Real Housewives of OC 3/2/22

I just do not get why Emily is letting her daughter become a Mormon. Hello do your homework sweetie, it’s a cult. She seems really really happy and excited about it. I just question it because I do watch SLC. None of those chicks seem to be loving or loved being raised a Mormon. Is she just trying to suck up to Shane or what ?

During the vagina stack joke, he should have told her “you are my vagina.” instead of “you are my woman” Maybe he wanted to but thought it would be inappropriate. It’s so Shane though.

Heather, Shannon and some Tawnie chick (new HW audition perhaps?) and Jen meet for dinner. Jen continues to have Rynnnee struggles. There was some mortgage paying drama. I didn’t follow it totally. Assuming the mortgage did get paid.

Heather starts the marriage counseling nonsense again.

They flash to some silly crap with Heather and Terry ‘arguing’ about onion rings. Nothing having to do with the issues Jen and her moron are having. Why wouldn’t they flash to that season when there were some ACTUAL arguments ? Not stupid gay Terry asking if she have onion rings served by their staff? Gimme a break !!

Heather gets on her soapbox about how her relationship is perfect. Oh my God. I’ll tell you right now why their marriage works:

Their marriage works because Heather is bossy, and Terry is a pussy. Some men just like to be bossed around. Terry is one of them. (also I think he’s gay, but I won’t get into that now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, except he’s married to a woman)

So she cannot be helpful interfering in other’s marriage troubles unless they have this dynamic. And most marriages with this dynamic, do not have issues. The woman likes to be bossy, the dude likes to be bossed around. What could be the problem? Don’t even get me started on this stupid show they have now where they’re seriously counseling couples on their marital problems. I would rather stab my eyeball than watch that.

Noella meets with — someone, I was looking at my phone, sorry. Another audition it looks like.

They’re having champagne. This is a lot of champagne drinking, constantly, during the day, at every single visit or outing. How are they not drunk all of the time? I should do my champagne cocktail for next week. I’ve been slacking on my cocktails. What IS wrong with me ??

She tells the random chick that James only FaceTimed their mediation. He only cared about discussing money. She mentioned several material items she had of his. I really don’t get this.

What even happened? His tax troubles came out, he high tails it to Puerto Rico, and serves her divorce papers, and hasn’t spoken to her since. Did he just have the shits of her and checked out, because she’s Noella? He posted something on insta I saw a few months ago, to defend himself against the things she was saying, that he felt uncomfortable with her very open (no pun intended) sexual behavior. (perhaps he wasn’t super into the vagina stack)

Heather is visiting Gina. What in the name of Jesus is she wearing. Maybe she’s trying to play the pathetic card so Heather gives her more shit. Heather yammers in her talking head thing about how Gina is “starting a business.” Well, she’s having some random face creams handed to her, just for being a ‘Housewife’ that she’s slapping a name on, and peddling. So yeah sure, Heather, that’s sort of not really at all like “starting a business.” But mkay.

Anyway, I guess Heather is donating clothes to her for her “business.” Where she doesn’t have to go anywhere, or do anything, really. Heather needed to feel rich and important and get thanked profusely. Appears to be a pink leather jacket. Well, two. She says twice, she “brought two since she wasn’t sure of her size.” We get it Heather, she’s not as skinny as you are. Not a Small.

She tries on her prom dress. Guys sorry but that prom dress is HIDEOUS !!! Horrific color. The scarf thing ? What ?? Orange County vibe my ass !! (well to be fair, it IS orange) How about Brady Bunch vibe? Was she in high school in the 70’s? She looks good for being in her 60’s.

She says it’s “definitely tighter.” Well, actually it doesn’t even look like it would begin to be able to be zipped up. (I see the mic is attached but still) But have it your way Gina. Tighter. Sure.

This reminds me of that show “What Not To Wear” that used to be on TLC, when Heather is going through her clothes and telling her she needs to get rid of stuff, and what she approves and disapproves of. That was some of my pre-Bravo TV time. LOVED that show! Gina was even like “you can’t take that away, that’s my favorite jean jacket.” Just like the women did on the show. Except they got REALLY angry sometimes. I mean there were almost some knock-down drag-outs on that show! Not like Housewives, but close.

