The various shifts are arriving to the villa in Florence.
These bitches have a tough life right?
Tilly keeps mentioning this boyfriend but no name, no tea, no nothing. The way she keeps saying “my boyfriend” seems like it’s new. And she didn’t mention him last season.
However, it’s not new. Far from it. I looked it up, and they’ve been together since 2004. He’s a fellow poker player which is how they met. His name is Phil Laake, and he’s fourteen years younger than she is. That’s not insane I guess.
I don’t know about this hat of Tilly’s.
Kyle needs the tea on Sutton’s ‘roommate’ and inquired in her usual gossipy way. She wants so badly for Sutton to say something bitchy about her.
Peanut gallery Bozo the Parrot chimes in and basically just repeats what everyone is saying in a different way. Does she have a mind of her own? She seems okay to be coming off as the white ladies’ posse. How is she okay with this?
******
I get it. Amanda’s a little weird. She’s very new money.
She doesn’t grasp how tacky she’s coming across with her brand-name drop comments, and pointing out SHE pays for everything, not her fiance, and father of her children.
This ‘I make in a year what he makes in a month’ bit is so beyond tasteless.
You would think someone who’s expertise (allegedly) is money and ‘the energy surrounding it’ or whatever, would realize this.
I got rambly. What I want to say is, despite all of that above, I still do not like how she’s being treated by these women. She’s being used as everyone’s story line.
And guess who will be last seat at the reunion? As opposed to Sutton, who’s desperately trying hard to give this ‘main character’ energy and what she’s really giving is desperate energy.
If these bitches were smarter, or production was smarter or if ANYONE was smarter, since they really want to fuck with this girl, why not point out what her issue actually is? Which is her perpetual bragging on herself.
Instead of ‘ohmiGod she said Dorit should stop bad mouthing PK!’ Amanda has has said so many cringe worthy comments that make her seem desperate to be liked and acknowledged. At least it would make sense.
They giggle about how Sutton just wants to take her down in her sleep.
Kyle in her yap, is so extremely put off that Sutton is trying to be nice to Amanda (which she really isn’t.)
I thought Amanda was her kind of sort of friend?
A minute ago, Kyle was defending her, and saying this pile-on over her brief commentary hardly seems necessary.
They assemble for dinner. Jennifer’s hat arrives.
I feel like she wants someone to ask about her boyfriend.
They’re at the point where they all check out and silently critique each other’s outfit while telling each other they look so pretty.
Erika is wearing pajamas as per usual. Boz looks ridiculous as per usual.
Rachel and Amanda are twinning in a similar Dolce print. Amanda seems like she almost asked Rachel if her dress was authentic Dolce.
Not sure, but she stopped herself, thank God.
Another story line of Kyle’s other than trying to get Amanda to freak out, is bitching about Dorit being late.
Erika physically goes upstairs to retrieve her and lets her know they’re all waiting.
Meanwhile, Amanda is getting harassed as to whether or not she’s “spoken with Dorit yet.”
You can tell that Amanda feels so uncomfortable and isn’t really enjoying herself. I feel kind of bad for her.
There is a surprise in store. What is it??
Why, an actual live Opera production.
Directly following the show, Amanda begs Dorit to speak to her one-on-one. Dorit comes up with about 37 excuses as to why she can’t chat with her for five damned minutes. It’s hilarious.
Amanda is so naive and silly to think Dorit would actually want to resolve this fake tiff. One might say it’s ‘scripted.’ Yes, I see that. It’s definitely scripted for the Mean Girl Brigade, but to me, Amanda seems not in on it, and visibly anxious and agitated over this.
Then she gets her puppet BOZO in cahoots with her telling her they’ll start eating without them, when they’re not even at the table yet. Sure, you’re going to miss your entire dinner if you take a few to sit down and talk. I hate to point out the obvious, but since when does she care about being late? I’m not wrong.
Dorit is so ridiculous and purposely making Amanda feel as uncomfortable as possible. Amanda is annoying, but in this instance, she’s not doing anything abnormal or wrong by simply wanting to have a conversation NOT in front of everyone. Am I crazy for thinking this is getting so ridiculous?
What are you afraid of Dorit, is what I’m thinking. Are you worried you can’t hold up your end of the conversation because you’re dumb, and your ‘issue’ is fake and total nonsense? And you know you’ll have your peanut gallery at the table?
