I’m confused by Erika’s tag line.
“The best part about losing everything, is getting it all back.” I know they don’t come up with them. I used to think they did, but she did agree to repeat it. ‘Getting it all back?’ I hope this wasn’t in reference to her Vegas gig.
Because, you know, she’s doing these shows for a buck per ticket.
And she still lives in a pool house. So unless she finds some other rich poor old sap to bleed him completely fucking dry, she ain’t gettin’ ‘it’ back. Who comes up with these?? Some 23 year old intern??
And then Kyle’s is poking fun at ‘the rumors in hers, ’ When the ‘rumors’ are fucking true?
She and Mario were discussing splitting up during the filming timeline, and she is fucking a 28 year old country singer, that she’s parading around LA like one of her new fucking dogs. It’s sad. I know Morgan is an adult, legal, but it’s borderline predatory how she sought her out to you-know due to some sort of post- mid-life crisis.
It’s sick. I say ‘post’ mid-life’ because most people don’t live to be 110. She’s 10 – 15 years past mid-life. So whatever this is.
She’s just Kyle and extremely immature, so naturally she would go after a woman the same age range as her daughter to begin her lesbian era.
“Every time Annmarie’s been around it’s been chaos.” Kyle, it’s Housewives, it’s always chaos.
Especially when a new one is in town, because she’s desperate to ‘stick’ so she usually acts like a jack ass, as Annmarie is doing. If she’s not going after one of the veterans, one of the veterans is going after her. It’s how this works.
But whatever, Kyle thought that sounded good as a reason to have an outing to celebrate her birthday. Just say we’re going to X to celebrate Annmarie’s birthday. We know there’s going to be chaos. Usually started by Kyle, who cried last week about how she hates chaos. But only if the chaos isn’t directed at her.
They all convene at Kyle’s to make their way to Ojai. I never heard of this LA area, so I did a quick look-up. It sounds like such a quaint, cool little area in Ventura county. And here is a little blurb that I found extremely interesting, I never really heard of an area doing this before, and I love it. I. LOVE. It.
‘Chain stores are prohibited by city ordinance to encourage local small business development and retain the town’s character.’
If you want to read more, here is a link. It’s very artsistic, and there are a lot of outdoorsy type activities. I wanna go!!
I’m going!
Like what a novel idea. Nothing like a big ol’ fucking Walmart to screw up the scenery, flanked by a McDonald’s and KFC.
I’m betting everyone there is really healthy and in shape. And the shopping is probably amazing. I love little cute stores. What kind of idiot likes Hobby Lobby?? The same basic bitch idiots that drink White Claw.
How is it these ladies are always getting covid? I’m sure they were all forced into the ‘vaccine?’ Multiple times. Multiple boosters. So Puzzling. I got vaccinated for polio and mumps when I was a baby, and I’ve shockingly never had either. Never had a ‘booster.’ Hmmmmmm?? Wonder why that is????
And guess who has it? The Housewife that absolutely no one will miss. And the day will be so much better with her sitting her dumb ass in her ugly pool house eating Taco Bell. With a pool she doesn’t use because she can’t afford to heat it.
Annmarie is excited to ‘get to know everyone’ she claims, and talks regrettably about her strife with Sutton, who she cornered earlier, and bitched at her for lying about her throat issue, or whatever. I’m confused by it too, but you know what? I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. Who out there gives a shit??
So to be a new shining Housewife star, she picks on Sutton. So predictable. Not Erika though. You don’t wanna go after Erika who has made the most vile and horrific comments in the past two seasons, about Tom’s trusting clients, that hired him, that they both stole from. ‘They’ because she spent the stolen funds. And gives zero fucks about it. And funny how she’s Kyle’s supposed friend, and she goes after Sutton. Sutton really thinks that Kyle is her friend? She thinks that?
No balls to go after Erika though I see. Let’s go after the more fragile one over something dumb as fuck. And if she does have an eating disorder, why are we ridiculing and outing someone for that?? It’s a legit disorder. This has cunty Kyle Richards written all over it.
Moving on, Sutton does have a second date with the cutie from last week, however she should have just kept it to herself until said second date actually takes place.
Is this gallon size sippy cup seriously full of her vodka and grapefruit juice? I think it is. Wow. Impressive. I’d be on the floor after drinking that. But you go girl.
Dorit speaking Italian or Spanish when it is NOT necessary, and she honestly has zilch of an idea how foolish it makes her look.
Does she watch the shows back, and see the ladies snickering and making fun of her every season when she does this shit.
Like woman, I’m pretty sure this woman speaks English.
Am I on glue, or are you not supposed to use various languages when you are around someone who can’t speak English? Otherwise it comes off as… desperate. And weird.
The woman is looking at her like she’s a bonehead.
After shopping, they head to a winery. Already two of my favorite things, shopping and wine.
Kyle claims in her yap that she’s thinking of leaving LA to be more in touch with nature. Not sure if she’s thinking about this area an hour an a half away, or like Montana?
I saw a video or read online about another viewer who feels the same as me about this –
What’s with all of the fucking stupid ‘games??’ We can’t just sit and talk like normal fucking people. Bravo is so desperate to have them trying to kill each other, that they play these games with sketchy set-up questions hoping to get someone activated?
