Okay boys and girls and everyone in between! Here we go! Episode 17, Season 17, Part 1 Recap of Reunion Part 1! The good news is that there are only TWO parts!! Not three not four!!
Kind of a new thing, a simulated beach back drop. Gina’s reaction is that of a six year old as usual. Child like excitement.
“This is where we live!!”
I’m starting to feel like she may be a little bit slow. I think she might think she really lives here.
And right off the bat, I’m going to go for the hair. What IS the deal with these over the top extensions? (no pun intended) And Emily and Shannon both rival Teresa’s wedding hair.
Emily does look really pretty, since she lost weight, but she’s also giving mannequin. It’s all so fake and plastic looking. Is all of that hair necessary?? Her mannerisms, caressing her fake hair, she seemingly thinks she really looks amazing.
Good for her, that’s not a bad thing, but she could use toning it all down a little. All of that fake wavy hair, and heavy makeup is aging her. And she does have the weird ‘ozempic face’ as I’ve been hearing about. She claims she’s off of it, and is working out to maintain her trimmer figure, but I’m not buying it. She’s lazy. Seriously can she stop finger banging her hair?? We see the hair!
And speaking of that – there’s Shannon who also went the route of over doing it. Maybe she got inspired by dressing as Gina in her bad hair era, for the doppleganger party.
Where is Bravo getting these hair and makeup people?? Craig’s List?
Whomever told Shannon she looks good, and suggested this Teresa ‘wedding hair’ look, should not be doing hair and makeup. Especially not on ladies in this age range, because they clearly don’t understand that less is more.
Jenn went for some pancake look, for whatever reason. Possibly trying to set herself apart form the 80’s Valley Girls on the other side.
I’m okay with Heather and Gina’s. They chose normal fucking hair that suits their age range. Don’t get me started on Gina’s dress though. And Heather with the black again.
Andy starts out with viewer questions that are pretty soft ball, but we’re just getting warmed up. Already, I can’t sit here and listen to Heather cry and boo fucking hoo about being treated shitty, and then Tamra with some ‘hurt feelings’ horseshit. Pahlease.
Jenn is first one up to review her season.
Tamra insists she didn’t “get her on her show.”
They flash on Tamra’s favorite thing ever. Repeating Ryan’s alleged statement of “I’m gonna fuck herrrrr!!!” She loved doing the face and the finger. I think she needed to do an outfit change every dang time she said it. If you know what I mean.
Gina does a little intervention type of thing on Jenn’s behalf, and lets Tamra know how fucked up the narrative was of Jenn ‘destroying her family’ for leaving Will for Ryan. She delivers a half ass apology to Jenn.
Tamra, I’m asking you, in case you’re reading this, but I doubt if you can read, did you destroy your family when you left Simon?
Tamra was also in a loveless marriage, married to an overbearing abusive douche bag. Does she consider her family ‘ruined’ when they split up? Though I don’t condone the alleged cheating, was Jenn supposed to just stay in her miserable marriage, but not Tamra??
What kind of a sick thing is that for a woman to say to another woman. Especially one, that has been divorced twice.
Tamra nods her head like an idiot at this statement, agreeing that her family was not ‘destroyed’ when she separated from Will. She only said it like a hundred fucking times. But she didn’t mean it.
Ryan declined the invite to attend this fun little function, of pointing fingers and calling names, that we call a ‘reunion.’ It needs a different name.
What would Ryan sitting here accomplish?
Besides just another fucking platform for Tamra to run her fucking mouth and spew out nasty names.
We know he’s a player, Tamra. You’re not telling us anything we don’t know, based on the info we’ve been given. If YOU have it figured it out, and don’t even know what corn stalks are, pretty sure the viewers are onto him.
We know he craves attention from multiple women simultaneously. We get it. When he gets caught, he lies and makes shit up. Most of us know someone like that. I definitely do.
I do believe he’s lying abut the dick pic. And yes he WILL BE CHEATING ON HER at some point, if he’s not already. He probably is. And she is going to look like a humiliated schmuck. But she needs to figure all of this out ON HER OWN! She’s been presented with all of the exhibits, and the info, just let her fucking go.
I think a lot of Tamra’s issue is that she’s jealous of Jenn, because Eddie’s not taking care of business, and Ryan is.
Also why he’s not here, to be fair, I think he knows he’s busted with the info that Tamra has on these text messages, and how the timeline coincides with being on a trip with Jenn, as he’s telling this chick to be at home naked waiting for him. That’s so fucking skeevy and gross. He didn’t want to sit here in front of a million people and explain himself. Because he can’t.
And yes, as Jenn says, if he got lippy with Tamra, she would totally play the “you can’t talk to a woman like that, you piece of shit!!!!!” card. In Shreiky Tamra voice.
To which he should reply, “I’m not.”
For reals, what was Gina thinking with this dress? What WAS the train of thought here? She can’t even sit down in it, without seeing her whole lady parts.
Who did she first model that for, and that person, said “yes totally wear this!” Her daughter? Emily, Travis who??
I think she may have taken this dress from her 7 year-old daughter. It looks like something I would wear as a beach cover up. Or to bed.
Okay Emily, Captain fucking Detective, Ryan WAS most likely ring shopping ‘for the show.’ Duh. Thanks, attorney, for pointing that out to this poor girl who clearly loves this stooge. Good thing you’re so much smarter than everyone, and put your law degree to good use for Housewives!
