Moving Day for Teresa. Even if you cannot stand Teresa, as I cannot, this is really sad, selling their house, which was her daughters’ childhood home. I feel mostly for the kids, not so much for Teresa. I was actually surprised she managed to remain in this house for so long after both of their arrests and jail time. I was curious how she could still afford it. Well she is a best selling “author” and everything so, maybe that’s how, and of course Bravo.
I guess it’s safe to assume this house was built/purchased using Joe’s shady income and mortgage antics, that they both did jail time for. That’s also why I thought she wouldn’t be able to remain in it when Joe was in jail? Didn’t they have a bunch of fines too?
Teresa seems so fucking excited. But, she’s still in her “love bubble” as she puts it, and thinks that’s a good thing. She doesn’t know what the phrase “in a bubble” means. She’s running around the house screaming in that voice that is growing more and more annoying with each passing episode. Gia tells her to stop screaming.
Also move -in day for Frank Catania, moving into Dolores’ house with the adult kids. Explain to me again why he can’t get his own fucking place?? They make fun of his suits that he’s had for 30 years. Maybe they WILL be back in, 90’s fashion is in for women! He seems seriously offended and is pouting. Dude grow a pair !! As my ex husband used to say “you have thin skin!” However he said that to me when he literally insulted me, not just during harmless joking around. But, now we know that is ‘gas lighting’ when it’s done to you day after day, after day, after day…
Dolores always says Frank’s name when she is talking to him. I’m not sure if she just does that with just him, or everyone. I’ll have to pay attention to that. She says that she ‘only has 6 months left’ on her lease in that weird townhouse, so I’m assuming she’s moving back in to the house too. This is just very strange.
But it kind of has been her “schtick” (story line) on the show, for the past however many years. Not sure how long the Catania clan has been with us. Do we really think that they do not hook up ?? They act like they don’t but, like come on.
Frank is rooming with the chinchilla. Dolores starts in her yap this same tired story that we KNOW, that he has never ‘lived with the kids’ since they split up when she was pregnant with Frankie. (when he was cheating on her) We KNOW. She only tells that story like every five fucking minutes. They flash to the dinner convo where Frank is “given the ground rules.” Unlike Frankie, Gabby seems like she really can’t stand him. At all. I’m surprised we didn’t have to see photos of her and Frank from 100 years ago. Again. Rehearsed convo between them about trip to Nashville, and Margret, and Teresa. Who cares.
Back to Teresa and her moving day. Why in the FUCK does she keep pointing out she’s leaving items “for the buyers.” She keeps repeating it in this weird way, like she did with “my work out line” in the past few episodes. It almost sounds like it’s dubbed in. We get it. Just say “this table is staying.” The movers will understand. They’ve done this before. It’s common when you sell a house, for the buyers to want some furniture items that you may no longer need. She has these mover dudes doing her packing. I would seriously never trust random mover dudes to pack my stuff. Especially breakable stuff. But we know, these prima donna housewives don’t do one fucking thing for themselves. Why the hell do they have a piano ? Who plays the piano? I guess no one, since “the buyers are taking it!!!”
Milania looks miserable when discussing the move with Teresa. Maybe not, but she never looks all that happy. Teresa is trying to engage with her about packing. Melissa calls her in the car, and there is fake convo about the trip to Nashville.
New digs: Jesus Christ this house is fucking huge. I wonder what the story is now, with Luis’ money and law suit issues. I’ll have to look up what’s goin on with that. I haven’t seen much since the story first broke a few weeks ago.
Luis does SEEM kind of cool. I want so badly to like him. I hate that I always give people the benefit of the doubt. I hope he’s not a fucking fucker! He comes off as being into her, and sincere. I do know first hand how disappointing it is, on your second time around, when you meet someone you think is perfect, and Prince fucking Charming, and going to be everything you wanted, then he turns out to be so NOT, it fucking sucks! It does worry me with his exes confusing him of being abusive. Wish someone would have given me a heads up. Well anyway he got a stone on the patio engraved to say “ Sempre Insieme” meaning always together as a remembrance to her parents.
Back and forth packing convos with all of the couples.
Dolores is dressed like she’s 13 again, in a T shirt with kissy lips on it. Well, I’ll count my blessings, that she’s giving that star sports bra and leggings thing a break.
And while I’m on my fashion police soapbox, what is with Evan and the constant backwards baseball cap?
Melissa is showing Joe her Nashville country clothes. Joe asks if “is it country, what is it? Yes Joe, it’s “country.” Home of country music, The Grand Ole Opry. Maybe you’ve heard of that ? I don’t even care for country music, but sheeeesh. What American doesn’t fucking know that?
