Kyle loves to brag about Jamie Lee Curtis being her so- called friend, and starring in ‘Halloween’ with her in 19 freaking 78. Jamie seems so sweet, and genuine as she’s greeting Kyle and kissing and hugging her, and superficial shallow Kyle is just yammering about her fucking gray hair to her, and how her “gate won’t stop ringing.” Poor, poor Kyle. She pretends to be really interested in these children, for the Childrens’ Hospital. and we all know it’s fake.
We managed to get rid of Rinna and Erika for this episode. Hopefully they’re being phased out. Producers were probably like yes, you tested positive, wink wink. Guess you extra bitches have to sit this one out. I was unclear if they were actually sick or not. But we’re still stuck with Diana. Who’s tired of her licking herself, and mumbling under her breath about Sutton constantly?
Okay so Houston, we have a problem. There is false eyelash drama as they all sit down for lunch.
Sutton has glue, and she attempts to fix Sheree’s eyelash. At the table. She gets glue in her eye. Jamie jumps up to help. Sutton still tries to intervene.
Okay so the next scene is funny because I did miss this the first time I watched it. Kyle has a really really strange over reaction to this, and literally snarls at Sutton, and orders her to “get her hands off of her!” Very much NOT unlike Erika’s toothy snarling at Sutton last year when she threatened her. Not sure what is up with Kyle this season. Between this and her man-handling of Sutton at Garcelle’s party, it’s safe to say, production is no longer interested in making her look good. It’s time for her to go. Rumored that she has already decided this, and won’t be returning. Maybe if she actually focuses on these boutiques that she keeps opening, she’ll have one that’s actually a success.
Photos of this expression was ALL OVER Twitter after this episode aired. Viewers seem to think this is ‘The Real Kyle’ and she is beginning to let her guard down and show her true colors this season. Remember at the reunion last year Kathy said that “no one really knows the REAL Kyle.”
Crisis averted and JLC fixes the situation. Everyone snickers and makes faces at each other at Sutton’s expense.
Dorito and Diana whisper at the table about Sutton, when she’s sitting right there. Diana says she’s “repulsed by her.” Well Diana, majority of viewers based on what I’m seeing on Twitter and the FaceBook chats is that we’re repulsed by YOU ! She goes on to say that after their meeting, she went home and “scrubbed herself.”
Dorito is going into extra extra kiss- ass mode with Jamie Lee. She tells her how “happy they all are to be with her.” Jamie seems to know she’s fucking fake and a social climber, and kindly thanks her, but you can tell she knows she’s just sucking up to because she’s famous. I’m sure celebs have caught onto reading people that act like this. She should have asked her, other than Halloween 40 years ago, what other movies she has seen her in.
Remember how she did this serious ass kissing with Kathy Hilton last year? What’s wrong with this woman? Jamie shows off her ‘My Hand and Yours’ logo merch, which I assume she’s selling with proceeds going to her charity. Everything literally looks exactly like the other merch you see for businesses with their logos on. But for some reason, like I said, Dorito is in extra kiss ass mode and keeps repeating “so chic” at every fucking thing that Jamie holds up. Apparently all of this plastic crap that looks like it came from Walmart, is so ‘so fucking chic’ according to Dorit.
The travel mug?? Guess what it does?? “IT KEEPS BEVERAGES HOT AND COLD” To that Dorito replies, “amazing.” I’ve never heard of an actual mug that keeps things hot AND cold either! Did Jamie come up with this idea all on her own? Amazing. So chic. And the wind chime? Dorito says, “that is the chicest wind chime she has ever seen!” (looks like your average wind chime you can get at a grocery store or Target, but whatever.) She is laying it on THICK . Kyle is smirking. Jamie most likely thinks she’s a fucking idiot, because this is all typical ‘Made in China’ crap. It’s not really meant to be fancy or ‘chic.’ It’s meant to raise money and awareness for her charity.
