Ugh didn’t blog last week about this one – sorry !!!
Opens with Caroline and Sergio visiting the site where their home is being built. She brags in her yap about being able to build a home there, because it’s so prestigious and bougie and blahhhh blahhh.
I don’t see these two lasting, do you? Did you all see on WWHL last week, where she says they have a baby boy embryo cooking right now?
That I assume is getting planted in a surrogate at some point, probably soon. She really is going to have a kid to this kid ? At 45 ?
She doesn’t even want to marry him, as you may have seen in the preview for next week. She’s talking in her yap how she really doesn’t want to have a kid with him at all. She’s constantly holding that dog. Who does she think she is, like LVP or something ?
They bicker about having a baby, here at the construction site. She points out she’s 45. Ohhhhh, wait, now she’s 45, 2 episodes ago she was 43. He says “his parents have to be grandparents”
This kid has no idea how surrogacy of today works apparently. He doesn’t understand the embryo of her freaking egg, and his manhood gets transplanted in another woman, it is thenTHEIR genetic child. He says he’s been reading about it and he knows. Guess he was reading about it in an article from like 1992.
“This is definitely where I see the age difference” Caroline tells us, in her yap. Really, this is it ? He’s 20 years younger! He could be her kid ! She should be seeing the age difference a lot, every day, at least a dozen times. Unless he’s extremely mature for his age, which it does not seem he is.
And it’s going to get worse when she starts getting older and people will think she’s his mom. This is just not going to end well for her. And she’ll be stuck with this kid she didn’t even want in the first place, that she’s having just to shut him up.
Other Caroline meets with her realtor, looking for perspective locations for her spa/salon combo thing. She says this is the only one that will be in Dubai that is an all inclusive spa and salon, for women of color. I’m not sure if it’s specific for women of color or not. She seems excited about it.
Nina is my favorite Dubai Housewife, in case you were wondering. She’s so cute. She reminds me of a middle eastern me. Also doesn’t seem like she takes herself super seriously. She dresses cute and normal.
And her husband seems so sweet, and so not an ass. Where are those at? I’d take a broke ass one that wasn’t a gas lighting piece of shit asshole with mommy issues, daddy issues, everything fucking issues ! Waking up in the morning is an issue, and then issue after issue until fucking midnight. So fun being told everything you’re doing is wrong, when actually in reality, (something they know nothing about) every fucking thing you’re doing is completely right and perfect, and they can’t fucking stand it. They’re insecure and like to bully people around (women) so therefore you’re a threat to them. So instead of being grateful, they try to make you cry, and feel bad about yourself. Then Voila, they feel better. It’ sick, and I really wish these fuckers would stop getting enabled, and get help. It really is a serious disorder that affects everyone in their life that tries to love them.
And of course, he’s fucking loaded AF. I mean he’s buying her a Rolls, as if if it’s a pack of Rolos. So what is the deal with the this ‘low digit license plate’ thing, being like a status symbol and costing up to 30 mil? Fuck me, where did I go wrong? Oh I know, everywhere.
Lesa is in her office with all three boys, who are not too happy to be there. The oldest tells her that “his Dad is doing important business and no one cares about Mina Roe.” What ? You sexist arrogant little brat- sit the fuck down. Boys. Wow they start so young being condescending little fucks, don’t they? No offense to this little kid, but that needs put in check like now, by his parents.
Okay so when the producers asked her about last year’s profit, she had to call her husband to ask this? Yeah, she should have known that. Lesa, that didn’t help my case at all.
Rich comes to her office for a meeting, since he is CFO. I can’t stand this dress she is wearing in her yaps. The bodice area looks like her bra is showing. Rich seems like an okay guy, but he does have a dick waving moment. (hey don’t think I pulled that one out in a while!) Again no pun intended. I don’t have a dick, thank you. He says “nothing can be approved until he signs off on it!” He does end up telling her he trusts her decisions. Just needed to get that off his chest. That was in front of the kids. No wonder they’re saying shit like, “Daddy’s important, you’re not!”
Chris and Anya seem really cute. All of the husbands actually, seem non asshole. Guess I’m going to fucking Dubai. They do say it’s the place to go to ‘reinvent yourself.’ And I do hate winter. Okay, wish me luck! Maybe I’ll be a ‘Housewife!’
Other Caroline’s son is getting bullied on the bus. She needs to point out, that he is only riding the bus so he can socialize, because she does have a driver, duhhhh, and going to public school for this reason also. Whatever. Her son is cute, and seems like a sweetheart. Don’t think he wouldn’t say chauvinist shit like Lesa’s kid just did.
