Did we know Garcelle dated Will Smith? Think his ex-wife, Sheree is a next season Housewife.
Maybe we should do a little tidying up of the house, and do some housewife replacements? (ahemmmm Vyle, Rinna, Scarika…?)
Sheree asks, “Do you think the girls are gonna act a fool?” These girls? No fucking way.
I don’t mean to keep plugging my tiktoks, put Crystal making drinks for her Insta account, is reminding me of me!
I love to mix me up a good creative cocktail. Check out my tiktoks for inspiration of some easy fun summer cocktails! @ReneeRonero
Rob is busy, and plugging a new musical – ‘How Winston Delivered Christmas.’ Crystal’s brother appears not interested whatsoever. Think he just wanted the Cliffs Notes version, or NO version, when Crystal said “tell him about it.” Think she didn’t mean actually TELL him about it. Also Rob speaks in a way that’s… let’s say, not very captivating. (aka boring)
Well he does manage to get everyone’s attention when he refers to “Duke of Norfuck” (Norfolk) which I did look up, and that is wrong, it’s pronounced Nor – fik. Not Nor -fuck, but hey they all got a good laugh out if it! That’s what’s important.
So yes, Crystal has a point that Diana’s first trip with the girls was similar to hers, in that a minor incident was overblown and overdramatized, treated as traumatic, when in fact it was nothing close to traumatic.
“When you jab at Diana, it’s nuclear.” Well, she threatens to head butt and murder people, so ‘nuclear’ is one way to put it. I mean, she loves to talk about ‘head butting’ Or you could say, Crystal, “problematic, or creepy and weird???” So Mrs. Manson’s violent physical threats are not problematic, creepy or weird ? But someone walking into your room is? Okay.
Since we know that Mauricio likes to smoke pot, is it me, or does he now always look like he’s stoned? But, even if not stoned, who doesn’t love a house husband pretending to be interested in the housewife drama with their trying too hard, overly emphasized interested expressions?
Kyle assumes Diana will not be attending Garcelle’s birthday event due to a super, superrrrrrr dramatic group text she sent to all of the housewives outlining some sort of miscarriage health crisis.
Honestly, enough with the miscarriage already. She’s almost 50 ! Maybe she should educate herself with the risks involved with pregnancy in this age range. And is this horrible thug, again pro-creating again a good idea?
That sounds really bitchy, but my schtick is being brutally honest. If she wasn’t such a stupid fucking thug, I wouldn’t put that out there. No more babies ! You’re 50!
I really don’t get the Garcelle shade ? What is she even referring to ? “Garcelle might think I’m rude, so there it is…”
Speaking of thugs, or wanna be thugs, Erika and her hair extensions. Who is dumb enough to buy and support this thief’s crap? Erika save it – save the little miss innocent bullshit. Are you making any effort to pay back the clients that Tom stole from, which had you spending extravagantly, I might add. Does she not realize or is she pretending to not realize, that she spent STOLEN MONEY? I go with the latter.
She’s so fucking dumb she thought the cash flow was a bottomless fucking pit. Was she not event taking into account the dude is 80? and most likely nearing retirement? Did she really think he was able to ‘save’ at the rate that she spent??? Does she have like a 1st or 2nd grade education?
She also forgot Tom was running a law firm, and there was a lot of overhead. So when he bragged to her that, he “made two million dollars today” he actually only ‘made’ a small fraction of that. But he liked to brag to her, and drop the big numbers, because he knew that impressed her.
Sutton visits Dorit. They go outside to talk and Sutton talks about having her hormones balanced with testosterone. Dorit ridicules her in her yap, but it looks like maybe it is a thing?
Sutton was talking about pellets? Here is an article I found if you were confused too. Sounds like something rich bitches do, that have nothing better to do with their money.
https://www.virtua.org/articles/what-is-pellet-hormone-replacement-therapy
Dorito asks about Diana, and Sutton compares it to being at lunch in the cafeteria trying to sit at the cool kids table.
They arrive at Garcelle’s party. Erika is in a leopard dress AND leopard boots. If you read my Southern Charm recap, you know that I think leopard should be in small doses, and not over done. Leopard should be a pop. Shoes, necklace, purse, earrings… certainly not dress AND boots. I think I might need to call the fashion police !!
Kyle is as usual, dressed too young, has her tits hanging out, her ass is out, and walking around like she owns the place. We know the splits and hair twirl thing is just around the corner… Dorit looks like Catwoman.
