This is promised to be the “the most dramatic season ever” as they’re trying to sell us.
As every season is. Seems to be a lot of meltdowns and what not. None of them appear to be Kyle or Amanda, surprisingly.
I just can’t get on board with Carl and Lindsay. It’s kind of creeping me out. I think he did that thing you’re not supposed to do, when you’re newly sober, and got into a super serious relationship too soon. I know! They already knew each other, and were supposedly ‘friends.’ I just don’t recall them ever being actual what I would call ‘best friends’ with each other. (unless you want to count the notorious finger banging incident) I think he was at his one year mark possibly. But Lindsay is a lot. And I just don’t know that he realizes this. He should, but I don’t think he recalls watching her in her past relationships.
Maybe because she’s not drinking either, in solidarity. They moved in together, apparently. Lindsay is beside herself with giddiness in her yap. For whatever reason, they film a scene of Lindsay attacking him in a naughty nurse outfit telling him she’s not wearing panties. Must have been Andy’s idea.
Kyle is sporting the new updated modernized (I guess that’s what you call it) mullet. Call it a mullet! Haha. Amanda looks anorexic. Not sure what’s going on with that. They seem to be getting along okay, but we are two minutes into it. They were getting along on Winter House too so, maybe there is hope for them. Kyle is probably on his best behavior since they never did a prenup.
Paige picks up her new friend Gabby. Mia is still seeing Oliver, so that’s cute. No mention of Ciara yet, but she is coming, prettty sure. Amanda is still wearing these same ripped shorts from last year.
So due to some fucking antiquated retarded zoning issues, the house can’t have nine bedrooms, only five. So four of the rooms are not allowed to be used. Well isn’t that stupid? Is this made up for additional drama?
Dudes are totally outnumbered. I’m going to miss Andrea. Paige tells Gabby “he found love” is why he’s not longer a housemate. I actually read that he was dismissed. You would think they would have wanted the drama of him and a new girlfriend in the house? Since he and Paige fooled around. Maybe he was too nice and ‘boring.’
We’re picking bedrooms, and this so far doesn’t seem as dramatic as Housewives staking their claims when they are on vaca. The downstairs ‘primary’ (we can’t call it a master anymore) now has like six beds in it.
Mya arrives and she’s super cute and cheerful. Hopefully she’s over her little race baiting game she started last summer, because Andrea called her by the chick’s name he was pining over by mistake.
Which turned into a whole big I’m a black girl in the The Hamptons thing, so you need to treat me special and tiptoe around me. Thankfully she didn’t suck Ciara into that shit.
Amanda with no makeup, and what she’s wearing, and weighing about 95 lbs, looks like a twelve year old. She does NOT look like a bombshell, Mya. Let’s hope the summer of non-stop free alcohol and pizza, puts some meat on those bones. She looks unhealthy. Is Kyle not feeding her? What is going on?
Room assignments might start to get tense when Carl and Lindsay arrive. I can see her going all Jen Shah or Ramona and demanding she and Carl get the biggest one available.
So they flash to Winter House scenes, and Kyle sharing in his yap, that when they stopped by the house (they were in the neighborhood!) for a few days how awkward it was. As much as I would love to blame Lindsay for that, I would say it was 99% due to the others making this fucking whole entire thing about Lindsay being flirty with Austen (grabbed his dick to be exact) at Kyle and Amanda’s wedding last year, when it doesn’t fucking matter since she wasn’t even official with Carl at that point.
They had just started getting cozy, literally THAT day. There was no professing their undying love for each other, they weren’t going steady, whatever nothing. And Lindsay getting drunk and grabbing Austen’s dick is totally something she would do. I’m sure she did, but who cares!!
Austen was being Austen and had to act like it was this be all end all, of Lindsay and Carl. I didn’t blame them for getting pissed. It really did seem like a sabotage of their relationship. And I hate Lindsay, I think she’s a selfish little brat, so I think my opinion is objective. As they usually are, not to brag.
