Missed recapping last week. Very sorry. Getting kind of behind again.
Last week ended with Dorito and Vyle looking like they were going to rip each other’s faces off because oh my God – PK and Vyle are texting each other.
And I don’t believe for one damned second it’s “just memes and jokes.”
Also when a dude or anyone really is trying to start a texting and speaking rapport (in hopes of more) doesn’t it often start out as small talk, or ‘memes and jokes?’ Also Kyle, what’s the subject of the memes and jokes?
Give us a break Kyle. It’s not appropriate. You can’t tell me they’re not being flirty and that he’s not bitching about Dorit.
Dorito needs to fuck ‘Mo’ and get on it (no pun intended) stat.
Kyle is making some pretty hideous and odd facial expressions as this spat continues and escalates.
Is PK really worth looking this ugly?
Do you think Mario even gives two fucks PK is ‘texting’ Kyle? Are we in high school? Mario I’m sure is thinking ‘take her.’
Garcelle randomly asks Dorit “how are YOU doing?” as this thing seems to die down finally. I don’t think it’s genuine but I don’t really care.
Dorit bails. Kyle acts befuddled. She continues to defend herself that communicating with PK on a regular basis is perfectly fine.
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Sutton hosts a little tennis get-together with Kyle and Garcelle. Kyle confirms what I said, Mario couldn’t care less that she is friends with PK.
To be fair, he does want to get with Dorit so I guess he’s thinking that’s hypocritical to complain that she’s talking to PK. It’s hard to believe a dude would have a hard time sounding like a hypocrite but I just think it’s a testament to how much he wants rid of Kyle. Which is KIND of sad given how long they’ve been together, but kind of not, because it’s Kyle.
I almost forgot we’re not allowed to point out that Mario cheated on Kyle. Sutton brings up ‘infidelity’ and Kyle completely stonewalls that comment.
Thought Bravo was cracking down on her sharing her real life and not fucking lying.
Not to mention she was scissor-kicking with Morgan Wade, a girl the age of her daughters, which she also denies.
Who?? What?? Where? When?? Sounds a little like overcompensating your feigned confusion Kyle. Jesus. Get a fucking grip.
The dumb bitch literally eluded to his cheating at last year’s reunion?? Is she slow??
She’s acting like it was just an Instagram issue of Mario liking or commenting or some bitches’ post. Is this broad for real??
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Does anyone really care that Erika is redecorating her pool house?? Didn’t think so. Lady is this your story line? Yikes.
Listening to Erika still continue to brag about her old life and spending Tom’s money is so goddamned tacky.
When exactly is this gold-digging fucking ho going to comprehend that her extreme spending addiction lead to the depletion of his wealth and the demise of his law firm?
I think she really thinks if she just ACTS like she wasn’t the cause of it, she’s not.
And yes Tom is to blame for his shady dealings and theft to keep up with her spending, I’m not saying he’s not, but it’s fair to say they’re BOTH to blame.
She announces how unfair it is that the ‘second ex’ pulled up in a moving truck and emptied out the house and SHEEEEEEEE didn’t get to do that! SHEEEEE just took some plates and cups!!!
Girllll you left him with NOTHING but the shirt on his back!!
She’s proud of herself that she only took some dishware after she bankrupt the poor old geezer. The stupidity if this woman to really think we don’t all see this.
She sounds like a fucking fucktard and a half.
This redecorating of her rental is just so meaningful to her and surreal after all that SHE’S been through, what with bankrupting her husband and his business and having him steal his clients’ law suit winnings to pay for her dumb ‘concerts’ and hideous clothes.
Poor Erika.
I don’t get this newfound love affair with Dorit and Erika. It seems a bit manufactured.
And WHAT exactly is this that she is wearing?
She whines about the texting saga. Is this going to go on all season??
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Boz really thinks she wants to have a baby in her late 40’s with this dude?? I hope she froze her eggs. Or I hope she’s kidding actually.
I don’t think you should have a child together if your combined age is almost 100 years old.
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Kyle drops in on Boz post-fibroid surgery. Surely she’s not going to piss and moan about Dorit to her and her comment about breaking girl code at the Viper.
Of course she is!!
