Still in Mexico for the birthday of Ashley, as the knock down drag out continues between Honorary Grand Dame, and the Real Grand Dame. Not sure which is which at this point. Who cares, sick of the Grand Dame thing anyway. It’s getting stale and stupid. And a really childish thing to squabble about.
The conflict currently seems to have more to do with who was more supportive of the other with the passing of their parents.
There seems to be mass confusion as to what Charisse even said about Karen’s mother?
They did switch to that topic really fast, then it all just went downhill from there, and became easy to misinterpret what was going on. They’re confused as to why Karen is ranting about her mom at this point.
The argument is still going as they both sit down again, across from each other, and Charrisse mocks her for telling her to not speak about her mother.
Karen thinks the “I was there for you when your mom passed away” rhetoric was not genuine, and perhaps she even had ulterior motives for attending the service. Okay, well now maybe we’re getting somewhere. That would be annoying I think. I’m not saying that is what she did, but maybe it’s worth hearing her out, but it probably has more to do with the fact Charrisse has this dirt on her.
So apparently they weren’t really in a friendly space five years ago when her mom passed away, and Charrisse decided to attend the service. Karen complains in her yap that she was not invited. But unless it was a private closed to the public service, you do not need an invitation to attend a funeral service.
Karen goes on to say that perhaps she thought to herself, maybe it was genuine and heart felt if she never brings it up on the show.
Well then she brings it up on the show, so MAYBE you can see Karen’s point. Even if it wasn’t in front of a camera crew, for someone to say, “see I do care about you, I came to your mom’s funeral” is weird and implies an ulterior motive, or a pat on the back for doing something you shouldn’t really need tobe praised for. It reminds me of when when someone donates to a charity and blasts it all over their social media, or just walks around verbally notifying people. It tends to rub people the wrong way, and makes it appear that you did it for bragging rights only. That’s fucked up.
The ladies really are trying to get to the bottom of this. And asking legit questions, calmly.
Candiace asks, “what about that was offensive to you?”
Karen answers it wasn’t offensive at the time, but became so (and there’s footage to prove it) when she pointed it out to her, at Candiace’s one year anniversary party. They roll it, and I do see how it came across kind of disingenuous.
“Out of all of our friends, I was the only one who came to your mother’s funeral.” That seems like a weird thing to say to someone.
Charrisse clarifies in her yap that it seems like Karen is trying to convince others that she has ill intentions so she’s using scenarios that make no sense.
“I truly went there to be supportive because nobody else was there.”
So that’s kind of a dig right? And was she just referring to the Housewives, as nobody? Or pointing out she doesn’t have any other friends?
And just when you thought it was safe… it gets going again, Karen is ranting about Charrisse attacking people’s families. Okay so NOW we’re getting to the bottom of it perhaps. Or not.
Back to table banging, and Karen has veins popping out on her temples.
Candiace hanging on every word and intently watching this play out while eating her food. The rest continue eating too. Well at least the ladies are still eating through this. That’s good. Why let good free food go to waste because these two want to fight over a funeral attendance?
Charrisse shares that Karen had gone to rehab. I didn’t know she had a drinking problem. Maybe I did kind of forgot she tended to overindulge last season. Didn’t she get smashed and started complaining about Ray’s wrinkly old dick or something? That’s her best friend.
That’s odd info to throw in someone’s face in an attempt to embarrass them. She goes on in her yap, that ‘the girls’ (not the wives?) got her out and then they partied. Charrisse is spa-ILLING the tea in her yap. Doesn’t seem like any producer is exactly twisting her arm either. I’m ready for this to be over. However, Charisse gets to say what she’s been dying to say – “you were with a man that’s married but I’m breaking up families.”
I think it’s time we all admit that all arrows seem to be pointing to the fact that Karen was having a little fling goin on at some point while she was with Ray. Maybe he was too. Who knows.
