Whitney’s opening convo with Justin sounds rehearsed.
Whitney voice: “One of my favorite things I like to do with friends and people I love is share wine and eat good food, and bring peace back to the world.”
Justin pretends to be interested as she complains about the last event and the typical Housewife explosions
She’s hosting some kumbaya wine tasting event.
I think we can live without her singing for the rest of our lives.
Mary is acting very Mary and complaining how the wine estate has bad juju because a guy killed himself and his wife on the property.
Okay maybe she has a point. I guess she’s not just being Mary.
Did Angie get the floral springy memo? Because she’s in leopard.
Don’t mean to state the obvious, but Meredith looks ridiculous. She didn’t get the memo either. She thought it said slutty astronaut attire day. Bronwyn looks almost equally as ridiculous.
These Salt Lake girls think they’re being all ‘avant garde’ but they actually look costumey and stupid most of the time.
Lisa arrives making an entrance dressed normally at least with what appears to be an envelope of ‘receipts’ in tow.
They flash on the scene where (I did forget) Angie informed Meredith how Lisa had been encouraging her to ‘dig up dirt’ on Meredith and her family.
Never heard Whitney admit that the sex scene with Justin that was aired around three years ago, and her general Housewife behavior, is what caused Justin to lose his job.
Her rationale is kind of strange though.
Because she failed at her business ventures, and was trying to be someone she’s not (mature adult) she’s going to go back to acting like a sex-crazed drunken lunatic.
If I understood her correctly…
She’s having a psychic reading at this ‘drink wine and act like Whitney’ event.
There’s always a Debbie Downer when it comes to psychics, that can’t just have fun with it. That would unsurprisingly be Mary, who is not very merry, ever.
We’ve had mixed results with Housewife psychics. Can we all agree on that one?
Seems like they’re either one extreme or the other. They’re either legit and make an accurate prediction or analysis, such as Kyle on Beverly Hills being told Mauricio will lose interest in her when her kids are older, Ramona on RHONY being told Mario is cheating, and the OC ladies being told Vickie’s love-interest Brooks was faking cancer.
They either hit the nail on the head or they’re complete and total frauds that simply repeat what they’re told to say. I think there was a Jersey episode like that and few others I can’t recall.
Meredith didn’t think there were any wineries in the entire state of Utah? I can’t with these dumb bitches. I just can’t deal with it. Then again Meredith only lives in Utah March -May when they’re filming.
Is Utah KNOWN for wine? No. but I would be under the assumption there are a few wineries.
Even though it’s Utah.
I don’t think the wine lady knows what ‘tar tar’ means when Mary asked that about the salmon. No it’s not raw fucking salmon, moron, it’s smoked.
We learn that Angie is trying to sell her house. That’s usually not a good sign when they have an amazing house like she does.
Might mean money problems, or not. But probably.
Britani glances at the listing, who is a Realtor which I’m not sure I knew, and probably doesn’t matter, announces it’s over priced and has been listed for almost a year.
They literally if you can believe it, argue over which zip in Utah is the ‘richest?’
You knew Lisa was going to get in there with her Valley Girl twang on this topic.
I’m so tired of listening to the dysfunction that is Britani and Lurch.
For fucks sake he had some fake convo they flash on with Justin (as if Justin is friends with this dude) bragging about how much money he spends on her and wondering if he’s being used.
Britani doesn’t think she counts as a gold digger just because he pays for dinners and buys her clothes and purses…
Isn’t that kind of how the gold digging starts?
I’ll have to check with my ex-husband on that. Yeah you heard me. A DUDE that gold digs for a chick with a nice big ugly shit-stained house for him to live in that he can pretend is his. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Embarrassing. Everyone knows that’s why he’s with her. Everyone but her.
Ironically the wind starts picking up as Britani proceeds to ramble about Lurch, blowing over all of Whitney’s flower arrangements. Britani keeps droning on.
God wants her to dump this circus freak once and for all and be DONE. Choosing a man over your children is SICK.
Choosing a lying ugly miserable bitch you’re USING to live in a shit house, both of you posing to be people you’re NOT, over your own daughter is SICK AND DEMENTED. AND DISGUSTING.
Back to this. Britani goes off to meet with the psychic. Or an actor pretending to be a psychic. We don’t know yet.
Meredith addresses her ‘concerns’ which are Lisa, and the accusations that Angie made. Of course Lisa denies it.
