European/Australian whatever -non-American chefs cannot make American style dippy/scrambled eggs.

These non-American chefs should know these stupid hillbillie Americans are going to be ordering all different styles of eggs. So if you don’t like to cook them, cannot cook them, prepare some sort of dish, or crepes or whatever. They bitch they weren’t cooked correctly. Whomever ordered ‘over medium’ deserved for them not to be right. Dumb ass. This isn’t a fucking truck stop.

One reason why I love Below Deck is listening to them make fun of Americans. If you ever want to know what we get picked on from people in other countries, watch Below Deck.

Also, while I’m on that subject, I didn’t want to notice this, but I accidentally did, so I’m sharing. It seems like the crew members that are the most pain in the ass, lazy, condescending, terrible work ethic, ‘tude about following orders, are Americans.

Now it’s not 100%, so don’t come at me with examples. But I would guess, 80% of the horrible crew, that ends up getting fired, or suck and are tolerated, are Americans. That’s just embarrassing.

Due to the water choppiness, some of the dudes are sick and want to go ashore.

I wonder if Sandy rallied this group of guys for the first charter to ‘prove’ that she doesn’t hate gay guys, since that was talked about due to the way she treated ‘Frazer’ last season. And it is a thing. I did some investigation. She seemed so disgusted by his presence, I was thinking maybe he just rubs her the wrong way, since he’s a feminine dude. Apparently sometimes, NOT all, gay women are put off by the feminity of gay guys.

Sandy was clearly just annoyed at him for existing. And is showed.

She favors the deck crew, especially the good looking ones, and especially if there’s a cute blonde chick.

Still waiting for Nat to brush her hair. Can’t she even try to do a cute ‘messy pony or bun, instead of it just being a mess?

She’s hanging all over Luka already.

This is okay, I’m in an open relationship.

This boyfriend thing is a little off. I’ve heard of open relationships. I think it’s gross. I don’t want my guy you know, with me, right after he’s been with others, (or even just one other) because ya just don’t know. It’s gross. I don’t need some lady part nastiness, on my lady parts. Euw.

She explains how after he reeled her in, he drops the ‘open relationship’ thing, but she accepted it because she was already invested, in love with him, whatever, at that point. What in the WHAT is wrong with women, honestly? That we accept this kind of shit. Four months isn’t that long. It’s not like you have years invested in this person. I wish I would’ve walked away when I first started getting bad vibes. Saved me A LOT of fucking trouble.

Are we going to have a repeat of Tash with that Cra Cra she was with last season. Constant texting and arguing?

Doc doesn’t know what the tender is, as Nat tells them they’ll be soon headed for shore.

A tender in America is a chicken, right?” Yep, sorry to say it is. I think she may think it’s like a type of actual chicken, not how it’s prepared. You would think Doc could’ve figured it out based on the context. “The tender will be taking you to the shore soon.”

Dude asks Luca if he has a bag he can puke in on the way to shore from the tender? Did Doc just invite a bunch of random morons that he met at a bar to charter this yacht with him?

Oh, so puke in this ginormus body of water, is that okay?

Sandy gets a message that there is not a bosun available, but a deckhand is.

Nat seems good at delegating, and knowing how to shuffle the girls around as to who needs to be doing what.

Jessika still seems to be pouting about Nat ‘taking it easy on Brooke.’ I think we can move on from that. Especially since she’s leaving.

The boys return from their sight seeing and shopping trip, and are playing with the water toys. Guess everyone is done puking.

Lara handles some line entanglement issue in the water, all by herself. I was foreseeing this ending differently. I was foreseeing micro managing, Captain Lurker suddenly appearing, and pitching a fit that she didn’t ask for help, or something along those lines.

She didn’t need no stinkin’ boy to help her!

******

Sandy lets Luka know Ruan is not returning, and asks Luka to take on the bosun position.

He accepts. Wonder how long it’s going to be until she starts telling the interior that they suck ass, and telling them they need to be as hard working and perfect as the deckhands are. You can already see she has a boner for this kid. She lets him know a new deckhand will be starting in a few weeks.

******

Dinner service begins. Jack ‘knocks it out of the park’ again, as Sandy would say. The risotto is perfect, and that’s not an easy task.

Nat starts the decorations for the Rave party that the guests requested. Hayleigh is asked to help, and is whines that she “doesn’t know how to decorate…”

Nat is calling the “jus’ (French for sauce) ‘Jew’ to the guests.

Hayleigh did nothing but bumble around like an idiot, and Brooke is taking half an hour for ‘turn downs.’ So nothing is done.

