Real Housewives of OC 8/1/24 – Taxidermies and Martinis

In Tamra’s tag line intro thing, her background peeps are Eddie, her mom, Ryan and Sophia. I guess none of them could attempt to look like a family unit at all. No one even touches each other. Come on – no one bites, at least I don’t think so.

Terry and Heather are such snobby assholes. “Can you pick out her house from here” standing in their penthouse kitchen.

This is how we pretend to point at things.
And think I see Kanye’s house over there!

This scene looks like their Disney pose that just happened to be caught by the paps. Maybe that’s what they were doing at Disney, looking for their house.

Fucking dip shits.

And these two LIVE to name drop. They have to make sure to announce it’s near Drake’s house. Not really sure what’s exciting about that, unless you’re a thirteen year old girl. If ever there were a couple on the planet that is exactly alike and two-of-a-kind and deserve each other, it’s these two.

We have to listen to her drone again about her multiple homes. They have a fake stupid typical Heather and Terry type convo.

Who cares.

I see he’s still sucking her butt hole due to his you know – CHEATING – that we’re supposed to act like we don’t know about. Heather, we know.

Still irks me, sorry, it does.

Not the stroke again. Pretty sure Heather looked at that as his karma. I guarantee you 100% that was said by her to him. No question.

In true Heather fashion, she gives herself accolades and praise and says she’s proud of herself for using that incident “as a way to help other people.”

Everything I do is amazing.

I can’t. I literally can’t with her. Does she hear herself??

Then Terry brags about their incredible life. Didn’t I tell you? Fucking two-of-a-kind

******

Girls’ night out minus Shannon. Of course Shannon’s not invited, Tamra brags. Is there going to an upcoming season where Tamra gets iced out and mean girled to death?? This is her second season since her return of being the Mean Girl Ring Leader. I’m sick of it. She’s become the Kyle Richards of the OC and it’s annoying AF.

And what’s with this stupid saloon get-up she has on in her yap? When did she become this ‘country girl’ is what I want to know. They’re taking Gina out because she’s ‘depressed’ that her boyfriend is a loser and she had to throw his sorry ass out of her house.

I’m in my saloon girl era right now.

Emily and Tamra piss in Katie’s landscaping when they pick her up in the party bus. Didn’t we pee before we left the house? Didn’t their mothers teach them that? Oh yes that’s right, I forgot, Emily’s terrible awful mom who suffered a mental illness, made her get ready for school herself, so she I’m sure she didn’t get around to that either.

These bitches are fucking gross. That is skanky and fucking trailer parky to piss in someone’s front yard.

Tamra’s now into dive bars, since she’s seemed to change her entire persona and we don’t know why. This is probably going to be bad because Tamra is desperate for attention since her husband is gay and hasn’t had sex with her in five years.

Can’t we stop with this ridiculous slo-mo shit every damned time they enter an establishment?

Don’t think this is an ‘espresso martini’ type of place. There are goddamned dead animals on the wall. It’s a fucking Coors Light kind of place.

Don’t worry – the saliva is free!

This bartender is probably laughing his ass off at these dumb bitches They try to be funny but he is not amused.

I can guarantee you these drinks were ALL spat in. Ironic sort of, that Tamra made the mucus joke in reference to the edible 2024 signs that Heather had in her drinks at her stupid party.

Tamra, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there was literal mucus in your drink. This dude is not fucking around with these espresso martini’s, which don’t even look like espresso martini’s.

Oh well, what doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger! You know, toughen up the ole’ immune system!

They look like chocolate milk. I cannot even fathom how terrible they are. Tamra must like it though, she’s literally chugging it. Shannon has an alcohol problem though, not her.

Shannon needs to stop drinking, that way there’s more for me~

They gossip about Heather and the Disney photos. I want to say here that having a screen shot of her friend replying ‘yes’ to the question of Katie asking if they called the paps, isn’t really proof.

Now a screenshot of Heather’s message telling the paps this was where she was going to be this time, then yes.

Katie, I’m unimpressed. She’s seriously going after Heather based on that as her proof? We all know she most likely did call them, but she’s also a fucking liar and never in a gazillion hears will admit to this, so stronger evidence would have been nice. Can’t the friend come up with the actual message or a recording of the phone call? Some friend that is.

They flash to the convo of Tamra letting Heather know that this is brewing, and she just says “think whatever you want.”

I was recently reading about queues and clues of statements and mannerisms when someone is lying, and saying ‘think whatever you want’ was on the list.

Why is Gina always pretending to be so concerned about Heather? She’s making an ass-kissing fool out of herself. Gina is stupid. She can make fun of Jenn all she wants.

She’s clearly projecting because she knows she’s not the sharpest crayon.

So the strange IG tagging comes up. Apparently Katie and Heather are not followers of each other, but Katie ‘liked’ a photo she had posted. Then I think Heather to be so totally Heather, tagged her in a subsequent photo as if to say, ‘oh you’re so obsessed with me, here’s another picture of me, I want to make sure you see it…’

That was exactly what she did. My question is, did she know that Katie was going to be a Housewife at that point? If so then it was probably intentional for story line purposes. Which is disappointing. Not surprising but disappointing.

Not the Jen Shah ‘my SM people did it’ excuse. That’s right up there with the ‘production made me look bad’ Housewife excuse.

