I have no fucking idea what Ralph is doing. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I do know what he’s doing, He’s such a big phony fake fraudster.
“I wanted to do something nice for Drew” my ass. So off brand. He’s literally on this fucking redemption tour from last season. That’s exactly what he’s doing.
I’m just trying to figure out if at this point, if they already know they’re splitting up? But I do know, that this is not fucking Ralph Pitman being his authentic self. What a joke. You can literally see the love bombing as plain as day. And why in the hell is she wearing a bathing suit top to brunch? she doesn’t think it’s obvi that this is a bathing suit??
This semi-bougie brunch is a nice gesture to “see the ladies off” on their trip to Portugal, he claims. He’s enlisted the all of the guys to come and help him prepare the meal.
He sounds so scripted as he goes on with this BS, that the guys all get along, and the ladies bring the drama. Are you serious Ralph?? Ain’t nobody more dramatic than a bloody fucking attention-seeking narcissist.
Every fucking day, some type of idiotic fucking drama. Like save the drama for your mama. Speaking of mama, if you look up info on (male) narcissists, they tend to have mommy issues, and that’s why they treat women so badly.
Maybe they feel like their mom didn’t pay enough attention to them when they were growing up, or liked another sibling better, so you know what they do?? They don’t say anything to their mom, and address the actual issue, but they continually punish their partners. It’s so fucking warped and childish.
Literally, it’s childish, because they’re still upset about unresolved issues from their childhood, so you can’t get more ‘childish’ than that. So they take it out on others, instead of manning up and dealing with it.
Drew admits in her yap, that this is strange behavior for Ralph, who has zero clue how to prepare food. But then again, there is some hired help swarming about, as usual with these two.
Drew says in her yap that she thinks he’s trying to come off as this gracious husband, and it’s too late.
That confessional must’ve been filmed after they were already separated. since she’s being brutally honest. Or she would’ve been bragging up a storm, about how wonderful he is, and how he’s really stepped it up, and he’s changed. Blah Blah Blahhhh.
Kandi whines that she needs an appetizer. It’s brunch. There’s fruit on the table, but guess that does not interest her. God forbid, if you do not have food for these bitches, to stuff in their face the second they walk in the door, holy shit.
And what’s with all of the single shaming? This franchise is the worst one with that. Most of their husbands, and dudes they’re banging, are sketchy as fuck. If you ask me, so I’d rather just be single. Sheree calls out Kenya for her guy, not attending the brunch, but where’s this player she thinks she’s ‘dating?’ Oh, he’s sick.
What’s with all the slow-mo as the ladies are walking into events now?
Marlo has her sketchy dude with her. Kenya immediately makes fun of his sweater. It does look a little Bill Cosbyish, so that’s probably not a good sign.
This movie of Todd’s, they’re proceeding to hire cast and crew, so I guess this thing is going through. Kenya comments that she has not seen her offer for any role. Kandi breaks it to Kenya, that they have cast none other than Drew, as the lead. Kenya seems kind of put off by that, a lot put off by that, although I’m sure she would deny it.
Drew pokes fun at Kenya, in her yap, for not having been in a movie for 22 years Do we think Todd has like a little thing for Drew, and that’s why he wanted her in his movie?
Her acting career really isn’t anything to write home about either. What has she been in lately? I realize he wouldn’t be getting any A-listers or anything, but doesn’t seem like they even had auditions?
Kenya’s new dude calls her at the table, and seems Marlo has dated him in the past.
No surprise, the old ‘sliding into the DM‘s’ thing. Could it be more clear that these dudes are seeing these women on TV, and maybe see how hard-up they are, or just intrigued by their sort of ‘celebrity’?
Maybe they want in on those Bravo bucks?? Wants to be on TV? It just doesn’t seem very sincere to me.
The list goes on and on, with dudes that have done this shit with Housewives or Bravolebs.
And usually they’re not exactly sought after dudes.
How do you think Scheana on Vanderpump met Brock?? How do you think Louie met Teresa on Jersey? Although I think he actually targeted her for real, and pretended to ‘just happen by’ when she was on a walk at the shore. He was a little more calculated. And he tried to hit up a Miama houswife prior to Teresa.
So when she told him to fuck off, he settled for Teresa, is my hunch. She’s in Jersey, he’s in Jersey. It’s just easier.
Kenya pretends that she doesn’t hear Marlo disclose this at the table. Marlo elaborates when she steps away to talk to him. It was a DM sitch, she recounts the convo, and they went on one date.