So no surprise, right out of the gate there is strife with Lindsay and someone. And the someone is Mya.
Lindsay does come across as the very jealous type, as we have seen over the years, and true to form, she is all jelly about Mya being friendly with Carl. Which if Lindsay was normal, shouldn’t be a big thing because they were friendly last summer before they were together. And it didn’t really come off as romantic at all. I don’t think either one of them are each other’s type. It’s not a black white thing, they just didn’t seem attracted to each other like that. Mya sort of talked to him like a big brother. Also Mya has a boyfriend. She’s not after Carl. Maybe this is all easy for me to say, since I’m not the jealous type.
I don’t know, whatever, who cares. I’m literally so fucking tired of talking about Lindsay already. I feel like it’s going to be a long three months, if she’s going to be having hissy fits every time someone looks at Carl. I saw in the previews that she and Danielle get into an argument. Of course they do.
Lindsay is the type of person who uses people, guys, girls, whatever, and doesn’t hesitate to toss them aside when she’s done with them. Another reason why I worry for Carl. Friends don’t mean jack to her. Danielle has had her back and has kissed her ass non-stop, but Lindsay doesn’t appreciate shit.
Mya tells the group Lindsay accused her of “wanting Carl in a sexual way.” And I guess she even said it like that. She’s so weird. Mya gives the skinny. After they filmed The Family Feud, (which I did now the Bravolebs were doing game shows) she asked if Carl wanted to smoke a J with her, since this had been their practice, I guess before he was Lindsay’s lap dog. This was confusing to me, but it’s the new ‘California sober’ thing. James on Vanderpump was still getting stoned last season when he gave up alcohol, and well now he’s drinking again so… we’ll see about this.
Anywho, she accused her of not being respectful of their relationship, and being after Carl and yadda yadda yadda and more Lindsay blah blah blah. It is kind of coming back to me now that Lindsay was threatened by Mya last summer.
Remember she didn’t want her to go out on the prowl with her trying to hook up with dudes? Which Mya also played the race card with, which I thought was also ridiculous because Lindsay was threatened by her, because Mya is younger and cuter. So that’s actually a compliment. Nothing to do with being black. But she was listening to the MS media in her ear telling her everyone is racist, instead of using common sense.
So another new girl. A cute Barbie Doll girl who says she’s 25, and to be honest, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, or maybe I do, she looks a lot older. Like usually 25 year old girls still look like teenagers. Maybe she needs more sunscreen. I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it, but I was shocked when she said 25. I would have guessed mid-30’s. Anyway, irregardless of her age, she does like to talk about herself and hear herself talk.
Paige says “tell me everything” and I thinks she just wanted to know where she works, what she does etc. That’s very important with these guys. Well she made a short story really really long and did tell Paige literally EV-ERYTHING and wouldn’t shut the fuck up.
How can people be so bad at reading body language? Surely she had to be seeing Paige had tuned out after like a minute or two.
Maybe editing made it worse than what it was, but I don’t think so.
Something with Cosmo and I don’t know. This should get interesting with her and Paige. They’re either going to love or hate each other. She gets up at 4am, and goes to bed at 3am or some shit. She seems to love herself. On paper she and Paige should get along great.
Well L&C arrive, and it’s an awkward greeting with her and Mya. Lindsay makes sort of a, (I’m trying not to say passive aggressive so much, also narcissist and gas light) perhaps may be a back-handed compliment. “I like the blonde, is that a new summer thing?” I believe insinuating she has the blonde highlights or whatever to be like her. When she says shit, that seem innocent, ya gotta think like Lindsay. And there was totally more to that.
Like yes Lindsay, you are RIGHT, Mya is going with this super cute ombre look, with the bottom blonde thing, because she is obsessed with you, and thinks that if she is also blonde, Carl will drop you like a hot potato and profess his love for her ! Yes Lindsay, you figured it all out! Great, can you go home now??
Paige claims that she and Lindsay have mended fences. Well that’s great, now she’ll have plenty of energy to concentrate on annihilating Mya.
