Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Reunion Part 1

Well here we go. Make sure you looked at my Fashion Edition recap! It’s pretty funny!

They’re still sticking with the over the top tacky backdrops and props, I see.

They arrive at 6:30 am. Is it really necessary to start the taping so early?

Andy goes to the trailers to harass the ladies, because you know that’s what he does. (I do have to dig into all of this law suit scandal at some point with him, Leah and Brandi) He teases Kyle that Mario is joining. You know, didn’t they used to always have the husbands join at the end? They don’t do that anymore, except for Jersey.

Dorit tells Erika she’s been hurt that Kyle has been publicly downplaying their friendship. She shares with her a text where Kyle tried to ‘silence her’ about what’s been going on between them, or not going on.

To be honest, Kyle shouldn’t be trying to manipulate the situation and persuading her as to what to say or not to say. She sends her this encyclopedia text, telling her how important she is to her, however, don’t forget, they’re not that good of friends. She sends this message after not hearing from her in months. I might be taking Dorito’s side here, which pains me.

Kyle doesn’t want her to bring up Mario or Morgan, is what it kind of sounds like to me. You can see at the end of the message she claims she wants to stop doing the show, because it’s become toxic. The Housewives in general have gotten rather dark in recent years, and it doesn’t need to be like this, however I can’t see Kyle ever leaving. Is she trying to be funny??

But having said that, if Kyle didn’t want to share her marital problems, separation from Mario, and new lesbian relationship on the show, she should have opted out.

Kinda weird how she dangled Morgan around, definitely acted pretty flirty, took off her rings, dropped hints that she may be into women, but gets annoyed that she was being questioned. This woman can’t be serious.

And Erika, what a great friend you are! You want Kyle ‘eviscerated??’ How does she even know that word? Did one of Tom’s ‘smart’ friends teach her that?

And does she think Kyle being tight-lipped about her separation from Mario, and Erika being involved in a massive conspiracy, theft, and money laundering scam is the same thing? (yes involved– she was given, and benefited from stolen funds, which makes her involved. I’m tired of explaining that to people)

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As they assemble, Dorit is outside getting sewn into her dress, or whatever thing you call what she’s wearing. She just stands there, without a care, nonchalantly drinking from her water bottle, knowing she made everyone wait almost two hours for her. That’s Dorit.

Erika looks like she’s waiting until the last second to sit, since her dress looks stiff and uncomfortable to sit in, which is the style that she always tends to wear.

Andy does actually seem pissed off. When she makes her grand entrance, you can tell he’s trying so hard to look impressed with her look, and he’s so not.

The fact that no one said ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ blows me away. She’s going to be speaking in ‘bullet points?’ No idea what that means. Is that one of her languages?

Remarkably, Kyle acts completely unbothered by Erika’s public comment that she be ‘eviscerated.’ Sure, that’s a lovely and completely harmless comment, Kyle.

Yet she’s pissed at Dorit for merely asking about Mario on camera. What the fuck?

What the hell is it that Erika is holding over Kyle’s head?? Because it has to be something.

Her feelings were hurt for ‘a minute’ but Erika has been such an amazing, loyal and totally awesome friend, that she can look past it.

Even with all of the horrible, vile and sickening shit that comes out of this broad’s mouth?? Kyle claims the comment didn’t really seem to be about her. Girl. The comment WAS precisely about you.

Dorit looks immediately annoyed.

Erika and Kyle proceed to practically make out on the couch, as Erika tells her how ‘totally rad and awesome’ she is too.

That was nauseating.

Dorit goes into how she’s upset about Kyle’s stating they are only friends for the purpose of the show, and that’s really the only time they hang out or communicate.

But then she says Dorit shouldn’t have asked her about Mo since they ARE good friends… But I thought they weren’t good friends?? So confused.

She’s also mad that Dorit said on WWHL that she felt replaced by Morgan.

They bicker back and forth, with Erika between them looking awkward. But you know she cannot move. Literally, she can’t move but also, it’s second seat dammit!!

She’s worried about what was being said in the media about Morgan, and blaming it on Dorit, when she had been gallivanting around with her for months, being photographed everywhere, and posting a shit ton of pictures on social media. What in the hell Kyle?? This is like ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ situation. Dorit points that out to her, and she quickly changes the subject.

She addresses the long text message, and I don’t think Kyle expected that she would do, because she seems a little taken aback, and again changes the subject.

