BDSY 4/10/23 (premiere) & 4/17/23

Okay here we go — brand new season of Sailing Yacht!! Are we sure we’re ready for all of the girls on board (including Daisy, she showed some signs of crushing on him last season) to be fighting and clawing for the attention of the illustrious Gary King?? I’m not sure I am.

The best news is that Trashley Whatever the Hell Her Name Is, will NOT be returning. What a freaking embarrassment to all of womankind is that girl. She set such a bad example for younger girls watching last season. I’m not a prude, I get it, they hook up. That girl was just all together cracra.

So we’re already not short of drama. (actually his absence is probably less drama) Our beloved Gary, the ‘other’ Stud of the Sea, is not yet on board because he keeps testing positive for covid, and is not allowed to film. Not sure if that’s a Bravo thing, or a Yacht thing. Probably a Bravo thing. We know where AC stands on all of this BS, with the brainwashed yes-man people.

He doesn’t seem ill on the phone and claims to be feeling fine. Don’t even get me started. I don’t get why they aren’t random testing for other diseases and viruses, like chicken pox, measles, the flu, AIDS, etc. The list goes on and on of contagious viruses. (I’m sure he was forced to get vaccinated twelve times, so why the testing?) How is covid any different, other than it’s a lot less serious, than those other illnesses? We don’t know. Nobody knows. Nobody can answer that and sound intelligent.

And not to be outdone by Gary’s non-covid drama, there is also some sort of mechanical issue with the engine on the boat, and it cannot leave the dock. I assume when the guests sign all of their agreements and documents, and pay up to charter these yachts, there must be some fine print that outlines if there is a weather issue, or any type of other problem that the boat can’t do it’s boat thing, they don’t receive a refund. It’s like – tough titties! You do still get to hang on the boat, be a complete slob and a pain in the ass while eating five star meals and chugging top shelf alcohol non-stop, so still kind of a win.

And hey, single girls, Colin in finally single!! Maybe he’ll have a chick on board that gets his attention for a change. Or not. It seems like he really does always seem to try to stay out of the drama. But that may have been because he was always attached in previous seasons.

Daisy makes both stews ‘Junior Stews’ after the horrific theatrics that was Trashley last season because she COULD NOT – I MEAN, COULD NOT, stand the fact that she was a third stew, and had tantrums, hissy fits and refused to take direction from Gabriella. When she wasn’t doing that, she was begging Gary to fuck her, and showing everyone her humongous tits. Somehow, this girl managed to be a decent stew though, I will say that. Not like it’s hard, as in difficult, but it does require a certain amount of work ethic, and organization. Please don’t tell anyone I said something nice about Trashley. (If you want to call the fact that she was capable of scrubbing a toilet and doing laundry

******

The boat needs a “full rebuild kit” they’re calling it, to repair the trouble, damage, whatever is going on, so the boat can get off the dock. The guests are a gaggle of girls, and this news will not go over well that it looks like they’re stationary yet again.

These bitches are fucking slobs.

I’m sorry to be repetitive, because I think there were some fucking nasty bitches on regular Below Deck this season, but why would you want people that you’re interacting with all day, to see that you’re disgusting, gross, and too lazy to even pick your clothes up off of the floor? What do their houses look like?

Even if there were different stews that exclusively cleaned, why would you still, on this bougie fucking yacht vacay, want to project yourself as some kind of lazy piece of shit, that can’t even do basic things like pick your shit up off of the floor. The stews’ jobs are to change the bedding, vacuum, basic cleaning and tidying, fresh towels, things like that. Not clean up your fucking period blood, and dirty clothes strewn all over the place. Fucking gross. Aren’t they embarrassed?

And on top of all of that, they know this is all being filmed, and a million people will be seeing it. I think that is an accurate estimate of viewers. Some bored Karen bitch called me out on a chat group when I said ‘10 million people’ one time, in reference to the Bravo viewers per night, which I knew was as exaggeration. It’s called sarcasm. I’m sometimes shocked at how many Bravo viewers can’t follow that. “Actually the shows only get closer to one million viewers per show…” I was like, wow bitch, bored much?? Clearly she googled it. Why are people like that even on those chat groups? Can they try googling sarcasm or a sense of humor? Can you imagine hating your life that much?

Okay, back to the show. I had to get that off of my chest. Some miserable bitch recently googled ‘mistress’ in reference to a post I made about Vanderpump. What a dick. Okay, now I’m really done.

Glenn breaks it to the ladies that they’re going to be sticking to land again, however they can go to a nearby beach. He’s desperately trying to locate these parts on the kit or whatever.

Colin is on it, looking at a ‘Plan B’ so I’m not worried. Who would be worried? Colin is such a bad ass.

The ladies head for the beach. They’re trying to be nice, about all of this, but you can sort of tell they’re ready to explode. And like one of the ladies points out later, why wouldn’t this all have been checked to insure the vessel was in working order? Isn’t that like, I don’t know, on the checklist?