Caroline and Sara meet for lunch. So funny the difference in their attire between a native middle east girl and one from England. Sara wants to feel a ‘winter vibe’ since it’s Nov/Dec, even though it’s like 75/80 out, she’s in a fucking knit turtleneck thing, and Caroline is in a tank top.
Sara’s reason for not drinking is because she was in Thailand and ordered a ‘cocktail’ that she didn’t know had alcohol in it? Cocktail – alcohol – thought that went together. Okay, anywho, she had diarrhea, and was throwing up from this strange alcohol containing cocktail. Perhaps maybe it wasn’t the alcohol. Maybe the juice used was bad or something? Also don’t they say the water, in the 2nd/3rd world type countries, if you’re not used to it, you shouldn’t drink it? When I went to Aruba, I had that issue, almost every time I ate something. And I had to go to the grocery store to get special bottled water that wasn’t from the area. So I think her stomach and intestinal issues had to do with that. But hey, if it’s keeping her from drinking, it’s not really necessarily a bad thing right ?
Speaking of diarrhea, not that I’m obsessed with talking about it, but do you remember that boat ride from hell on RHONY, when the New York ladies went on that trip to Colombia. I thought of it because they were all literally shitting all over the fucking hotel, remember? It was like on the floor, in the bed. It was so freaking gross. Then they got on one of those “day boat” yacht charter things, similar to the Beverly Hills ladies’ trip, and the water was extremely choppy, and well, let’s just say we didn’t know if they were going to make it back to Big Apple. Here is an article I found if you needed a refresher. It was scary! They were all freaking out and puking, except Tinsley, remember?
Caroline seems to have come to terms with being 45 I see. She said again, she’s 45. Maybe she was just confused.
So apparently rules were pretty strict in Dubai, until recently, about living together before marriage. Also you weren’t allowed to ‘Mix up some sperm with your egg’ before marriage ? Couldn’t have kids before marriage? How does that even get enforced? Here is an article I found that was written BEFORE the law went into effect in November 2021, that now allows for an unmarried woman to have a baby. Times they are a changin!
Like Caroline said, so many people are relocating to Dubai, a lot of Europeans and Americans, that are totally NOT accustomed to those types of strict rules, when it comes to having children, so they had to ease up, if they want to be known as somewhat progressive.
Sara bring up Lesa’s fashion show event, and grills her as to why she didn’t attend. Oh Eff me, no did she just say “she just wants to be in her bubble right now?” Bitch better NOT say ‘love bubble’ or I’m turning this shit off.
She goes on to explain that she just didn’t fucking feel like going, and that’s that so back off bitch! (I paraphrased)
Sara fiddles with her hair a lot. She’s reminding me of Melissa Gorga on Jersey. Guys I feel like I’m watching Jersey, actually. Between the bubble shit, Caroline and her crop tops, and Sara non-stop rearranging her fucking hair. Just need some really bad and tacky fashion and it’s middle eastern Jersey.
Sara seems kind of annoyed with Caroline. Or just doesn’t like her much, since she’s such a you know, asshole.
Going to the party event for this Bijan dude, who seems really into his birthday, for a dude. They’reusually not. I read something on that one time, why girls are into their birthdays, and making it the big huge fuss, or wanting a big huge fuss, and guys usually don’t. It’s because guys don’t like to be celebrated for doing nothing. Women do not care. We’re just like “I’m a princess all day, or all week,because it’s my fucking birthday!!”
Looks so cool. Looks like sort of a masquerade event. Hardly anyone is doimng the masks though.
That’s lame. I would to totally be doing a mask. There are no words for how much I love to dress in costume. No words. My favorite from a party I used to go to every year, is Princess Jasmine. It turned out ridiculously adorable. I kind of like myself as a dark complected brunette, actually. Had to get a spray tan of course. It was October on east coast. Any summer ‘tan’ I had was long gone, and I’m fair. Anyway, enough about me. (it was cute though – photo supplied upon request – I think I still have it hanging in my phone.)
Everyone looks gorg. Stanbury arrives and just upon arrival, appears quite standoffish.
Standoffish Stanbury. That should be her nickname. She and Ayan greet each other pretty awkwardly. Her dude begins to chat with Ayan across the table from Caroline. She tells him he has glitter in his beard. Actually, “wet glitter” okay, did we need to know that? Caroline looks pissed he is daring to speak to someone that she just doesn’t like for no reason at all.