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Now it’s Garcelle vs Dorit. I do believe Dorit is racist. Of course she’s going to say she’s not. Racist people don’t fucking say they’re racist. Her comments and attitude towards Garcelle SHOW that she’s racist. I wish Garcelle would be more specific about some of the actual occurrences, and things she has said, and stop focusing on the ‘attack’ comment, and ‘you can’t say attack because I’m black.’ That’s where she’s losing people. There were many instances throughout Garcelle’s time on the show when Dorit got agitated with Garcelle for no reason, whatsoever. This latest incident where she used ‘attack’ is an example of that.

So for me, it wasn’t so much that one word, but her overall tone she uses with Garcelle, is just – different.

Annemarie, shut up. I’m not even going into her contribution to that conversation.

Now it’s her turn to address her stupidity. That 8.5 spiel is so embarrassing.

And she was so excited to deliver that, in the moment. She looks embarrassed as she watches it back.

What’s more disturbing is that her husband actually says that to her. I know 8.5 is a high score, but just the fact that he’s scoring her, and telling her she’s ‘not a 10’ in looks, athletic ability, etc is so fucked up. I see divorce on the horizon.

Not the CRNA thing. Well, we did know it was coming. You know, I do think she told Crystal she was a doctor. I listened to her in an interview recently where she carries on about CRNA’s being ‘practically’ doctors, because of all of the schooling and training that they require, or something like that.

I don’t feel sorry for her as she cries about the backlash she received from her idiotic behavior towards Sutton, and her complete obsession, and more importantly, incorrect diagnosis (by saying the condition is non-existent) of her health issue.

And I know goddamned full well Kyle put her up to that shit. She wanted her to exploit Sutton for having an eating disorder. Why? For no other reason than to just embarrass her for fun, and have others do her dirty work, that she’s too much of a coward to do herself. I have no respect this woman.

And it’s astounding to me because Kyle also claims to have experienced an eating disorder when she was younger. She claims.

And look at her. She looks guilty AF as Annemarie is crying and feeling humiliated. She needs to suck it up, because as this highly intelligent medical professional that she claims to be, she should have fucking known better.

Kyle actually hates Sutton, but pretends to be her friend. She pretends they’re close, and have a rapport, due to the ‘keep your enemies closer’ thing. I think she hates her, because she’s jealous, which is a common reason for hatred in adults, towards someone who’s never done one bad thing to you.

She wants to be genuine and caring towards others, like Sutton, but she’s not, and she never will be. She’s a salty and bitter bitch that was raised by the bitchy town ho, that used her daughters for profit, so she could spend her days drinking and chasing rich men. She also feels like she never measured up to Kim, acting-wise, and Kim was prettier, if you look at photos of them as teens, so that’s why she tried to exploit her in years past. What a nice lady!

Now for Crystal and Annemarie to dive in. They just don’t like each other, and that’s okay. My take on their differences, is that I think Crystal did say that shit to her about the women being not very bright and pretend socialites. It’s something she would say, and it’s not inaccurate.

And I think Annmarie DID try to make it seem like she was an anesthesiologist, until Crystal said her half-sister (never knew she had a half-sister) WAS one, so she knew she had to come clean and back-pedal.

Annemarie was the one that said she thinks Sutton has an eating disorder, that night when she would not shut the fuck up about it. She said that is probably causing her esophagus issue. I’m paraphrasing, but that was her point, to insinuate she vomits a lot and may be bulimic.

Why aren’t they rolling the footage of Annemaire telling Crystal and Garcelle that Sutton has an eating disorder, as she sits there and says she didn’t say it. She DID fucking say it!!

Why do they keep saying ‘people don’t know the difference’ between a fucking doctor and a nurse. Pretty sure people DO know the difference. Such a weird thing to say.

Andy asked why Sutton’s health issue seemed to bother her so much. She said it sounded ‘odd’ (thought she poured over encyclopedias all night to find that no such condition exists?) and watching it back she realized she was out of line and acting a fucking fool.

Ya think??

I would love for her to admit that Kyle put her up to it. But as per the uzse, everyone has their goddamned tongue up Kyle’s fucking asshole.

She apologizes and Sutton accepts.

Oh and whooda thunk Annemarie NOT A DOCTOR, clearly, that a lot of viewers have been speaking out, that they also suffer from her condition? Yet this goofy bitch was up all night, unable to find any such existence. Can’t make this shit up. I can’t imagine she would even want to come back next season.