Okay so after that rant, this particular game is NOT sketchy questions (yet.)
Sutton is very happy to lick Kyle’s foot, as the card orders. It just figures she would want to lick her toe.
I don’t know why Sutton is so desperate to be her friend. Kyle is a terrible human.
Okay, I knew it, now the sketchy questions. And such a coincidence. A random ‘game’ question that applies to one of the ladies and an issue they’re currently having.
I actually thought it was going to be all silly little ‘fun and games.’
“What do you think of your husband communicating with ladies on social media??”
That’s kind of – specific.
And so weird, how that’s one of the issues Kyle and Mario are happen to be having.
Kyle blurts out suddenly “would you ever date a woman?” They didn’t even try to pass it off as a game question. She keeps dangling this fucking carrot that is Morgan Wade. She and Dorit demonstrate ‘scissoring,’
Now Sutton puts her tongue in Dorit’s mouth. Guess I don’t have to wonder now how they all get covid. Sutton is sure anxious to put that tongue to use. Maybe she’s the one that should date women.
She’s a little over optimistic in her yap about how they all have such a great rapport, and what besties they all are.
I think the only genuine friendship out of the whole group is Sutton and Garcelle. Kyle is a genuine friend with no one.
She is hosting a Celebration of Life event for her best friend that passed away. I hope that was at least a real friendship.
******
Dorit and PK have a therapist dropping in to discuss Dorit’s robbery ‘PTSD.’
What exactly does PK do when he’s traveling? I think I addressed my confusion on that in an earlier recap. Well, still confused. Dorit complains that he’s never home.
He dismisses her PTSD claims and calls it obnoxious. PK is still pissed that the Pretty Woman date went left when Dorit started whining about the robbery. I think he is kind of justified. The whole Pretty Woman theme was a little questionable, but his intentions were good. Dorit didn’t even bat an eye at the fact that he dressed her like a hooker, and wanted to pretend she was one for the evening.
PK calls her high maintenance. Whooda thunk that?? She can barely sit down in these fucking pants. She does this lean back fall into her chair thing.
******
It’s the night of Kyle’s event. They pick up Morgan on the way. Maybe it’s her voice, but she acts so little girlish around Kyle.
So they get to the venue, and Morgan is warming up to perform later, and is singing a song about being ‘too young for someone.’
Everyone makes the biggest deal ever out of Mario not attending the event, but let’s be honest, wouldn’t that have been awkward since she had a date with her girlfriend?
I rest my case with Annmarie. She randomly brings up to Garcelle and Sutton, at a Celebration of Life Event, that her good fake friend Kyle is throwing in honor of her best friend, about Sutton’s esophagus.
Garcelle asks why she cares. She cares because she’s ‘in Healthcare?’ No you care because Kyle told you to care, and to use this as your thing.
She rambles about how she scoured her medical encyclopedias, and talked to people at work and no one thinks that Sutton’s issue exists. She thinks it’s due to an eating disorder. Bulimia, I’m assuming.
And where did she get the eating disorder idea? Kyle of course. Except bulimics eat, and Kyle accused Sutton of not eating. This is so inappropriate.
Annmarie denies she said ‘eating disorder’ two minutes after she said it.
Garcelle reports to Sutton what this bitch is up to.
Dorit in her yap, says two really improper things back to back. And I don’t mean to pick on Dorit, I don’t. I know they all say shady shit about each other in their yaps. It’s kind of what they’re for.
But as I was trying to point out about Dorit being extra harsh on Garcelle, last week, here is another example.
First I want to say, does she ever point out and chastise fucking Kyle for being the pot stirrer of all pot stirrers? NO, she certainly does not.
But she has this huge issue with Garcelle merely forewarning Sutton that stupid ass Annmarie may be approaching her to tell her that her condition isn’t a thing. This is my issue with Dorit. She singles out and targets Garcelle over the most ridiculous shit imaginable. And that’s what I wish that Garcelle would’ve focused on during their conversation. Not the silly woke ass BS of ‘these are words you can’t say to me because I’m black.’
And fucking duh, she’s only sticking up for Annmarie, (even though she’s black) to please Kyle.
Then she says that when she met Morgan at a dinner two years ago in London, “she stuck out like a sore thumb” and she didn’t understand why she was even there. Stuck out like a sore thumb? That’s so crude. It’s my no means a compliment. She’s not good enough, and doesn’t fit in with them is what that sounds like. Maybe YOU don’t fit in with her!
Fuck you Dorit. Fuck you. You’re such a twat.
And the fruit kabob scene with Kyle and Morgan. I mean – what? The way Kyle kept nonchalantly flinging the kabob towards her to eat her cantaloupe, then sort of looking away, I feel like it was one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen on Housewives, in a while.
Kyle gives her speech about Lorene, and I love the part about how they had a ‘word’ they used if the were arguing, since neither wanted to apologize.
What’s making this season extra weird is that well, it’s making no sense. As all over the place as Housewives are, which we’re used to, but in all of the scenes, Kyle causes this ruckus and cries about them questioning her about Mario, when the are in fact not really together at this point,
Then in her confessionals, she admits there ARE problems, and talks like they’re split up. Which as we now know, they are.
Like who put this shit together? Shouldn’t in make SOME sense?? Even if it’s Housewives?
