I had no idea Abe was Cuban (aka Jewban.) Did you?
Jessel and Pavit have this gay chat.
She first tries to make him feel like shit for not being a gazillionaire like Erika’s husband.
He doesn’t care. He gives no fucks whatsoever what she thinks of him, or any expectations she may have.
This conversation was odd in so many ways. We are assuming Pavit had a heads up he was going to be told that there’s chatter that he’s gay. Much of it seemingly coming from the gay community, which to me makes a difference. I just don’t think gay guys run around saying a straight guy is gay for something to do.

He does a so-so job of appearing confused. He makes jokes of course, claiming his gay friends don’t think he’s gay.

My thing is, he didn’t seem upset about it. Like straight guys I know that get called gay, would be not taking it so well.
I see they were trying to do the famous Seinfeld lines ‘NOT that there’s anything wrong with that…’ Have these two ever watched two seconds of Seinfeld? I kind of doubt it. This was probably production orders.

Not sure if they thought it would be funny, or they wanted to make sure the audience wasn’t going to be getting all offended of Pavit’s denial of being gay.
I thought it was funny, and no, I don’t think it was ‘editing’ when Jessel trying keep up with the Seinfeld Dialogue, pretty much tells him it’s fine if he’s gay.


No Jessel it’s NOT fine if he’s gay when he’s married to YOU.
This is what happens when you’re desperate to get married and have kids, and you marry anyone. Even someone you had to beg to marry you and suspect isn’t that into you. Or women altogether.
Jessel’s 100% blaming Erin for this ‘rumor’ which is not cool, and she clearly just wants someone to blame because she’s mad at her situation.
******
Daisy drops in on Sai’s bougie Manhattan (with amenities) apartment, and you can already smell a petty argument happening, and it smells just like grocery store sushi.
Sai sys the ‘F’ word sooooo much. Does she have to say “did I fucking tell you what happened?” She uses it in normal conversation, not even when she’s worked up or trying to make a point like normal fucking people.
She’s mad she got served with divorce papers from a guy in a hoodie. That’s pretty funny actually.
And what IS with this yap look? She looks like she’s trying to be a cartoon superhero. Either that or there’s a piece of a bumper glued to her dress. It kind of looks like it’s floating in the air.

So have we come to the conclusion here that it was Erin’s poor makeup guy that was the ‘middle man’ in talking about Sai and David being separated?
Wasn’t it Sai’s makeup artist involved in the Pavit being gay ‘rumor?’
Give these guys an apple!!
I hate to be repetitive but ya know, but I’m forced to be when it’s the same shit week after week, but it’s not even juicy gossip when a Housewife is having marital problems! At All!!
I’ve never even seen Erin drunk on the show, and they’re always drinking at every get-together, even champagne in the middle of the afternoon at their houses, so not sure about Sai’s conclusion that Erin gets drunk and starts divulging secrets that no one cares about.
We know Hailey is weird. I don’t know why they’re so worried about what her ‘job’ is.
Isn’t she married to some rich guy in Massachusetts? That’s her job. After all she is a Housewife. Totally seems like it’s a financial type of agreement, not really a marriage. Like someone else I know.
So we’ve covered Erin and Hailey’s issues, now we move on to Erika and the trip to that horrible dump of a tropical island that poor Daisy had to endure. She really is a hater. Now she’s bitching about the sushi having fish because she’s decided she’s a vegetarian again. Sai basically screams at her to eat it.

These two are a PAIR. A pair of what, I do not even know. They’re both so miserable and hostile.
And why are we drinking Coke and champagne simultaneously?? That’s ridiculous. Is this more brand placement?
I’ll have you know I got really hungry for sushi after this aired and got some, YES, grocery store sushi at Whole Foods, and it had zero taste. Should’ve gone to Wegman’s or a sushi place.
******
Erin and Tom Hanks meet with the architect about their Hamptons house. You know I really don’t get why their Homeowner’s policy wouldn’t cover this, unless it was their own negligence, such as having the heat off during the winter, which was kind of dumb of them. A typical insurane policy would cover the damage from a pipe bursting.
He estimates damage as being in the millions, and they’re going to “take out a loan.” Okay good luck with that. Erin better ask Andy for a raise.
Abe doesn’t look well, at all. Is it the weight loss? Stress? Both? He looks homeless. I think a fourth kid is the last thing they needed. I think Erin just wanted to give birth during filming, but then the show got put on pause, so that plan went south. BlaBla on VPR, same thing happenbed to her. Which I think is kind of funny. The lengths these bitches will go to, to have the spotlight.

