Friendsgiving continues. What kind of mother doesn’t change a baby’s diaper for six fucking days??
Disgusting. Foul. No excuse.
Brynn talks about her dad and how he signed off on her and her siblings, but she forgave him when he became sick. He said he felt disgusted with himself every day. Yeah. Doubt it.
******
Jessel announces she is hosting a fundraiser event at her home for a designer friend. I can already see Jenna is going to be in trouble. She says that she has another commitment, but she can’t remember exactly what.
Sia needs to just take a seat on the bragging about her hostessing skills and thick toilet paper. It’s getting weird. Okay we get it, you grew up poor. She needs to stop acting like it, constantly. It’s not cute. I mean I’d rather have her own it, and admit it, it’s not her fault, it’s her loser mother’s, who ‘couldn’t afford her’ as she put it, but is there a happy medium between constantly talking about it, and denying it?
She married well. We get it. Bragging about toilet paper non-stop for chrisssakes. What is wrong with this girl?? She’s so tacky. Doesn’t she know this?? I hope she’s watching this and seeing what an ass she’s making of herself.
‘Cackling Hags in the Hamptons’ comes up.
Jessel defends the comment as a joke, and her British humor. Then she comes at Jenna who was trying to be funny, and calls her a ‘cackling OLD hag.’ Jenna, being the oldest in the group, is clearly offended. So yes, she is very, very dry. And I know that is a British thing. She tried to say that in a funny way, and the delivery was definitely off.
Erin is taking it a little too personally that Jessel didn’t have fun at her house, and was kind of bitchy the entire time. (which was two days)
Brynn chimes in about some of the things that she said, and how unpleasant she was. She claims she missed her kids, which I doubt she was lying about. She probably did. They’re babies, and she had only been away overnight one other time without them.
Can’t we just accept that she’s not the most pleasant and easy-going woman on the planet, and call it a day? They need at least one in every Housewife group.
Erin acts weird, that she didn’t know Jessel was back to working since the kids? Then they start mean girling her about her lack of intimacy with her husband. When’s the last time you came?? (leave it to Sai to say something this crude, who thinks she’s still in high school) Seems kind of immature. She confided something really personal in these ladies, only to be ridiculed about it constantly.
I’m trying to like Sai, but I don’t know, she brags way too much, about nothing really. Which I think is a characteristic of her ‘poor’ upbringing. Also, she reminds me of a chipmunk.
******
Jessel invites Erin for coffee, and asks if she’s coming to her event. “Are you having it catered and stuff?” Who asks that? It’s a charity event.
Jessel refers to the area, Tribeca as “up and coming” and gets dragged for that. She’s not a native New Yorker, and is not even from the United States originally so, I guess you can see her not realizing it’s ‘already there’ as Erin puts it. She acts all offended since she lives in Tribeca. Oh my God. Who cares.
They talk about their tension and differences. “We’re just very different people.” Welllll, not really. Erin’s not coming off to me as Captain Chipper either. She’s being kind of a dick in this scene, and not very open and welcoming to Jessel’s offer for a truce. She already admitted she was cranky in the Hamptons. What the hell do they want her to do? Also remember she hasn’t been laid in two years.
Erin tells her maybe she’s used to being catered to, and Erin wasn’t doing that in the Hamptons. Jessel immediately offers, “are you saying I’m a Princess?” with a smirk as if she wanted to hear a ‘yes’ response to that. I mean, it’s not really an insult to be called a Princess is it? I think spoiled brat more describes some of her behavior at Erin’s house. But she wasn’t the only one.
Now they argue about whether or not Erin was aware that she’s gone back to work since her twins were born. Jessel throws in the ‘you don’t support women’ line which is a common Housewife complaint of the others when they’re at odds.
Remember most of these women cast on Housewives are self-centered and kind of spoiled, also love attention. If they didn’t grow up spoiled, they’re married to dudes that have made up for it.
So it’s not that they ‘don’t support women.’ Most of them (not all) are just fucking assholes, and all about themselves. They don’t support anyone.
They end up joking about having to be on their way, to ‘go to work.’ Well, Erin tried to make a joke that didn’t land with Jessel. But again, she has a very dry/non-existent sense of humor.