Make sure the boat works??

They bitch about trash bags being left in their room, which is a legit complaint. With this being the first charter and both of these stews being greenish, Daisy really should be behind them checking on everything. There’s really no excuse. The guests being unhappy with housekeeping at the end of the episode really does fall on Daisy. I like her as a chief stew, in the way that she’s not a fucking evil tyrant like you-know-who, and tries to be fair and pleasant, but I think her chief stew duties are lacking sometimes.

There is an ice emergency as they leave for the beach. Daisy assures them that it’s in one of the coolers, but typical dudes cannot for the life of them locate it, until Daisy runs her ass all the way out to the dock and points it out.

The ice wouldn’t be in the cooler would it??

Glenn sorta blew his stack over that, but I think it had more to do with his frustration over the engine trouble. This isn’t really my lane, but perhaps he shoulda checked this out before guests were on board?

And not to split hairs and pick on Glenn, but he wasted more time and caused an unnecessary scene in front of the guests when he could’ve just listened to Daisy. And it was in the cooler. Strange place for ice.

The guests complain about the boat not working. You can kind of see their point. This is an expensive vacay to just frolick around a beach. Especially when you live in Florida.

Coulda stayed in Florida for this shit!!!

Meanwhile, our Super Badass Colin is working away on that engine.

******

Do we love this new chef?? She’s so cute and seems to know what she’s doing. I love me a female chef!

And then it happens — Colin gets the engine going! I never doubted him for a second!

Am I getting a raise ??

And by the way, who misses Gary? I don’t. Anyone wanna take bets on the fact that both new stews will be all googly eyed over him? It’s getting a little ridiculous.

So back to these guests, and what fucking slobs they are. Madison or Lucy, I keep getting them confused because they look alike, is cleaning their rooms and there is blood all over the carpet and sheets. I mean, like WOW – how fucking repulsive are these broads? I don’t even feel sorry for them anymore about the broken boat. There is no excuse for that. Assuming it’s period blood, it’s a fact of life, I get it, but it’s not like these bitches are 13 and just got their periods. Manage that shit, especially when you are not at home and someone else has to clean up after your dumb ass.

The two new stews, they both actually seem sweet and I almost want to say, normal?? There’s no insane Trashley or Camille types. They both seem like they care about doing a good job, and neither have begged the dudes to fuck her yet.

We’ll see if there’s some friction when one of them goes for Gary, and Daisy gets jealous and ticked off, like she did with that Scarlet chick.

The ladies get ready to leave and send “the most outspoken one” to bitch at Glenn. She starts to cry about not having bath mats and toilet paper. Not to mention, they never got to leave the dock. Did she even mention that? Guess she was more ticked off about the toilet paper.

Not leaving the dock wasn’t nearly as disappointing as not having toilet paper!

I have a hard time believing they even care about bath mats and TP given what huge slobs they are. At any rate, telling Glenn this was the worst vacation of her life is a really bad reflection on him.

Tipping time and they actually add more cash, even though they were pissed off about the bath mat and TP sitch. I guess that was admirable.

Glenn sits Daisy down about the housekeeping issues and he takes it pretty easy on her. I just think with the fact that they couldn’t leave the dock, Daisy could have been more ON IT to make sure everything else was flawless.

She tells Glenn that there was a lot of alcohol consumed, (when isn’t there?) so maybe they were confused about the toilet paper? He accuses her of being defensive, which I agree with. She doesn’t take constructive criticism well, I’ve noticed. She can’t seem to take responsibility for anything. She did this last season with the Gabriella and Trashley thing. Doubt the chick would fabricate that there wasn’t toilet paper. These ladies just got a double whammy of bad luck with the busted engine, and being the very first charter with two new stews. Oh well. Shit happens. No pun intended.

Missing TP, towels, bath mats ?? Not my fault. Why don’t you focus on the engine Bro??

******

First crew night out, and this is usually when the magic happens. Everyone chooses their partner, or who they hope to be their partner. Same story, the dudes just want to get banged, and the girls want to drive off into the sunset and have their babies.

Madison sits by Colin at dinner, and I’m thinking they make the cutest couple ever. Please tell me she does not go for Gary.

Daisy may be going for one of the deckies. She commented in her yap that she CANNOT hook up with a ‘Junior Deckhand.’ Like it’s beneath her or something. Calm down there Daisy, you’re not a surgeon, basically you’re a glorified maid. They ‘make out’ in the hot tub.

And so it begins – the hot tubbing, drinking and making out begins. Everyone is making out with everyone – even the girls are lovin on each other, and there’s some throuple action.

Daisy is shitFACED.

Looks like according to previews, we’re graced with Gary’s presence next week. Since he’s over not having ‘covid.’ What a joke.

This should shake things up a bit! I have a feeling the whole vibe will be changing.

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