Here we go Season 3 kick-off. Not surprising, looks like Lisa and Meredith are still at odds after Lisa’s Kathy- Hilton-like diatribe last season against Meredith, EXCEPT that it was actually filmed and aired!! I forget what they were arguing about though.

On Beverly Hills, for one quick second I still am leaning towards they have the footage of Kathy’s meltdown, but aren’t airing to keep everyone guessing and talking about it. Maybe? Or she paid them off to not air it.

Previews tell us that thick- as -thieves, Whitney and Heather start to have a thing. I feel like Whitney is starting to get bored with twenty years older, Justin. Just a hunch.

They’re still sticking with this odd background music.

So filming started before Jen actually confessed and was convicted. I’m assuming it will be running when this happens. She confessed and took the plea deal in July. Sounds like she’s still maintaining her innocence.

Her sentencing is scheduled for November 22nd.

Doing a little Housewife trickery and fakery, by leading us to believe Lisa and Meredith are meeting up, but they are not. Rather Lisa is meeting Heather, and Meredith is meeting Jen.

So two very unlikely pairings for the mid day meal. What is going on in Salt Lake City?? Jen and Meredith are actually hot tubbing. I guess Jen needs an ally, and Lisa B needs a new friend.

You know I was flicking recently, and caught part of the season 1 episode, and Lisa was just terrible to Heather!

That whole thing with how Lisa and Heather went to the same college, and Heather telling the others that she remembers Lisa, but Lisa insisting that she had NO CLUE who she was, as if to say she wasn’t important enough to remember, but then proceeded to make insinuations that Heather was this ‘good time girl’ in college.

Which didn’t make sense, because if she had no idea who she was, and didn’t remember her, how did she recall her being slutty?

Whatever, Heather was really offended, and it was Lisa Barlow just getting off on being a mean girl biattchhh.

Meredith’s newest face is still reminding me of a younger, slightly prettier Catilin Jenner. I wish she would just stop already.

Jen and Meredith talk discsuss Lisa’s rant, which I think she meant every word of. There was talk the previous season when Meredith and Seth were on the outs, that she was sort of you know, putting herself out there. Way out there. To many guys.

Jen informs us in her yap, that her trial starts “in a month and a half” (March 2022) and she’s throwing Coach a birthday party.

(She plead guilty in July 2022.)

Heather sort of reminds me of the Beverly Hills Sutton. She’s just way so nice, TOO nice and wholesome. Lisa has treated her horribly, but goes running to have lunch with her when Lisa tells her that “she needs her.”

Needs her for what? A fake friend? Because she has nobody else?? Like Sutton with Erika, she needs to tell her to fuck off. She even refers to herself as the “bottom of the barrel.” Heather is so not the bottom of the fucking barrel. Why does she have such low self-esteem?

Is she the most glamorous Housewife of all? Maybe not, but she’s real. She tells it like it is without screaming and yelling like a lunatic. She’s not an idiot by far, not a fucking desperate for attention mean girl that gets off on peoples’ pain and humiliation She’s extremely successful and seemingly (seemingly – very important word when it comes to Housewives’ business endeavors) is running a legit extremely successful business.

Lisa goes right in telling her she “needs her to help her navigate with Meredith.”

She tells Heather that she tends to say what she’s feeling, and when Lisa tries that she’s the worst person on earth. Or something like that.

Heather looks like she’s taking the assignment very seriously. Heather reminds her that “she came for her family, and that’s the worst thing that you can do.”

I choose to accept the mission

Lisa is just like, well not really, I was a blind rage, whatever. I paraphrased, but she thinks this ‘blind rage’ reasoning excuses her, sort of.

Heather points out what the $64,000 question is, “is that how you really feel about Meredith?”

Lisa: “what do you think?” Heather: “I think that’s how you really feel about Meredith.”

Back and forth scenes, so back to the hot tub. Meredith’s bathing suit is cute. She’s recalling everything that Lisa said on her rant – such as she fucked half of New York. Meredith points out there are also rumors swirling about Lisa and her businesses, and she might be possibly having an affair.