Now Kyle, very very Kyle- like brags about the amount she is donating. (25k) Diana ‘matches it.’
How was Jamie Lee Curtis, an actual SUCCESSFUL actress and celebrity, from a very famous family, be the most genuine and down to earth person at this table? She leaves. She probably cannot wait to get the fuck away from these fake dumbass bitches.
So they all convene in the living room. Dorit-So-Chic asks Sutton about her lunch with Diana, even though she already knows it went south very quickly.
Sheree asks Sutton why she’s always in trouble – she answers that she “says what she thinks.”
Well don’t they all ‘say what they think?’ If they sit there all meek and say nothing, they get called ‘boring.’ Ask Teddi Mellencamp or Jen from OC. It’s actually mandatory now on Housewives if they wanna keep their jobs. They need to keep the strife and arguments going. Also, Sutton isn’t even as blatantly mean as some of the others. Maybe that’s what she’s doing wrong. How come no one sits and questions Erika about her repulsive behavior? Or Rinna? Clearly Sutton, is the sacrificial lamb this season (again – much like Shannon on OC)
Yes, the comment WAS a little passive aggressive when she questioned Diana as to why she was at Garcelle’s party, if she’s on supposed bed rest. However, it WAS a legit question, was it not? They were all confused when she showed up. She sent out a fucking essay on a group text whining how sick, miserable and bloody she is. Yet she shows up a few days later, fresh as a daisy, at a party. And was her comment NOT passive aggressive in that text? “I don’t want Garcelle to think I’m being rude.” So Diana can make a snooty comment, but Sutton cannot? The rest of them can stir up the pot constantly, say mean things for drama, but Sutton cannot? Okay? So they have Sutton feeling like she committed a crime, which is what the goal was. Feel like I’m watching last season OC when Gemily and Heather all ganged up on Shannon.
Dorito thinks if Sutton would not have led with the bed rest commentary, Diana would have been nicer. Calling bullshit on that. She came to that party just to be an asshole with that stupid book and mess with Sutton.
Diana and Crystal fuss and fawn all over Kyle for her charity donation. Whatever. Crystal made an Insta post about her eating disorder and body image issues.
Now we have Crystal pretending that she has an eating disorder. Kyle is asking her really specific questions about it. Crystal is confused because she has no answer, because she has no eating disorder. Kyle asks her if she throws up. Crystal says “you’re asking the hard questions.” (I don’t think she throws up, or wouldn’t she refer to herself as bulimic?) They’re not really hard questions. She’s the one that posted about it on SM for a gazillion people to see. Clearly she wanted asked about it. When she talks about it in her yap, it sounds to me, that she has a complex about being tall. She didn’t like being in the middle back row of group photos. Well, also not fun, and I speak from experience, is to always be in the bottom row, front and center. I got picked on and made fun of all the time for being short. People thought I was 12 or 13 when I was like 16. Which is horrible. She’s literally being so dramatic. She throws race in there too, just for good measure. I’m not really buying this. Sorry. She seems to quickly get over it after she receives the attention she needed.
I think her situation is like a lot of women, who want to maintain their weight and stay thin. You feel guilty if you overdo it a little. And we all have something we hate about our bodies. You feel ‘fat’ if your stomach is sticking out a little, or something is a little tight. I weigh 110ish lbs, wear a size 2, and yes guilty, I also look in the mirror, and complain I feel ‘fat.’ Sometimes I even change my clothes if I don’t feel really good in something, if it accentuates my problem area. (my stomach)
But I do not have an eating disorder. I have a vanity disorder. I want to look perfect.
But I need to accept I’m a certain age, and I will not have a six-pack unless I work out for several hours every day.
I don’t think her situation is unique. She started this rhetoric last year too. And surprise, surprise, just like she opened the season with the ‘violated’ thing from last year, now she’s looking for attention and pity over a fake ED.