Then not to be outdone by Joe’s stupidity, Melissa says – I don’t know it’s like Nashville, isn’t it like the west?” They literally sound like Beevis and Butthead. Nashville is the south, Melissa not the WEST. My God. Is she playing dumb?? She can’t be this stupid. I always gave her credit for being so much smarter than Teresa. This is something I would expect from Teresa.
And they’re off… even having NOT seen previews, it’s completely obvi that Marge and Teresa are going to be goin off and having a typical vaca blow-out. Luis also seems to be egging her on about Margaret. Does he want her to be freaking out, so it makes the stories seem not true? I don’t know. I would think he would be saying things like – “ignore her, we’re here together, don’t engage…” stuff like that. Especially since I thought he was so “zen” and kept her “so calm,” as she was telling Melissa earlier, What a fucking crock.
They separate and load into the two vans, and are discussing who gets in what vans like a bunch of teenage girls. Arrival in Nashville. Melissa: “what state are we in??” No wonder she thought it was in the west. She didn’t even know where in the hell she was going. Is Melissa a fucking moron? I didn’t think she was. Is this an act ? Doesn’t Joe always brag she was “in college and wanted to be a teacher” when they met? A teacher?
But she doesn’t know what state Nashville is in.
“Mrs. Gorga, where’s Nashville?” “Ummmmmmm not sure, who cares, why would ever want to leave Jersey?? Hey, Do you like my outfit? It’s made of rayon and I got it in the Juniors department.” Good thing Joe turned her into his love slave, and she didn’t follow through with the teacher thing.
Joe is “jet lagged” from flying for 1.5 hours, he thinks. Also when you’re jet lagged, it’s not like it’s instant that you step off of the plane. I don’t think he even knows what it means, but he’s heard people say it. Wow, I think it’s true what they say about Jersey. No offense to anyone that lives there, but these two sound like absolute unrefined fucking nit wits. Christ, at least fake it.
They arrive to the rental house. I dozed off for a second during the bedroom assignments/arguments, and who should get the best room. Teresa needs the best room. The guys go outside to throw a football around to remind themselves that they’re dudes, oh and they jump on the trampoline, to remind themselves they are twelve year olds.
I love Dolores’ room. It does look like a Princess room. I used to have a Princess room. Sort of. Kind of. And can I point out, that first time since the season started, Dolores has her midriff covered?? Maybe Frank told her it was a little ridiculous. Or someone told her. Or she looked in a mirror.
Teresa starts to discuss with Jackie, if she’s upset with her or whatever. she just wants to bitch about Margaret.
She starts off with “you claim to be really smart right?” Teresa, next to you, Forest Gump is smart. Where is she going with this? She starts getting ultra crazy, and gorilla-like again, like in the woods outing, jumping up and down (does she pee when she does this ? I would be ) explaining that “every time something ‘big’ happened with her and Luis, something would come out, and squeals that Margaret would bring this out. She explains in her yap that Margaret is “running her mouth to the bloggers about Luis’ past abuse allegations.” But wait one daggone second! According to Teresa logic, talking about a “rumor” is okay?? Because it’s a “rumorrrrrrr”
That is how she continues to defend yammering to everyone about Evan, at his birthday party, that he was fucking around on Jackie. (Which he was. But that’s beside the point. Don’t gossip about it at his own birthday party!)
But Jackie doesn’t say this. Jackie tells her she’s spiraling and get back to her love bubble “I’m in it!!!!” she screams! This woman. Does she know how idiotic she looks, squealing and screaming how ‘happy’ she is?
Again backwards hat Evan with the over fucking compensating about wanting to screw Jackie. He never talked like this before. Total additional proof that he WAS banging this other chick. So obvi!
They’re out to this dreaded dinner, and you can already tell Teresa is planning this drink/food throwing extravaganza. Her table flipping 80 years ago made her an “icon” so why the hell not ??? (that’s her rationale.)
Again the sex talk between Jackie and Evan. Please make it fucking stop!!!
They’re riding the mechanical bull. Melissa lasts half of a second. Why does the guy have it going so fast for the girls? Wow, Jackie got thrown off like a rag doll. But you would have to have SOME body strength, which she does not have, since she eats two bites of food every day. I would be down to try this. It’s all in the abs I feel like. (it would need to be on a lower setting) I’ve seen Urban Cowboy. It looks fun. I could go all Debra Winger standing on it, straddling it and doing all kinds of crazy shit. (and then falling on my face…)
So Joe is the leader for his whopping 12 seconds. Well the winner is ultimately Tiki, the athlete. Told ya, all in the abs.
Jennifer has a Freudian slip. Apparently she has the hots for Tiki. They would be a cute couple actually. Cuter than him and Tracy since she’s seems to be much taller than him. Bill is in last place.
