So I did miss recapping the premier on 10/5.
I’ll have to admit, I didn’t even know it had premiered! So embarrassed. I did go away that weekend, but I still should have known it was on. What is wrong with me?
I watched it and I do want to say a few things.
What was kind of cool, that I didn’t watch it until yesterday, is that I was seeing it AFTER the news of Wendy and Eddie’s insurance scam arrest broke on Thursday.
Watching Eddie taking notes like her fucking secretary as she’s make outrageous improvement demands, whilst bragging about how great Happy Eddie was doing was excruciating. But in an entertaining sort of way?

I am sure as is normal in a new business, he put some serious cash to get the company up and running. I feel like he most likely took out a loan or two and perhaps used their house as collateral. Four Degrees maybe doesn’t understand that. And probably his fault for not sharing that with her.
I think when he asks where the money is coming from for these improvements, he’s completely serious and concerned.

.
Also at their ages, they are also most likely still paying back student loan debt.
She assumed whatever revenue the company has been making is 100% profit and paying back a business loan is not an issue (wonder how sales will be doing now??)
When the cops started poking around the holes in their robbery claim, it was discovered that they are in “debilitating debt.”
I am sure as the season continues, it’s going to get more and more entertaining in a pathetic kind of way, knowing what we now know. Keep talking Wendy. Keep bragging, and keep talking.
Fucking trailer park trash Ashley. Don’t even get me started. Okay fine, I’ll start.
Who ‘celebrates’ a divorce like this you ask? I’ll tell you who, a trailer parky trashy gold digger, that’s who!!
It’s so inappropriate, especially given that she has two young kids to this man that she begged him to have. The dude is like 60. Do we really think he wanted to start over again with two kids?
She literally has zero self-awareness. She brags that she got some sort of settlement through investments that they had.
She planned all along on dumping this dude (not that he’s any kind of prize) the second she convinced him to have kids with her.
The dumb bitch couldn’t even wait a year after she squeezed out the second little money grabber. I mean really Ashley, couldn’t you have made at a little less obvious?
And then that entrance as if she’s any sort of accomplished person. Girl what the literal fuck? You’re so embarrassing to our species. The entrance, the gown, it was all ridiculous, simply to underscore the fact that she’s a fucking gold digger.

Stacey is back with her ex-husband if you can believe that. She should’ve consulted with Gizelle or Robyn on that shit. That never works out. To be fair, Robyn and Juan are still (re)married but I doubt she’s happy with that lying cheating sack of shit. I’m sure he’s still cheating and ‘taking his credit card to random hotels as favors to women…’
K is mad at Wendy for basically acting like Wendy.
I think she said she him but is now back with that Greg dude who is a complete dismissive narcissistic two inch dick piece of shit (reminds me of someone also named Greg.)
We’re introduced to two new ladies – Angel and Tia, friends of two of the ladies. So what does that mean? Well, it means that they will NOT be friends very soon. Duh.
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Ep 2 picks up with Ashley and Stacey bickering. This whole thing with Stacey’s bad breath is getting way too much attention.
Ashley seems a little too obsessed with Stacey’s business to be honest. She doesn’t believe that she’s divorced. Stacey’s claim is that they happened to be on a family vaca when the divorce was finalized and they just looked into each other’s eyes and both proclaimed “what are we doing??”
It does sound far-fetched.
I think K (that’s how I’m referring to her, I can’t spell her name for the life of me) hits the nail on the head when she calls Wendy ‘socially awkward.’ Honestly I think her awkwardness and insecurities are the root of the fraud issues she’s having right now.

She comes off overly confident but in ‘reality’ she’s not. That’s typical of bullies and abusive people.
This marshmallow dress she is wearing is ridiculous by the way. She always feels like she has to outdo everyone. This issue is probably what got her in trouble.
She dismisses K’s feelings, and has a lot of excuses such as her kids being sick, and she couldn’t possibly give K a smile, nor make any kind of eye contact while she was on stage.
She’s treating K a lot like she treated Nneka, just not as blatantly fucking disgusting.
Wendy is eager to change the subject after she gets called socially awkward since she knows it’s true.
It’s getting clear to see Stacey is the Katie of Potomac.
Gizelle pretending to be so concerned about Karen is utterly insane and disingenuous.
That opening scene last week in the premier cracked me up, as they all gathered ‘round and feigned concern and empathy, acting like they don’t completely love it.
So we have another fellow Nigerian in Tia. I’m feeling like Wendy with her attempt at rebranding last season and not acting like a witchy fucking cunt, she’s not going to treat her anything like she treated Nneka.
Stacey claims to have Nigerian heritage as well. That doesn’t go over well with Wendy of course.
Ashley’s complete inappropriateness and tackiness becomes painfully apparent with the ‘entertainment’ she has at her event.
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What in the fucking HOOKER is Wendy wearing?

First off, it’s two sizes too small. She’s too tall and large to pull this off. And the cheap hooker heels? I have (almost) no words.
This is the shit she was blowing money on to put their family in drowning debt?
A polyester romper two sizes too small and stripper heels?
If you’re going to flush your four degree education, life and livelihood down the toilet, buy decent bougie classy clothes that fucking fit your body!
For fucks sake neither one of these ladies know how to open a bottle of champagne or even remove the label. “Usually this part is off.”
Woman you have to TAKE IT OFF.
So many jokes, so little time. I need to get this done.
Stacey confesses she’s not capable of opening it after this peppy chant “we are women! We are smart! We can do this!” I can’t. The gold wrapping is confusing her. You can see how that would happen. Can’t make this shit up.