They chat about Pavit’s possible gayness and acknowledge it’s been a rumor for a long time and no one ever wanted to say it out loud. Until Sai became ‘friends’ with Jessel of course.
******
Daisy drops in on Carole. Uh-oh poor Carole, is the first thing I thought, but alas, Daisy approves and doesn’t hate on it due to insecurity and jealousy.
Did she seriously ask her where her couches are from?? Who does that? I stopped asking people where they got something in high school. It’s so juvenile and tacky.

They’re custom Daisy, of course. Carole immediately reminisces about moving in with Anthony (in 1994) and references the famous tiger couch that she had to give up because it was falling apart.
Daisy wants to bitch more about the 17 hour trip that she hasn’t yet recovered from, because she hasn’t quite complained about it enough. Carole chimes in about the horrible inconvenience with the connecting flight in Florida. These poor bitches. Don’t you feel bad or them?

Carole tries to explain to her that while THEY fly private when they go, Erika should’t have been expected to fly all of them there on a PJ. Daisy’s like there was ONLY SEVEN OF US!!! Okay and what is that per head Daisy? Do you even know??
Carole’s like ‘uhhh okay…’ You can tell she doesn’t agree. I would say that qualifies as ‘a lot’ to pay for out of your own pocket. Bravo didn’t even wanna pay that, so she thinks Erika should have?

Daisy wanted to know why Carole doesn’t have cocktail parties in her hip fab townhouse?? Girl you didn’t even get offered a glass of water do you think she like to entertain?
Carole complains to her about Sai being, well Sai.
Those two remind me of Tamra and Vicki on OC, arguing over who the bigger See You Next Tuesday is.
Daisy bitches about the grocery store sushi, then defends Sai by saying she has layers like an onion. You have to peel back the extreme cuntiness to find the semi-nice person in there somewhere.

Carole has no time for her immaturity and silliness. She’s busy trying to clear her name out of the ‘Epstein files.’
******
Carole drops in on Hailey, who is sick on bed, which seems like an odd pairing, but honestly everyone is an odd pairing with Carole. Is it the age thing? I guess, and I don’t mean that in a bitchy way. She comes off like their house mother or something.
I’m not a germaphobe but I don’t think I would hop on the bed with a sick person, so I would say she’s not really sick. Maybe she just didn’t want to attend Erin’s party, since she now hates Erin. For no apparent reason. Also she doesn’t appear sick. Perfect hair, perfect makeup. I mean really. Dumb.
They discuss her getting grilled about her job and finances on the horrible island. Carole refuses to her marriage as ‘unconventional.’ Which it is. Hailey wants to argue that, but not only do they live separately, but she dates and hooks up with random women. I would say even in this day and age, that’s about as ‘unconventional’ as you can get.

And I would venture to guess that Rubin isn’t sitting in his house every night netflixing on Martha’s Vineyard. The question is: is he seeing men or women??
It sounds like she’s gearing up to divorce him. I do agree with her that men bring nothing to the table (except for a bunch of crying, bitching, whining, idiotic temper tantrums and mommy issues. Need I go on?)
The whole ‘men die first’ thing, she’s chalking it up to the universe knows women are sick of ‘em and need a fucking break. Like just die already lol. That’s so mean, but true.
******
Time for the famous Cuban-themed party thrown by Erin in her Barney house. That was kind of funny and I agree with Jessel on that.
So they rented this massive purple and orange townhouse “to be on different floors from the children.”
I can’t fathom what this Upper West side house costs per month to rent.
Will I get annihilated if I mention it seems like she’s dressing the youngest like a girl? The pony tail kind of throws you off, and then the clothes don’t seem particularly ‘boyish.’
So it appears that the kids are leaving the house with two sitters on ‘nannies’ or whatever, so you would expect that we won’t be seeing them while the party is going on, but you would be wrong.
You also would have thought Abe would be changing out of a grubby gray T-shirt for the party, but you would also be wrong.
I don’t know what Erin’s got going on, but she at least put some effort into it.
I don’t get this house at all. It seems like the bedrooms are on the first floor and the main living area is upstairs?
Daisy walks in bitching about having to navigate stairs.
Erika looks way too hot for this event. I will be addressing some other outfits too as you might expect. Especially one in particular.
Erika thanks Daisy for the ‘apology plant’ that Daisy quickly corrects, had NO apology attached with it.
Again she fucking pisses and moans like the dumb bitch that she is, about not flying ‘private’ to the private island.

Erika has no time for this stupid little makeup girl peasant.