This woman needs to have her license revoked. She doesn’t even sound qualified to clean bedpans. Sutton’s being a little too quick to excuse her behavior in my opinion.

Kyle cannot stop talking about LVP. It’s hilarious. It’s coming off as kind of obsessed, Kyle. AS IF she doesn’t know I’m still on. AS IF.

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I guess if we suddenly see Crystal weighing 110, looking like stick, we’ll know she finally caved, and jumped on the Ozempic train.

Honestly, there is nothing wrong with her body or her shape, at all. She should stop being so self-conscious. She’s not a tiny girl. But she’s also not overweight.

Annemarie is deflecting, and brings up some of Crystal’s past untruths and embellishments. Okay, so they’re both fucking liars and truth-benders. Fine.

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Red Riding Hood thinks she’s the only one sitting on the couches that holds a college degree, other than Annemarie, Sutton, and Crystal. And what’s hers in? Oh fashion merchandising. And she wants to sit here and act like the smartest one in the room? This woman can’t be serious. By the way, how are her fashion businesses going? Not going. That’s what I thought.

This woman is so painfully unaware of what is coming out of her pie hole. And since when is 24 an outlandish age to get married at?

Crystal did graduate from college, so her ‘point’ was not even a point. She just made herself look stupid. Dorit puts her foot in her mouth like no other.

And just to further prove her stupidity, she compares her to Priscilla Presley for whatever reason. Unless she thinks Rob reminds her of a nerdy Elvis? Who knows, it’s Dorito.

How come we never hear about Crystal’s coconut water company? It’s like Housewives just mention shit like this, in passing. Oh, by the way, you see me lounging around, looking like I haven’t a care, but I own and run a one-hundred-million dollar company.

Does she have any day to day type activity that she does, that we could see on the show, since isn’t it meant to be about their lives and daily activities? I find it hard to believe she has this ‘hundred million dollar’ company and does nothing all day to maintain it. I did a quick search and it’s called ‘Real Coco’ that she co-founded with her brother ‘years ago.’ Seems sketchy. Her involvement sounds non-existent. Seems like there’s a little more to the story. Perhaps she’s embellishing somewhat. Imagine that!! My two cents is that Rob put up the money for Crystal and her brother to buy this company, and have people running it, and do nothing. ‘Built a hundred million company’ my ass. She didn’t build shit.

Why do we keep sort of ‘dragging’ Kyle for not drinking and for working out? As if those are bad things? She does look great, I’m forced to admit, and I for one, was LOVING the sobriety this season. No fucking pony tail twirling and splits and wiping her vag across the dance floor. Not to mention her aggressiveness towards Sutton last season when she was three fucking sheets to the wind. Didn’t miss any of it.

And these fucking tattoos. They’re hardly even worth the discussion are they? Okay, so there are five of them. FIVE! OMFG!! WHAT??

They’re teeny tiny black lettering that NO ONE sees unless she points them out. Which she does, believe me. WHO CARES! Everyone gets tattoos, Kyle.

That opening scene this season where she was acting like a spoiled teenager, bragging about them to Mario, as he was scolding her, was excruciating to watch of a fifty-something year-old woman.

As we wrap this up, Kyle is addressing the ‘rift’ between her and Dorit, again. So we start talking about Kathy, and that being an issue last year, when I guess Dorit sort of took Kathy’s side at the reunion, which I doubt anyone remembered, but whatever. Here we are.

I think Andy just wants an excuse to have Kathy here. As we know, she is going to be making an appearance. I guess for the sole purpose that Andy is obsessed with her.

In what Housewife unusual atmospheric conditions, has there been someone at the reunion that made not one appearance on the season? I am going to go out on a limb, and just say never.

Poor Erika stuck sitting in her uncomfortable hideous dress, staring into space as Dorito and Kyle again go at it, this time about Kathy.

They start talking in riddles, and keep saying “oh there was THAT OTHER thing, but I’m not going to get into that here.”

What the fuck?

She thinks Dorit does whatever the viewers think she should do, or some fucking shit.

Kyle keeps contradicting herself, in her grievances with Dorit. A minute ago, she said they weren’t really even friends, just co-workers who are paid to pretend to be friends.

So, riddle me this – why is any of this even relevant?? Why are we even sitting her watching this and giving a shit?

Good question.