Diana, unfortunately, arrives with her infamous book in a box surrounded by flowers. Garcelle tries to act gracious to receive it, when she’s thinking, wow you really are an asshole. Now I get the rude shade.
What in the fucking fuck are she and her weirdo husband wearing? Do they think they’re going to a Bon Jovi concert? They walk in and state that “it’s dead in here?” Didn’t really look ‘dead’ until you two morbid freak assholes entered with your stupid shady ass gift carried in by your fucking driver or butler, or some dude you pulled off the street. Also licking his face just like Diana does.
Now I see what this hoe’s issue is. Because Garcelle called her rude for shutting down the book discussion. I might have been a little slow on the trigger with that. In my defense, it was such an insignificant comment, I just forgot.
Erika’s pony tail extension looks like a horse’s ass glued to the back of her fucking head.
Kathy financed the cake it seems, so nice of her. She’s not attending – she’s in Pasadena. Hope there’s not a snow storm. I see a pattern of her not attending Garcelle’s events. Wasn’t there chatter of her negotiating to be a Housewife, but they couldn’t cough up the dough she wanted, or something? Kind of forgot about it until now.
Well anywho, this is a really slow moving show. We just have people meandering around greeting each other. Glimpse of a few celebrities here and there. Actress Sherri Shepherd, and did you catch former Cheetah Girl, Adrienne Hougton. I recognized her from Keeping Up with the Kardashians. She dated Rob for a short period. Rob seemed sort of difficult to be with. They moved in together, and I recall him being sort of OCD, and weird. I only watched it in the earlier years, when they were slightly relatable.
Erika looks bored. She and Crystal make small talk about her legal troubles. If she even considers them troubles, since she doesn’t really care about anyone but herself. More like a nuisance or inconvenience.
I maintain my belief that if she was not the spending addict that she is, Tom would not have been feeling like he was in a vice constantly, to try to keep up with her addiction. Not defending what he did. He should have been honest with her years ago when he began to realize how she has an issue, that she can’t control, and put the brakes on it.
It’s sad she can’t publicly admit to that, and own her part of the responsibility that contributed to his desperation. I know she knows it. I didn’t watch that series that was on last year – ‘The Hustler and the Housewife.’ I should try to find it.
Not bragging but I got the Pasadena joke, before Kyle explained it. Bravo should do a game show, “Are You Smarter than a Housewife?” Since it seems like Housewives is needing to come to an end, if you’re really paying attention to what the content we’re now resorting to. We have a Housewife walking around threatening to head butt another Housewife. And we’re supposed to snicker and think that’s cute ??
“Oliver’s hot!” – Erika says. Wonder if he’s single now. Last year he was with the woman that he had a baby to. He was on WWHL with Garcelle, and they joked about Erika being interested in him.
Think she’s wayyyyyy too young for him. Girlfriend’s so NOT into young struggling dudes, she prefers ‘em OLD AND RICH.
Anyway struggling to get through this party – we need to liven this shit up. Careful what you wish for right?
They flash the cost of the ‘Birkin cake’ being only $500? I honestly would have thought it had a much higher price tag. At least 2g would have been my guess. What is these women’s obsession with these purses? That designer is laughing all the way to the bank, at the idiocy of women paying hundreds of thousands of dollars for a purse, purely for the name, and oohs and ahhhs when carrying it. Like really? $30,000 for a purse? A purse?
Kathy Tightwad Hilton, you couldn’t cough up a fucking Birkin for Garcelle instead of a stupid cake! Not even one from Ebay for $20,000?
Erika seems to be taking after Kyle with the margarita obsession. Except she drinks like twelve of them. She’s sucking them down like there’s no tomorrow.
Where’s Kyle telling her to drink a Coke like she was on the boat?
I posted on one of the FaceBook chat groups about how strange I thought that was, offering a drunk person caffeine, and got mixed opinions. Of course had the “who cares !” trolls that don’t understand that’s what those pages are for, starting mindless banter about the shows. Some people are just slow. Guess we shouldn’t pick on them. They probably think Teresa Guidice is smart. (think some are members of those groups, just to comment ‘who cares’ and ‘who are you to judge?’)
Well I’m a viewer, nitwit, that’s “who I am to judge…” Wow. I just feel sorry for those people with so few brain cells. It’s not even that serious. Let’s not forget these people are paid very very well to exploit themselves on these shows. So viewers, who are responsible for their paycheck, have every fucking right to give their criticisms and opinions, Karens!