Kenya returns to the table, and you can see she’s just fucking smitten with this dude who I’m sure really doesn’t even care about her at all, and is using her. Whatever. She seems to go for assholes, but she’s actually not someone I would expect to go for these types of guys. She’s not exactly any kind of pushover whatsoever, but narcissists, tend to present themselves like they’re God’s gift to the world, and they’re so into you, and blah blah blah. I guess she falls for it like anyone else.
They know what they’re doing. Kenya’s just going to give them a little more of a run for their money. Which they’re usually up for.
This season we have more of the same Drew and/or Sheree don’t like to pay their people, fucking tired scenarios. This time it’s Drew, and Sheree is the one that brings up the accusation, of all people to bring it up.
Sit down Sheree. I know you’re already sitting, but sit wayyyyy the hell down. Crawl under the table. She also tends to not pay people, as she knows. She does same shit as Drew. Makes up some fucking thing, that they did wrong, or exaggerates, and then, well I’m just not payin’ ya. You still gotta pay people for their time. Didn’t Kenya explain this shit to Sheree last season? Guess Drew wasn’t paying attention. Like when you work any job, for an actual company and end up getting let go for whatever reason, you still get paid for your time and your work. Drew and Sheree, ladies, this is not complicated at all. What a couple of greedy ass fucking bitches, How embarrassing for them. Fucking Drew couldn’t even pay her makeup artist 25 bucks when she asked Sanya if she wanter her makeup touched up last season. TWENTY-FIVE BUCKS !!!
At any rate, this chick that’s suing them, it’s for $1000. A thousand fucking dollars.
Drew claims there was a hair in the food that she made, and they didn’t like what she had prepared.
Girl, stop, pay the chick, the thousand dollars for her fucking time. Or maybe meet in the middle? That’s an option, instead of taking it to court, paying attorneys and making it a whole big embarrassing ruckus.
Offer her five or six to just go away. How much of a fucking cheap ass tightwad bitch do you want to be here? Such a bad look. Look at this house. Aren’t you embarrassed? Do these bitches have no standards?? What is going on??
Courtney gets herself all worked up about her excitement over the invite to Portugal, that she gets too cozy with Kenya who’s sitting next to her. I guess she and Kenya had an argument at some point? I don’t even fucking remember to be honest. Anywho, she asks her to stop putting her hands on her. She does say it nicely, but seems kind of unnecessary,
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I don’t think Mediterranean food is known to be ‘rich and buttery, as Drew’s sister tell her when she asks about the cuisine in Portugal. Mediterranean food is actually light and healthy (fresh veggies, olive oil, and fish) not buttery. Is she thinking French?
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And we’re off. Kandi still goes even though she thinks she has food poisoning, and literally flies on a nine-ish hour flight throwing up, and having diarrhea. I literally don’t know how that even was possible.
People sitting next to the restrooms, or people trying to get into the restrooms, had to be so pissed off. Not to mention having to have your ass, and your face in an airplane toilet for several hours?
She better land and drink water, and take a ton of vitamin C, and possibly an antibiotic. Gross.
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This country is so beautiful, and so surreal. Cannot wait for all of the screaming, hootin’ and hollerin’ to start on this healing, relaxing kumbaya, love is all you need – trip.
Thank God, Marlo gives a thumbs up on the hotel, as they arrive and are treated to drinks at once, in the lobby. I think she would have been fine as long as she had instant alcohol. Now she just needs her steak.
Drew discloses that Ralph is in Vegas auditioning for some Magic Mike thing? A part in a movie? Not sure. She confesses in her yap, concern in what he would be doing in Vegas without any adult supervision.
We all know the answer to that, Drew.
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Geography is not these ladies strong suit. Apparently we had Kenya thinking Portugal was a city in Spain, and now here’s Drew thinking South Africa is not part of regular Africa? She’s been to South Africa but not to (actual) Africa. Like Africa Africa I guess?
Maybe she thinks it’s a North America, South America type of thing? And thinks that all the continents are broken up that way? Or maybe, I just don’t know, and should stop guessing.
“So far, so good” Kenya and Kandi agree, as they convene in their rooms, when they literally. Just arrived. They barely have even interacted with each other at this point, so maybe a little premature to be giving themselves a pat on the back for getting along like normal people?
Some Kenya hypocrisy does get called out by Sanya, who’s chilling with Marlo, about this Martel dude DMing Kenya, (two years ago) and is now dating Sheree, but she’s not the least bit alarmed about this Roi dude previously hitting up Marlo online. I’m sure there will be more later on that. Probably at dinner tonight, or breakfast tomorrow, or lunch. Some fucking meal.