I can’t believe these old bitches that just drank three martini glasses full of that dude’s loogies are seriously going to dance on the bar.

I can’t even fathom the hangover getting drunk on espresso marts made in a dive bar with fucking expired milk, cold Folgers and Vladamir vodka.

Gina’s doing her ass-kissing of Heather thing again, that she did two seasons ago, and scolds Katie for divulging the paparazzi photos. I’m assuming she wants more free shit. Maybe she wants to Air BNB in one of her homes with her loser guy since they can’t afford to pay for one. Oh that’s right, Gina an afford it with her wildly successful Real Estate career, but Travis cannot.

I wish Tamra’s and Emily’s husbands would pay attention to them for the love of all that is holy. This is sad.

Gina continues to be superrrrrrrrrr dramatic about Katie’s pap claim.

Think Heather will slip me a couple thousand if I pretend to overly concerned?

What the literal fuck Gina? I do not know which of her story lines is more pathetic. Being all worked up about Heather’s fucking feelings, giving Trav the boot, or the Realtor that was handing her a lead (for whatever reason that we don’t know) is mad at her.

In the order of the lunacy and fakery this is my opinion: Most ridiculous: the Realtor, second, worried for Heather, and third, kicking out Trav.

Heather is a big girl and can take care of herself, Gina. I really really promise.

Emily reassures her that Heather is going to ‘destroy’ Katie. Here’s a thought. Maybe Katie just does not care that much if she pisses off Heather. I love Housewives that do NOT kiss Heather’s ass.

******

Vickie drops in on Shannon who announces she has a staph infection. More than we needed to know. I’m unsure of where the yellow guck is coming out of her at, if not her lady parts? Either way, like euuwww.

They complain about the deterioration of The Tres Amigos and how Tamra just abruptly decided after Shannon’s DUI she was no longer interested. They want to form their own thing.

Poor Archie still looks traumatized.

Promise to never take me in your car again.

Jackass John wants his 75 grand back for paying for Shannon’s new face. Was is it a gift? Was it a loan? What was the discussion? Those are my questions.

Vickie lists things Shannon had paid for when they were together including ‘upgrades in flights’ (okay so that’s a bad example) clothing, and boat paraphernalia??

How dare he ask you for 75,000 when you bought him a shirt!!

This sounds like a weak argument that probably doesn’t touch 75 grand, Shannon but whatever, I’m on your side.

If he offered to pay for the procedure(s) I would say this is bullshit. I was under the impression last season when Heather divulged that Shannon had confided in her that she ‘paid for everything’ that she was paying for all dinner dates and trips, etc but not sure that’s the case.

Vickie asks if he works and Shannon doesn’t know. I thought he owned a business or something? What’s with these House Husbands and boyfriends that are seemingly successful but no one knows what they do or if they even have jobs?? It’s getting weird.

Vickie compares her relationship with Jackass John to hers with Brooks and there are parallels. Not sure Jackass is the shyster that Brooks was. Brooks was looking for a sugar mama, and Jackass John is just a mean nasty childish abusive piece of shit. That ding dong Alexis deserves him.

******

Poor little Jenn. All she wants is to live her best bougie life with her new dude she’s so in love with. She doesn’t want to be worrying about pesky finances. She doesn’t want bothered with knowing what he does for a living, or where the money is coming from to fund these trips and concerts.

And who’s minding the store when she’s galavanting around? She has five fucking kids. Yeah I think four of them are teens, but that’s kind of an issue too, leaving four teenagers alone.

So they’re off to Vegas, and she’s worried about what the judgy girls will think when she posts to IG about her weekend getaway.

I guess it would never occur to these twelve-year-old’s to maybe not post every single fucking thing you do?

Am I being too harsh thinking they’re so immature?

Why is Emily so obsessed with money? It’s getting so weird. Did she pick on and make fun of Gina like this when she was separated from Matt and didn’t have fucking shit?? No, she did not.

She’s going to be on WWHL this week and Andy posted on ‘X’ for questions and I asked if she’s concerned about what her daughter thinks of her taunting another woman for not having as much money as she has, and if she thinks that’s a bad example. We’ll see if it gets asked. I had a question a few years back that he asked on the show, and coincidentally, it was for Emily.

Jenn is such a salt-of-the-earth genuine person and I think Emily and Gina hate that about her. Which is FUCKED UP. Maybe instead of being jealous and vengeful, you two could work on yourselves and try to be better people?? Just a suggestion.

Why doesn’t she keep reminding these vile cunty hags that she has five kids, and every spare cent she has is spent on them, like any good mom does. I feel like that would shut them up.

And can you picture any of these other greedy selfish turds adopting a child? No, you can’t.

She divulges info about the rent for her yoga studio that adds to her money issues.

I think I disclosed last week, she did receive around a 200g settlement in her divorce (which isn’t really that much when you consider she has five kids and lives in Orange County) and around 5 or 6 grand per month in child and spousal support. Hoping she spends wisely. Not sure what’s going on with Ryan since he got busted in his baseball gambling scheme. And if she does marry him, the spousal support goes away.

******

Katie is planning a golf outing. Stay tuned for part 2 to see how that went!!

Gotta break this up again!

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