So have you all heard by now that St. Jack Barlow has seemingly ditched his Mormon mission to brainwash abroad, and has been spotted recently in the sandy and sunny OC.
Lisa is citing ‘visa’ troubles. Hmmm. I call BS on that. I say, he got out there, and was like yeah no fucking way! Shoulda listed to Heather Gay!
I don’t think Lisa really had any idea what he was in for, and didn’t really care. She was happy he was doing something that she thought made her look good.
I feel like to do these mission trips, no matter what it is you’re preaching, you have to really believe in it, and what you’re trying to convince people of. And ya just didn’t get that feeling from this kid, that he was all about being a good Mormon Christian boy. I think he was just all about getting out of going to college, even though he was a good student. I think sometimes good students are just sick of it by the end of high school, and want to explore other options.
So anyway, I just wanted to touch on that for a minute since I did just see posts and videos on that today.
Word on the street is also that Monica stole Lisa’s ring, and none of the ladies are speaking to her.
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Heather is planning a book signing event.
What do we honestly think of Angie’s poodle? I feel like this is a little bit of animal abuse. Or am I being dramatic? It just doesn’t look pleasant for a dog to have to endure the dying process of obtaining this look. And don’t they get it in their eyes? And what if she licks herself?
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I still can’t find this believable that Lisa and Whitney are BFF’s. But, whatever, Whitney is pissed at her for making a scene at her jewelry event.
Whitney’s in her Amazon jammies charcutering away. She tells Lisa that she’s so relieved to not have any events.
Heather calls Lisa and wants her to sing Away in a Manger (a Christmas Carol – oh, and wonder what happened to her choir?) at her book signing. Whitney smirks.
She quickly starts scolding Lisa.
Lisa literally says “I didn’t start it.”
And I don’t know why they have to get into these specifics of the argument and exactly what was said verbatim. Lisa’s like – “what did you hear me say?? I only said, stop talking to me once.”
Okay, Lisa. The point is you were both yelling and bitching at each other, and she’s right, you both should have had the self-control to just shut it. You know, like Housewives often do.
This is one of those Housewife conversations where I think to myself – why can’t she just say “you’re right I’m sorry” when she clearly was in the wrong, instead of making a bunch of stupid excuses and correcting her on exactly WHAT she said and how she said it.
But Lisa DOES have a point in her yap about Whitney not being Captain Etiquette either. She’s usually Inebriated and blacked out at all of the get-togethers. Lisa gets a dig in about her having a cash bar and no food. No food? Sai would not have been happy.
Lisa does apologize, but adds that Angie is to blame too because she is friends with Monica, and Lisa doesn’t get it. You know, the gay husband rumor she was spreading, talking about, repeating, however the hell you want to put it.
Paraphrasing but Whitney tells her that Angie kisses her ass, which she loves of course, and she’s pissed that being friends with Monica goes against her wishes, and how dare she.
Lisa maintains she doesn’t care that they’re friends, she’s just looking out for her. Also she hates Monica, as she has been saying some really shitty things to her and about her. Mostly calling her out on her typical Lisa bullshit, and saying things to her she’s not used to hearing.
Lisa gets cranked up and starts F-bombing and raising her voice. Whitney gets a little extra about it because Brooks overhears, as she tries to act like the kid has never heard the F word in the house, or anyone raising their voice ever.
So that whole thing gets weird as Lisa immediately apologizes and tones it down, and Whitney keeps repeating in that fucking annoying Whitney voice, how her kids aren’t used to yelling and she’s scaring Brooks, and does that make sense?
I seriously doubt the kid was scared. He just wanted to hear what the hell was going on. Lisa keeps repeating “okay understood” so she shuts up about it, but Whitney keeps saying the same thing.
And Whitney’s seriously acting like she never gets loud and inappropriate. I just don’t like the way she’s shaming Lisa here for getting a little excited. The kids were upstairs, not right in the room. Like, calm down.
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So we have a Mary scene where she actually does not look like she wants to bludgeon someone. Heather drops in and is so excited to see the Crazy Cosby Mansion.
We knew the décor was a little out there, and stuck in the 80’s from the bits and pieces we’ve seen, but have we ever seen these chairs before? They do look very Dr. Suess.
I really like the teal cabinets. Tiffany Blue, well no wonder I like it, I have good taste.
“We’ve always had a connection, and you can say no if you don’t agree.”
Heather doesn’t say she doesn’t agree, but she also doesn’t say she does agree. She stares at her blankly.
What’s so weird is that Mary is acting kind of, normal. Also weird that every time the camera is on her, her wig is in a different position. It reminds me of Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy’s pig tails keep changing lengths in the same scene.