Kyle looks drunk already. Seems to be trouble in paradise with the two buds and co-workers, Kyle and Carl. And I’m sure this has nothing to do with Negative Nellie Lindsay, right. Now Carl doesn’t know if Loverboy is really for him at this point. Which you can see, he possibly could be outgrowing it.
But I don’t know if he really has a lot of options, and it seems curious this is suddenly when he’s with Lindsay.
I wonder if we’ll be having the repeat performance of Paige and Ciara lying in bed constantly and contributing nothing to cooking, cleaning up, or decorating for the 8000 theme parties they will be having. I’m wondering how entitled Sam and Gabby will be when it comes to contributing to the household responsibilities? If they take the lead of Ciara and Paige, they won’t be doing shit.
I’m actually already impressed because Paige is helping with the kabobs. Ladies and gentlemen hell has frozen over. Is this just because Ciara isn’t here yet? So she has no one to crawl into bed with and veg out?
Lindsay has decided to start drinking again, after five months of dryness to support Carl. She gets her mits on a glass of Rose, and seem to look kind of guilty, but also really excited, as she looks over to see if Carl is around. At least that’s how it looked to me.
Kyle is really really into party favors and decorations, for a dude, but I’m only judging a little. I’m kind of okay with his hair. I’m assuming the new mullets will be a fleeting thing, and he won’t be sporting this forever. Let’s hope. Amanda is skin and bones. I’m surprised no one is saying anything. Maybe it’s not allowed now. I posted on a chat page how thin she looks, and got a lot of agreements, but also several scoldings. I’m being told you absolutely CANNOT discuss or give an opinion on a woman’s weight. Even to say someone looks too thin and it’s concerning.
Dreaded room assignment discussion. There is a swinging joke made. Everyone is laughing and joking, but Carl and Lindsay, who look really really really serious. Carl seems to be drinking the kool-aid.
I really do feel like Lindsay is sucking the life right out of this dude, and he has no idea.
So Chris was a Marine. No fucking shit! Now this is new. Have we ever had a military dude in the Summer House ? Fuck no, we have not! It’s always a bunch of fucking yuppies with useless degrees. Did I say that out loud? He and Carl joke about it, when Carl starts standing like a soldier after he told him he’s a Marine. Or ex-Marine? Are you still a Marine if you’re no longer in the military? Oh well who cares. He looks badass.
That was actually kind of cute. I think Carl sort of subconsciously felt like he had to sort of compete with the Marine in the room. Guys are funny.
I foresee this Gabby chick as being a problem. Sam not so much.
Paige and Mya discuss the Lindsay issue. Paige suggests she talk to Carl alone. Yeah I don’t see that going well. Granted I did already watch the episode, but I still would have said that. Paige makes a good point, Lindsay can’t dictate who the dude can and can’t be friends with. Although I do think she’s being sketchy here by encouraging this. I could see Lindsay losing her shit if Mya is talking to him.
You can feel and hear the tension with Carl and Kyle. Mainly because Carl just ignores him when he’s trying to make convo. Is he like morphing into Lindsay? I think that does happen in couples. Is it usually this soon though? Okay moving on.
Chris the Marine tries to put the moves on Single Sam. Maybe he needs to brush up a little.
“Are you a natural blonde?”
“yes”
“I dig it”
Being a ‘natural blonde’ myself I guarantee you she is coloring it. It’s too light to still be ‘natural’ into her 20’s. But whatever, I get it, he doesn’t need to know that. Technically, she is a natural blonde. I dig it.
Mya asks to chat with Carl alone. You can immediately tell how uncomfortable he feels. Right off the bat, “I moved in with Lindsay.” Okay there simmer down dude, she knows. She’s not trying to give ya a knobber here by the pool.
Mya tells him she had an uncomfortable conversation with Lindsay. Carl lets her know he’s not smoking anymore. He seems to know about the issue, but is trying to act like he doesn’t. Mya didn’t know he wasn’t getting high anymore, or she most likely wouldn’t have offered. How was she to know that if he didn’t tell her?
