The ladies are off to this dump of a private island.
Now the place does give sort of ‘resort’ vibes.
Maybe that’s what all of grilling was about, as to how exactly does this all work, which is a really tacky thing to do when you’re an invited guest getting a free trip.
Jessel has NO fucking shame does she?
Already the food bitching begins. Next will be the rooms.
Daisy has decided she’s a vegetarian even though they flash on a clip of her shoving brisket into her mouth at her Seder dinner.
Did you catch Daisy saying we’re ‘mostly’ vegetarian? (meaning her and Sai I assume.)
So they do make exceptions, but can’t possibly nibble on a chicken quesadilla right now??
On a private fucking island when it takes an entire day to get other food, is when you want to make a fuss?
Hilarious when the staff guy offers her the (kind of scant) fruit platter when she asked for vegetarian options. LOL. He has no patience for their dumb shit. I love how he adds “it’s really GOOD!” In other words – shut up!
This house seems like more of a mini-hotel with the room names and all, but again why do we care? I feel like part of the ‘rules’ of the island, may have been to not change the house.
Carole who wears cut-offs to dinner, fusses about a silk pillow case, which seems kind of un-Carole like.
Sai starts pissing and moaning about David filing for divorce even though she wanted a divorce. She wanted to be the one to file is what this boils down to, it seems.
Jessel comes barreling into Carole’s space for some reason wanting to see her ‘looks.’ Thank God she didn’t say ‘fits.’ Caroloe really would’ve lost it.
“I don’t do looks!” Carole snaps back.
Why is Carole such a fashion buzzkill? Was she always like this?
Jessel makes fun of her twenty pairs of 70’s striped tube socks she has packed for two days on a tropical island.
The dingbat comment gets addressed. Carole tries to defend it as a ‘term of endearment.’ No it was definitely not that. She IS a fucking dingbat.
Carole tries to explain how the series represents a very painful part of her life, losing three people, including her husband (and they weren’t married that long so I assume they still liked each other) within a month of each other. Like what are the chances? I’m sorry but there is something going on with that family. I’m not saying ‘Kennedy curse’ but I’m just saying. Technically Anthony wasn’t a Kennedy, I know. But still. He was related to Jackie, and the Onassis family thought Jackie was cursed. Perhaps she WAS the source of the curse.
While I do think Carolyn makes the plane crash too much about her, and I believe she’s exaggerating her friendship with Carolyn, I do acknowledge the three losses so close together were extremely devastating.
However, her anti-fashion schtick and insistence that Carolyn didn’t care about fashion is bizarre. Let’s face it: Carole is very eccentric and quirky.
Jessel starts to talk about her dad passing away. Carole immediately looks annoyed and doesn’t care. She doesn’t want Jessel comparing the recent loss of her father to HER losses 30 years ago.
She pretends she thinks a bird is a drone. Or did she really think that? If she did, she had a Jessel dingbat moment honestly. That’s one long finger!
Was this abrupt interruption a pay back of some sort for the ‘Kennedy curse’ and ‘Carole Bessette summer’ comment?? Maybe.
Jessel then accidentally calls her ‘Carolyn.’
I know, they’re similar names, but seriously?
******
Erin shares with Daisy that her and Abe’s stupid mezcal business of being THE ones who are ‘bringing it to America’ isn’t working out so great. It’s not up and running and they’re in severe debt.
Daisy outs Jessel’s previous stupid insurance comment about Erin’s house, eluding that it was purposeful to collect insurance money.
Daisy pretends this just ‘slipped out’ and she had NO IDEA it would piss her off so much.
******
Dinner is IN the pool but Erica doesn’t tell anyone until they’re in the process of getting dressed, when they clearly have their outfits already chosen.
Except Carole of course who was “just wearing jeans.” Because you know, she doesn’t do ‘looks.’ Was she always this weird?
Erin and Daisy who are feeling high and mighty since the insurance scam comment got divulged, now decide to talk shit on the island and house.
It’s a dump and Martha would NEVER!!!
Daisy – enough with the Martha thing. She treats you like you’re scum that she scraped out of the gutter, and you’re her personal fucking servant.
They’re apparently mad it’s not Erica’s own ENTIRE island. They wanted to be on the ENTIRE ISLAND. This just is NOT enough space for them.
The fact that there are other houses on it has them in complete distress.
Daisy doesn’t approve of the decorating and they expected to have flown private.
These broads are completely ridick.
Carole approaches the ‘dinner in the pool’ in cut-offs, a sweater, sneakers and these stupid striped tube socks that she’s obsessed with.
Come on Carole. Step it up. This is dinner. Shorts were smart given the table in the pool thing, but did we not bring dressy shorts? And sneakers??
Whatever. She’s making some sort of anti-fashion statement. She’s trying to be Kathy Hilton, and show that she’s above everyone, and doesn’t need to impress these bitches.
Jessel calls her ‘Carrie’ like five minutes after she told Erica she called her ‘Carolyn’ by mistake.
Jessel is not normal. There is something really off with her. Is she on the spectrum?? MY GOD.