Back to Sutton and Diana. Kyle is Diana is playing the poor me card. I am confused about the time line though. She says the ‘due date’ is approaching. But I thought she just had a miscarriage, which happens in the first six weeks or so? I’m confused, and I’ll have to be honest, don’t really care.
She admits to being bitchy because of her miscarriage, I think. She goes in circles. Sutton says she’s to blame for 95% of their issues, and she understands if she still wants space. Diana agrees. I think Sutton just wants her to stop being bitchy and move the fuck on. Diana isn’t Captain Feelings, so it’s hard to feel sorry for her about Mexico, and the other comment at Garcelle’s party. Their convo seems to end on a positive note. Good, maybe Diana can stop saying awful things like “she’s repulsed by her.” Especially since like about a million people are repulsed by Diana. Yes, Sutton is awkward, but Diana IS fucking repulsive.
Rinna and Erika discuss their (alleged) covid positives, and attending Diana’s Christmas party. So I’m confused, were they even ‘sick?’
Erika plays her victim card about a new article that came out in LA Magazine about her and Tom. She says there were no great revelations in it, just same old shit that we all know. Erika and her constant ego trip and need for attention, and ugly overpriced clothes, drove the poor dude into poverty and stealing, yadda yadda. They referred to her as ambitious in the article.
I wouldn’t really call her ‘ambitious.’ I think if that magazine article referred to her as “ambitious” they were being pretty fucking kind. Unless they meant she tried really really hard to be a successful pop singer, failed miserably, and spent every cent from Tom’s law firm doing so. Ambitious? Okay. I think I found the article. The date matches up to when filming was taking place in November. I read the entire thing, and did not see mentioned that Erika was “ambitious.” It breaks down his dirty dealings, excuses for not paying, and their extravagant lifestyle. Typical for Erika that this would be her takeaway.
https://www.lamag.com/culturefiles/the-surreal-saga-of-tom-girardi-and-erika-jayne/
She rambles about Tom and her impeding divorce. No one cares. She doesn’t even care because she claims she would have to pay him alimony. She talks about how sometimes when she talks to him, he doesn’t seem to know who he’s talking to. A lot of viewers think his dementia is an act for pity and to keep him out of jail.
He supported her dumb ass and her ridiculous spending addiction for 20 fucking years so time to —– ya know, pay the piper woman! Pay the poor dude back with your Housewife money. She could downsize. She doesn’t need an apartment where the rent is 10g/month. She doesn’t even need to be in Beverly Hills. When she was with Tom, she lived in Pasadena. She also doesn’t need to pay assistants and glam.
Diana keeps putting off her adolescent BF’s suggestions about decorating their house for Christmas. He is literally acting like a little kid talking excitedly to his mommy. He seems overly concerned, for a straight dude, about the Christmas decorations, and party set-up.
It would a cold day in hell before I would even go on a DATE with a kid 15 – 20 years younger than me. Who wants to be the ‘old bitch’ in their relationship? Also doesn’t help that she’s taller than him.
She’s wearing heels, but still.
Kyle visits the Hilton mansion for lunch. She complains to Kyle she cannot ever reach her. Kyle takes out her phone and shows that she doesn’t answer her texts and has no missed calls from her. When she tries to call it goes right to voicemail. Seems to me, and I’m no computer engineer, that Kathy has her blocked.
They’re eating on the balcony at the table. No TV trays this time. Kyle is wearing a horrible sweater, and Kathy looks like she’s wearing a pajama top. And can Kyle not do anything with her hair other than wear it like Marsha Brady? Like layers? Curls? A fun pony? Something?