Mya goes on to let him know that Lindsay spoke to her in a really derogatory way. Carl knows she gave Mya the business, but is trying to appear puzzled. I guess he’s enjoying the flattery.
Carl basically dismisses Mya, and tells her whatever Lindsay says goes. He didn’t say that, but he said that. This is scary.
Lindsay demands the report on what happened with their convo. She is using the marijuana thing as her excuse for acting like a jealous maniac, but I don’t think that’s it at all. I just don’t. It’s more her manipulative and controlling personality. And using Carl’s sobriety, instead of just admitting she’s really jealous he has a cute chick for a friend? It’s kinda sick, but not surprising.
As she goes on a rant about her wonderfulness, Carl just keeps repeating “I know, I know” as if he’s in a trance. This is even worse that I thought.
“You gotta grow up sometime, have an adult conversation.” Ummm, so correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that what she just did? Calmly let Carl know she’s hurt and misses their friendship. Seemed pretty adult to me. If we were to Lindsay-adult, she would have been blacked out, screaming and straddling him. Ten years younger Mya has more adulthood in her pinky than Lindsay has in her entire being.
She even refers to herself as “the adult here.” Yeah okay. That’s hilarious. When the hell did this happen? When did she become the most mature person in the room? You can tell she’s all cranked up now. I feel like Carl is kind of her ‘project.’ The recovering vulnerable alcoholic who just lost his brother last year to drugs. She can mold and maneuver. This is her dream come true.
When this goes South it’s really going to really go South. Mark my words. I feel so Caroline Manzo. Imagine me pointing my finger in an important Caroline way as I say it.
What’s Summer House without a drunken Kyle wandering around the kitchen alone, inhaling snacks and talking to himself? He jokes in his yap wondering why Carl is walking around enlisting everyone to work out with him at the crack of dawn when last year, when he was also sober, he just got up, and did his work outs, without making it a whole big thing. That is interesting and a good question.
Carl calls Lindsay a light in her life. I can’t. Who ARE these people??
So everyone ‘tensing up’ isn’t really a good thing. And pretty sure it’s not Carl.
They go to a pool party thing. Paige shares some Craig deets. There is mounting pressure as to who is moving. Okay well, I’ll settle that right damned now, ain’t NO fucking way Craig Conover is moving to NYC. Zero. Not happening. So Paige girlfriend, gather all of your beige clothes and head down south! I’m kind of surprised they’re still together. This was filmed way back in July, almost a year ago, so are they still STILL together do we know?
Jesus, the Marine is a salsa dancer. Sam girl, snap that up!!
Kyle is buzzing of course, because it’s after 9am, and shares with Mya how much Carl has changed and how the whole house dynamic seems off because of them. Normally I would roll my eyes and blame something like this on Bravo, or call it contrived. But this really does seem different.
As a viewer, on my couch, their aura is just so tense and strange.
Kyle points out in his yap, that working with his best friend has never been tense until recently.
So what is Lindsay doing or feeding him to turn him against Kyle? And why would she want to?
Here’s my thought: Since you didn’t ask.
Since Lindsay has this controlling and manipulative personality, and not many friends, I don’t think, she doesn’t want Carl to have close friends either.
She wants to isolate him, and have him all to herself. (rule #1 in the narcissist playbook- shit –sorry I’m trying!)
That also helps her because no one can see what she’s doing to him, since he’s never around anyone else. I’m not sure what she wants him to do for work, if she manages to convince him that Kyle is bad and quits his job? Hopefully she has a plan. Or just doesn’t care.
Lindsay talks to Carl like he’s five. Which proves my ‘he’s her project’ point.
She drills him about talking to Kyle about his job. I guess she’s pushing him to resign?
Kyle and Amanda discuss Carl, and Kyle feels like he is on the verge of leaving.
I have no idea what Lindsay just said.
