Okay finale time – here we go. Halloween episode which I guess was fitting with the ugly Bridesmaids theme.
I have had computer and technical difficulties and have not been keeping up with recaps and I hate it!!
The season – well it’s been ‘real’ or perhaps unreal, as in unrealistic. However the hell you want to put it, and hopefully you get it.
Alexis is NOT coming back according to what I’m seeing and I’m also seeing she and Jackass have broken up. NOT surprising. I’m sure she saw what an abusive fucking fucktard he is two seconds after cameras went down in the spring.
My take on the typical split personality NPD dude, is that it’s easy for them to pretend to be someone they’re not, but hard for them to not let their real selves come through. Does that make sense? It sounded better in my head.
Alexis served her purpose, and Bravo is done with her. Hopefully she wasn’t too dumb to see that coming.
Heather and Tamra up that ding dong’s asshole for four months was the most despicable thing in Housewife history. Or top ten.
I’m so over looking at fucking espresso martini’s. I don’t even like them anymore since they’re getting so done to death on Housewives.
I liked them before Housewives discovered and became obsessed with them just SAYING!!
I’m finally vindicated in the ‘Gina pushing poor little Travis down the stairs’ story I’ve been telling you guys about. If you noticed Gina didn’t get THAT upset about it because she knows it’s true, and if she glazed over it and didn’t act all pissed, it would get dropped. Which is pretty much what happened.
She was just like ‘yeah whatever Tamra and Shannon are both at fault’ then blamed the ex for fabricating the story, and just like that, it was gone and she was over it.
I definitely think it did happen. The season following that story being out, is when she was suddenly newly sober, so do the math.
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Ax throwing, of all the Housewife activities to do…
You know given that the England vaca was Shannon’s birthday trip, it’s really quite disturbing the way it ended. Viewers would LOVE a girls’ trip that is not constant screaming, shrieking and bitches storming out of the restaurants. Can someone tell Bravo that? Please?
And by the way, Shannon needs to get better at comebacks. The constant “you can’t SAY that to me, you can’t DO that to me…” and running to the bathroom, not working.
Jenn gets engaged to the gambling bookie shyster whatever you wanna call him, while they were in the Bahamas, where they seem to go like weekly. There and Vegas.
They were just on WWHL and still together, still engaged and Ryan was in the audience bragging about his innocence, when in reality it seems he was granted immunity, perhaps if he ratted out his buddy Matt.
He STILL couldn’t explain his employment situation when Andy asked him. He’s sticking with this ‘real estate developer’ thing when Jenn already disclosed early in the season he has no office, he doesn’t ‘work from home’ and he does nothing all day. Is this Housewife boyfriend math??
Well, the math ain’t mathin.’
Bravo must have refused to fly camera and production people to the Bahamas for the proposal so we see phone footage. That’s kind of funny.
Nothing like getting proposed to, with your entire ass hanging out.
I have to agree with Emily in her yap, that he treats her awesome, but the red flags are fire engine red and blaring with sirens about his finances and where he gets them.
Come on girl. Insist he tell you where he gets his seemingly unlimited income, and if he can’t, get your kids OUT of that house.
BUT I think she likes the unlimited income too much to be honest.
Gina just can’t not keep harping on ‘the rent.’ On a home she no longer lives in.
Jenn wants to blow off her planned convo with Tamra. That sounds reasonable.
Haven’t heard about Tamra’s status for the upcoming season. She tried to use this autism thing, but something tells me she’s most likely abandoned that. She tried. That’s pretty bad when you try to have a mental disorder to keep your job. Only in Housewife world.
What a fucking nincompoop. That’s the goddamned ‘spectrum’ she’s on. The nincompoop spectrum.
Speaking of nincompoops, we were forced to watch another yap of stupid Alexis and her foul creepy beastly BF, with his smug fucking face as he professes his undying ‘love’ for her.
Love shady production putting ‘Shannon’s boyfriend’ in the caption. Then flashing on a scene of the douchey freak stating the exact same shit about Shannon that he’s saying to her almost word for word.
Alexis discusses with her fake best friend Tamra, throwing an engagement party for Jenn with a theme of ugly 80’s/90’s bridesmaid’s dresses.
Tamra suddenly now wants to support Jenn and Ryan after Jenn handed her ass to her at the hotel in England.
I was surprised to see at the end that Katie never even went to South Korea. So I guess that was a whole big made up thing about meeting her birth mom.
She might be a one and done Housewife. I don’t know. We’ll see. I do like how she challenged Heather.