Stacey recaps her and Ashley’s ‘dress-shopping’ meeting where a very famous and reputable actress showed the receipts that TJ’s accusations of Stacey paying him to be her love-interest are true, and there’s a current case going where she is the defendant and TJ is the plaintiff.
Stacey is clearly lying. I do believe what TJ is saying is true. This feels very much like the Katie on OC saga. Bravo needs to get more creative.
Also that dude is gay (not that there’s anything wrong with that.) I don’t care what anyone says.
They can’t be having the same tired story lines across several franchises.
It’s like they’re telling them to lie about something that’s obviously true, which gets the others riled up, that they’re being fake ‘lied to.’
Which gives the ‘no story line’ ladies (Gizelle and Ashley on Potomac and on OC, Tacos and Tamtrums) something to talk and bitch about.
Win-win right? Except no Bravo, it’s super inauthentic.
Maybe my ex’s insecure mean-spirited fugly bored bitch wife should send them the how-to book…
Like how they had Katie on OC vehemently deny that spoke to gossip site and Bravo social media influencers.
Then two minutes later, ‘oh yeah I did call her. I just remembered.’
This then destroys their credibility, and then they don’t believe anything, even when they are telling the truth (such as what Gretchen and Slade told her about the drugging and hospital.)
I didn’t mean to spend so much time talking about OC, but this seems like the exact same fucking scenario.
As Stacey lies, a sudden weird wind passes through Wendy’s deck.
She tells Wendy how she’s back with her ex, and Wendy’s reaction is so fucking bitchy. I rolled my eyes too, as we all did, but when you’re sitting in front of someone, you hold your bitchy extra dramatic reaction.
Fucking Wendy is such a twat. She grimaces, turns the other way and scowls at her, making the most ugly horrible faces (which isn’t a stretch for her.) It’s too fucking extra. Like what skin is this off of your fake nose Wendy? None.

Not everyone has a husband that’s afraid of them, Wendy.
(Or one that’s so fucking shallow and hollow, he just stays with you to live in your big ugly shit colored house, so he excuses and covers for your disgusting despicable and embarrassing behavior…)
For some women it’s a little more complicated. They want to keep their family together, so they’re almost desperate to make it work.
Believe you-me at this point in Wendy’s life, she had her OWN fucking shit to get straight, and not be worried about Stacey reconciling with her ex and why.
You want to make fun of Stacey for being phony? As you would say “CHILD!”
Stacey brings up the allegation that she is copying Eddie and starting her own cannabis site, which she denied at the reunion.
She admits that she is, but the ‘talks’ didn’t begin until March, after the reunion was filmed, so technically she didn’t lie.
Did she get inspired by Wendy and Eddie? Maybe. If I were Stacey, I would go ahead and admit that, just to shut her up.
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Gizelle must be on the Oh! Oh! Oh! Ozempic. Looks like she may have had some nips and tucks too. Or could be working out, but I find that hard to believe.
I don’t hate her hot pink outfit. It looks a hell of a lot better than Wendy and that ridiculous romper. And don’t get me wrong! I love me a romper!
She drops in on Tia and the fam. Tia being the ‘other’ Nigerian. I think ‘Zen Wen’ learned her lesson and isn’t going to be shitty to her because she feels threatened, due to her you know, EXTREME insecurity about her looks and shitty personality.
Those are the types of women that tend to try to destroy other women, let’s be honest. Who the hell DOESN’T know that?? You would have to be an IDIOT FUCKTARD to not know that. EVERYONE knows that.
To be fair, Tia already seems annoying in her own right, as she brags how she grew up privileged with a driver, maids etc etc etc. That already screams to me insecure, and the need to be praised. I don’t know what’s going on with these ladies that seem to have it all. It’s kind of sad.
She brags that she “doesn’t do errands” as she makes her husband do them.

Gizelle looks at her like wtf.

She refers to herself as a ‘global real estate advisor.’ So she’s a Realtor.
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Ashley is attending a ‘White House correspondent dinner.’ My first question is why is this trashy bitch going to the White House?
Her half-sister looks exactly like her mom.
Wait what?? Ashley was in a relationship with this Josh dude when she did Love Hotel? And wondered why he didn’t like that?
Why does that not surprise me? Ashley is a trashy fucking ho, let’s be honest.
Why is she dragging this dude for wearing ‘product’ in his hair? That was weird. Poor guy. Then she starts picking on his sheets.
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We meet Angel and her retired football player husband. She wastes no time bragging about her house, possessions and vacations, etc.
That’s such a curse on Housewives. Is she not familiar with the rise and fall of the women on these shows? Like be humble, so you’re not embarrassed when it all comes crashing down.
She makes sure she reassures us they own a spectacular award-winning two million dollar home in Colorado, and that she’s currently embarrassingly renting in the Potomac area, ONLY because they haven’t found a house they like yet. Okay woman, settle down.
Maybe they should consult with the ‘global real estate advisor.’
Stay tuned for Part 2! Will be breaking this up!
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