Which of course does not reflect the persona of the supposed ‘Grand Dame’ of Potomac. And it makes me kind of disgusted the way she’s been running her mouth, the past few seasons bragging about her great marriage, and everything is so perf, and blah blah blah. Which was easy to tell was overcompensating for the fact her marriage is far from perfect.
Then sharing sex life details when they’re 60ish and 70ish is also so very not necessary.
No one thinks or wants to even think about her and her 73 year old husband banging it out every day.
It’s great if they are, (but I’m sure they’re not) we just don’t need to know. Didn’t she do a really cringy and unnecessary bubble bath scene last season? That’s when they were doing their vow renewal and she was kicking her perfect marriage scenario into high gear. She kept repeating “Ray is my best friend” over and over. Well I guess she needed another bestie, hence the side dude.
They all finally decide this needs to be dropped for the time being, and decide the Shaman was responsible for at least getting them to communicate and air this shit out. Whatever.
Movin on to Mia and Jacqueline, thanks to Candiace bringing it up. Guess she’s dying to hear more screeching and screaming. Jacqueline very maturely shuts it down, and tells them she just met all of them, and doesn’t feel comfortable discussing it in front of them. Well, that sounds like common sense. It’s safe to say she’ll never be a Housewife.
Candiace, Wendy and Ashley put on their dancing shoes, while Mia and Jacqueline head to one of their rooms to chat. Guess there won’t be any showering together on this trip.
Mia really is on some sort of power, I’m better than you, trip here with her BFF of 30 years. Which is kind of disappointing to see. Also, side note, that weird puckering thing she does, is it a nervous tick or what? She looks insane.
She needs knocked off of her high horse. And rumor has it she was. Maybe it was karma that came a knockin, when Gordon’s family fired her ass from her duties at The Joint.
So here we go with these two discussing their fight on the plane. Jacqueline tells her the things that she said were unacceptable.
Mia, playing dumb, (not a stretch) wants to know “what part?” of what she said was unacceptable. What part? Like girl everything you said about your friend was vile.
Jacqueline particularly didn’t like the ‘you don’t have any friends’ comment, and insinuating she’s been intimate with Gordon.
It basically gets laid out here in this scene that Jacqueline has affairs with married men. Jacqueline stops denying it, and calls Mia a hypocrite because she started sleeping with Gordon when he was married.
Well, she owns it, is her defense. Oh, THAT makes it okay.
Mia saunters away like she’s the fucking Queen, or something. No, far from it. Jacqueline tells her she sold her soul. To Bravo, I assume she means. She might be right.
Mia doubles down in her yap trying to disgrace her friend, and points out that Jacqueline is having an affair with more than one married man. Okay, Mia if you are really this disapproving of her engaging in this behavior, why did you not ever address it with her in private, before you got her on the show, and instead waiting until the cameras were rolling?
Maybe because she’s not really that disapproving in her real life, since she also has done it. But in Bravo Housewife life, this commentary makes her appear self-righteous.
They gather on the beach for another weird Ashley activity where she tries to convince us she’s genuine and spiritual.
Okay quick off-topic question. But I do try to incorporate fashion into my Housewife thoughts.
Can the thong swim suits soon go out of style, please? It probably wouldn’t be so bad, except the ladies insist on fucking bending clear over while wearing them, with their bare asses up in the air.
Can we not bend at the knees, so we don’t have to look at your asshole? It’s not inviting and titillating to straight women to see a chick’s butt hole. The majority of the Housewife audience are straight women and gay men.
Maybe some disagree, but for me, keep your asshole to yourself. I’m good.
Okay, I feel better.
The ladies are all bitching about this latest activity because they just want to relax with some island cocktails on the beach. But Ashley insists on pushing her yogi agenda. Honestly, if you’re with a group where this isn’t their thing, why push it? There’s these lovely canopy beds right on the fucking beach, but sure, let’s do yoga in the sand with our entire ass hanging out. That sounds so much better than lying there with a pina coloda.