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Travis continues to whine up a fucking storm to Gina for throwing him out. I would literally throw him out just for being a big giant pussy.
Gina continues to whine about his ex.
I’m not sure how Travis moving out accomplishes anything and makes the ‘crazy ex’ go away. If anything it probably motivates his ex to be more of a pain in the ass.
Okay, well therapy will resolve it!! Oh yoy. That makes sense. Go tell a ‘therapist’ so she can sit there and NOT help you, so you keep coming back.
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Shannon seems to have recovered from the birthday trip debacle.
I don’t get Emily wearing her actual wedding dress for the outdated ugly bridesmaid’s dress theme.
She only got married fifteen years ago, so it’s not exactly a compliment that she’s calling her dress ‘tacky’ already. I don’t think it’s particularly exciting but not sure if I’d call it tacky.
What she should have worn is her reunion dress from a few years ago. Remember that nightmare?
Did anyone else notice that Katie’s dress looked exactly like Emily’s reunion nightnmare? Which if you recall I referred to as horrid, and looking like an 80’s prom dress.
Alexis wears a dress that is plain and NOT outdated nor tacky. I’m sure she did that on purpose. It looks like a recent bridesmaid’s dress, actually. Katie nails it.
First season Jo makes an appearance?? Did not watch the first few of OC, so missed her ‘character.’ I know she was really young and she was dating Slade.
And that’s it. She seems cool. Guessing she’s had no interest in re-Housewifing until now. She seems like she’s too nice and normal to be a Housewife now in this new era.
We find out she was Ryan’s assistant when he actually WAS a legit employed Mortgage Loan Officer twenty years ago. You know before he became a ‘real estate developer.’ AKA professional gambler.
The back of Emily’s wedding/bridesmaid’s dress is quite unflattering. This bitch needs to stop playin’ with us. This ain’t no size 6!!
And I’m permitted to say that because she cuts women down that didn’t marry as well as she did, and people, that’s pretty fucking shallow, so I can therefore comment on her back fat.
End of story.
Still think she should have worn that reunion dress. Perhaps she didn’t want to admit how horrific that dress was, but she’s okay owning that her wedding dress from 2010 was hideous. She’s a dick. And pretty sure she has one.
And what’s everyone drinking? Oh shocker – espresso martini’s.
Heather’s pissed she got snubbed by Katie and her husband. You know she must be the one doing the snubbing at all times. How dare anyone else whose husband is NOT a plastic surgeon?
Oh yeah, there was that babysitting drama from two weeks ago with Katie’s daughter and Emily’s boys.
Which I’m pretty sure did all happen exactly the way Katie’s daughter said it did.
People don’t realize how much kids overhear and pay attention to.
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Emily’s shitfaced and it’s still daylight —- on espresso martini’s, and you know how I feel about that.
Not a guzzling, get hammered drink. But she’s from Ohio, so let’s cut her a break.
It’s probably her mom’s fault.
The guest of honor arrives looking adorable and like a poofy 80’s Barbie Doll.
No wonder Emily hates her. Emily looks like a raggedy fucking disheveled freak with back fluff hanging out of her dress.
I don’t like Emily.
Tamra announces she’s now not drinking. Pahlease. It’s kind of funny though that she’s finally acknowledging her sloshy sloppy behavior when she intentionally over drinks so she can be as sloppy and nasty as humanly possible.
How can there be no nibbles at this party at all? How dreadful.
Emily has to practically get on her knees to kiss her short dorky but very WEALTHY husband. Pick your battles.
Heather’s getting tipsy on Espresso mart’s too and kisses Eddie and Shane.
Emily kisses Terry, I mean what can go wrong here?
Glad Tamra is not a part of this. It would have changed the whole fun dynamic.
She would take it from 0-100 within seconds. Especially drunk Tamra. But that’s right, she’s suddenly not drinking. I would say that was Eddie’s orders.
Ryan has this bookie guy at the party for some reason and they joke about him being his money launderer, with cameras everywhere, when he is indeed, his money launderer.
Can’t make this shit up.
I’m doubting they’re friends anymore.
Emily confronts Katie about the babysitting issue. Katie looks a little terrified.
So there’s conflicting stories between the two eight-year old’s and the twenty-year-old.
The boys say that Kylie said Heather is mean, and Kylie says the boys said it first, and she merely agreed.
These are CHILDREN being brought into a Housewife squabble. It’s bad enough when it’s the teens or young adult kids, but children? It’s so inappropriate.
Clearly they’ve heard Emily bitching about Heather. Big fucking whoop. Heather IS an asshole.