Heather says in her interview that “Gina doesn’t understand her own personal style yet.” Yet ?? Isn’t she like 40 ??? So if she doesn’t have a personal style YET, she’s probably not going to ? Plus I think that is slightly harsh. I think Gina looks mostly okay. She has hits and misses, like most housewives do. She likes the still in high school vibe sometimes too much. But that matches her nasly twang and cadence, that seems a little extra this season. Extra annoying.

Heather is on a roll here with her superiority complex, being a marriage counselor and a personal stylist/fashion advisor, all in the same episode. ‘How lucky are WE???

Funny how Gina and Jen are her chosen besties. (Granted they are both sucking up to her.) Gina – the group “peasant” and Jen having marital troubles. Two categories where Heather likes to flaunt her good fortune. No Heather thrives on flaunting her riches and her marriage to a loaded Pussy Terry, thereby making it successful.

So is her closet in some sort of crawl space in her house? I was confused by this. Maybe it was the storage part, but I saw Heather looking into the crawl space when they first went into her room. Heather looks mortified.

Gina starts crying over her wedding dress. Heather convinces her to donate it. I know she’s divorced, but I think she should keep it. I do actually like her wedding dress, but that prom mustard yellow frock. Hibachi it !! Jesus. Her date must have been like what the fuck.

Mormon Cult baptism party time. Where the alcohol is flowing and Emily is drunk as usual. Is there something wrong with that?

I’m over Emily crying about her childhood.

Emily and Gina are being very Emily and Gina right now. I might be tuning out. Emily gets Gina all cranked up about Shannon. So in other words, we’ll be seeing cra cra emotional Shannon come out soon, when Gina gets all Re Gina George mean girl on her. So in other words, she is going to take more cheap shots, piss her off and get her going. Then tell her she’s crazy. Got it. Looking forward to it. NOT.

Quiet Woman again. They’re getting some free advertising. Or maybe not free advertising. Those margs look good Shannon and John are having. She is recounting the jealousy convo with VaGina/ReGina.

John: – “she finds things to make you look bad.” Yeah. No. Shit. She is Very Cocky. Not confident. John Boy hits the nail on the head. I like how John always seems to have Shannon’s back. Sweet. Probably nice to have a BF like that.

Heather- so extra and annoying. Where is marijuana micro dose Heather? She is having a dinner party and having Jen, Ryne and other couples over. She’s walking around acting beyond pretentious, and saying how she “threw this together” but knows it looks elaborate. She’s bitching that the “amuse bouche” is not listed first on the menu. Hate when that happens. Also what the hell is amuse bouche? Well I looked it up, and it’s just a small appetizer. “That’s the point of an amuse bouche” she says, “to delight the mouth.” I pity the poor girl who was in charge of designing the menus. She’s probably still crying.

“Jen wanted to see what we were like.” Yes she really says this.

Watching and listening to her and Terry is nauseating.

Jen and Ryne are on their way to the DuBrow mansion. They go through the first gate and Jen explains in the car that there are two gates. Ryne didn’t even realize that they went through the first gate. He looks back. (even though Jen announced to someone where they were going, like who the fuck did he think she was talking to, a deer along the road?? ) This dude is such a fucking ding dong paying zero attention whatsoever to Jen.

Well they get through all the gates and arrive. Did I know that Rynnnnnneeee doesn’t drink at all or just forget ?

Wait, Didn’t that exact convo take place at her kid’s book thing ? When he said he doesn’t drink and Terry was like are you a Mormon or alcoholic? marijuana… ? Coke? Heroin ? (seriously does he really think that’s funny?) Ryne shoulda fucked with him a little on that one.

Heather orders the help to be “constantly offering drinks.” Wow people have to HATE this woman.