Karen and Candiace are opting out and hit the canopies. Candiace addresses the Charrisse messiness with Karen. Karen doesn’t remember banging on the table, only Charrisse banging on the table.
Correction, they’re not doing plain old yoga, they’re doing Kundalini yoga. Designed to increase your sexual arousal. So we’re doing this on an all girls’ trip, why? Because it’s Ashley.
She shares in her yap that she’s never experienced any benefit from it. But does she really need any help in that department? Seems to me like she gets turned on from a fly.
Her participants are only Gizelle, Mia and Jacqueline. There’s some grinding into the sand, and thrusting involved. Guess this is the arousal increase trick. Not to beat a dead horse, but none of their men are even in the same country right now.
But this is Ashley, she’s the driver of this crazy train, and she is bisexual as she’s reminds us over and over. Maybe she wants to get at one of the wives on the trip? Or maybe she’s just a fucking dumb ass.
Yeah, I’m going with the latter.
Now they’re off to the Cenotes. I would be so mad if I was on this trip, and was forced into all of these dumb activities, instead of relaxing and chilling in the sun.
Especially coming from the east coast, in the early spring, when you’ve been cold, and holed up in your house for four fucking months, and it’s too fucking cold to go to the beach.
Ashley is a ding dong.
So they’re all decked out in their resort wear, with their Fendi bags to go to this buggy murky swamp, known as the Cenotes.
Let’s harass Robyn on the van about a wedding date, because we haven’t done that before. Way to keep it fresh ladies.
Here’s shallow Ashley, pretending she’s deep: The Cenotes have healing powers and they’re spiritual …
No one thought to pack bug spray. Swimming in The Cenotes are to bring you a list of good luck occurrrences, including money, the dude says. Now we see why Ashley is here! Doesn’t take long for the bitches to start bitching. Ashley jumps right in the water, jewelry and all. She is literally the only one smiling and enjoying this,
Everyone else wants to get the fuck out of there. She should have just taken this trip by herself. Maybe she could have snagged herself another rich old white dude at the resort. She dumped Luke already from Summer House. He probably told her he’s not loaded.
So that’s over, and the lunch spot looks a little sketchy. It looks like instant diarrhea to me. Ashley wants to know if they’re all feeling ‘cleansed’ after the Shaman yesterday, and the Cenotes today. Don’t everyone answer at once.
I would be answering no, but after this lunch I’ll surely be having a colon cleanse!
Karen wants to know how Ashley and Candiace are doing. Guess they’ve been kind of avoiding each other since super deep holy Ashley brought her nasty dusty muppet friend to harass Candiace about Chris supposedly hitting on her, to the comedy show outing.
When they flash the convo, I notice not only was Muppet face nervously slugging cosmos, she also seemed to be stress eating.
I would be stressed out too, if my face was as attractive as an asshole, and I’m sitting here accusing the husband of a super cute hot chick of being all over me.
Candiace all sitting there looking calm, collected and pretty as a picture, while Deborah’s here shoving fries down her gullet, while telling lies, while thinking she actually looks good, and thinking anyone believes her fraudulent fucking crap. She’s a picture of sheer desperation.
Ashley’s on the hot seat about why she put that hag on a leash and drug her to Karen’s show.
She starts spewing out lies to defend herself, that no one with half of a brain cell believes. I would say nice try, but no. She makes no sense. It’s her go-to since the season started, that she would want to know if Michael was doing that, and whatever. We all know she was wanting to project her miserable, humiliating and calculated marriage to Michael The Creep Darby, onto Candiace.
Candiace handles this very calmly, and tells her she thinks she views relationships negatively because her own marriage was so toxic and icky. I’m paraphrasing but that was the drift. Ashley looks like she knows she has no defense. Girl just pack it IN. Candiace wins this one too. My God. Michael grabs dude’s asses, sucks on their dicks, bangs strippers, and you want this ‘Chris was flirting’ to be true in the worst way. But it just ain’t happenin. Ya tried, ya failed. Now go, put your head back in the sand, and play make-believe that Creepo is buyin ya a sprawling five bedroom mansion on his way out the door.
