all snickering. What’s concerning is that Schwartz actually gives a shit.
Baloney drags Schwartz outside by his collar, and continues to badger and abuse the poor guy, about the same fucking shit. The same fucking shit. I am so ready for this shit to be over. So ready.
Ariana continues to fake cry to LVP. LVP continues to look uncomfortable AF.
Raquel confronts Katie outside with Schwartz, and apologizes. Katie just makes no sense. Katie just cannot have Schwartz be happy, she CANNOT have it.
She now bitches at Schwartz, just to hear herself bitch – why does this dude subject himself to this? She reminds me of the future Lisa Rinna, except possibly even more bitter,
Ariana goes in and out of whining, then crying, then sounding fine. I don’t know what the fuck that was even all about. But it was strange. Ariana, don’t go into acting. Stick with pretending to be interested in making sandwiches.
LVP blows out birthday candles and attempts to make some sort of poignant speech to the group that they’ll one day figure it out, and she loves them and this that, and the other thing. Getting Glinda from Wizard of Oz vibes now. Is it just me?
******5/17/23 – FINALE ******
Here we go, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the cameras start re-rolling in March, when the salacious story first broke.
So, it all got started when Sandoval’s phone gets in Ariana’s hands, and she sees a video chat between him and Raquel.
The old cell phone giveaway. I love how Sandoval, in his yap, is like “normally I would delete something like that, but I was too busy.” So couple problems with this – NORMALLY he would have deleted that? As if it’s ‘normal’ that he has incriminating info on his phone. And he’s not regretful of fucking around on her, he’s regretful he didn’t delete the evidence. Sandoval is such a schmuck.
Wonder what the stats are of cheating being discovered via cell phones. I’m sure high. Kind of makes you wonder, in pre-cell phone era, if people that cheated, just kept cheating throughout the entire marriage, until they finally tired out, or died, without their spouse ever knowing.
Scheana recounts how Raquel just ‘non-chalantly’ tells told her about it when they were in New York for WWHL. “Oh yeah, we’ve been having an affair for eight months, and Ariana just found out.” I can so see Raquel saying that, based on how she’s been acting, as if everything is no big deal.
He claims he didn’t want to hurt her. It happened, and then it didn’t happen for a while (as if this is any consolation to her.)
Ariana mocks him, how he probably got all giddy over Raquel giving him attention.
She makes all very valid points. He uses the excuses that he was seeking what he wasn’t getting at home. He tries to justify that he was feeling that ‘thing’ with Raquel, how when you’re in a brand new relationship.
This is like deja vu, from when he started banging Ariana when he was with Kristen.
Anyway, they continue to go back and forth, and the rhetoric is what you would expect.
“I regret ever loving you. Any last words before we never speak again.” he tells her how special Raquel has become to him, and she doesn’t want to hear this shit. What is wrong with this dude? He’s so fucking retarded.
Sandoval cries – oh stop !! He’s not upset. This is what he wanted.
Now S&S is suffering, and Schwartz is blubbering. Tired of looking at these dudes crying.
He recounts to Schwartz how it all went down, as if he doesn’t already know everything. He claims that they have this “really deep connection.” Oh Please.
And of course Schwartz knew, of course he did. Even if we didn’t know, we would know that he knew. Another ridiculous sounding comment: “All she had to do is follow me.” So he wanted her to find out.
I’m even kind of sensing a little relief with Ariana.
Now James takes this all on. We were all dying to know his thoughts, right?
Explain to me how he feels ‘betrayed? Someone needs reminded that they broke up. And I couldn’t wait for BlaBla’s take. I couldn’t even tell you what the hell she said.
James calls Raquel and beats her up a little bit, then calls her stupid.
They film Raquel and Sandoval together, at her apartment, in the dark, catching up with each other on the goings on. It’s really hard to take them seriously.
They have a little cheers moment. It’s so cringy. Then they tell each other hey love each other, but it’s pretty easy to see that neither one of them means it. Rumor has it, they broke up on Finale Day.
She wants a fucking pity party over this teeny scratch near her eye from Scheana, when she shoved her, and I guess put her hands in her face and scratched her with her six inch fake nails. She claims she was ‘punched.’ Yeah you don’t get scratches from being punched sweetheart.
******
LVP is all about this drama. Ariana visits, and maybe that bogus crying event at the sandwich thing with her was practice for this.
Looks like Schwartz and Baloney are chummy again. for two seconds.
“How long have you known?” Seems to be the phrase of the hour, but does it really matter? Of course he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. Schwartz tries to lie, that he only recently found out, however he’s bad at it.
How long have you known? Seems to be the phrase of the hour, but does it really matter? Of course he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. Schwartz tries to lie, that he only recently found out, however he’s bad at it.
So what would this fun all be, without an appearance by Kristen Doute.
Part of Kristen (a really large part, no pun intended) is really enjoying this, but trying so hard to act empathetic. You don’t know how badly she wants to yell, “I told you so!” And you can’t tell me any different.
It’s Sandy’s turn now to drop by Villa Rose, and pretends to hyperventilate. She says in her yap, and she has pointed this before, that they’ve all been guilty of sketchy shady shit, so why single this out? Yes this occurrence, it’s a little extra, but she is kind of right. There’s been so much lying, cheating, and intermingling, between all of them, that this just seems like another day at the ranch. Kristen has been with Jax, Sandoval, and James. She cheated on Sandoval with Jax. Lala has hooked up with James while he was with Raquel, Sandoval cheated on Kristen with Ariana. Jax cheated on Stassi, and Brittany. The list goes on and on.
So it gets pretty repetitive at this point. Baloney discloses that she talked to Schwartz, and he admitted, to kind of, sort of knowing. She has him coming to apologize to Ariana.
He starts off acting like he’s not on Sandoval’s side, but we know he is. He’s pissed he’s being painted as a ‘co-conspirator.’ But if he knew about it from almost the very start, he is. Not to mention he was pretending to be interested in Raquel as a diversion.
He could have refused to go along with it. All he had to do was ‘slip’ to Katie, and this would have all been over in August or September.
Sandy’s next stop in his ‘making excuses’ tour, is to Scheana. He spews out the same old song and dance, that he was wanting to break up with Ariana, and didn’t, tried, but couldn’t. So the logical next step, of course, was to keep lying to her, and banging Raquel. He claims she threatened to kill himself.
And we all know he did hook up with that Miami chick years ago. He also admits to cheating on her “one other time.”
And we wrap up with that. I guess next season we’ll get treated with these two at each other’s throats, as they hang out in the same ‘friend group.’