The boys are getting to know each other. Terry of course cannot fathom their marriage dynamic, since Jen works and Ryne stays home and deals with the kids. Terry says he “can’t imagine, as a guy, being married to a doctor.” Wait What ??? Who says that ? Is this 1940?

Did Ryne say he NEVER had a job? Maybe he should hook up with GG from Shahs when they get divorced. Are his parents loaded too?

What’s with these trips to Hawaii he takes? Thought he managed some tourism thing?

Their umbrella in the pool area looks like a giant penis. Think that’s why the camera guys always zoom in. These Bravo camera guys are a little pervy, I’ve noticed.

All of the hoity-toity couples arrive. Heather goes on and on about how great they all do absolutely every fucking thing together. Great so what a set up for Jen, who is currently struggling with this dufas she’s married to. No wonder she’s guzzling drinks. Heather says “they’ll learn a lot from them.”

So she had her fill of bossing Gina around and playing What Not to Wear, now she’s telling Jen and Ryne they should act like her and her friends. Who wanted Heather’s return ?

Jen is guzzling champs, at Heather’s encouragement. She acts very very tipsy as they sit down for dinner. She makes a toast to women’s underwear, which I did not get. I don’t think anyone did. They give her a charity chuckle. Maybe this is an inside joke with her and Rynnnnne???

Then there are several uncomfortable stick up their ass rich people looks.

I’m just putting this out there. Did Heather purposely make sure Jen was drunk for dinner? To make a fool out of herself so she could feel superior sitting there with her perfect boujie friends? Between the order to the staff to keep offering, and encouraging her to keep drinking in another scene? She is really feeling herself now with Jen and Gina both with their heads up her asshole non-stop. And when people like this are feeling themselves, they tend to do this kind of manipulative shit. I might speak form experience.

Dinner is over and everyone is quiet and seems to be in a food coma.

Jen wants Rynnnnnneeeeee to take the napkin from his shirt. Seriously though, dude, read the room.

I know there were onion rings and all (since it’s this stupid thing Heather does to further accentuate how ‘perfect’ her marriage is) but tucking a napkin in your shirt is a little ridiculous at a boujie dinner party.

Heather goes into lecturing mode about marriage.

I like the dude that says his Dad woke up every morning and just said “I’m sorry” to his mom.

Guys, take notice. Learn from this.

They ask Jen and Rynnnnne how they met. It gets awkward when Heather needs Rynnnnne to tell his side of the proposal story ? Why he chose to propose at the time he did ? Ryne doesn’t want to talk. At all.

“What she said.” he keeps repeating. Like this dude isn’t capable of saying something remotely nice at all ? I think they are looking for him to say, “I really loved her, we had three kids and, of course, I wanted her to stay, so I proposed.” Yeah that ain’t happening.

This dude seems miserable at this dinner and has zero social skills.

He again says “what she said.” Heather finally gives up. Jesus woman.

Jen keeps repeating how good the wine is. “It’s really fantastic!!! It’s very good. This wine tastes really good.”

Ryne gets up and tells Jen to stop drinking. He’s so pissed off. This is going to be a long car ride home.

Heather is being judgy, but not getting all pissed off. Now if this was Shannon getting shitfaced and acting like this around her fancy schmanzy friends, she would be FA – REAKING. Probably telling her to leave, and then get on the horn with Gina and Emily like STAT.

They leave – Jen wants to collapse into his arms in the car. He wants the heater on first, and acts like he doesn’t want her anywhere near him. He lets her lie on his lap.

He ignores her and talks to the chauffeur about working out. He asks if he eats before his cardio.

Back at the perfect DuBra household, Scary Terry makes fun of them. Heather pretends to be annoyed.

Of course she does because she controlled the whole situation. Therefore she has to act all fine, like no problem and takes it well. Even though it was embarrassing. Her mission was accomplished. I may have been involved in a situation like that a few years ago, by this trailer trash scum loser fugly lazy bitch named Phy****. That was harsh. I take back scum. But she did the almost the exact same thing to me.

It’s disgusting behavior.