Well I heard she fucked half of Utah so…

Heather keeps trying to give Lisa advice, that she DID ask for, let’s remember, and Lisa doesn’t seem to be receiving it well. In her yap, she’s acting like she’s okay with eating (more) humble pie.

Whitney’s daughter is writing ‘pros and cons’ about boys. She seems a little young to be making a list about what she likes and doesn’t like about boys. Also I’m not sure that notebook has enough pages for the ‘cons’ column.

I love Whitney’s top. She’s just casually hanging around the house in this? She’s doing too much face freezing.

Her daughter looks exactly like Justin.

I’m already tired of listening to the Mormon thing. Maybe I shouldn’t watch SLC then. Stupid question, is almost everyone living in Utah Mormon?

So the Roses’ built a speakeasy in their basement, since it’s even taboo to have a bar in your home?

This is going to be interesting when her kids get a little older. She did say the bookshelves lock, but teenagers can be very determined.

Another observation, thought Justin lost his job last year after that borderline porn scene was aired?

That I was watching with MY MOM – thank you very much! I was telling her about doing this blog, and was visiting her on SLC night, and asked if she wanted to watch the show with me.

Of course had to be the episode of Whitney prancing around in her thong, and cameras following them into the bedroom. My very conservative mom like freaked and left the room. Now she thinks all of the shows are people getting it on, and that’s what I write about.

Anyway my point was I guess he found another one so they could add a secret room in their basement complete with hidden book shelf doors,

Whitney is on a “healing journey.” She says that one of the big ‘wounds’ she has is the Mormon Church, and she’s ready to close that chapter of her life.

I guess this is confusing me because I thought she was already like ousted and not practicing Mormonism anymore? When she cheated on her husband with Justin, who was also married?

Remember that whole story? I thought I recalled that being the whole thing?? Also she drinks like a fish.

Well guess I had that all wrong because she wants to now extricate herself from the church. I’m not sure how all of that works. Last year I did do a little ‘research’ on this faith, but I need to refresh.

I do recall the creator of the church/cult had a relationship with and married a fourteen year old girl, and it sort of is controversial to live your life what this guy said you should be doing 200 years ago.

I was kind of surprised that Emily on OC, was okay with her daughter getting baptized into this, sort of controversial church/cult. Seems more like a cult to me than a religion or church.

Apparently this concept of “being removed from the list and extricated” is a big big thing. Heather asks her what changes in her day to day life if she does this? Heather seems conflicted about Whitney wanting this for herself.

I finally realized it’s a fucking cult and I’m over it!!

It’s all about the release, nothing really changes in her day to day.” She goes on to explain, and this is kind of a freeing thing for her to do, and doesn’t want her kids caught up in these beliefs.

Also by not having her name removed, she says, that they keep tabs on you, and sort of spy? And she thinks simply signing this form, will stop all of that? Yeah I don’t mean to sound skeptical, but I really don’t think by signing this documents she printed from ‘unmormonme.com’ is a reliable way for these freaks to stop spying on their members.

Heather, even though not practicing, is still “on the list.” She goes into this whole thing where she’s getting all choked up, that if she takes herself off the list, she feels that would be the final knife in their back, and make her a bad daughter. Even though her dad is passed away, and her mother is not speaking to her. Don’t even tell me this isn’t a fucking cult, and they don’t brainwash these people. This is sick.

Listening to the way she talks about it, it really is like they’ve been brainwashed into believing this really means something. And has any bearing on their life.

They get all overly dramatic with the official printing and signing of the document. Done and hope to not hear about it again.

Jen’s new downsized ‘chalet.’ Which is not really ‘her’ chalet, and not really a ‘chalet’ but what the fuck ever Jen Shah. This isn’t France. And you don’t own these homes.

I just think it’s really sketchy and strange to rent this huge house instead of buying.

Paying into high 4 or even 5 figures per month FOR RENT?? We know why now they rent. So it proves my point.

Like these people would certainly rather be homeowners. What’s the reason they can’t apply for a mortgage and buy their own home? Because there’s something they’re hiding, or have shit credit.

My point is proven with Jen and Coach Shah. Jen’s scammy income was and unverifiable.

Same with Meredith – why are they renting a huge house instead of buying? It makes it seem like they’re hiding something. You also shouldn’t go onto a reality show if you’re up to shady dealings.