As far as Daisy claiming she would have been open to ‘chipping in’ I saw a funny TikTok on this interaction that said “what was she planning on chipping in? Chips?”
Can you even imagine the debacle that would’ve turned into? I can tell right now Daisy would have ordered that SHE pay less than the others because she’s not as ‘fortunate.’
And all of these outrageous expectations coming from someone that the furthest she’d been in the world is fucking Florida, prior to meeting Martha. THAT’S an embarrassing admission given all of these demands to be treated like a queen.
Carole arrives and already I’m not a fan of the Humphrey Bogart thing that she’s got going on.
Daisy looks her up and down like she’s an alien.
Sai arrives also bitching about walking up steps with a bum knee. And what the fuck is SHE wearing?
Why would you wear a massive heavy leather jacket as your top, so you can’t even remove it, to a house party where any idiot would know it’s probably going to be hot AF with a bunch of people in a tight space??
And leather? Just why? Not to mention it’s ugly, and like six sizes too big. She’s not the fashionista she thinks that she is. It’s SPRINGTIME. Not fucking January. I wouldn’t even wear that in January. Also it’s a Cuban theme, so again why a COAT as your top?
Erika got the memo. Sai looks a mess.
She later bitches that she’s hot. Yeah no fucking shit.
So is it, or is it not another The RealReal plug that Carole HAPPENED to have been the one that intercepted the leather coat that Daisy tried on in that scene where she kept ripping her clothes off in public? In a city of a million people, CAROLE made the online order right before Daisy walked up to the register? No. I cannot buy it. No pun intended. That’s not real real. No pun intended.

Daisy is SO mad, or pretends to be SO mad. It’s a long coat and Daisy is petite, but for some reason I preferred it on Daisy.

Eugene flirts with Erika pretending to be fixing her hair. I think it would very weird having a hairdresser husband. I’ll be the one to say it: How many straight guys are hairdressers? Like two on the entire planet? Eugene and Shawn on SLC. Wait, nevermind about Shawn.
Daisy mentioned earlier he comes home from ‘work’ at 10pm and immediately hits the shower? Okay.
We’re getting introduced to Devyn, who knows Erin, whose coming in as a ‘friend’ and to audition for an apple I assume.
Sai already has a problem with her, even though it’s a fellow ‘sis’ as she says.
I guess she’s feeling threatened because Devyn is ten times prettier, and probably not an evil miserable elf.
Sai and Daisy bicker about the grocery store sushi. Then about who uses the better fish market. I can’t with these two. They act like twelve-year olds.
Eugene exits when popcorn starts ‘popping up.’ He seems annoyed.
So the kids are back. I guess the sitters just took them out to dinner. Also it’s a week night, which is adding to the kid chaos.
I know it’s his birthday and all but he’s chugging tequila or this mezcal crap that they ‘discovered’ while in Mexico, straight from the bottle. Why waste time with ice, and a glass?

This man looks unhappy and stressed beyond belief.
Carole and Devyn commiserate about how much they can’t stand Sai. No Carole, you’re not crazy. She sucks.

The kids continue to run amok and don’t listen to Erin telling them to go to bed, AT ALL.
Jessel arrives only two hours late, without Pavit. Apparently he’s worried about facing everyone given the gay thing.
Erin and Tom Hanks begin to bicker about who should put them to bed. There’s. hired help, so I didn’t get that. Tom Hanks was doing the Stassi “it’s my BIRTHDAY!!” thing.

I can’t deal with one more second of this sushi bullshit. MY GOD.
I’m confused about all the stairs in this house and what all in on what floors. Everyone keeps going up and down stairs.
Sai confronts new girl Devyn about why would she think she doesn’t like her. Because you know Sai likes everyone!
She apologizes. Since ‘she’s pretty.’ They make up. In her yaps she confirms that hate her Instagram, so whatever. Who walks around saying that?

Let’s look at yours, where you’re pretending to be a super model (all four feet of you) and a fashion icon.
If I were Devyn I would have said something about that ridiculous coat she’s wearing INDOORS.
For whatever reason Sai starts screaming Carole’s name multiple times after she bitches she’s hot. Daisy tells her that’s rude. Normal people say ‘excuse me.’
Carole is like ‘what the fuck is even happening here? I have no idea.’
Sai is on the rampage now over being corrected. She needs to go. Take that ‘ugly leather coat’ (if you know, you know) and go the hell home Sai. Jesus. So much for her ‘rebarnding’ last season.

Jessel inserts herself between Daisy and Sai STILL arguing over who’s the bigger twat, and tries to mediate, sort of. She’s pretty bad at it.

Sai hobbles down the steps.

Don’t let the door hit ya in the knee!



