I missed summer house recaps the past few weeks. Has it really been a month ? The last one was on Feb 28th. Was having hard time playing catch up when I got back from Cally, where I did NOT go to the Quiet Woman, and I am still pouting. I am a Pouting Woman because I didn’t go to the Quiet Woman.
Drunk ass Luke and Drunk ass Austen were pretending to arm wrestle. Princess Amanda orders Kyle, who can barely walk nor talk, into the kitchen to have them “close up shop.” Austen is mesmerized by his ass.
Lindsay is banging some randy that she brought home last night.
Austen goes to his quarters as he was ordered, and looks like he’s ready to take a piss in the corner of his bedroom. He then literally falls onto his bed.
It’s morning, Lindsay and the randy are going at it again. Paige and Ciara discuss how annoying this is, because of the Austen drama. And if Lindsay was so into Austen why is she banging a stranger in the room next door. Probably fair question, I guess.
Mya seems to have come out of her shell now, that she put everyone on a guilt trip for ‘ignoring her’ because she’s black. Which was not happening. She is literally lying between Danielle and Robert in bed. But I guess if the ‘I feel so oppressed because the media is telling me that I am’ speech made her more open to hanging out more with everyone then, win win ?? I just feel bad she made poor Andrea (a European immigrant who could easily play the outsider card, however the media is not telling him to) feel so guilty about accidentally getting her name wrong. In the first ep she got all snippy with Carl for just asking how she knows Lindsay. Then she proceeded to act withdrawn. But whatever. Some black people are falling into this whole victim hood thing, (Mya) and some know it’s a political ploy, and do not give it the time of day. (Ciara)
Lindsay takes Luciano home. She says– “it her fucking birthday !!!! and if she wants to end it with a one nighter with Luciano from Argentina – she damn well will !!!”
Ciara needs to stop crying over this loser. I didn’t watch Winter House, and I guess I should have, but I’m seeing on Twitter that no one is feeling sorry for Ciara over the Austen shit, because she did the same thing to Lindsay in Vermont? Oh my God – I don’t know. She talks in her yap how she’s “over it” when she’s clearly NOT over it.
Kyle says that he and Amanda have had “an amazing weekend” (since they’re both still alive) but this prenup is looming, that he’s been thinking about for “years” (years? Haven’t they only been together like 4 or 5 years? And I doubt if he started thinking ‘prenup’ in the first few, so let’s not get carried away, – 1 or 2 years does not constitue “years…”) But whatever, he is a fucking moron, and bringing it up a month before the wedding. Amanda should have maybe seen this coming? But she was probably assuming since the nuptials are a month away, it’s a non-issue. She is of course not having it.
I get the ‘complication’ of her working with him in the business, but I don’t think it’s illogical of him to be concerned what she may be expecting should they split up. Especially given the volatility of their relationship. She goes on some rant about “sticking by his side through everything and if she didn’t believe in this, she would have left a long time ago.”
MMMkay Amanda, bless your heart, has nothing to do with a prenup to protect his business. Nothing. But due to her immaturity she thinks this actually makes sense. She does point out in her yap, that they’ve been engaged for three years, it’s a little stupid to bring it up now. I have to agree with her on that one. She says in her yap she’s “not signing anything until she sees what’s in it for her ?”
In all honesty, probably nothing. He IS the owner of the business, not her. The prenup is to protect him, not her. Again, due to her immaturity, she thinks that makes sense. She just doesn’t want to sign it because you know damned well, she’s gonna sick of his shit, (in about two years I predict) divorce him stick it to him, and expect half of Loverboy. Mark my words. They end with Kyle saying he’s going to “look into what is in a prenup and they’ll reconvene.” Does that make sense ? There’s no standard “what’s in a prenup.” It’s what you decide to put in it. He’s gonna get stuck with giving her lazy ass something, since he started it when they were together (I think) and she is an employee, and contributes, even minimally.
Carl and Mackenzie seem forced. I feel like they’re better as friends. I guess it is going to be fizzling soon anyway, since I think Carl and Lindsay go to the wedding together? Or hook up ? I don’t know, Lindsay is getting around this summer, I know that.
They depart for the week.
Mya is going on a date with the dude from the party that Danielle set her up with. She calls Ciara for some moral support who tells her to be “light and airy.” She says that’s “not even her aesthetic .” Yes we know, she’d rather be bitchy, uptight and bitter. Okay I don’t mean to pick on Mya. I do like her and think she is gorgeous.
