Real Housewives of NJ 3/1/22

Teresa storms out since Luis wants to act like a puss and doesn’t want to “film” or be around everyone who is talking about him. I wonder who is telling him that they’re talking about him. Joe? Frank? I think maybe Frank. Seems like he thrives on the gossip, worse than the ladies.

I also believe that he did tell Bill he knows the chick that Evan was banging. (Yes I think he was cheating.)

The gang shows up at Jen and Bill’s. Bill doesn’t want to get the door. They can see him through the window. He literally walks right past it, and tells Jennifer to answer it. What a wimp. Guess he can’t look anyone in the eye. Own what you did. What a bunch of pussy dudes.

They get filled in about Teresa’s freak out, and leaving the house. Margaret is like “oh that’s too bad, what about the food? Are we eating ????”

Teresa is also not answering her phone, and has left Jennifer to deal with this Barbecue thing.

Of course there is a chef preparing the food, so how hard can this be? Never mind, this is Housewives. It will be.

Jackie eats nothing all day long and is surprised she’s buzzed from one glass of wine. Those extensions are horrible she has. What is it about these way- too -long frazzled extensions that these ladies think looks better than their natural shorter hair?

And what on earth is Dolores wearing ? And holy hell, Margaret’s platforms? Someone call the fashion police already. No wonder Jersey gets a bad rap.

Sorry had to have a little Fashion Police moment,

Dolores always seems to arrive to parties completely starving. Eat a Kind bar or something beforehand. Maybe because she’s trying to pull off these Forever 21 middle school outfits for as long as possible.

Teresa and Luis are actually arriving.

Didn’t think anyone expected them to after that little tantrum she threw. Side note- when Teresa reminded him there are cameras in the van, and sort of chuckles, (why this huge van – by themselves?) it’s possibly because he was ready to showcase his manhood. I read that on Twitter. (so it must be true!) I actually feel like that’s something he would do. Just whip his dick out when they’re alone. And there is chatter of him having a sex obsession. That seems like the type of dude to think it’s cute to get his dick out when they’re riding in a van. Maybe not

If you watch the scene, he’s sort of like looking down in his lap area when she says that. He asks her “how this came out.” (the video, not his dick.)

Teresa said Margaret brought it up at her “summer kick-off” party. She bad mouths Margaret a little. He seems really nerved out and anxious.

“No one should judge anyyyyy —— body” says Teresa in her Teresa way. Which of course is so hypocritical, when she enjoys talking about everyone else’s problems, lives, spouses.

It quickly gets awkward when Teresa and Luis arrive. Traci wants to know if the (other) elephant is going to be addressed. (Teresa leaving all mad, then showing up like nothing happened) This convo gets whispered down the lane, and gets the attention of Teresa.

She goes through a series of exaggerated, fake dumbfound expressions, then literally sits there and denies that she left upset and in a huff earlier. Margaret’s not having it. Maybe Teresa needs reminded there are cameras too.

What honestly is wrong with this woman? She has a straight face and is completely legit when she says “I wasn’t upset. What are you talking about?”

They play the flash. She’s tells the producer to go fuck herself, rants on her way out, and peels out of the driveway.

This woman is delusional. I’m sorry, but if you don’t think this woman is in her own world, with unicorns flying around in her head, then you just might be delusional too. And I’ll leave it there, for now.

Teresa asks if anyone has anything that they want to say, because if she finds out later, that they were daring to discuss her, “it’s not going to be good.” Is that some kind of threat?

Guess that’s where Gia gets her behavior of dropping weird threats at Joe during their argument, that she was “going to get aggravated.” Margaret, of course, brings up “the video.” Teresa won’t let him explain it, nor speak at all.

It’s very strange the way he keeps trying to talk, and she keeps saying to him “no you don’t owe anyone here an explanation,” and interrupting him. He seems like he doesn’t really want to talk about it, but just wants to eliminate the white elephant and be done with it.