It ends on an awkward note. I think Erin’s being very unnecessarily pissy, about all of this. ‘All of this’ being honestly, nothing. Maybe they don’t get along because they’re a lot alike. They’re both cranky bitches. She calls Jessel a lunatic under her breath, which seems harsh. Like they both take themselves way too seriously is I guess, a good way to put it. They should’ve been able to sit here and laugh all of this shit off. Because it’s all so miniscule and ridiculous, and completely laughable.
******
Jenna meets with a chick that looks like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction to go thorough her closet, to purge and sell clothing that she doesn’t wear anymore. Her ‘closet’ being an entire room. Some of it’s cool, some of it, not so much. But whatever, if I were her I would just keep it all. It’s designer shit. If she has the space for it, keep it. You never know! And everything comes back.
******
Sai and Brynn meet for coffee/tea. Sai wears too much black. I’m not sure what Brynn’s actual job is. She seems to have a lot of free time on her hands.
Sai seems to love a little too much, Jessel’s stress and marital issues.
Brynn fills her in that she spoke to Jessel, and she’s frustrated and feeling “over the Hamptons.” We’re all over it. No one cares about her naughty nightie tantrum. Time to move on, ladies.
But, we’re not. Erin is invited to this little ‘spill the tea’ session too, to keep the Jessel drama moving, and fill them in on her meeting with her.
Erin basically exaggerates the convo to make it more enticing to these ladies. And yes I agree, she isn’t really open to apologizing for her behavior, she’s more into making excuses. But I also think it wasn’t THAT big of a deal.
******
Time for this purse/charity event thing. Jessel bitches at Pavit for putting a carrot in his champagne. Again, just so fucking serious, all of the time. She is incapable of laughing.
Woman, lift the corners of your mouth, and make a ha-ha sound, and stop fucking scowling. No wonder her husband doesn’t bang her. Her friend even tries to defend the poor guy and get her to shut up and stop being such a Buzzkill Betty.
******
Jenna’s ‘event’ is more of a family tree-decorating get-together with her son and two Goddaughters.
We see later she gets dragged for not attending Jessel’s fashion charity ‘event’ and referring to her plans as an ‘event.’ How dare she? I’m sick of hearing ‘event’ already.
I looked up the official definition, and oh what do we have we here. It’s a planned happening of importance.
noun
- a thing that happens, especially one of importance. “one of the main political events of the late 20th century”
- a planned public or social occasion. “events to raise money for charity“
So it was of importance to Jenna, but not of importance to the Cackling Hags, therefore it’s not important.
To me, even before I looked it up, ‘event’ is sort of a loose term. I use it for even in the context of an occurrence. And isn’t kind of gross that they criticize her for spending an evening of Christmas decorating fun with her teen-age kid, who she doesn’t get to see all of the time? (I guess he doesn’t live with her)
Whatever. They ARE a bunch of MISERABLE cackling hags. They’re jealous of Jenna because she’s so cool, and they’re so NOT.
******
Back to the fashion charity soiree, Sai arrives and low-key ridicules Jessel, as she immediately stuffs her face. I think she just came to eat. Jessel says she thought it was illegal in America to make assumptions.
I know she was half-joking, I assume, it’s hard to tell, but girl, shoplifting isn’t illegal under our new regime, so I think being judgy, and making assumptions isn’t breaking any laws.
A lot of what I guess would be considered big names in NY fashion, begin to filter into her apartment.
Not thrilled about Jessel’s baggy ill-fitting rust colored dress, for someone in fashion. Sai, also in fashion, is again a disappointment, in her head to toe black again with leopard tights. This is more suitable to her body though, as opposed to the Michelin Man outfit she wore to a diner in the Hamptons.
Pretty sure none of these ladies have any intention of buying one of these bougie purses. Not sure why Jessel was so worried about whether or not they were coming.
So I never even heard Jenna refer to her family plans as an ‘event.’ Maybe that was off camera or not shown. In any ‘event’ it’s still so fucking stupid.
These ladies who are so extra Housewife petty, call Jenna, and proceed to pretend to be all understanding about her evening plans, but they’re not.