She spews out words that may as well be slimy green vomit, but does manage to say she’s sorry for bringing Oscar to the event to stir up trouble. She literally tries to say it wasn’t meant to be harmful, and it was from a good place. See why I don’t buy all this spirituality fucking bull shit from her. Of course she had ‘ill intentions!’ This dumb bitch has zero credibiltiy.
Isn’t this fraud worried about getting struck by lightening or falling off a cliff or something, after the Shaman, and the Cenotes, and all her whatever whatever, mystic and inner peace baloney, to sit here and fucking LIE to people’s faces??
And just like dishonest people like her do, when they can’t explain their shitty behavior, she turns it around on Candiace, and blames her for calling her out on her fucking fake miscarriage tears three years ago. It WAS fucking fake! I’m telling you guys, she’s shallow as fuck.
Wendy offers some words of wisdom.
Guys, I love this Wendy. Did they slip some kind of permanent sedative solution into her IV when she got put under for her kidney stones. This is like a whole nother fucking person.
She goes on to say that when the three of them hung out together they have a good time. And why can’t they just move forward and put the past behind them? (i.e. Ashley, please give your raggedy friend the boot, and drop this tall tale of Chris hitting on her.)
“That’s fair.” Ashley says, because she knows she’s looking stupid, but of course, doesn’t mean it.
This peacefulness does not last. We rehash the Charrisse and Karen disagreement, when Ashley and Charrisse discuss it amongst themselves at the hotel bar with very poor audio, but luckily there are subtitles for a change when they’re actually necessary. This is probably getting her all riled up again. Ashley is supposedly friends with Karen though? Whatever. All’s fair in love, war and Housewives right?
They are going out for an ‘authentic’ Mexican dinner, Ashley proudly says. Well you are in Mexico, so…
And please don’t tell me we’re talking about Robyn’s ‘wedding’ again. Where is my tequila? Oh that’s right, I drank it all. Why is this such a big deal if they want to just have a small private ceremony? She shares that they decided to get married in Jamaica when they’re already there for her brother-in-law’s wedding, the day after their wedding.
I don’t know. Is anyone getting reminded of Scheana and Brock on Vanderpump, when they were going to get married at James and Raquel’s engagement party?
They don’t think it’s ‘stealing their thunder’ if they do it after theirs and don’t tell anyone. Karen bitches about in in her yap about her parents not being in attendance. This is Karen’s problem why?
She always seems first in line to bitch about Robyn’s relationship. It seems so obsessive to me.
I don’t know that this ceremony ever even happened, because as of now, I don’t believe they have gotten married.
When she was on WWHL at the end of October, they hadn’t gotten married yet. So maybe they didn’t do the Jamaica thing? Well whatever. This is getting into ‘Heather’s black eye’ on SLC territory. No one really cares. Robyn okays a bachelorette party. Well thank God for that.
Gizelle brings up Karen and Charrisse, and their argument.
She thinks that Charrisse was unjustly projected as a family destroyer and liar the previous night. I don’t remember her being on Potomac previously at all. But possibly I didn’t watch the very first season or two. Gizelle deems Charrisse the ‘Queen of Potomac’ which she KNOWS will get right under Karen’s skin. We can see this is why she’s so hardcore for Charrisse right now. Gizelle pretends to be puzzled, when Karen tells her to knock it off.
Robyn gets in with maybe a valid point, and points out that the rest of them are held accountable for addressing the shit they say and do, and Karen seems to try to put herself off limits.
Karen tries to shut it down by forbidding Robyn to talk about her mother. This is getting a little tiring with Karen, and her mom’s passing. While I understand the distress Karen probably felt and still feels, and acknowledge it’s difficult losing your parents, it’s been five years since her elderly mom passed on, to the next life.
She needs to stop forbidding the ladies from discussing the time period. It seems like she’s kind of using it, to keep from discussing what the real issue is here, which is her infidelity in her marriage. Which is extra embarrassing for her since she constantly projects this holier than thou image.