Erin and Daisy, still holed up in their room, continue to complain and bitch.
Erin claims she has some sort of tea on Jessel that she’s known for three years that would destroy her family.
Well that has to be about Pavit. Either he has a girlfriend or a boyfriend, and my money’s on the latter.
Erin ya can’t drop breadcrumbs like that. Spill it.
Sai, the former bartender is constantly feeling the need to get behind a bar the SECOND the bartender leaves to take a piss. She’s so weird. This is some sort of flex with her.
She’s like the SNL skit – “don’t make me sing!!”
I am sure she was the crankiest bartender ever. People probably came to David’s bar praying to GOD she wasn’t working, or was in the office getting banged.
You don’t do that shit. You don’t get behind someone’s fucking bar. I know this isn’t a business but there are working employees in the house.
It’s like sitting at someone’s desk, or getting into their phone. It’s rude and intrusive. He looks like he wants to slap her. Can you EVEN imagine if someone did that to her when she was a bartender. She’d rip their fucking face off and fry it up and eat it.
Carole, you know as a former Kennedy cousin-in-law has had a LIIIIIIIFETIME of wearing gowns, dawwwwwwling, and she’s not wearing a gown in a pool!!
I feel like she hasn’t had a reason to wear an actual gown in at least twenty, but okay Carole. A lifetime of gowns. Got it. Keep in mind they just got told as they were getting ready that their feet would be submerged in water.
Once I already decide what I’m wearing, I also do NOT like to deviate. You know these bitches are obsessed with impressing each other. They stuck with their original choices. I would have too. But I wasn’t invited.
There is immediate bitching about the food, that it’s ‘tapas.’ Or as the resident Dingbat put it, “is this like aaaaaaaahhh Capriiii theme dinaaaaa?” What the fuck does that even mean? (She was trying to say ‘tapas, which is Spanish.) I can’t.
‘Capri’ is Italian, with a few different meanings, none of which are food, Jessel. Also you’re not in Italy. Put some food (aka ‘Capri’) in your pie hole so you shut the fuck up and stop sounding so slow.
I guess on paper, eating with tootsies in the pool sounded like a good idea, but it’s windy and chilly, and the water is cold. This would have been better for lunch when it was sunny and they were wearing shorts and swim attire.
Daisy starts to interrogate Erika about the logistics and details of their ownership of the island, insinuating they don’t truly own it.
This forces Erika to explain that no, they don’t own the whole island, however they own their portion, common areas are shared and there’s an HOA-like fee to maintain the island.
I feel like Daisy is trying to get her say that Branson technically owns the island, and she and her husband do not.She’s trying to depict it’s like a ‘rental’ per se. But she’s wrong. A very simple google search would have told her that. He purchased the land and sold portions of it to people. Exactly like a developer buys a chunk of land, hires a builder to build houses on it, then sells the houses and land. I mean really. It’s now new nor complicated. I’m trying to figure out who’s dumber, Jessel or Daisy.
I guess this is her pathetic payback attempt for the popcorn ceiling comments. No one cares about these silly details. We’re still insanely jealous. And you’re coming off as ungrateful and unintelligent. It’s sad when when stoned off her ass Hailey is the voice of reason.
Erin chimes speculating that Branson is the actual owner of her portion.
He’s not. I guess they don’t have internet there? Which would surprise me otherwise they’d be bitching about that too.
This Richard Branson dude purchased the island, built eight houses on it, kept one for himself, and sold the land (with the houses I assume) to other people. There’s a yearly fee to maintain the island. Not sure how the ‘staff’ all works into it, but it seemed like these people are their personal staff. Also who cares.
ANYWAY as Martha would say…
I’m so ready to move on from this ridiculousness. Dumb jealous bitches. Most of them don’t even own a HOUSE FFS.
******
We dive more into Sai’s annoyance that David filed for divorce before she got to.
I’m feeling kind of ‘ANYWAYYYY…’ about this too.
Your marriage blows, and has from almost day one. He’s actually an asshole, and not at all perfect as you depicted for two seasons, you thought your (married) former boss had money, he doesn’t, and now you hate each other.
She claims that she’s worried David will tell lies about her (aka tell the truth.) She seems concerned about what he’s going to say. So those are her real issues, not the actual end of the marriage.
The humiliation that HE filed, and that he’s going to out her. Got it. Next??
Sai, nobody knows who you really are, which is what you used to accuse Jessel of. We know who Jessel is. A shallow money-grubbing ding dong. Pretty sure they call that projection.
One last thing. Did she seriously say she’s authentic? Maybe she read the book. Maybe some insecure satanic ugly jealous miserable hates-her-life bitch bought her that book for Christmas? Maybe.
Daisy jabs at Erika again. (I’m sorry what exactly did Erika do to Daisy? Is this still about her ceiling?) She tries to make make it an insult that her husband makes a shit ton of money.
The snarky comments that she’s trying to sling at Erika are not ‘landing’ no pun intended. They’re aughable and embarrassing. Like when someone ugly tries to insult you for being pretty. That’s what it feels like.
What in THE FUUUCK IS WRONG with Daisy? She doesn’t seem drunk.