She literally continues to cut him off time and time again. What Teresa doesn’t realize, because she’s Teresa, is that this really comes off like you’re hiding something/lying if you can’t just explain the circumstances behind it. Then they all start arguing. Luis finally has to get up to get these bitches to shut the fuck up, and stop the bickering. He says let’s talk calmly about it. Dude DOES have a point.

He tells Margaret “on your best day, you wouldn’t intimidate me.” That comment was getting some backlash on SM, as Luis being so ‘oh my God disrespectful to a woman,’ but really he delivered it very calmly and non condescending, just a fact. It actually does work. I thought it was funny that he put her in her place. He also shuts her down when she interrupts him agreeing that he’s successful.

Margaret asks Teresa why she’s so defensive. Her voice goes up like 82 octaves, as she says “I’m not defensive!!!” and she thrashes around being not defensive.

“You don’t owe ANYONE an explanation,” Teresa keeps repeating, and repeating and repeating.

Luis has really HAD it with her cutting him off, and threatens to leave if she doesn’t put a sock in it. The request FINALLY sinks in to this thick headed moron, and she lets him talk. Also he threatened to leave.

He gives a recount of what was behind the video, which doesn’t really match what was in the video. He explains he has had a lot of trauma in his life, and his friend started this group to revisit your pain and get clarity. He needed to learn to be vulnerable. He did not want to commit to marriage to this woman, and wanted to let her know that it’s over.

I don’t want to split hairs here, but he’s is claiming his former girlfriend wanted to get married, and he didn’t want to. However in the ACTUAL (okay now I see the attraction here – he clearly lives in his own world of delusion too) video, he seems to have been a very bad boy, and is begging for forgiveness, and begging her to take him back? Here it is, you be the judge.

In the interviews the ladies are like – “what video is HE talking about ?”

Luis no sooner utters the last word of the mostly BS version of the video, when Teresa yells – “are you happy now??”

Joe asks what she’s so pissed off about. She says she doesn’t want people gossiping about her and Luis. This is where it takes the turn. I had to watch this scene again to see exactly when it turned.

Joe says “everyone gossips, Teresa! Your friend Jen here gossiped about me – called me a crook, and you didn’t seem to care ! Ya still hang out with her every day!”

This is the tweet that Jennifer put out into the universe about Joe, when she and Melissa were going at it. Same tired shit about how she got on the show after Teresa, and has had no “story line.” blah blah blah who cares. There’s always drama with her, Joe and Teresa, of course they cast her and have kept her on. Let’s just let it go. Not to mention after the Joe jail drama, they’ve kept Teresa with a ‘story line…’

Teresa knows he has a point, and gets yet another dumbass dumbfounded dipshit look on her face. Since she has no comeback to that, she compares this to Melissa and Joe hanging out with Margaret, who brought up the video. I thought we were pointing out Teresa demanding no one gossips about her, and how she is hypocritical. Yes that is what we were doing.

Does not make sense, not really related, but here we are. Teresa unicorn logic. Then Jennifer and Bill’s cheating HAS to be discussed again, like why wouldn’t it, so Teresa starts yelling at Marge Jr about that too.

I think at this point, he really should address his affair, and mindlessly rant the typical excuses dudes normally say. “It didn’t mean anything, I don’t know what I was thinking, she came on to ME…”

(Then when we call bullshit on those lame excuses, they tend to spin it around on us, which seems exactly what Bill has done to Jennifer.)

This quickly morphs into Jennifer and Margaret arguing. And just like that, we’re back to Bill’s infidelity ten years ago. Margaret points out that she and Bill are similar, having both cheated on their spouses. What no one seems to get (they finally all figured it out now, I’m hearing, I guess since having it pointed out on SM) that this is the very reason why Jennifer is put off by the fact that Margaret was unfaithful. SHEEEESH!!!! They needed people to tell them this! Poor Bill is caught in the middle.

Literally, he’s in the middle of these two. This would be the perfect time for him to man up and speak the hell up the way that Luis did. (I know a little different circumstances) But he doesn’t. He sits there looking stupid as they talk about him as if he’s not sitting right the freak there. Then Jennifer seriously says, she doesn’t go ‘digging for gossip’, and you knew this was coming, NOW we’re arguing about the Evan cheating thing ! There is not enough tequila with pineapple in the world for this. You can almost hear Evan saying “Oh fuck me, here we go – thought BILL’s cheating got me out of this– what about Tiki- can we talk about him – where’s he ??”