Melissa says at dinner that “Nashville is the home to amazing musicians” Now she’s sounding like an expert ! Guess she googled ‘Nashville’ when she got to the house. Who the hell doesn’t do a little research on a new city BEFORE they go to it? She’s coming off as such a stupid bimbo. Suddenly the bitch that had NO CLUE where Nashville was located on the map, nor what state it was in, is the fucking expert. She caught on that it’s the country music capital of the world, thanks to Google. Anywho, since she thinks she’s a great singer (you guys remember her attempt at pop stardom like 8 years ago right ?) She wants them all to record a song together. Moans and groans all around, because apparently no one else can sing. But they’re all open to it, except who do ya think?? Who says “ I don’t wanna go… ” Hint: same whiney voice gorilla that refused to participate in the rope walking event. You can tell she is itching to get this rumble started.
She cannot wait to start this shit she’s been planning at dinner, and wastes no fucking time. NO fucking time. Someone says that Margaret knows everyone everywhere, and Teresa starts with the crazy hands, and the screeching, that Margaret talks to “EVERYBODY” Teresa accuses Margaret of “talking to bloggers and spreading the rumors… ”
Thought last week she was “talking to the ex’s” Now she’s talking to bloggers. Which is it ? Oh both, she says Margaret is talking to people in his past. But if she is, and they’re telling her Luis is a wife beater, then it must be true. Most women wouldn’t say their partner was abusive if he wasn’t. Because that’s you know, humiliating. Teresa screeches, “You’re the one that put it out there, are you kidding me ?” It doesn’t occur to this empty headed scarecrow that since Luis is now in the public eye, the exes are talking. Women aren’t really known for keeping their mouths shut are they? Margaret then calls her a “disgusting liar.”
Did you all notice the smug look on Luis’ face as this is all going down? Shouldn’t Captain Calm one mouth two ears, have been trying to quell this at the table, when she started getting worked up, instead of sitting there looking entertained and smug.
And she executes her plan, she goes NUTS, and has another table tantrum. Flinging food and drinks at Margaret, Great example there Teresa to your four daughters who idolize you. Makes me wonder about Luis. Why is she getting so worked up about it if she’s not worried about it? Isn’t that what she said to Jackie when she was upset about Teresa talking about Evan?
She keeps repeating that Margaret is “white trash.” She can’t think of another insult. She says it over and over and over. But who the hell is acting like “white trash?” I seriously haven’t even heard anyone use that phrase since like the 90’s. I didn’t think we said that anymore. There was a big Twitter debate as to whether or not white people call other white people white trash or not? Yes I’m serious. I was just debating whether or not it’s a PC thing to say nowadays. Like why do you have to point out WHITE trash? As if being a trashy human is so unusual if you’re white. It’s a very antiquated phrase.
Ridiculous sounding debate in the aftermath of this when Dolores wants to follow Teresa. Margaret tells her she shouldn’t be following her after she did this. Dolores looks scared shitless about it. Why are people so afraid of Teresa? This is getting so freaking stupid. Imagine being like one step away from being formally diagnosed as mentally disabled/challenged, and having everyone eating from your fucking hand, and siding with you no matter what the fuck you do. Jesus, I had a slip up in summer of 2020, that was not one ounce like what Teresa just did, not even close, and have people NO LONGER SPEAKING TO ME about it. And NO ONE took ‘my side’ at all. NO ONE. Anyway, Frank points out that “they’re the host” so they should stay at the restaurant. Dolores agrees with this. Wow. Margaret’s white dress is covered in shit.
Teresa is a fucking animal. They are in another part of the restaurant, and she is still acting like the angry gorilla she is. She is threatening to “beat the crap out of that bitch.” Melissa is like her fucking lap dog placating to her. She again starts screaming at Margret the white trash thing. Jennifer follows her too like her second pathetic fucking toy poodle.
Luis asks her in the van why she threw stuff at her Okay Luis whatever, you know she acts like a crazy ape, and you sat there watching it all unfold and did nothing. This is your bitch now, deal with her. Not to mention, dude, this is all over YOU!!! and your “alleged” woman beating! Teresa continues to repeat white trash white trash because she can’t think of another insult, at all.
Well good, on the bright side, they’re still eating . The others, that didn’t feel the need to kiss crazy’s ass, that is. Jennifer/Bill and Melissa/Joe of course had to follow her and ‘support’ her stupidity. They’re dumbing themselves down in the process.
Frank says it’s “unusual for Teresa to fly off the handle” – okay Frank yeah super unusual. Did everyone take stupid pills?? Why is Melissa so afraid of Teresa? Luis is being pretty submissive to her also. I’m confused by him.
Teresa orders Luis to go to a hotel. Luis goes to a hotel. She’s in her leopard pajamas.