Anyway, Jen has to call the homeowner to work the fireplace.

Who all wants to throw up in their mouths, listening to her complain and flail her arms around in her yap, and do that thing she does with her head and neck, “I went from 9000 SF house to, half of that, from a Barbie Dream House closet, to a normal sized closet.”

When we now know she has plead guilty to running her scam and ripping people off for a living.

Even before she finally threw in the towel and plead guilty this summer, it was quite obvious she was. She even has the nerve to show a pic of her crying in front of her closet, and complain about downsizing the Shah Squad.”

Now she’s bitching she doesn’t have people at her beckon call to do basic tasks for her, or to help her scam senior citizens out of their SSI???

I cannot even.

Can you even imagine having the amount of gall and audacity in your pinky toe, that these bitches have?? She just doesn’t give a shit. She goes on and on playing dumb and acting like this is a minor inconvenience.

I think she has been thinking that this will all just go away. Similar to you know who on Beverly Hills.

Coach requests a coffee, and she acts like she can’t work the Keurig.

Guess this is what poor Jen Shah has been reduced to. A fireplace that doesn’t work, and sitting around a 4500 SF house in comfies, having to wait on her husband. Can’t wait til the bitch is behind bars. Wonder if the fireplace will work – in prison??

For some reason though, I’m having this crazy feeling she’s going to be getting off easy. Hope I’m wrong.

She is having this birthday celly at her friend’s bougie home since she now has this embarrassing 4500 SF house. She gets all Erika Jayne on us –

I’m used to hosting parties at MY house!” Well that ship has sailed, lady! Get over it. You’re goin to JAIL!!! Clink Clink!

They discuss his party theme is ‘Harlem Nights.’ But the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ALL, for his birthday party, is that oooohhhhh – she’s inviting John and Lisa because “Coach would want John there.” Sounds more like he does not really give a shit if John is there or not, nor does he want his birthday being used as a platform for someone to confront somebody, do that shit somewhere else!

Is this dude acting right now or just THAT slow? That’s the whole reason for the party chump!! Pay attention ! Oh, and his birthday.

They discuss the trial being seven weeks away, March 22nd. So I guess we’re only in January at this point? Didn’t seem like Januaryish Utah weather when the ladies were hot tubbing away, outdoors. Maybe it was a random warm day.

She informs us that she’s last defendant left still going to trial, because everyone else has plead guilty to get their plea bargains. But GADdammit Jen is holding out !! She seems still so delusional, and in denial that she did anything wrong and will be getting convicted.

Like to sit there with a straight fucking face, and admit that all of your employees have plead guilty. What reason would they have to do that unless they know what they were doing was wrong.

I’m not going to take a plea deal when I’m not guilty, I’m innocent” Well that hasn’t aged well.

She’s scared, but not thinking of herself, but her family. Okay then, Jen, stop talking. STOP TALKING.

Meredith and Seth make cracks about Lisa’s comments that Seth changes jobs every five minutes. So is this a new rental for them? Meredith is commenting about “getting situated here.”

She claims in her yap that she and Seth are enjoying empty nesting and “could own multiple homes if she wanted to.” So she just WANTS to throw thousands of dollars away every month paying rent and constantly have to move. No.

We just LIKE to throw thousands of dollars away per month on rent!!!

She goes into hardcore bitching about Lisa, and how Seth’s ‘4,000 employees’ could be impacted by what she said.

What does Seth do for a living? Well what does John Barlow do for a living besides follow Lisa around?”

That’s actually a good one. Seth is funny. It actually does seem true, and I wondered the same fucking thing. It seems like he’s her personal assistant. Poor guy. Meredith wonders why, if they own this distillery in Mexico, why haven’t the ever gone to Mexico?? And also how are they living this lavish lifestyle if their company isn’t making any money??

Meredith claims she has learned this through SEC documents. They were ‘crowd funding’ for their businesses. Which is this, I looked it up, I didn’t know either.

Crowdfunding is a way of raising money to finance projects and businesses. It enables fundraisers to collect money from a large number of people via online platforms. Crowdfunding is most often used by startup companies or growing businesses as a way of accessing alternative funds”

I do want to say though that this from the SEC thing, info that she’s claiming is the gospel – doesn’t necessarily mean her or their company isn’t making a profit.