With that, Bill slinks away and hides behind a bush. This is a good time for his exit since he knows he’s partially responsible for this argument too.

Poor Tiki is walking into this, laughing.

Jen maintains she was just “questioning” — it wasn’t “gossiping.” Oh Lordy, same fucking thing. Teresa backs this up, and Melissa points out, “well that’s what Margaret was doing about Luis – questioning!!”

Jen further explains that Frank told Bill he knows the chick that Evan was banging. Bill still behind the bush, won’t back this up.

Frank over dramatizes his denial faces and thrashes around. Sign that he’s lying. Like Wendy’s overly dramatic laugh and dismissivness at the Potomac Reunion, if you follow that one, when the “Eddie rumor” was brought up. She started clapping her hands and flailing her body around like it was the most absurd thing she ever heard in her life. Frank is doing a more subdued version of that. You can see Dolores giving him the side eye. I think this is exactly how it happened. It makes perfect sense. I saw on Twitter, and was like oh duhhhhhh — someone posted that Frank told Bill, Bill tells Jen, Jen tells Teresa. (of course) Hence the birthday party last summer when she had a drink or two and shared it with the party, and the world.

This is also is supported by the fact that as soon as they started arguing about the Evan “rumor” that is the queue where Bill quickly exits. He knew Jen was going to out him again.

Again with Melissa’s point above, about Jen being okay to be ‘digging’ but Margaret not,, Teresa is backed into a corner with no sign of intelligent life anywhere as usual.

Her face goes Teresa-blank. She either has no comeback, because she knows it’s true, or she’s trying to process this complicated sentence.

They keep showing Bill off to the side looking smug, and even smirking, and not defending Jennifer, nor saying anything at all. This is ridiculous. This actually has to be up there as one of the Top Ten, or maybe Twenty Housewife moments. Dude is on the hot seat, about two things, his affair, and telling Jen about Evan’s girlfriend. And literally gets up and stands behind a bush smirking and drinking his drink!!! I have a feeling after Jennifer watched this episode, he got in trouble again, and rightfully so! What a smug slug !!!

Melissa and Jen get heated about Joe’s alleged rep of not paying people. Jen calls Joe a little bitch girl, which was kind of funny. He seems not phased as if, sure I’ll be a little bitch girl, sounds hot. Maybe he’s thinking about role-playing with Melissa a “little bitch girl.”

Melissa tries to pretend she’s a tough girl and charges at Jennifer. There’s a blown out of proportion wrist grabbing event when Jennifer thinks Melissa was going to hit her I guess, which she wasn’t. I think when someone is charging at you, it’s a natural reaction to put your hands up. THere’s A lot screaming, that I’m sure is freaking out all of the dogs from here to Manhattan. Jen and Jackie rehash the out -of -context comment, Dolores blabbed about Bill sticking his dick where it don’t belong.

Bill, amazingly, remains behind the bushes, and doesn’t even try to defend his wife. They’re all screaming like lunatics and calling each other names. I continue to be in disbelief he is still standing there, just drinking his fucking drink. I continue to be in disbelief about Jackie’s horrible extensions. Do they get frizzy like regular hair ? I guess if they’re real hair. (clearly I know nothing about them, I’m okay with my own hair, and woman of a certain age does not need hair clear down to their ass.) Maybe if you just buy the cheap ones, and we know Jackie is cheap. I don’t see Melissa’s or Teresa’s getting frizzy.

Frank makes a sneaky exit now, before he gets hammered again about telling Bill about Evan’s girlfriend.

Okay so back to the argument, Dolores defends Jennifer in her interview, even though she’s at at odds with three of the ladies due to her big mouth, Twitter activity and basic Jennifer- ness. And blames her behavior on the cheating thing surfacing, I’m so tired of writing ‘cheating.’ Why do so many dudes do this?