She’s not liking this, but suck it up bitch.
Katie tells her it was not that big of a deal, and get over it. She looks less terrified now. I think because Heather tries so hard to be obnoxious, it is laughable.
Tamra, actually NOT drunk at an event, approaches Jenn and very disingenuously hugs and congratulates her.
Jenn looks blank and devoid of any emotion when it comes to this broad. Tamra defends herself in the ‘background check’ thing and blames it all on Shannon.
Tamra keeps saying Shannon brought it up to get in between them, forgetting that what really has been ‘between’ them is Tamra herself, and her own shitty behavior and crush on Ryan.
She’s wasting her breath as Shannon has outsmarted her (not hard) and beat her to the punch, and already owned her part and apologized. And meant it. Tamra doesn’t. She accuses Jenn of raising her voice, and she’s not, at all, and threatens to end the convo, and Jenn is like ‘good – go – byyyyyye…’
I guess she had to be invited since it’s the event finale.
Shannon confronts Tamra for being so cunty in London. She made good points. I don’t know why she had to run away like that.
Then the weird interaction with Katie’s husband, who was oddly standing by himself against the wall like a scene in a movie I can’t really place.
It’s almost like he’s this wise whisperer or ghost that no one else can see.
I love his dramatic removal of the glasses as she approaches.
I’m assuming when he said “maybe it’s time to walk away…” he means from the show. Which I am reading that she’s allegedly considering, and I don’t disagree with the wise man in the corner.
Shannon doesn’t take that comment well, and honestly, he said it as calmly and respectfully as he possibly could. And he’s not entirely wrong.
She storms away. Again. She was so adamant about ‘being done’ and not going back, however has changed her mind and goes back. She ends up throwing her bouguet.
Jackass and his new teeth, who HATES the cameras you know, makes a cameo, if you will, lucky us, and comes to collect Alexis.
Back fat drunk Emily feels the need to run and scream this at Shannon, who does not care.
For some reason Back Fat and Madonna think they need to try to see over the fence to get a fucking glimpse of John Douche Lord Jannsen. Emily tries to push her over the fence with her whole arm up her ass.
This piece of shit can say all he wants that Shannon told ‘lies’ about him and their relationship, but the truth is the majority of viewer believe Shannon.
Again I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again, it’s very unlikely that a woman will lie about abuse by a man. No one wants to admit that when it’s true, so we’re certainly not going to make it up. It’s embarrassing.
Men should treat their ladies like queens and we hate it when we’re not.
This fucking blank dumbfounded look on Alexis’ face in their joint yap is so strange as she listens to him lie his ass off.
Emily does a Luann nose dive into the landscaping.
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A little update on Ryan’s troubles, as things get worse after filming wrapped so we did the infamous VPR “picking up the cameras” a month later to catch the drama.
Tamra gloats about her “gut never being wrong.” Not to discredit her or anything, but the dude has this bougie house, travels constantly, is throwing money around left right, and doesn’t seem to work. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out there may be something sketchy going on.
So calm down Tamra. You’re not that smart.
We’re also kind of wondering what you and Eddie do, besides Bravo. We’d like to hear more about the “multi-million dollar business.”
So back to this, his bookie friend looks pretty sketchy. His date looks like a mob wife. Katie discloses this is why Matt went and hid in the corner.
I guess he was overhearing a lot of shit that was all caught on camera by the way, about the jail possibility, and Ryan not ratting on his friend, who ended up ratting on his friend.
Ryan was walking around the party looking like the cat that swallowed the canary, making ‘jokes’ about being a bookie.
Jenn meets with Gina and Katie after the news breaks, who at this point does not seem to understand that this is bad. “What part of him is not good for me?”
What part of him?? Maybe the illegal activities part??
I don’t know Jenn, the fact that he’s a fucking CROOK? I really want to believe this broad is not retarded but holy schmokes. She talks about not being a great student. Yeah well NO SHIT.
Gina has to tell her to be concerned about her fucking kids living with this guy who’s wrapped up in some pretty sketchy shit that most likely involves some thugs.
Didn’t PK on Beverly Hills also have gambling troubles? Didn’t Dorit have a gun held to her head ? (allegedly…)
Have you seen Uncut Gems? Things didn’t end well for poor Howie.
I feel bad for her but Jesus. The girls are right. How dumb can you be?
There is a disturbing convo between her and Ryan where he gets on a religion soapbox as a way to distract her, and even gets side eye from the fucking dog.
Can’t make this shit up.