Meanwhile the psychic of course knows about the daughters issue with Britani. It was on the show last season, and pretends to magically and telepathically know this.
And she’ so dumb she yammers in her yap, how she’s shocked that he knows this.
Back to Lisa and Angie. I believe Angie, that Lisa did say this shit to her.
Do you like how Lisa tries to deflect and change the topic to bitching how dare Angie mention ‘her kids?’
When all Angie did in regards to ‘the kids’ is ask why she’s not promoting the brand she started on their behalf.
Then Meredith: “Noooooo not the kids!!”
Then don’t have them on the show you dumb bimbos!!
They’re allowed to be mentioned, but you allow them to be filmed and even use them as part of your ‘story line.’
Lisa swears on GOD (at least not on her kids’ life like they usually do) that she said none of this to Angie about ‘taking down Meredith.’
That whole thing was off. Even while Meredith appeared to be mad at Lisa she kept low-key sticking up for her. Lisa kept repeating “thank you thank you…” like you do when someone robotically agrees with whatever bullshit you’re spewing just to kiss your ass.
Angie and Lisa bicker about ‘the product.’
Her ‘kid’s’ supposed product that cannot be mentioned according to Lisa.
That was a whole fucking story line that season, but now we’re not allowed to talk about it because it has to do with her sons, both of which have appeared on the show – numerous times.
I can’t with the fucking nonsense.
Bronwyn’s turn to see the psychic and he ‘knows’ about her mom’s tumor and tells her there may be other health issues that are being ignored.
I wonder if he can detect her other issue of being a fucking bitter nasty ugly bitch with no heart or soul. Like someone else I know.
Is he really giving that hag accolades and referring to her as her “biggest supporter?”
Meanwhile we’re still outside yelling about things that have no fucking value in life.
Such as Angie ‘borrowing’ someone’s credit card for a vacation.
She then proceeds to throw six ‘black’ AMEX’s at Lisa yelling how she can buy whatever she wants. Also a Prada bracelet that acts like a credit card. Who knew?
I get the point she’s trying to make, but having a lot of cards isn’t necessarily a flex. It may mean you have a lot of credit card debt. And they are selling their house.
Having said that, I noticed Lisa did indeed look at the card thrown at her to make sure it was legit, as she’s claiming “that’s not a flex!”
It’s funny how Lisa disapproves of this boasting and pretentious rhetoric, however it’s okay when she wants to brag how she does ‘big things’ and no one leads the fabulous life that she leads.
Lisa seems at a loss when her bad face lift gets called out, so she calls Angie ‘shorty.’ I’m petite and literally have never been called ‘shorty’ in my adulthood.
Sit the fuck down Lisa, being petite as a woman is far from a bad thing.
Bronwyn returns to the table crying after hearing her mean ass ‘Goonies Mom’ mom may still be sick.
I’d actually rather continue listening to Angie and Lisa scream at each other than hear her crying over that horrible lady.
Be careful what you wish for. Everyone ignores Bronwyn sobbing, and Lisa and Angie keep insulting each other.
Lisa claims she doesn’t shop at Nordstrom and Angie snaps back “your boyfriend does.”
Wouldn’t mind a little elab on that one Angie.
I care more about that, then your stupid black cards, which Lisa definitely did seem jealous of.
Apparently there’s a $10,000 fee just to obtain one, and a $5,000 annual fee, so I would say if you can afford that, then having three of them might be a little bit of a flex.
What’s the soup guy thing? You notice Lisa didn’t really deny she has a boyfriend, she just pointed out Angie may also have one.
Only on Housewives.
Can we all agree they both have boyfriends, and are sketchy with their businesses, have some more wine, and call it a fucking day?
Lisa has her reading.
Must be some trouble in paradise in her oh-so-perfect marriage.
Terrence tells her they need to communicate better. She immediately starts crying. Maybe this guy is the real deal, because he certainly wouldn’t know this from the show. She would never admit they’re not getting along.
Maybe he picked up on the subtle digs last season like I did. Or production gave a heads up due to some unaired scenes they flash on of them bickering.
I did notice that John seemed to get pissy with her last season. You do have to admit she’s a lot to take. I feel like he’s over it.
He goes on to say they’re on different paths, and there is a lot of ‘angst and frustration’ in the marriage. LISA LOOKS PISSED!!