These Housewives crack me up getting ready to go out! They literally act like they think they’re Marilyn or something.

Whitney having a dude literally playing with her boobs as he’s ‘dressing her’ like she’s a toddler. With two other ‘staffers’ I assume looking on. Like she can’t DRESS herself?

Jen Jailhouse Shah of course has her peeps fawning all over her, getting her all glammed for Coach’s birthday.

Whitney is attending solo – Justin is ‘working’ supposedly, on a Saturday night? He had an event? Hmmm fishy. I tried to find what he’s doing for work now that he lost his job with the MLM vitamin thing,

Lisa and her assistant arrive. She is still “loving that.” Meredith and Seth arrive.

Lisa orders her whipping boy to fetch her a drink.

Heather is into Sharrieff ’s friend. She’s always into his friends. We need to find her a good man of color. She’s a fucking catch!

Heather is quoting Mormonisms as to why Meredith should forgive Lisa. Please.

Sharieff is so fucking sweet. Like I cannot imagine a dude or anybody having my back like this.

I couldn’t get anyone, anyone, to have my back like this, and be this loyal, when I was doing NOTHING wrong, let alone someone kissing the ground I walk on, when I was running a scam business and stealing from people. Go fucking figure. Your family and your partner are SUPPOSED to have your back like this, even when you make mistakes. (If you want to call lying and stealing from innocent people, mainly senior citizens on SSI, a ‘mistake.’ Oops.)

Maybe he’ll be single soon and on the market. I’ve never been to Utah. And he’s cute! And he’s sweet! And if can deal with Jen, he could certainly deal with me. I can get excited, but not like her!

He can’t imagine not having his wife by his side. Awwww. Guys only want me “by their side” so they can use and abuse me. Whatever. Who cares.

That cake looks bomb!

Will there be cake in jail ???

Seth and John have an awkward convo. Lisa tells Heather and Whitney she’s not approaching Meredith tonight. They agree to NOT do that.

They discuss the first SLC HW trip, It’s Scottsdale or bust, for the first SLC screaming fest of the season.

Despite just discussing how she’s NOT approaching Meredith, she approaches Meredith. I guess it’s opposite day. Jen did just say she’s innocent, so yeah maybe?

She tells her she wants to schedule a time to talk. Meredith wonders why now when she’s had two months to talk to her. Meredith just says “we can talk at some point.”

Lisa decides she needs to approach Seth. She thinks Seth might be easier. He’s not. She can’t believe she said those things, she doesn’t feel that way about Meredith, “like I don’t, like I don’t.”

Hey Seth how’s it going? YOU’LL forgive me right??

Lisa’s pulling out the stops, she resorts to her ugly cry face, her fake cry that is usually gone a split second after it starts. She has to throw John in there, how he’s telling her it’s going to be okay. We all know, he tells her what she wants to hear, when he’s not following her around, that is.

Show some mercy – I’m resorting to two second ugly cry face!!!

Social Media viewers loved this scene of Lisa begging, and pretty much expecting Seth’s validation for her rant, and just forgive her and say okay, let’s move on.” Seth however is just NOT.

She forgets she’s not talking to John, who just agrees with whatever she says.

Seth however is just NOT.

She says “does that make sense??” when trying to defend herself by saying “everyone on the van on the way down was like she’s not your friend, she’s not your friend…”

Seth: “Nope doesn’t make sense”

Are you soon done??

The tears have already gone away. She thought they would work. She gave it a college try.

So she really thought a fucking dude was going to say, “Ohhh wait, the girls were telling you she wasn’t your friend?? well yeah !! That makes perfect sense now!” Does she realize she’s talking to a dude?? Dudes don’t follow this shit.

John is lurking, not following her, just lurking. But, he’s supporting her by being nearby, so that’s sweet.

She goes into having four sisters, and no one understands what that has to do with this. She needed to keep this short. But she’s insisting on rambling and then the infamous Housewife excuse line:

I have MY stuff going on too.”

I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts about the episode – do we think Meredith and Lisa will reconcile??

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