So that’s also kind of distasteful. Charrisse shares that she has lost three brothers, a sister and both of her parents, so she understands grief. She says that she actually put this group together for the show. It looks like she was an original Housewife. So I must not have watched the first season at least. Back then, it sometimes took me a few seasons to warm up to a new franchise. I didn’t watch Atlanta in the beginning either. And I still haven’t gotten into Miami, mainly since it’s on Peacock. And the Girls’ Trips, I can’t get into those.
Charisse lets Karen know the only reason that she got on the show was because she was sitting at her table and was thought to be her friend, even though they didn’t know each other, and got recommended for the show.
Karen looks like she knows that’s true but would much rather dismiss it.
Robyn is earning her Housewife check tonight, and lets Karen know it’s obvious she doesn’t want anyone to be friends with Charrisse, so she can continue to refer to herself as this ‘Grand Dame’ and continue with her facade as the star of the show.
Robyn calls her a bull shitter, and it’s time to stop dancing around the truth and let people see who she really is.
Karen looks quite uncomfortable. And just says “Okay, Robyn.” Which tells me there is truth to what Robyn is saying.
Charrisse is looking pretty smug. I can’t get a total read on her yet.
Even in her yap, while wearing her Ursula/Dracula/Wonder Woman/Space Suit combo, she comes off as defeated, and is overcompensating, yelling that Robyn “sounds stupid, shut up!”
No, Robyn really doesn’t sound stupid for once.
She claims she doesn’t have to respond, (nor have any retort to this) because she’s so smart and is just surveying their loyalties. Woman, what??
Yeah, MMMKAY, You Damned Grand Dame. YOU sound stupid right now, not Robyn.
She also claims they’re scared of Charrisse because she has shit on THEM. Girlfriend there is only one person sitting at this table that is scared of Charrisse.
Since she is put on the spot, she feels pressured into apologizing to the group for the previous argument at the argument table. This is also very typical Housewife behavior. Doing some weird blanket apology sitting at a table, including the person they owe the apology to, but don’t make eye contact with that person, nor directly address them.
So this quickly switches to Mia also doing this with Wendy after the water throwing in Miami at the arguing table. Mia insists she did that group apology thing because she wasn’t sorry. (although she suddenly became ‘sorry’ on social media right after the ep aired, when she saw the backlash)
Karen’s wiping the sweat from her brow, that she’s out of hot water, as they now haggle who knows what phrase definitions. Something tells me Wendy will win this one.
She tries to convince Wendy she was being a friend that night by telling her what Peter was saying about her. Wendy tells her she has no clue how to be a friend. (given her treatment of Jacqueline) And while they’re on the subject of defamation of character, why is she telling people that she called Gordon gay? Mia flimsily tries to maintain that is true, when she knows it’s not.
What Wendy said is “you and your husband can go fuck other women and men.” (probably meaning Mia was the one doing the men, and Gordon was the one doing the women) Was never insinuated Gordon was with dudes. (not there’s anything wrong with that)
Okay Mia, so she didn’t know the exact dynamic of your swinging habits. That does not translate into calling Gordon gay?? At all.
Mia feels the need to explain the Peter’s girlfriend/her girlfriend situation. Again.
She gets roped into apologizing for throwing the drink. I actually thought it was water that she threw. Unless there was a second drink toss.
Now real Wendy seems to be coming out. Gizelle grumbles under her breath every time Wendy says anything, but nothing when it comes to Mia’s comments.
Again, we’re ‘tabling it.’ Seems to be the new phrase. Mia is doing the lip puckering like crazy, and mumbling to Karen. She walks away looking embarrassed as Wendy continues to taunt. See, this where she gets herself into trouble. This is the real Wendy. She already won the argument. Let’s lose the childish taunting.
So much for my theory that she was too wiped out to pick fights, or some sort of calming agent was slipped into her anesthesia.