You can tell, despite the sunglasses she immediately puts on, that she’s very uncomfortable with him calling this out.
She starts fidgeting, moving her purse, smoothing her hair, crossing her arms. She has to be so mad right now.
She also isn’t loving being asked about this scene in her yap, so she keeps stalling.
She does admit they’re not agreeing on much lately. They show a flash of them discussing Jack getting his own place when he gets back from his mission. Lisa says he shouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to move out. I feel like when he gets back he will listen to NOTHING that Lisa says.
She’s a control freak and I’m sure John is sick of it.
Angie’s reading turn, and the psychic seems to know she’s in the process of developing a product, which she claims she is. Sunglasses.
When Lisa gets asked about her reading, she mentions John, but doesn’t elaborate. She simply can’t say something like ‘yeah we’ve been not seeing eye to eye and he picked up on that, and gave some advice.’
No one would think that is abnormal, and they would all most likely be empathetic. And yes possibly enjoy it a little.
Especially given how long they’ve been together. Of course John is probably reaching a breaking point. Their kids are older, one is not at home anymore, so John is probably needing to be around her more, and I’m sure it’s difficult.
She makes up some bullshit about what a loving and giving person Terrence said she was.
This woman is fucking NUTS.
Mary: “HE SAID THAT??”
Lisa: “I’m paraphrasing.” She starts feverishly smoothing her hair, as she does when she’s anxious, and/or making shit up.
Mary’s dumber than a rock and she even knew that was crap load of horseshit.
Lisa and Angie simply cannot sit across from each other without screaming and slinging insults. It’s getting boring.
I just noticed Lisa looks like she’s wearing pajamas.
What is Angie doing? She has a plastic bin from Walmart full of shit Lisa gave her over the years.
Apparently no one likes Vida Tequila.
Whitney’s reading. I feel like hers is completely produced and rehearsed so we should probably just ignore it.
I wonder if he’ll tell to keep acting like a child, and she doesn’t actually have to bother adulting, since she’s so sexy, and because she failed at her pretend businesses she pretended to run.
Literally tired of hearing her talk about ‘the failure.’ Clearly this is her schtick this season.
Oh and what a coincidence!! He tells her she needs to be herself, authentically!!
Same shit she was ranting in her yap.
Hey the book! She needs the book!! Christmas IS coming!! LOL!!!
I know someone who LOVES to give how-to books as GIFTS, which ANY moron knows is a fucking passive aggressive douchey cunty move. FUCKING DUHHH. THAT’S YOUR BITTER BEER FACE BITCH!! YOU WANTED HER, YOU GOT HER! Chug some vodka before you crawl into bed tonight. Please. I don’t know how else you get through it.
But hey the shit house is SO worth it!! Isn’t everyone impressed when you say you live there? Fucking stupid little twerp, you look foolish. That cop didn’t even show up because he didn’t want to defend your sketchy cheating deceitful fucking ass. He asked around, and knows you’re a shithead who abuses and uses women and
Back to this. Yes Whitney it’s admirable you can admit your failed but at the same time, we’re already bored and we’re only ** eps in. We get it.
She admits in her yap she needed Justin’s involvement, for help I assume, but he wasn’t interested. So is she blaming him it failed? Is she kind of throwing him under the bus here? That’s weird.
Angie and Lisa won’t make up as they’re being asked. Lisa delivers some lame apology, and leaves.
Kerastase is getting a lot of free advertising, on he bright side, if you’re the owner of that company. They bicker over that, and how they’re jealous of each other with their affiliations with it.
Terrence continues to talk to Whitney which is clearly very scripted, that she needs to end a friendship with someone. Lisa I assume. Production LOVES to get the ladies to torment Lisa since her reactions are always so epic.
Angie rants at confusion over the ‘soup guy’ comment. She does NOT know anyone who sells soup!
Angie and Mary get into it now because she’s mad she’s friends with Lisa. Mary now stomps away. I like how everyone has to pass through the reading sessions as they storm out.
Angie doubles down on the ‘soup’ confusion. I’m getting hungry for soup.
Lurch is such a fame whore. He knows Britani is filming and he’s blowing up her fucking phone so she mentions him. She calls him and he calls her out for ‘helping her’ in a financial way after Bronwyn prompts him. Whatever. I doubt the weirdo has worked a day in his life.
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