Probably 50/50 as to viewers that agreed with me, that caffeine makes being drunk, worse, as it further dehydrates you, and gives you a fake perky feeling. Others (aka the Karens) thought it was a splendid idea!! Also I was thinking, they didn’t even wake her up to let her know food was being served. Wouldn’t that have been a smart thing to do?? Someone drinking heavily needs to eat. Whatever, I’m getting off track due to the boring – ness of this party. Maybe Mrs. Manson had a point.
We meet again, Will Smith’s ex, and Garcelle’s good friend – Sheree. Okay she’s totally a Housewife next season! Who’s getting the ax?? Hopefully the Crazy Head Butting Diana’s replacement! Garcelle seems to be into the Will Smith name drop, not gonna lie. Think this was filmed before his embarrassing ‘slapping’ incident. But, she probably would have still name dropped. I’m sure most of that very entitled, rules for thee, but not for me, in this geographical area, do not think he did anything wrong.
Maybe he should have ‘Diana Jenkins head butted’ Chris Rock instead of a girlie ‘slap.’ Just kidding. He should have sat in his seat and laughed, like a normal person, as he started to do, until he saw Princess Jada scowling, over a harmless joke, and decided he needed to play tough guy. He lost the ‘tough guy’ persona when he went with the slap.
Diana is shamelessly flaunting her bag to Kyle. “Did you see the diamonds?” WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT?? Woman, stop, please just stop. You’re so embarrassing! Of course Kyle is frothing at the mouth, giving her what she needs. Since she’s fake superficial shallow Kyle fucking Richards.
Diana brags in her yap about escaping the fires of Malibu a few years back, when that was happening, and packing up her diamonds and Birkens. Diana has a huge smile on her face when she’s bragging in her yaps. Other than that she always looks nasty, smug and miserable.
So the convo picks up slightly, very slightly form Birkens, to Sheree “making peace with her vagina.” And by this she means, pleasuring herself. That quickly leads into reminiscing about PK leering at Erika’s pantiless open legs at a get together a few years ago, and the drama that ensued following that. That’s when they didn’t harp on minor things the whole entire season. Or did they? Or did we just not notice as much, and it wasn’t as annoying. Of course we flash the scene, as I knew they were going to.
I was afraid to look at what year it was. It was 2016. Six freaking freaking years ago! I recently started realizing when Southern Charm premiered last week, and they were flashing to old scenes in the first season, how depressing it is that I am still watching this shit! I’m mostly joking of course, but you do kind of think, wow, that was SIX years ago! It is good, I guess that they can joke about it now. Thankfully, we’ve moved on. It was all kind of ridiculous for Erika to not have panties on under a short dress, knowing she was going to be sitting down with others around her. And don’t get using the ‘lines’ as an excuse. “it doesn’t look good under my dress” she exclaims in the flash.
Well I guess not if by ‘not looking good’ you mean, you hope someone takes a gander when you ‘accidentally’ open your legs a little. She does have a pee fetish, so it’s not outrageous to think she took pleasure in someone seeing her little lady parts. And of course when PK caught sight of it, he was going to look. A dude is a dude. And yes she took pleasure in him looking.
Well actually I stand corrected, maybe Dorito is not yet ready to laugh about it. She doesn’t seem to be laughing, at all. Okay Dorito, time to get over it. It’s been six years. Yes we know it was RIGHT there.
Erika is not into your chubby undershirt wearing PK. He is also, way too young for her, and too broke, so relax Dorit. It’s just a freaking pu*** he was looking at. Didn’t matter whose.
Can we pick up the pace a little? Wouldn’t exactly call 2020 a ‘spiritual awakening’ unless you want to call the intentional manufacturing and release of a virus, intended to kill people, and scare you into dictorial submission, a spiritual awakening, for the eventual purpose of Global Communism. Please don’t argue with me – for God’s sake, they’re even admitting it now, it’s time to wake up. I’m not getting on a rant. You can read, do your own research.
But sure lady, ‘spiritual awakening’ let’s go with that. Guess when you live in the Hills Bubble, you need not worry what’s happening in the real world. Go buy four Tesla’s and fatten up ole’ Hunter’s and The Big Guy’s bank account. (The Biden’s have financial interest in the mine that manufactures the batteries. I found that info like a year or so ago, it’s called the internet, this new thing) Most people just like to shut up and obey, which is why we’re where we’re at right now. I like to research things that sound strange. Like why is this dude so obsessed with making our gas prices so high. Ohhh, makes sense now. His family stands to gain from a change to electric cars. Got it. It’s not hard to find this info. You’re welcome.
