Didn’t know Whitney and Jutin also lived in San Fran back in the day?
And Whitney shaved her head why? Because she was bored and lonely because Justin was always working and wanted to say ‘fuck you.’
I’m no math mathematician but she was 30 when she did this by the way if it was ten years ago.
I guess Brittany Spears walked so she could run.
Whitney is chomping at the bit to bitch about Justin and tell Heather (aka the Bravoverse) that they’re splitting up.
She’s saying some really weird things regarding their age gap Like did someone hold a gun to her head and tell h er to cheat on her husband get knocked up and marry a man 18 years older?
Anytime a woman refers to their husband as ‘raising her’ it’s fucking weird and kind of ick.
The word ‘grooming’ is being thrown around in regards to their relationship but I don’t think so. It’s the tale as old as old as time, 40 something year old man of course wants a 20 something year old girl. Also the tale as old as time, the age gap is fun and cute in the beginning, but now she’s 40 and in her prime, and he’s pushing 60. It’s no longer ‘fun and cute.’ Now she’s married to an old man and he’s holding her back.
whit heather 1)
She was definitely dropping hints last season that she was bored and sick of being married. I think she’s using this drama with her skin care line, that I doubt was even that impressive, as an excuse honestly.
It’s BS when she say she didn’t know at this point if she was divorcing him. She knew.
Heather with her new boyfriend is probably like ‘sheesh what a buzzkill. Why is everyone dumping all of their marital problems on me?’
Secretly she probably enjoys that all of these marriages are ending. Bronwyn, Angie, Whitney. And it was almost Lisa, until John groveled and agreed to apologize on camera for telling her something that was 100% accurate about herself. And his delivery was SO gentle too.
I wish she’d set that man free. Free John Barlow!!
I think Heather gives Whitney good advice, but at this point I’m pretty sure her mind was made up.
******
They’re yachting, even though Angie got violently seasick on the BDDU trip. The ladies are annoyed Bronywn ‘flew in’ this kid she was banging.
It looks pretty warm out. I was there in July, and it was about 30 degrees.
No boys are ever allowed on Housewife girls’ trips, she should know that.
Everyone always gets salty. And guess who the first one is to whine about her man not being invited? (no one else wants their man there) Lisa of course. Yes we know ‘John would’ve flown in’ if you ordered him to do so, Lisa. He would’ve hated it but he would have followed his instructions.
I wish Bronwyn would stop saying she was ‘in finance’ when she was a fucking secretary.
I can’t believe none of these rude bitches call her out on that. Also is this where she got in trouble with the law?? That Todd bailed her out on?? That the records are ‘sealed’ and she can’t possibly DISCUSS it?? Now THAT’S bullshit!! If she is the accused party she can most definitely discuss it.
Honestly what IS with with the constant lip lining? It’s weird. Never have seen anyone do that in public. Maybe some gloss or a quick lip touch-up. Never liner. Even her bestie thinks she’s nuts.
Angie scolds her on her lip filler not being done in the correct top to bottom lip ratio.
Lisa tries to say her top lip is naturally that full. Just like she’s no where near menopause. At 53.
Angie is so mean to Lisa. I usually don’t like mean-girling, but I’m making an exception. It’s hilarious.
Lisa and Meredith are cooking up some little performance scheme, STRAGEGY, if you will, for the event.
Meredith as a DJ is absurd.
Lisa says the most off the wall things, where you think she has to be joking, but she’s not.
Shes ‘glad’ she doesn’t have a ‘Broadway’ voice and she’s more like Beyonce? So in other words you’re glad you can’t really sing?
This woman is reality TV gold because she has ZERO self-awareness, and ZERO idea she sounds insane. Meredith is looking at her like she’s an idiot. Again.
Back to the boat, Bronywn reflects on her marriage to Todd and how saddened she is that it’s over. Sort of. Not really.
Sure you are Bronwyn. She’s goin’ to miss one thing and one thing only about that grumpy nerdy old man. I’m sure she will be taking him to the cleaners.
If SHE says Todd ‘raised her’ I am going to lose my shit. She seems ready to move on.
Angie gets seasick as they get back to the dock. Is she puking like right on the boat?
I didn’t catch this myself, but I saw it replayed somewhere:
Bronwyn tells them that the disco bar at the hotel is her “favorite disco bar.” Like how many disco bars can there be, that she’s even been to in her lifetime? It’s not really a regular thing. So even that sounds weird.