Can she just sit there and twirl and caress her $5,000 weave and fucking shut up? I predict the arm gyrations are going to start soon. With that question out of her pie hole, I’m seeing she is going to be acting identical to the way she acted last season with Noella, about her separation from her husband.
Like woman mind your beeswax. Why is she so disturbingly invested in these other women’s marital and boyfriend strife?
She barely even acknowledged Jenn all season, the same as Noella last season, but she gets to this ‘reunion’ format, and she has all of these prying and sketchy questions and ‘speculations.’ Is she THAT BORED in her life and her own marriage? Is her marriage perfect?? Has Shane ever stepped out? Probably. Was it with a dude? Probably. Will she be eventually divorcing him, and taking him to the cleaners? Probably.
Jenn answers this gas lighting and fucking rhetorical question while Emily sits there looking smug as fuck. She says they are talking about it, once her divorce is final.
And she IS pursuing her divorce and not making a million fucking excuses that make no sense. And she’s even introduced him to her mom, even though the circumstances aren’t the best.
Not sure why, but she IS serious about this dude, and isn’t just trying to be competitive, and just get some dick every day. She doesn’t care what else is out there. She really loves this guy, God help her.
She’s having to defend the affair question, if they were doing more than just talking and connecting, (also cheating) and Tamra because she’s Tamra, shares that Ryan told her and Eddie that he was having an affair with her.
My God, she has no shame. She claims she felt ‘dirty’ because they knew Will, for being privy to this info. You felt ‘dirty’ Tamra?? That’s the word you choose?? Give me fucking break. You didn’t feel dirty, you started formulating how you were going to USE this info to your benefit! Which is PROBABLY how you got back on when you pitched it to Andy. Dirty. Fuck me, this hag thinks viewers are idiots. She’s the one that plays dirty. Maybe that’s what she meant.
Snuffleupagus wastes no time getting her schnauze in there.
“Aren’t you worried he’s going to do this again??”
Yes bitch she is. Don’t be a dumb ass, and don’t present hurtful rhetorical questions. Of course she is, but it’s HER choice. Again woman, why so interested? It doesn’t seem to be coming from a place of ‘concern’ to me, at all. Same with Tamra. She gets all cranked up about Jenn using verbiage that ‘she brought her on the show.’
Okay, woman, you SUGGESTED, when you pitched your story line idea to Bravo. SAME FUCKING THING. No, you weren’t the ultimate decision maker, you didn’t draw up the contract. But she’s on the show because of you. Gemily talked to her first? Well that’s new. Probably because Tamra told her to! These aren’t even reality shows anymore. They’re just a fucking series of set-ups and pre-contrived arguments. And there’s always a ‘victim’ that’s not in the loop that they’re the sacrificial lamb, to give the other broads shit to bitch about and be the ringleaders.
Jenn claims to have seen the very flirty and incriminating text messages between Ryan and this other chick. Tamra is such a fucking evil bitch, that she’s printed them out. Thought she told Ryan on the finale, that she’s letting all of this go, as long as Jenn is happy that’s all she cares about. Jenn does seem to have excuses for all of his skanky behavior, and doesn’t seem to be overly bothered by it. This is why everyone needs to leave it be. Like they’re so bothered, that she’s not bothered.
I told ya, here they go! Here go the slightly less chubby arms by way of lypo. (not working out) Emily wants the skinny on the infamous dick pic. She needs to know!!! She is very interested in Ryan’s dick (pic.) Tamra gets in on the arm action too.
Jenn stands by Ryan’s explanation, she was the intended recipient of the ‘limp dick’ message, meant as a joke. Why would he say he ‘misses her’ if they were together at that point. They may not have been with each other, at the moment he sent it, but you don’t tell your current partner that you ‘miss them.’ She claims it’s because she was sick.
It still doesn’t even make sense. It’s kind of sad that he’s making her look like this bumbling idiot to cover for him. Emily and Tamra try to convince her she’s made up different stories as to when and why the picture was sent. Oh. My. God. These two women are clearly not getting laid.
Exactly why was the dick pic sent??
Exactly when was the dick pic sent??
Exactly where were you when SAW the dick pic?
What were you wearing when the dick pic was sent???
I wish I could say I’m exaggerating. Are they hearing themselves?
Emily’s get her snout in there again. No one else is asking a shit ton of fucking nosy questions, only Emily. Maybe she needs to go back to work.
So Tamra’s getting dragged for this one on social media, and deservingly so. “Who the hell sends limp dick pictures on snap chat at 47 years old?
Well, I don’t know, Tamra, what woman at 56 YEARS OLD flashes her tiny deflated tits that NO ONE wants to see, in front of TV cameras?
Also Tamra, if you know anything about dudes, which you should, you’re on your third fucking husband, you should know they never change! A four year old is a ten hear old, is a twenty year old, is a sixty year old. Same fucking thing. Less hair. Of course dudes would send dick pics at 47!
Now Tamra decides that Jenn’s “an amazing person.”
Oh my God. I can’t.
******
Part 2 of recap, of Part 1 Reunion to follow!
Hey if Bravo can do multiple parts of the reunion, I can do multiple parts of my recaps! Stay tuned!!