Not sure when/why/how Sutton has deemed herself so feisty and confrontational.
Since she’s been a Housewife, she’s been the biggest wimp of them all. Now suddenly she’s so ballsy. I’m so confused.
This is the woman who faked a whole ass seizure at one of the reunions to avoid facing Kathy about whatever the hell Kathy had beef about. I still don’t know what the hell it was. Remember Kathy even commented after the ambulance left, that Sutton didn’t want to hear what she had to say. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something to that effect. I’ll have to look it up.
Do we think Amanda cares about some stupid ‘relationship’ with Dorit? I’m sure she doesn’t. I think she’s just tired of feeling awkward and anxious at every fucking get-together.
“Let’s have dinner, she went to a lot of trouble.”
Okay Dorit, number one, Boz didn’t cook the fucking dinner, and number two, Amanda wasn’t suggesting you miss dinner entirely. At all. There was time to talk before the food started arriving.
I just can’t with the stupidity. Like do Bozo and Dorit think viewers are that dumb? We can’t tell they’re in this fake little plan to torture the new girl? Because they think this is entertaining and interesting?
Dorit continues to be extremely condescending and dismissive as they head to the table.
Amanda looks so defeated. She knows since they didn’t smooth over the fake argument, that there was going to be a gang-up at dinner.
Page Six reported that PK and Dorit were spotted having a civilized dinner. Whoooooo carezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Kyle only brought it up so Dorit could get on her soap box about people ‘judging her’ and God forbid, give their opinion about a subject she won’t STFU about for two seconds.
And get on her soap box she does. She addresses Amanda as ‘certain people.’
I’m shook that Erika has some dude willing to date her. What is wrong with this guy? I did a quick search, and apparently they still may be together to date.
And a retired military guy? What? Thought those guys had common sense.
And the most shocking of all? He’s her age. He’s not 80.
As Tom so eloquently put it, let’s hope he can afford her.
So back to Dorit, because after all, for the past three seasons since the ‘robbery’, like it or not, seems like it’s been the PK and Dorit show.
The dinner was for establishing a schedule for the kids to be with PK. That’s of course a good thing.
Erika gets the convo going about Amanda, by announcing how she’s ‘surprised’ that she and Sutton are sharing a room. In their dreaded single beds.
I don’t care at all that they’re roommates. Does anyone? Do you care? Do you honestly care?
Amanda again tries to explain that Dorit doesn’t have the full context of what was said and how it was said.
Dorit goes right into cunty mode and keeps repeating the same fucking thing, that Amanda ‘doesn’t know her.’ Or whatever. It reminds me of the episode a few years back, when Tom’s theft and Erika’s embarrassing spending came to light. Kathy said about Erika – “I don’t know HER.”
Okay, so you don’t really have to KNOW someone to have a thought about how they’re handling a certain situation. She sounds like a fucking broken record with that.
Amanda is getting grilled and it’s an official pile-on as I predicted, as to what her thoughts are about Dorit talking about PK.
I’m getting almost nauseous having to talk about this STILL. It’s been made quite fucking clear has it not?
Let me help you out ladies. DON’T BAD MOUTH YOUR EX ON TV DURING A CONTENTIOUS SEPARATION, WHEN THERE IS A CUSTODY SITUATION INVOLVED!!!!
Why does Dorit keep fucking saying “you adopted Kyle’s opinion.” What in the fuuuuuck does that even mean? Is that a new way of saying you agreed with someone??
‘Adopting as your own’ implies that she was then running around repeating Kyle’s words to everyone. She wasn’t.
Dorit is making herself appear really fucking stupid.
Erika gets involved trying to keep this fake story line moving along, asking Dorit if it bothered her that Amanda said one thing to her face and another behind her back.
Kyle chimes in kind of nervous-like realizing ‘wait a minute that’s what I did too’ and says that means they’re concerned and supporting her.
It’s okay though, because Kyle was allowed to say it because they’re friends. Amanda was not allowed to agree with it because they’re not friends.
A normal person would see this as the other way around.
This unfortunately goes back and forth for longer.
Guys we need to face the fact that this is the whole season, and this is all we’re getting fed.
Show of hands – who would rather hear about Kyle and her lesbian lover???
Mrs. Hilton clocks in and says something that at first sounded solid and poignant, (for Kathy anyway) but really it was just fucking stupid. Kyle probably told her to say it.
The two statements she strung together are completely different. One I agree with, the other I don’t.