They all leave, after WWIII almost erupted ‘down the shore,’ they’re not even in the fucking party van, and Jennifer says calmly to the ones that remain (Dolores and Teresa) “let’s go sit outside.” Like nothing happened. This episode is too much. Sorry I’m getting to this so late. I keep getting behind with two shows being on Monday night. I also lost focus on Sunday with the SLC reunion. I feel like it pretty much sucked, so there wasn’t even much to report, so I was just going to do a post on their God awful outfits. But I didn’t even get to that.

Now they discuss how this is awkward for Teresa now since she is besties with Jennifer, and she sort of mostly tries to keep the peace with Melissa. Jennifer whines about Joe getting involved and much to my surprise, Teresa sort of defends Melissa. Sort of. Jennifer says “HER husband doesn’t get involved.” Well girl HE SHOULD HAVE!!!!

Teresa and Melissa start texting about the argument and why she didn’t “stick up for them.”

Jen is desperate to make up now, and brush it all under the rug, really because she just wants to go to that damned Pink Party !! Teresa assures her that she knows she had no “ill intention.” Jennifer says “I guess I just hit a nerve.” I would say telling the world on Twitter that her husband is a crook and then calling him a “little bitch” MIGHT hit a nerve or two. This is a pattern for Jen. Saying hurtful things, then sitting there playing dumb/playing the victim and claiming she didn’t “mean it.” No way she’s going to the Pink Party. Put your pink frilly frock you were planning on wearing away. (which I probably would have liked, I generally like what she wears) Teresa texts Melissa that Jen will “make it better” with her tomorrow. (in other words – can she still come to your party ??)

Melissa is like – yeah no.

The boys are bro-ing it up inside. Frank says in his interview that he “doesn’t get involved in women’s drama.” Oh Paaaaaah-Lease ! Who the hell is he kidding ??? He’s a little late on that testament. He got involved in “women’s drama” when he blabbed to Dolores about Evan’s little fuck buddy. Jeez – I’m exhausted.

Next day –

Bill gets bitched at about not defending Jennifer at all, and standing off to the side like a coward. Wait til she sees the episode of him drinking, and smirking about it for ten minutes.

He makes excuses for himself. He had to know this was coming. Jennifer doesn’t add that two of the three arguments she was involved in had to do with HIM!! (affair and the blabbing about Evan to her)

Like what the literal fuck ?? She lets him off easy in this scene if you ask me. Hopefully she let him have it privately. Probably not.

At Melissa’s – Jackie and Evan talk about Bill and Jennifer, and the you-know-what, and he looks uncomfortable with this convo. His expressions remind me of Eddie’s on Potomac, (not to bring that up again, but I’m just seeing similarities, when I’m getting my photos) when he was getting accused of hittin up chicks on Insta. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. How can you look at his face and NOT think he has a guilty conscience? I think he’s just a sitting duck right now, waiting for this to blow up. I wonder if he paid that chick off ? We all know women LOVE to blab !! He’s making a fool out of Jackie constantly talking about it like it’s ludicrous. I hope the sex was amazing at least.

Breakfast is served at Melissa’s and Joe’s where everyone else is staying. Served by whom, I don’t know. We know not Princess Melissa. I don’t see any masked help walking around. It just sort of appears on the table outside on the deck.

Joe cut the watermelon, possibly carried it too.

Here are these fugly Steve Erkel glasses again! Margaret and Melissa are wearing them now! Yuck.

Back at the Aydin’s – Jennifer IS actually making breakfast. She shuffles the kids out of the kitchen as they begin to discuss last night. Jennifer tries to pretend she doesn’t still want to go to Melissa’s party.

I feel like I’m talking about a bunch of third-graders.

Dolores whips out yet again, another old photo of her and Frank. Someone was making fun of this on Twitter, that showing old pics and reminiscing about her and Frank from the 80’s is like, her “story line” I wish these two would just get remarried already. This is ridiculous. She goes into the story in her interview about him sleeping over at her parents’ on NYE… I think I actually do agree with the Tweeter that this is all she has to talk about. Which is kind of sad.