He’s really cute. They’re cute. Apparently she’s really late, and the poor guy has been sitting there waiting, and didn’t even order himself a loosen up cocktail. They order margaritas. Can’t go wrong there. They are adorable together. They talk about their fave foods. Guess that’s a good fun not -too serious getting to know each other topic. They’re not eating. All of that food talk should be making them hungry. It’s making me hungry. They should go get something with sour cream. Lots of sour cream.
Amanda, Paige and Ciara meet up in the city for smoothies and pastries. Of course it doesn’t take too long for Ciara to start crying and bitching about Austen. Again. Still. Too ridiculous to even give more life at this point. Is this season winding down? I’m frankly done with it. Paige says too, like my Twitter, Bravo peeps, that she’s getting back at her for Vermont, when Lindsay liked Austen.
Craig/Paige scene. Whatever. They’re weird. Cringy convo about her meeting his parents, even though they’re not officially boyfriend and girlfriend. So juvenile.
Italian Night back at the house. Here we have a hot buff AF Real live Italian dude (not like Joe Gorga from Jersey, sorry Joe) making an Italian feast for everyone, along with of course, an Italian themed décor, to celebrate Ferragosto, a holiday in Italy, celebrated on August 15th. How did I never hear of this? I’ m a whole .25 Italian. If you are not familiar with it either, below is a link that tells you all about it. I stopped and replayed like 14 times when he said “festivity in Italy. See you CAN learn things from watching Bravo !!!
https://www.italymagazine.com/dual-language/ferragosto-italy-origins-and-traditions
So at what point did everyone notice that Alex was not present on this episode? I didn’t until I started seeing it on Twitter when i was originally watching the episode on Monday. As I’m rewatching now, right when they start talking about the hurricane, and the phones start going off, someone mutters “Alex isn’t coming.” It’s so low and in passing, (they don’t even show who says it, I think Lindsay ) Did he not come because of the hurricane warnings ? We don’t know. We’ll never know. He’s not really establishing a friendship with the guys, or hooking up with anyone, so I feel like he’s not going to be back. I’m wondering if he’s even going to be in any more episodes. They only showed him for a second the previous week. Poor Alex. Seems like a nice guy.
Hurricane warning in the Hamps. Real storm brewing, and Lindsay and Ciara chick fight brewing. Okay, this could get interesting. Lindsay complains to Mya and Danielle that Ciara should have come to her about her issue. Then they play the flash of Ciara actually asking her to talk, and Lindsay shutting her down. Danielle- always- up- her -ass, makes excuses for her behavior. “Lindsay is a casual make out person, it’s in her nature, Lindsay has had a rough year, It was her birthday.” “Lindsay is so great.” My God. Is Lindsay slipping her a 20? Jesus. Slow down.
Lindsay, honestly is just not a girl’s girl, and cares nothing about other women, and having relationships with other women. And you can talk it to death, and it will never ever change. She has struggled with the other women since the show started. Mya and Danielle even laugh at her saying she’s a “normal girl.” Yeah. no.
Carl talks about this new chick that I called he does not really have serious feelings for. He’s saying it’s because of risking his sobriety. I just don’t think he’s that into her.
Andrea discloses some chick broke his heart and he’s been sad. This whole convo is cracking me up. Carl says – “do you feel lonely?” This is so funny, dudes getting all into their feeling and shit. Not something you hear every day. Not sure if this is real or not ? Well at any rate, this chick dumped his ass, sounds like. (I wonder if he called her “Paige”) He goes on to explain in his yap, that he started thinking about Paige when it was getting close to summer and Hamptons Time, and therefore it “didn’t work out.” Carl asks him about Paige, and he gets all sad about the Craig situation, and says he lost both Lexi and Paige. Awwwwww. Poor Andrea. I just wanna hug him. Carl dude why didn’t ya give him a big old bro hug ????
This chick’s name is Lexi, which is what he called Mya on the beach when she freaked out. Apparently he was thinking of her in that moment. Of course that “triggered” Mya. Insert eye roll here on “triggering.”
Mya of course, who is more loyal to Ciara, than Lindsay, tells Paige and Ciara about the convo where Lindsay just does not care. I don’t even know whose “side” to be on with this. I’m Switzerland. Mostly because I just don’t give a shit.