Also quick snarky comment about Kathy. Clearly she didn’t bring glam. Her hair and makeup– yikes. Especially the hair.
Kathy addresses Amanda directly and says “learn to read the room and know your place.”
Well that was rude.
SO – ‘read the room’ – yes Amanda definitely needs to learn to do that. I addressed that earlier. That falls into her constant flexing about her accomplishments. Knowing what to say, and not to say to a group, she does need to work on.
But ‘know your place?’ You don’t say that to someone. Kathy was really bitchy to say this.
This isn’t ‘Lord of the Flies’ – it’s Housewives. There’s no ‘place.’ Kathy needs to go back to saying things like “who was Hunky Dory?” So much more her speed.
Know YOUR place, Kathy. Stick to Hunky Dory and claiming you’re Chinese.
Amanda had every right to agree with Kyle. Every woman with a brain agreed with Kyle. We all agreed with her. Is Dorit mad at us too??
Love how Erika refers to Kathy as “beautifully put together” in her Bride of Frankenstein meets Morticia yap, when Kathy looks more like a frazzled Housewife that hasn’t showered in a week.
Erika clearly just wants to be up Kathy’s asshole for reasons I don’t need to explain.
Who is this Natalie again and why is she here??
Kyle pretends to be a peacemaker of sorts, and asks Dorit what she needs from Amanda in order to move on.
Dorit isn’t taking the hint that this is a good time to just say she needs an apology, so that Amanda can apologize, and we can MOVE THE HELL ON.
She claims she needs nothing from Amanda when she’s asked several times.
So I assume this is now getting dropped then right?
Amanda asks Dorit why she brought up her cult experience and why she would’ve done an online deep-dive on her.
Kathy again chimes in.
What is Kathy so mad at Amanda about?? What skin in the game does she have here? None. She doesn’t need this paycheck, and 99% of the time, she’s in lala land. Tonight she’s all of a sudden alert and rarin’ to go after a thirteen hour flight.
Rachel seems to be still grappling with what a cult even is. I guess she doesn’t know about Google.
Yes, Rachel, it’s serious. FFS woman.
Amanda should really seize this opportunity to discuss the cult. I’ve never been so excited to hear about a cult in my life.
We already know the highlights from her conversation with Erika. She retells the story with maybe a few more details, then announces she thinks she’s going to write a book about her experience.
This is the ‘read the room’ thing. Now she’s lost them. Now they feel like she’s dangling her book-writing talent, and they feel threatened that she’s smart.
Boz feels the need to literally laugh out loud at that. In a very rude and bitchy way of course.
******
Next morning. They’re still in jammies, and already a really bizarre scene.
Kyle and Sutton gang up on Amanda, very Regina George style and try so hard to get her riled up about Dorit.
Kyle keeps professing to be Dorit’s friend, and looking out for her best interests, however she’s now here telling Amanda she should be SOOOOO mad at Dorit for bringing up the cult thing back in LA. Kyle wants her to go at Dorit for ‘judging her’ for being in a cult whilst complaining that Amanda was judging.
This totally reminds me of the Mean Girls scene where Regina tries to get Cady all pissed off at Gretchen for saying something about her. Cady’s just like “whatever I don’t care.”
Except Mean Girls is first of all a movie (a comedy) and the girls are sixteen. This is supposedly real life and these bitches are old.
Are you following this bullshit? Kyle seems really cranked up for some reason. She just went for a run, on the property of an Italian villa, on a gorgeous summer morning, and she’s this fucking pissed off? Her body language is insanely hostile.
I thought there was some endorphin release with exercise that’s supposed to make you happy??
The best part is when Amanda just isn’t biting, and opens her laptop, and Kyle and Sutton storm away all fucking pissed and muttering to themselves.
Kyle makes her exit waddling away with a leaf stuck to her ass.
Now THAT was funny.
******
Rachel wakes up pissed that her kid told her that her ex has discussed the dreaded new girlfriend (that he cheated on her with) with her younger son. The older one was at a friend’s.
I’m assuming he wanted to have this convo behind her back because he of course wants to bring her around them. Since he’s a dude, he just cannot fathom how it’s just not appropriate yet.
Listen, I get it, I do, believe me I do, but this just isn’t a the battle she needs to fight right now.
Did you know the girlfriend is also a stylist? Isn’t that funny? She even resembled Rachel, so she dyed her hair dark.