She starts defending herself immediately. She is not THAT girl. She would never ever do anything that’s soooo inappropriate.
Only you are, so… like put a fucking lid on it.
Boz shares that Dorit thinks she should be privy to the text messages.
Although I am on Dorit’s side, I think that’s a little ridiculous.
But we’re stuck with listening to this because it seems to be Kyle’s pathetic desperate story line to keep from talking Mario’s cheating and their separation. I guess it’s working. She’s managed to be the ‘main character’ and is in every single fucking scene talking about these fucking ‘memes and jokes.’
Remember she is the one that casually announced all of this to Garcelle to get the whole thing going, and Dorit cranked up.
Kyle whips out her phone showing Boz the post-fake robbery pic from three years ago when Dorito forgot herself and got a little cozy with Mario as they were all embracing, even kissing his shoulder. Yes, through his shirt but still… Weird.
She’s completely distraught and gets and WITH her husband included in the embrace, she snuggles his shoulder and kisses it?? Okay.
It was weird. Not to mention they were pretty flirty in Aspen that season too. Or the following maybe but I do have the pics I can dig up. Sorry but Mo was clearly crushing on Dorit and I think it was mutual.
So is Kyle’s point that this is some sort of payback??
And Mo and Dorit rumors were bothering her? And that looks to be the source of the tension in their friendship over the past few years, which is what I’ve suspected. That was sort of eluded to at the reunion last season.
And here we go again, Erika and her tone-deafness of whining she didn’t get a ‘consolation pizza party’ when she separated from Tom.
I can’t. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse at this point.
Erika had NO CLUE I am sure that Kyle, Garcelle and Sutton were showing up.
They’re surprising her with something! What?? Whatever can it be? I’m on the edge of my seat!
Chuck E Cheese of course! Are those still even around??
There are games, there’s garlicky pizza! There’s hokey music! Don’t forget the drug needles in the ball pit, and most of all, if you have like 600 game tickets, you can get a piece of candy!! Or a pencil!
Erika tries hard to sell us how much she loves her pool house condo rental. It’s not her ‘forever home’ you know. She just needs to snag another loaded old dude for that.
These shady Bravo producers…
Why does she act like we don’t know this???
Still NO remorse. Nothing about feeling bad for the people he stole from she so could run around pretending that she’s Madonna. A worse singer than Madonna, at that.
Kyle likes to pretend that she and Mario are getting back together and she needs to realize that ain’t happening. Their scenes together have been so awkward. He can barely stand to look at her. He talks to her so fake.
Garcelle tells her to be a lesbian if that’s what she wants.
Another part of her life she’s been sweeping under the rug as if it didn’t even happen.
Erika brings up her convo with Dorit about the what else?? Text messages!!
Again Kyle whips out her phone and presents what looks like a screen shot of a message, as opposed to the actual text string. Hmmmm that’s curious she would do that.
But even weirder the message she decides to present is one that does seem a little cozy and too friendly. It’s definitely not a ‘meme.’
I guess her point is her reply for him to just keep sending her memes. As if to ignore the part about confiding in him.
I really want to stop saying memes.
Garcelle drops in on Boz. Everyone is annoyed about taking off their shoes.
You know I don’t even blame at all that Garcelle hates Dorit.
Dorit is so infamous for treating Garcelle the worst out of anyone and making borderline-racist comments. I’m assuming this is why they assigned Boz to her, as if to say ‘See?? She’s not racist!! Now not only is her mom’s best friend black, and her help is black, but she has a black friend!! Way to go Dorit!’ If you recall, I’m referencing the horrible comment she made about three seasons ago when she tried to claim she’s not racist.
Speaking of memes I was on a meme-making kick for like a week and made one on it like three years ago:
I love how Garcelle proclaims to Boz “last night Kyle read the text.”
THE text. As if that’s the one lone text message. And if there was just this one non-meme message, than why screenshot it?? You could see her camera roll at the bottom of the screen.
Not sure why no one pointed this out at Chuck E Cheese’s.
Not to mention why would he say, “I won’t say anything, I never have.” This totally shows she has been confiding in him. So there WERE intimate conversations.
She tells on herself. But again, this does keep the focus off of her separation with Mario, and his cheating, and her lesbian affair.