The infamous ‘lady’ makes an appearance. Even Kathy Hilton talks to her household help nicely and minds her manners, unlike Caroline Brooks on Dubai. I may have scolded her on Twitter about the way she talks to her housekeeper, Sara. She didn’t answer. Not even a “fuck off silly peasant” or anything
Kathy is serving only a baked potato for lunch, with a shitton of caviar. I would have put a salad or a veggie on the side. It looks so lonely sitting on this huge plate. Not even a garnish? She seems overly concerned about these stupid pearl spoons. Thought she was this great “entertainer?” She gives Kyle a tutorial on how to cut open her baked potato. Who serves a baked potato to their guest, and that’s it? But then again I don’t think she likes Kyle very much, so that probably explains it. Kyle expresses her extreme disappointment about just eating “a potato on a plate.” Kathy doesn’t care. She’s probably having her real lunch after Kyle leaves. Here we go with rich girl problmes. She asks Kyle where she finds ‘help?’ Kathy can’t possiblyyyyyyyy wrap allllll of these gifts, and drive them alllllll to their recipients BY herself. Why can’t the stores deliver? Her precious fingers even hurt from so much wrapping.
So somehow we go from that to someone (a human, not a dog) has peed on her sofa. I don’t know if it was a joke or not. Kathy is so fucking dry.
Diana’s husband literally sounds like a teenager when he talks. She has to feel like she’s married to her kid.
Erika confesses to her Creative Manager that she had too many cocktails at Garcelle’s party. So what is his solution to that? Why, he asks if she wants one now, of course. Can we say ‘enabler?’
Time for Diana’s party which is probably going to be annoying.
Her kid slash husband is wearing a weird a red suit. Diana is wearing a sparkling over sized trash bag.
Eating disorder/body issues Crystal is wearing the shortest dress I have ever seen. Not sure how she’s going to sit down in that thing without her underwear showing. Assuming she’s wearing underwear. Where’s PK?
Erika arrives and jokes she MAY repeat her performance from Garcelle’s birthday party. They are seemingly encouraging her to get wasted again. So, yes, more enablers. Diana even jokes she could sleep over if she drank too much. (as if any of these dumbasses drove themselves?)
She admits she was drinking champagne at home. Diana thinks this is hilarious for some reason. Why is Kyle entering wearing a fucking mouth diaper for chrissakes??
True to form, Erika hits up Diana’s son! She asks him if he’s married. Guess she’s had it with the boomer geriatric dudes that can’t get it up, now she’s moving on to millennials.
She really does want to “repeat her performance.” She wasn’t held accountable last time, since they all made excuses for her, so what the fuck, she’s probably thinking.
Kathy arrives. She didn’t want to shake Diana’s son’s and his girlfriend’s hand, because of covid, but she hugs and kisses Crystal. Gotta be that science hard at work again.
Kyle pulls her face diaper to her chin. So if she’s going to catch a covid airborne germ from someone, it would have been in the first ten minutes of her arrival. After that, the germs all disappear. Oh and also there are no covid particles flying around when you’re eating and drinking. It’s science.
Garcelle arrives with a cute stuffed animal for Diana’s baby. She doesn’t seem super excited to be here.
She tells Crystal she “looks really thin.” Which I thought was a strange thing to say. Oh Christ here we go. Erika wants the “skinny” (I’m being ‘punny’ again) on her alleged eating disorder, and asks if she feels guilty after she eats, or just does not eat. She says she eats and feels bad about eating too much. Erika tells Crystal she takes laxatives if she wants to get rid of her food, instead of puking it up.
Gee thanks Erika. Whatever would she do without you and your worldly advice. Well it’s a fake eating disorder anyway, so whatever. I’m over this. Anyone else?
Erika is pressing her more. Like how many fucking times does Crystal have to say “I feel guilty for eating it!” She tells Crystal she likes to poop it out instead of barfing. Crystal wonders in her yap if she’s trying to be helpful, or had a few too many Christmas cocktails already.
A server brings out chicken tenders and Crystal goes to eat one, and Erika says “you can’t have this!!”
Like what the literal fuck. Now the poor girl has to walk around all evening and not eat anything!
Well on the bright side, she won’t have to fake puke. Wonder if Kyle, who claims to have had an ED as a child, will make excuses for this too?