She speaks with Lesa about her non attendance at her fashion event. Caroline sticks with her “Oh, I was wedding planning” story, like any true , self-centered liar does. No matter how little sense it makes, and how much she knows it’s a lie, and knows that everyone knows it’s a lie. I like Lesa’s comeback – “no wedding planning tonight?” Caroline claims she wedding plans, “every night.”
Lesa says she feels her skipping the event was because she’s friends with Ayan, whom Caroline dislikes for no reason whatso freaking ever. Touch of jealousy perhaps. Maybe Stanbury always wanted to be a model?
Caroline denies this, even though that is the reason, and she even admitted that was the reason to Sara at their lunch. Sort of, didn’t she? Isn’t that what she was referring to as ‘toxicity?’ Ayan?
Sergio continues to chat with Ayan. They tell each other that they’re ‘beautiful people.’ Maybe the should get a room. I’m sort of picking up on a sliver, of flirtaciousness on Ayan’s part ? Maybe?
Little does he know how that this is enraging Caroline. Or maybe he does know, but doesn’t know what to do. If he’s about to marry her, he must know by now what an asshole she is. I think he should have taken the cash from his dad, not to marry her, and ran.
Caroline complains to Lesa that she backs Ayan ‘blindly.’ Remind me why she dislikes Ayan so much. I get she can be annoying with “I’m so bad ass, I’m a model, I AM fashion” but … Caroline says in her yap, “all of this petty stuff I thought would be beneath Lesa.” what ???
Lesa is the one that’s petty? Caroline dislikes this girl just for fun, but that’s not petty? Lesa is petty for being both of their friends? Stanbury is possibly making the Gemily (Gina and Emily) mistake on OC last season. Trying too hard to be the bitch, or the villain or whatever the hell, to the point that she’s coming off as so very non-intelligent. Now Gina has been demoted for her desperate mean girl antics. They need to watch this shit.
She didn’t attend her event because she just doesn’t like her BFF, and pretended she was ‘busy.’ Anya was a model in the show, so how much interaction would she have even had with her?
This is screaming jealousy. It’s screaming Marlo vs Kenya and/or Teresa vs Melissa jealousy. She did absolutely nothing but hang out at her house in her Dolores Catania crop top ensemble that night.
Ayan and Sergio STILL chatting.
This convo should be taking place between Caroline and Ayan. Has nothing to do with Sergio. Sergio is a sweet guy. Caroline, as she’s talking to Lesa and saying nothing that makes any sense, and coming off as really dumb, keeps glancing over at them. You can tell she’s totally boiling over.
Still on the wedding, and she “doesn’t think about anything right now.” Yes we know Caroline, it’s painfully evident that you don’t sit and do a whole lot of “thinking.” at all. But thanks anyway for sharing!
Now she goes into meltdown mode since Ayan left the table, and calls Sergio “such a fucking girl.” That’s a nice thing to say to your husband in front of a group, right ? What is he doing with this woman?
He literally looks scared. Can’t wait til he shit cans her 50 year old dumb ass in like 3 – 4 years when she becomes completely insufferable. She’ll probably just hand over this kid he’s forcing her to have. Who knows, maybe he’ll have come out of the closet by then.
“He fucking loves everybody” she says, “and it drives me nuts.” It drives her nuts that he’s a nice guy, and she’s a horrific miserable biatchhhhhh???
Okay. Poor guy looks terrified and says, “Babe what can I do?”
She continues to berate and belittle him. Says he’s become “one of THEM.”
So now this offends Lesa, being referred to as ‘them.’ He tries to cheers with her, and deescalate her anger, tells her he loves her. She doesn’t care. I feel so sad for him.
Lesa says they’re fabulous and she would want to be on their side too !! Lovin Lesa more and more !
Caroline’s constipated fucking faces are priceless! Lesa grabs his hand. Poor little Sergio. Honestly I’m even shocked they’re still together at this point.
Just when you think she can’t get anymore vile towards her husband she says “maybe she can suck your dick tonight!” Nina looks flabbergasted.
She seems really proud of herself for saying that. Lesa says in her yap, if she did suck his dick, he would never go back to you — !!! 100 points for Lesa! BIG FAT ZERO for Stanbury for acting like a jealous old bitty ! She storms off. Good.
Can you imagine being at a bougie fucking over the top, party like this, and getting pissed off, scowling, and ruining the entire evening over something as trivial as your partner speaking with someone who you don’t like, for no reason? I can’t.
My ex would do this. My ex did this. We exited a Christmas party a few years back, that I was looking forward to. Also I looked really cute. I was in the drink line, and started chatting with a guy in front of me. He was merely telling me that he Ubered there, because his friend got a DUI near a bar, that is near my house.