This as a problem, since this festie is taking place directly following dinner. She tells Jess to finish up with service, so she can make sure the decorating is actually done on time.

Jessika bitches that she’s asked to ‘lead service’ since these dumb bitches were clueless, and Nat needed to take over. Just to clarify, she’s being asked to carry plates to the table, announce what’s on them, set them down, and walk away.

You’re the chief stew you should be leading service.”

Jessika, she’s the chief stew, you’re a follower, remember? So do the what you’re told. This isn’t brain surgery, it’s throwing plates down on the fucking table! Luka gives her some positive reinforcement. Sometimes that’s just all it takes. The only catastrophe was the dude getting the wrong red wine.

Why does the big guy put his hand under his utensil every time he takes a bite?

******

It’s the Rave!! Jessika realizes she was overreacting to her being asked to ‘lead service’ since she found that she could handle it.

*****

Breakfast on day two, and Jack learned his lesson. No diner style egg orders allowed. Here’s a quiche. Shut up and eat it!

Anchor drama, as a whole ass cement block (they’re calling it a ‘brick’) is attached to the anchor. What in the HELL?? why would a cement block be at the bottom of the fucking ocean, other than dead body thing? Do you think?? It does have a rope around it. OhmiGod. Euw. I wonder if the murderer was watching. I have chills.

This is something you don’t see every day!

Luka gets a knife from the chef to free it. ‘Brick knife’ he jokes.

They dock, and this kid clearly knows what the hell he’s doing. Guys depart, and hand over the big fat envelope

Again Sandy announces to the crew, “I’m so happy I have women on deck.” Yeah, lady we know! These comments coming from her are meant to sound innocent, like ‘yay girl power’ but they’re sounding skeevy. Because it’s Sandy.

I have stopped referring to her as ‘Captain Creepy’ so I hope you’re proud of me. If I start seeing some creepy behavior, then it’s getting picked back up.

She drills it in to Nat that she’s going to have to be stepping BACK once the chief stew arrives. Sit down creepo, she knows ! Stop pot stirring.

This is clearly all a set-up but whatever, this is why we watch, right?

Brooke gets cut loose, with her inexperience as a stew, and deckie, she’s not needed.

Doc and his very drama free crowd, tipped $20g’s. He knew he had to tip big. Pretty sure this was a cheap charter for them to agree to be filmed.

I love how in Italy, it’s all outdoor dining. There are just like tables, tables, everywhere.

Nat tells Luka about her open relationship situation. Hayleigh flashes her tits. And not just a quickie, now-you see-em-now-you don’t type of flash. She lingers on the flash. Not sure if that was the alcohol, or if this is just something she does.

Tumi’s got her visa, and she’s en route, however Kyle still is not.

We’re all assuming Kyle has been shit talking Nat to Tumi, so now the drama and strife groundwork has been laid. This is why Kyle is back. He’s a shyster, and a shitty stew.

So many people commented on last season’s Sailing Yacht when all three stews were normal, and supported each other and got along. We didn’t miss the shrieking, tattling, and the never-ending petty drama of who’s doing more, and who had a longer break and dumb ass shit like that.

Sandy we get it, you trust Captain Jason.

Tumi’s little spiel that she goes into about feeling insecure, being the ‘new kid in town’ and has a little self-doubt, doesn’t really match the ‘tude that she gives Nat during and after the tour.

It seemed like she knew what to say, criticize her organization, since that’s something she takes pride in. I mean to call it a ‘shit show’ was weirdly harsh, then she tries to back peddle it.

The silverware drawer was kind of a mess, so that seemed to be what she was basing her whole fake problem on. Oh, and she didn’t like the placement of the sunscreen basket.

Nat asks her to clarify, what she means.

Tumi answers, “the boat itself” in the way it’s ‘naturally’ been set up.

The boat is just NATURALLY disorganized, it’s not you.

Huh?? The ‘Boat Itself’ isn’t organized?? ‘Naturally?’ Does she know the boat isn’t human? I know we refer to them as ‘she’ but it’s not literal, Tumi.

She goes on and reassures Nat what she meant by that statement, and wasn’t referring to her being disorganized, but the ‘natural’ boat. It continues to make zero sense. Also her tone doesn’t match what she’s saying. Then there’s some hand gestures,

Girl, if Kyle instructed you to start shit with her, couldn’t you try to come up with something a little better?? Try to make some fucking sense??

That was weird. I didn’t watch Down Under, but I’m already getting she’s a fucking dumb ass vibes.

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