The Pinkers are setting up for Melissa’s “Pink Party”

Jackie must have looked at her hair in the mirror when she got home from Jennifer’s and ripped those stupid extensions out, and opted for a very tight bun. Good idea. Since she must get her extensions on Amazon, or at Wal Mart.

Margaret is whining that Luis was “aggressive” by telling her that she doesn’t intimidate him. I foresee him getting lippy with her throughout the whole season, since he has Teresa in his ear constantly getting him all cranked up, and telling how Margaret is “gossiping about him.”

Traci is trying HARD to succeed at this housewife game as she’s chattering away to Tiki about the Melissa and Teresa drama which he cares nothing about of course. I think I mentioned last week that this is the only franchise where the guys are on the Bravo payroll.

Teresa is wearing something so horrific to the Pink Party that I don’t even know where to begin with it. Flashdance combined with a curtain comes to mind.

Jennifer says she’s sorry about the fight with Melissa and blabs on and on, and Teresa couldn’t care less as she’s packing her purse. She honestly seems more spaced out than usual, and like she barely notices Jennifer talking to her as she walks her out chattering away.

Everyone arrives. Frank looks like Wilson peaking from the fence, since they can’t seem to open it.

Jackie walks in and calls Melissa “such a great entertainer.” The ones that kiss each other’s ass ridiculously, are almost as annoying as the ones fighting with each other. Melissa did not one damned thing. She hired people to make it pink and do ALL of the decorating. It does look cute though.

She makes a snarky comment about her family being “normal.” as she gets a photo with her mom and her ugly sisters. Sorry that was rude. I’m getting really tired, and sort of sick of Melissa.

They ask Dolores for the skinny from last night after they all left. Dolores tells Melissa she was charging at her, and Jennifer thought she was going to hit her. Jackie calls her disgusting and Dolores says “Jackie, you DID have empathy for her…” Dolores is being annoying this season. I stand corrected, her 30 year old photos aren’t her main story line, it’s crawling up Teresa’s ass, and being all over the place. Now all of a sudden, she feels all sorry for Jennifer after she was a dick to her at her stupid “house warming” thing in her dumb six-floor rental.

Jackie calls her out on her ratting to Jennifer about Bill’s dick placement comment , when honestly the context in which she said it, WAS sticking up for Jennifer shouldering the blame for his cheating. Like “HE’S the one that cheated, why do YOU feel bad?” It was a dick move for Dolores. And she knows this. Dolores, suddenly the goody two shoes choir girl says it was a “very cruel and vulgar thing to say in that moment.”

Jackie should be like “okay, then maybe he shouldn’t stick his PENIS in someone else” —– is that better? Jackie’s not as quick on the trigger as I thought she was in her first season.

Dolores is like “NOOOO!!! ” as if the story is completely assinine, when actually it makes total sense. This bitch –she’s working my last nerve. She’s literally dumbing herself down to Teresa’s level, to fight with the ones Teresa doesn’t like, and suck up to the ones she does.

This outfit is ridiculous too by the way, and back off on the tanning already !! it ages you !!!

She claims they all gang up on Jennifer, which they kind of do, but she’s done shit to piss off three people in the group !

Teresa walks into the house relieved to be out of the heat. Maybe she wouldn’t be so hot if she hadn’t worn a long-sleeved polyester drape? And enough with the fake designer headbands!

She starts talking to Joe about Jennifer. Joe doesn’t think she should “hang out” with her when she talks shit on him. Teresa can’t just take that in, and say she understands. She has to play tit for tat, and starts whining about Margaret and the video. AGAIN!!! It’s not really comparable. It’s definitely Teresa logic though. Same shit.

Traci wants some chime time and complains about “little bitch boy or girl” whatever again. She and Melissa are both now trying to reason with her (hahhahaahahaaaa) that she would be pissed if they said that to her precious Luis.

Teresa keeps maintaining she wouldn’t care because she has no ability to think, or see anything form anyone else’s perspective.

She acts like she’s crying and walks outside.