Erin and Daisy sound like Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-DUMBFUCK here. Just say what the hell you wanna say.
In what universe do we live in, that we’re now knocking a WOMAN because her husband outearns her? Why would that make Erika feel BAD??
I know this franchise has evolved over the years, to say the least, but wasn’t that the premise these shows were built on? Wives and stay-at-home-moms living a lavish life that have wealthy successful husbands?
Clearly Eugene the beautician, and Tom Hanks the Mezcal maker, are failing miserably in this department if they think it’s SO weird that Erika’s husband supports their lifestyle.
Erika’s not some idiot like Jenn on OC. She has her own brand and business, which is how she met this guy. He was taking her class. What IS even happening here??
Erin’s smirks of approval at Daisy trying to accost (but failing) Erika are annoying. I mean when your insults you’re trying to sling are actually compliments, you should just shut up.
OMG you don’t own the WHOLE island?? And OMG you’re husband is a gazzillionaire — how embarrassing!!
Erika gets scolded by Tweedle-Dee that Daisy was insulted about the ceiling thing. Jessel defends Erika. Tweedle-Dum compares it to insulting her outfits and saying they’re Shein.
Side note: Do people really still buy stuff from Shein when it’s become this running joke for cheap low-class clothing??
I definitely didn’t agree with the way Jessel and Erika were acting at her apartment in that scene because she has a small and affordable apartment with ‘popcorn’ fucking ceilings.
I legit never want to write or say ‘popcorn ceilings’ ever again! You know when I first heard that was even a thing? On some Bravo VPR special about the early years, where they pointed out the cast were all poor bartenders and servers, and “lived in apartments with popcorn ceilings” and how embarrassed they should be to be filmed there.
I almost forgot Erin is mad about the insurance claim thing.
She drops a hint about it, then goes all in, stating how she doesn’t want to get into it, when she clearly does. Still don’t get why she was attacking Erika when JESSEL said it.
As it comes up later, Daisy didn’t exactly scold Jessel in the moment. She laughed along.
The sky opens up to a downpour. Another reason why the in-the-pool dinner was a stupid idea.
Carole trips and falls into the bushes which was very Lu-like. I don’t think it’s alcohol-related though, I think just more klutziness. Maybe both. She’s had like three Luanne moments tonight. The silk pillow cases, the lifetime of wearing gowns, and now she falls into the bushes.
They go under roof and start shooting pool. The bickering continues. Daisy’s analogy is correct: It’s different when SHE makes fun of her you-know-what, but insulting when someone else does.
She tells Jessel, it’s like if Jessel would call Pavit a dick (he’s a lot of things but not a ‘dick.’ Does he even have one?) but if someone else said Pavit’s a dick, it’s different.
Maybe that will make her understand. At any rate it is TIME TO DROP IT.
Daisy gets mad when Erika corrects her usage of self-deprecating, so then she goes for Erika’s décor. I think Daisy used it correctly. She meant like your own situation, with the husband comparison.
Maybe Daisy IS drunk? She’s acting insane.
Erika does actually look offended by that. Is there a point when Daisy will start to consider the score even? She insulted her private island (words I thought I’d never say) by insinuating she doesn’t really own it, her marriage, and now her furniture. I would say Daisy, it’s time to drop it. Your insults are asinine and are actually compliments.
I guess that’s how you know you’re doing pretty well in life, when some peasant makeup person tries to offend you, but all they can come up with are things that are great about your life…
Erika’s dig in her yap should have been said in the moment: Daisy feels entitled because she’s leeching off of Martha Stewart. That was PRICELESS. And that would have shut her up.
Daisy divulges that she did tattle to Erin about the insurance scam joke. I do think she said it in jest. It was inappropriate, but I don’t think she was serious. Jessel IS pretty dumb though, so I could be wrong.
Erin overhears and starts to flip her shit.
At this point Jessel should just say sorry, and not blame the other ladies. That’s how these arguments escalate. Clearly they intentionally look for personalities that they can tell don’t apologize nor admit to wrongdoing EVER.
Jessel lets Erin know Daisy laughed along. She probably should’ve mentioned that to Erin.
Jessel continues to deny what she said. She didn’t say ‘scam.’ She said ‘thing.’
Wow. That was 100% what you meant, Jessel. Pahlease.
Jessel scolds Daisy for telling Erin the comment and reminds her she was definitely chiming in.
Not gaslighting. How dumb does she look? They just rolled the fucking clip.
Daisy ridiculed their debt and elaborated on Jessel’s comment, comparing it to setting an unsuccessful restaurant on fire. I guess there’s a joke in there somewhere about setting a fire and ‘gaslighting’ but it’s not coming to me right now.
Also gaslighting is someone convincing you something that actually happened, didn’t happen, not pointing out that you said something that you definitely said.
Is Daisy desperate, drunk or dumb?? Or a combo of all three?
She maintains she did zero chiming in. Erin leaves the conversation, which is wise. Let these two fucking stooges haggle this out.
Jessel the fashion expert, accuses Erin of wearing Shein, when the desinger logo was right on the shirt.