My BF (then) came to check where I was, since there was a line, and I also used the restroom, I was gone for like a whole 10 minutes. When he saw me talking to a guy, he got immediately enraged, and said “let’s go, we’re leaving!” (because I was making harmless chit chat with a guy, while standing in line.) Wasn’t asking him to fuck me or anything. He talked to women all the time! We had just gotten there a half hour – hour before. Why I continued to put up with this man for another year, I have no idea. Unstable, awful people behave this way. Had to make me feel like I was doing something wrong.
Ayan returns, conveniently as the discussion is over. Lesa gives her a recap of the convi.
“She’s so dark-hearted” Ayan says. AGREED
The old washed up jealous hag bitch returns to the table. Caroline denies what she said seven minutes prior. Fuck me! I really want go get through a recap without using ‘Narcissist.’ I really do. I feel like a broken record. Why are there so many on Bravo? If it’s not the actual Housewives, it’s their fucking husbands or ex’s. Do they put this on their resume when they apply?
But holy fucking shit. To utter something offensive, then deny it when you get called out on it, a mere few minutes later, is one of their idiotic patterns.
And it’s so evident that it’s an ACTUAL disorder, like addiction, or hoarding, because she’s even denying it, when she knows she’s surrounded by fucking cameras! Like they literally have NO control of this idiotic shit that spews out of their face constantly.
Caroline continues to deny it, and blame Lesa for “starting shit.” Turning it around on someone else because you know you fucked up, and said something stupid and offensive, just another wonderful trait. Now it’s Lesa’s fault for repeating exactly what she said.
Caroline claims she said, Oh My God – “I actually thought that was nice?” Lesa is like, “you didn’t SAY ANY OF THAT!!” Wow she’s a liar too. Well the two things do go hand in hand.
Now Lesa “stirs everything” according to her. Lesa wants that clarified and Stanbury says she “doesn’t need to explain it.” Translation from narc talk to normal people talk – she CANNOT explain it.
So she doesn’t ‘need’ to explain something she just said, about Lesa, when pressed. This woman is worse than I thought. No wonder her ex dumped her stupid ass. Probably sick of living in her stupid fun house world. He’s probably watching this and breathing a sign of relief.
Ayan has the right idea and just laughs at her.
Caroline and Poor Sergio leave the table.
He begs her to “talk normal.” Yeah good luck with THAT, dude. Been there, tried that, don’t work!
Their eyes are dark and glazed and ya get nowhere. It’s like trying to get to a destination on a treadmill.
He tells her she “must be tired.” yeah dude, she’s fucking old.
Wait, guys, isn’t that also, what we say to toddlers or little kids when they’re acting out?? “Awww you’re just tired, it’s time for a nap.” Fuck me, this IS entertaining. But I feel so sorry for Sergio.
“Keep me away form her” she says to him. Why? Oh, because she’s calling you out on your bullshit ?
I’m feeling more and more sorry for Sergio by the second. Dude, it’s not too late! GET. OUT. Do you really want to babysit and manage a cranky old lady the rest of your life??
They come back to the table, and Ayan says to her “you have a thing with me that I don’t understand.” She then sort of concedes to her behavior, sort of. And comes up with, “perhaps it’s a miscommunication”.
She says “this is ridiculous.” Yes, for the first time all night she’s right! A pushing 50 year old woman behaving like a four year old IS pretty ridiculous. Thanks for owning it !
Ayan tries to talk to her like a normal person, and she keeps cutting her off because she knows that she’s right. They talk about ‘hen night’ and Ayan said it upset her to be ‘singled out’ and not invited
Caroline sort of looks defeated. Maybe Sergio threatened to dump her tired old ass if she didn’t straighten the hell out !! Doubt he had the balls to say that but —maybe.
It ends with everyone cheering and Stanbury fake smiling. And being forced to hug Ayan.
Stanbury has all the warmth and fuzziness of Trashley on Below Deck SY, or a cactus, or a hungry alligator lurking in a Florida swamp waiting for an unsuspecting human to come and stick their toes in.
Everything seems great now. I’m super sure this will last. Next week’s ep she’ll probably deny she hugged her and agreed to start over and not act like a fucking dick.
2 thoughts on “Real Housewives of Dubai”
I’m still trying to get into Dubai.
Not literally. Lol
so just struggling with trying to keep up with it? i get that. it’s really unrelatable. the wealth is over the top. like Nina and her husband discussing
the rolls & a 30 mill license plate ?? seriously?