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On our way to dinner, and nobody has any clue what Portugal cuisine entails. Sheree shares that the restaurant they’re going to serves “authentic Portuguese food.”
Okay, so I don’t mean to be an ass, but let’s unpack that statement for a second.
I don’t think you need to say ‘authentic’ when you’re actually IN the country of the cuisine? I would hope that it’s ‘authentic.’ Pretty sad if it’s not.
Seriously, you don’t need to say that you’re going to a ‘Portuguese restaurant’ in Portugal. You don’t need to say you’re going to an Italian restaurant in Italy. You don’t need to say you’re going to a Mexican restaurant in Mexico . Of course it’s ‘authentic.’ I swear to God Bravo must make these ladies take an IQ test when they’re auditioning for Housewives, and the score has to be pretty low, or it’s a no-go.
I take that back, that no one researched the cuisine. Marlo has read that sardines were a delicacy here. (not a delicatessen, let me know who all gets that)
Then she proceeds to go on and on, about growing up poor, and eating sardines. Of course she’s talking about the crap from the can in nasty mustard sauce. I seriously think she thinks that’s how it’s going to be served here. She seems a little too excited about sardines, honestly.
Perhaps they weren’t on the menu, because when they put in their orders, she doesn’t order nor any type of seafood, when it’s most likely fresh AF, and fucking phenomenal. What does she order? Why, a big ole steak, and fucking fries, of course.
Drew tries to order her a round of tequila shots, and the server, with the language barrier, does not understand, and they end up with a cocktail that I’m not even sure has tequila.
I’m not sure tequila is big in Portugal, and I am not really swearing to that, or know for a fact. I’m basically just pulling it out of my ass. Maybe it is. Feel free to google if you want.
Okay, so I have to be a food snob here again. They’re seriously all ordering fucking french fries? Then they wanna complain that they can’t fit into their clothes.
I would love to see this menu. There were probably so many healthy awesome delish options of fresh veggies, and seafood, and they’re ordering fucking steak and french fries like they’re at a goddamned Ponderosa. Why do I have to explain everything to everyone.
The server is probably laughing his ass off, and ridiculing them in the kitchen. Typical Americans. All they want is fucking beef and fries. This is why we get a bad rap. Ladies, expand your horizons a little bit – you’re in fucking Europe. You can eat this shit at home.
When the drinks arrive, Marlo comments that they probably have a lot of sugar, so I guess she can eat fattening greasy fries, and a big fatty steak, but she can’t drink a Cocktail that might have a few extra calories.
The first dispute on the table, literally on the table, is Courtney and Kenya, and Courtney’s not really getting Kenya‘s problem with her, and what that whole “don’t touch me” thing was about.
It was stupid. Who cares. It blows over.
Sheree and Drew air out this who hasn’t paid this chef thing. So this one doesn’t exactly blow over, even though I think it’s more petty.
Now this fucking ‘She by Sheree’ cheap ass Shein crap merch that was supposedly given to them, at the end of the reunion last year, then swiftly taken back. Kandi, and the others do corrob this, but Sheree continues to deny it. I don’t get how you fucking get through a day, being this fucking petty. None of these bitches are hurting. None of these bitches are starving. They have plenty of hats, clothes, bags, and crap. Do they really need free shit that much?
And are things really that bad with Sheree, that she had to take it back?? She couldn’t let these bitches have some free cheap shit??
Last season we had a whole ass argument over $25 being owed to Drew’s makeup chick by Sanya. I don’t know about you. but I don’t tune in to watch a bunch of broke ass bitches arguing over 20 fucking dollars and a free $5.00 tote bag. Or I’d be watching the trailer trash on Married At First Sight,
They all chime in, and yes, they all had to return everything. except for Marlo. That was a stupid for-appearance publicity ritual.
Marlo and Sheree were chummy last season, and she’s the only one that kept her shit. What a coincidence, Sheree plays dumb about it. She knows this is true, but claims that it had ‘nothing to do with her?’
Nothing to do with her? Girl, it has everything to do with you! It’s your fucking products, and YOUR business!
Drew calls out Sheree about the chef lawsuit, and gets her to admit that it was a little tit for tat thing. Drew expresses how that seems strange, when you’re sponsoring this little forgive and forget, bury the hatchet and why can’t we all just get along – trip.
Sheree does seem a little blindsided by Drew speaking intelligently and making a point. As am I.
They continue to bicker about, I don’t even know what. Drew leaves the table crying.
Looks like from the previews, so not the norm, things get even less calm and surreal.
Remember this is all in the name of Sheree’s ‘health.’