As soon as they disconnect, they deem her intimate gathering with her family, to not be worthy of declining Jessel’s invitation. Brynn, who I think is shitfaced refers to her as ‘Jenna Lyin’ for not telling them she had a family commitment. What in the literal fuck. Poor Jenna feels like she has to wave the phone around her apartment to show her ‘event’ participants, and the chef preparing food, to prove that she did have plans.
This is her fucking KID! Sai calls her ‘pampered’ for having her tree ‘done for her?’ ‘Done for her?’
WHAT?? Is this a new thing to have a little family quality time to decorate the tree? I grew up doing this, and did this with my kids too. Then we’d watch a Christmas movie.
Having her kid and Goddaughters help her decorate is ‘having it done for her?’ Does she think Jenna didn’t even participate? Isn’t decorating the tree typically a cute little get-together type thing when you have kids? I can’t even believe what I am hearing. It’s so bizarre.
Liking Sai less and less with each episode. She’s a loud mouthed fake ass little twat, who dresses awful. There, maybe that’s harsh but I don’t care.
Brynn, who has has just cried that she has NO family five minutes ago, you would think would be the last one to be ridiculing Jenna and calling it a “Hallmark moment, but hardly an event.”
Why is she saying ‘putting together the tree’ I’ve literally never heard of decorating a Christmas tree as ‘putting it together.’ They sound fucking retarded. This is so bizarre.
Sai does have such a big fucking mouth. She screams “Hello Erinnnnnnnn” as she walks in the door. She has to constantly be the center of attention. How much champagne has been consumed by these two?
Also this obsi: So, she’s in fashion, right? With her blog and social media business? She spent ten minutes bragging about it earlier, so why isn’t she mingling with all of these fashion icons in the room?? Instead of sitting here guzzling champagne, and gossiping about Jenna decorating her fucking tree. My God. What’s sad is that I think she thinks she’s so freaking cute.
Jessel tries again to diffuse this feud thing with Erin as soon as she walks in the door. Erin seems receptive this time.
She claims in her yap, that she doesn’t hold grudges, then proceeds to call Jessel crazy.
Ubah gets ready to leave, and asks Sai if she’s buying anything. Sounds like a no, however she’s “donating to the charity.” So I’m assuming these bags are out of her price range. Thought she was just bragging about all the money she was making plugging shit online??
Yet she can’t buy a purse from a new up and coming designer? When she’s a fashion influencer?? When it’s for charity?? Couldn’t she write it off?? Also why wouldn’t she think she could advertise and feature the purses on her social media?? They are really cool.
But we’re going to sit here and bitch about Jenna not attending this shit, to spend time with her kid? So LOW CLASS.
I don’t even know what to say about this Vogue editor that Brynn is in awe of. But again, she’s pretty drunk so who knows. She may just be being melodramatic about her due to her alcohol consumption. She looks like a clown. This is a fashion icon??
Erin requests a white wine, then bitches that it tastes like Trader Joe’s.
However, Jessel is the ‘ spoiled princess??’ This is a charity event. Not a food and wine event.
I’m sick of saying ‘event.’
Erin is having an anniversary party where sounds like they’re ‘renewing’ their vows, sort of. She claims they never even said vows, so technically it’s not a renewal.
Okay so more importantly, she doesn’t know the Housewife Curse history of big anniversary parties/vow renewals??? Is she serious? Every single Housewife that did a big shindig, got divorced shortly after.
They fill Jessel in on Jenna’s ‘event’ crisis. What exactly does Brynn have against Jenna? She’s always giving her shit and claiming she’s ‘getting away’ with something. I know it’s Housewives, but it’s kind of bizarre. What’s the big competition she has with her? She’s coming off as extremely envious, and extremely stupid.
She goes on and on, about why she referred to her plans as an event. She’s really giving off jealous that she doesn’t have kids. Or a family. Sorry girl. You are. But as much as she loves everyone’s kids, you would think she would be super understanding.
Oh and the previews for the anniversary party, Erin as usual: “I am pissed”
Girl, we know.
But Jessel is the crazy miserable one, right? Again, my point. They’re actually really similar. Jessel is just slightly more grouchy.