Then in her yap she says she had just learned there was a disco bar in their hotel.
She’s so dumb. She’s one of those people that gets off on telling meaningless random lies.
Clearly she’s never even been to this hotel and she’s trying to pretend she’s a regular.
It’s flying around social media that she paid this kid $15,000 to come to San Francisco to pretend that he’s her boyfriend
So the disco party gets underway at Bronwyn’s FAVORITE disco bar that she just found out existed.
I forget what this party is supposed to be about? Only on Housewives do people throw parties in honor of themselves constantly. At any rate, it’s all of her friends from San Fran mingling with her SLC friends, and she thinks this is the biggest deal ever.
For being so happy to be ‘free of Todd’ she sure mentions him a lot.
Bronwyn sort of half-admitted by accident that she ‘bought’ Brandon when they were joking around at the yacht about all the things that she buys for herself. This chick is materialistic AF.
Heather is right. Todd is indirectly paying for Bronwyn to get boned by this guy and fly him around the globe, when she tries to make a joke about it.
Why are Meredith and Lisa taking her completely literally when Heather said ‘Todd pays for the boyfriend.’
Are they on the autistic spectrum or something? I’m not making fun of the disorder, but they DO take what you say 100% literally. I just realized someone that has been in my life for several years is also autistic. Now I’m sounding like I think everyone is autistic.
Now I get it. It’s really sad because he’s undiagnosed.
I get Heather’s confused expression when she’s not understanding why they’re not getting the joke.
Is he online with his credit card ordering plane tickets and reserving hotel rooms? No, but Bronwyn lives off of Todd’s money, and ‘Bronwyn’ is paying for all of these trips. I guess is penniless. Todd is footing the bill.
This is NOT hard.
Meredith goes on and on in her yap as if Heather was being literal. It’s kind of funny.
So Bronwyn went the opposite route this time. Young and Broke.
And she dresses him too? I guess she was going for a 70’s Leif Garret look.
Lisa and Meredith prepare for their little ‘hypocrisy and bullshit’ skit.
Lisa looks like Pam in Urban Cowboy.
What is WRONG with Lisa and Meredith? They’re acting like the fucking Bobbsey twins repeating after each other.
Maybe I’m onto something with the autism thing.
Meredith tries to mimic Lisa’s dancing and get in sync with her but can’t seem to. The whole thing is bad. I know they thought this was cute and funny, it’s just not. Neither one of them have the sense of humor to pull it off.
And what hypocrisy and BS are they even referring to? I don’t even remember what it is they’re bitching about.
No one told them that the entire franchise is now ‘hypocrisy and bullshit.’ The whole premise of the shows are now based on them getting mad at each other for the very fucking shit they also do. Constantly.
Their little pathetic white girl ‘rap’ should be the intro for ALL Housewife shows. Make it The Real Housewives anthem. I’m onto something!
Sung by someone not tone deaf preferably.
There’s a mixed reaction in the crowd. The followers are chanting after them as ordered.
The people that can think for themselves stare blankly at them like they’re nuts, looking very confused.
Bronwyn takes it extremely personally and starts to cry. Or fake cry.
If she had a sense of humor, she’d just laugh it off. Especially when they basically made fools out of themselves.
Heather accuses them of “misjudging the room.” Also an autistic trait.
They maintain to Ashley or Quai, or whatever the hell her name is, that it was funny.
If they wanna talk about hypocrisy, both of them would FREAK THE FUCK OUT if Whitney and Heather did something like this at their function.
Production asks Lisa in her yap exactly WHAT is she mad at Brownyn for to write a whole ass song and perform a skit about her in public, calling her names.
Lisa seems to be grasping for a logical answer. She looks a little deer in the headlights.
Is it seriously the ‘strategizing’ comment? That Britani actually said? She denies it was aimed at Brownyn but she’s lying. More ‘hypocrisy.’ There are so many jokes and oxymorons there. Or just morons.
Bronwyn and the ladies throw them out. I like the ‘ugly stepsisters’ reference.
Well we thought they left. Lisa takes the mic again, needing more attention and validation.
I will hand it to her. She definitely has self-confidence.
I thought this was a roomful of Bronwyn’s lifelong friends? But they’re all chanting along with these two??