Paige tells Ciara to bring out her “inner Italian” and go OFF on Lindsay. Why would she be egging her on like that? Meanwhile Lindsay is telling the guys in the kitchen (Craig and Andrea) about “Austen being so all over her and throwing her in the pool…” Craig says in Vermont he was completely ignoring her. I don’t think she liked hearing that too much. So if I’m understanding this right, she liked Austen during Winter House, but he was going for Ciara. So, yes, this does sound to me like a little tit for tat on Lindsay’s part.
Pasta is plated and looks divine. Someone on Twitter posted that it didn’t look good, and that Italians never ever add the parm to the plates, it should always go on the side. I mean, some people are so crude. Give the poor dude a break right ? He was just cryin that two bitches broke his heart, and you’re gonna pick on his pasta? I don’t think the guy ever claimed to be a stellar chef did he ? And still, here is, broken heart and all, missing his family on a whole different fucking continent, delivering a homemade Italian dinner, instead of just calling delivery.
Andrea wants to follow an Italian tradition talk about what love (& orgies) means to them at dinner. Lindsay is up and you can see Ciara just seething. (thanks to Paige’s influence)
Someone please explain to me why Paige wants stupid Craig and not Andrea ?
You know who else is kind of in the background this season? (other than Alex of course) Luke. He’s not really the center of any drama like he’s used to being. Last season, remember he liked Ciara, but the Hannah drama was going on full force. Ciara was put off by how rude he was being to her, so that never got off the ground. She was new and wanting to be friends with the girls, so hooking up with Luke, would have been not good. Then there was a lot of Lindsay flirtation with Luke, in between her troubles with that weird short dude. The few Winter House eps I caught here and there, he was going after a blonde on there, that had a boyfriend, so she shut him right down. Poor dude is striking out left and right.
Kyle is having a brief moment where he’s actually NOT being an asshole, and says something really sweet to Amanda. She at first smirks, then seems touched. (I don’t think she expected much) After the birthday debacle, I think he could have done better, but it was cute.
Kyle talks in his yap about “everything going on with the wedding.” My God who is with me? I cannot wait until this fucking wedding is over. All they do is bitch about “everything they have to do!!! ”
Ciara has the floor, and decides it’s perfect to go into her issues with Lindsay. (So much for the ‘let’s all love one another’ dinner) She talks about how disrespectful Lindsay was to her, with the Austen thing.
Paige smirks and hair fluffs. This is what she was waiting for. Couldn’t she have waited until AFTER dinner though ? Andrea is literally sitting there crying that his love dinner is going downhill fast.
Craig seems to be enjoying it a little too much. Ciara is going on for what seems like forever, breaking down and listing item by item, every last miniscule fucking detail of why she hates Lindsay.
She says that she is feeling the hostility, and if there really was something with Lindsay and Austen in Vermont, she would have stepped back. She was excited for Austen to come, sleeping in her bed, yelling from the rooftops they were makin out, tryin to hurt me… yadda yadda yadda. Lindsay finally utters, “you were not even on my mind.”
This to me, is a passive aggressive manipulation type comment, to make her feel completely unimportant.
Amanda goes to Andrea’s seat, where he is still literally sobbing, and kneels down and asks if he wants to talk. He’s thinking probably no ! I busted my ass cooking this shit all day, and these dumb bitches are ruining it ! Or is he crying over Paige ?
Andrea can’t take it anymore and leaves the table with Luke. He is upset about Lexi he claims to Luke. Yeah I don’t think that’s why.
I just can’t get over this argument is over Austen. Nobody can.
Ciara: “You know how me and Austen are with each other”
Lindsay: “Well you don’t know how ME and Austen are with each other.”
Ciara: “He wanted nothing to do with you in Vermont.”
Craig gets in there and says he’s “mad at Austen” for doing what he did to Ciara. What does that even matter ? What the hell is this hat he’s wearing?
Danielle who seems more upset about this than Lindsay, (she honestly doesn’t give two shits) gets all up in Ciara’s face.
Now Paige has gotten tired of just sitting there smirking, and feels the need to get involved.
I really didn’t follow/hear/understand what got this so heated, between Danielle and Ciara, and why red wine and food went flying. Lindsay should be fighting her own battle. Lindsay would be doing this for no one.
I feel like I’m watching Housewives right now.
So glad Andrea isn’t seeing this, or he’d really be crying !
So much for the Ferrogosto Love Dinner!!