She asks Heather if she misses ‘the church.’ Speaking of the book…
Heather asks if she’s read it. Heather, really?? I seriously doubt that Mary is capable of reading a whole entire book. Maybe a Dr. Suess book. While she’s sitting in her chairs.
So of course, she just read the part that’s about her, and that is it.
Here and there, and skimmed it, she says. I guess I shouldn’t make fun of Mary, since all of them have admitted to not reading it. Way to be supportive. It doesn’t look very long, and doubt it if’s difficult to read. I just think they’re all jealous.
So Mary seems upset that the book portrayed her as “bougee and poised.” She’s upset by that?? She should be shouting from the rooftops that she got referred to as poised, because that’s kind of a false compliment. Would you not take it if you were her?? I’m wondering if she even knows what poised means, honestly.
I assumed she was mad that Heather maybe wrote about her cult-like church, and how she literally portrays herself as God to her parishioners, or the fact that she’s fucking wacko. But hey, being called bougee and poised, I can see how that would set you off.
So to put this in perspective, she called Heather ‘inbred’ but is insulted she got called bougee. This is such a Mary-like conversation. It’ so out there. Now here’s the Mary we know and love.
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From one annoyance to another, The Meredith Voice. She seems very un-techy. Sheesh, I thought I was bad.
“So I just do join sessionnnnnnn?”
As we know she and Seth have a stupid podcast. As if anyone wants to listen to those two talk about their fucking wedding. We have to listen to an insufferable story about relocating and Seth working non-stop, and she was feeling overwhelmed with her kids, moving from Chicago to Utah. She thought he was going to leave her.
Seth starts getting completely extra, crying and apologizing to her about it.
Meredith forgot to hit ‘record.’
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Monica’s mom arrives at her home, and returns her car that is in the mom’s name, so she takes it when they have an argument. This is a perfectly sane woman, right??
Monica goes outside, they bicker, they agree to go to ‘therapy.’ Monica makes her walk home in her fake designer Burberry pajamas.
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So we have Heather’s book signing on deck. Lisa arrives to practice singing a Christmas song in April, but I’m not questioning it. I think Heather should be the one to sing it, she seems like a much better singer than Lisa.
And what in the fucking fuck is Angie wearing?
Do I sound like a bitch for saying I think Annabelle is a weird name? Isn’t it Emily’s on OC’s daughter’s name too? Just never a name on my list when looking at baby names. It sounds like a cartoon character type name.
Has anyone tried Vida Tequila? I don’t have it in my area. I’m curious about it.
Monica corners Meredith telling her about her and Lisa’s argument, and specifically the mother comment. Monica doesn’t quote it exactly how it was said making it seems worse. It was a low blow, but she didn’t say “your mother doesn’t want you.”
Meredith offers her some words of wisdom to respond, instead of react.
I don’t know what’s been with Lisa and the extreme under dressing. Not used to seeing under dressed Housewives. At least not since Denise Richards on Beverly Hills.
You would think with Lisa ‘performing’ she could have done better than white jeans and a plain black top? She also wore jeans and a basic top to Whitney’s event.
I’m not a singer but I listen to singing, and I think she makes the mistake of not carrying out her notes. I don’t even know if that’s the right way to put it. “No crib for hii—–s BED.”
She should be stretching out ‘bed.’
Monica grimaces and loudly says “NO.” Like come ON woman. Not necessary. Also it’s like a Christian song, so show a little respect, and some dignity for, for once. Stop acting like trailer trash.
It’s not cute.
‘Away in a Manager’ gets a little twist, with some rapping involved. I guess it was cute and got everyone’s attention. Oh, and here’s the choir that I asked about. Ask and ye shall receive.
I don’t think everyone needed to be so brutal in their assessment of her ten second long little rap moment. Like that takes a lot of courage to get up there and do that in front of people.
Heather and Lisa AGAIN discuss Jack going on a mission, and Heather’s issues with that.
So Lisa’s yap defending Jack going on this mission, how can she say it’s “completely different” from Heather’s experience, when at this point he hadn’t even left yet? If he even went at all. And how do you promote him trying to get people to convert to Mormonism when they themselves don’t seem to take it seriously nor follow the rules? It seems like so much hypocrisy and nonsense. Maybe I should have more of an open mind, but I don’t.
Seems they had sort of a come to Jesus moment, no pun intended, and they’re understanding where the other is coming from. We’ll see how long that lasts.
Angie confronts Meredith and I even forget what they were arguing about. Meredith gets all Meredithy, with her head bob tilt wacko thing, and condescendingly apologizes for whatever, and walks away.
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Angie drops by Lisa’s so they can hash their thing out. She explains to Lisa, more or less, that she’s just trying to be cordial and understanding with Monica, and they’re not necessarily besties.
That doesn’t seem good enough for Lisa. But they work it out, whatever it was.
