Preparing for the worst and hoping for the best, not to be cliché.
But I cannot stand Sandy The Creeper. I will try my best to hold my negative commentary.
Well maybe not my best.
I will try to not make fun of her as much.
At least she’s not lurking around corners spying on the young girls anymore and constantly bitching at the stews for no reason whatsoever because she has a creepy crush on them, and can’t have them.
You know like a ten year old boy on the playground will make fun of a girl he likes. Kind of like that.
She was horrible to Hannah for this reason and do not tell me I’m wrong. Because I’m not.
Nathan is back as bosun. Forgot he ended up with that chick that he treated like shit and they’re having a baby. Or had it by now I guess. Our second Below Deck Baby! How exciting!
Looked it up and they had a boy in June.
I guess we need their flight itinerary and airport drama. As we now know we have a new Below Deck producer/editor chick who thinks this is what we want to see.
Barcelona is ‘home’ to Sandy she claims even though she was there briefly a few years ago and hasn’t been there since 2009. She’s such a dick.
Aesha has been a staple under Captain Creepy for a few seasons now. I’m okay with Aesha. She’s a little bit of an acquired taste. She gets a little too overly excited about everything.
If Sandy has a little crush on her, she’s at least learned to control it unlike she did with Hannah.
New boat – Bravado. Brand new chef from England. Forgot about that French Max dude with extreme ADD and was all over the place two seasons ago. He claims to have his head on straight now.
He did one of these Bali trips and now he’s a new man he claims. He still seems hyper and weird.
Everyone arrives except a deckhand and Nathan who both have food poisoning from the hotel they were staying at. Seems curious.
Seems like a key person is always ‘held up’ for some reason on Sandy’s seasons. Either the bosun or chief stew. He doesn’t look that sick on the FaceTime call, I’m just saying.
Of course the drama caused by the leaders being held up is that the regular crew gets a little too used to being in charge, and it goes to their head.
We’re already getting set up for some laundry drama. Now to be clear I did say I missed a LITTLE laundry drama on the last Below Deck season. I don’t want it to turn into the whole entire thing on every episode.
On Below Deck, it seemed like the crew handled their own laundry to be honest. Which is what I’ve always said should happen. So no one was pissing and moaning about their clothes.
And please, no Laundry Burn Books.
Sandy breaks it to the crew that they are missing their Bosun and one crew member due to ‘food poisoning.’
I don’t think Nathan is up for Bosun. I think he’ll be struggling.
Sad about the stew’s boyfriend. I couldn’t help but notice she kept smiling as she was detailing how he drowned a year ago. Maybe it was just a nervous smile.
Right on queue you see Max who two seasons ago didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground suddenly decides he’s a ‘leader’ and he can step right up to bossing the other deckie around.
Natural leader my ass. He quickly starts nitpicking and bossing the other guy, Christian around.
He then goes into a very disturbing diatribe about how he leads with fear and compares himself to a King Louis XVI revolutionary, and he wants to kill everyone in his path.
One might say ‘he was clearly kidding, dry European sense of humor’ but I don’t know.
But he’s also not the brightest bulb so it does kind of worry me this would this would be something he ‘jokes’ about.
Nate is over his ‘food poisoning’ (wonder what food poisoned him – he doesn’t say) and arrives just in time to kick the psycho King Louis era revolutionary off of his pretend thrown, and keep him from throwing everyone into a guillotine
The absent food poisoned deckhand arrives and of course it’s a hot blonde girl.
Definitely Sandy’s type so you now she’s going to be praising and love bombing her non-stop. Oh no wait Bravo told her to knock that creepy shit off. Because why? Oh it’s disturbing.
Guests arriving. I feel like this episode is moving. So. Good.
We don’t need all of the crew’s life stories. Although I’m sure that’s coming.
Now Sandy says she’s lived in Barcelona “for YEARS.”
Previously she said four years. You can see how you would get that confused. Not to nit-pick, but I don’t think four years qualifies as ‘YEEEEEEARS.’
That context usually means several years. Not four. I like the half-blur of her Spanish ex-girlfriend.
She trusts Nathan and she knows he can do this. I don’t know that he can do this.
Tessa has some sort of rope snafoo. Nate refers her to the engineer and says he’s too busy to deal with it. Already he’s an arrogant prick. If you saw his previous season you shouldn’t be surprised.
So I guess Gael isn’t knocked up yet by this point. I forget they film about a year before airing on Below Deck usually. Housewives is like six months.
Nathan seems to be a little overly confident in my opinion. I’ve heard of fake it ‘til you make it. But you have to actually make it.
I’m not a big fan of Nathan. Maybe you can tell.
If you remember Max from two seasons ago, he didn’t like to take direct orders. So you would assume not much has changed. I’m sure his enlightening zen Bali experience didn’t do much to change that.
Nate orders the water toys be launched since lunch is wrapping up, and that does not suit Max’s relaxed French schedule.
He starts with the guillotine bit again.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t even know what those are.
It’s kind of a cluster fuck getting the jet ski’s out but it is first charter. And Nate seems to be more into bitching than actually leading and supporting.
The crew is already noticing that. Like just do it, figure it out! I’m here doing important things. He’s that kind of ‘leader.’
Dinner gets underway.
There was drama getting the jet ski’s out so naturally there’s drama putting them away.
One of them escapes.
The guests are watching all of this. The crew looks like a bunch of fucktards.
Nate already admits to being overwhelmed.
Sandy tries to help Christian and Nathan put the jet ski away and it slams into the fucking boat. And then again.
Here’s Nathan bitching about everyone not being able to do their job and meanwhile he can’t do his fucking job. Dumb ass. I told ya. He has no clue how to work that remote thing to hoist the jet ski.
Looks like Kazzi will be the new boat ho.
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