Anyway, So PK approaches the ladies and the ‘pussy’ thing goes right over his head, when they joke “you arrived just in time, we just said pussy.” He gets his boxers all in a bunch, and thinks they’re calling him a pussy. See guys, not COMPLETELY scripted.
Speaking of pussies, Kyle is all up into Diana’s right now. Wonder if she’s wearing undies?
So they’re talking about her weird group text, and Diana really really seems to think this thug talk is not weird. She’s bringing nukes, bazooka’s. They ridicule the stupid little plane tiff when she didn’t want Sutton sitting with her. Not sure why Sutton was even wanting to sit with her.
It was clear Diana wasn’t accepting her apology in Mexico. When you’re apologizing to someone, and they won’t look at you, and literally wave you away, ya know, they MIGHT not have accepted your apology. So you might want to — like, avoid them the next day, and not try to suck up.
Kyle who is supposed to be Sutton’s friend is relishing in Diana’s bully like treatment of her. Well that’s a friend right ! Guess she needs to be extra shady and foul at this event since Rinna was absent.
Who did NOT miss Rinna?
So we’re not at all disturbed or think it’s ‘problematic’ or ‘creepy and weird’ that Diana literally is talking about killing Sutton. I mean literally killing.
I really do think she may have actually picked some people off in Bosnia. That remark is followed by an evil laugh. Kyle doesn’t seem to have a problem with this rhetoric, but grabs Sutton’s shoulders later after she calls this thug ‘soulless.’
Kyle keeps nervously laughing, Diana however is NOT laughing. She’s serious. Kyle is too stupid and childish to see this woman is dead fucking serious, very violent perhaps, and disturbed.
Diana says she “needs to take a breath, because she can come on like DE——STRUCTION” Kyle says “she appreciates that??” What? She APPRECIATES that? Does she need to google the word ‘destruction?’ Guess her severe ADD is kicking in? Is she spacing out and day dreaming about Birkens? The shit Diana is saying is going right over this numbskull’s head. But don’t think you can rely on Mario to be the brains in the operation.
Mauricio says, “then you attack.” (why are we encouraging her ?) She corrects him to “kill.” KILL.
Like are they getting the message here? This bitch is NOT fucking kidding. They look a little taken aback, but all break into evil laughter. ???? MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE !!
Cake time, and Erika and her horse’s ass are still sucking down those margs with a straw.
There’s dirty dancing and grabbing of Kyle’s tits right off the bat.
Dirty Diana announces that her bag is 4 million dollars because it’s sitting on a table 6 inches from where she and Richie Sambora are standing. (did they think this was an 80’s theme?) Why is she scolding her whipping boy, child/husband over this? It’s HER fucking purse. Secondly, why point out the value ?
Sure Queen of the Head Butts, there are literally dudes swarming the joint with cameras, but yes I suppose there is a chance that some woman, at Garcelle’s party, while being filmed, is gonna lift the fucking thing and run? Maybe one of Dorit’s ‘robbers’ are here ??
Brains are not her strong suit. Guess that’s why she was on a quest to marry well. The kid offers to put her stupid purse in the car. Okay silly boy ! She doesn’t want it in the car! How can she walk around and brag about it, and point out the minute diamonds on it, if it’s sitting in the fucking car. Lordy these two stooges deserve each other.
Erika is feeling her several spicy margs. Why does PK always dress like he’s homeless?
Rob’s pullin out the Saturday Night Fever dance moves. Not to nitpick, but his nickname shouldn’t be ‘Hip Hop Rob’, it should actually be ‘Disco Rob.’
Erika of course doing her trashy ‘pop star’ moves. Not really sure wtf Sutton was doing. We all know Kyle’s moves. Except she seems to have added a little bit of a trash element tonight!
She’s sort of giving me RHONY’s Sonja Morgan vibes, laying around with her leg literally wide open, in a very porn star kind of way. PK may get another Housewife vajayjay glimpse.
Good lord she’s humping the floor, and showing her entire ass. Is Mauricio not taking care of this woman or what? She claims in her yap she really is trying to stop with the splits. She must have known she’s going to get made fun of for doing this, again!
Sutton wants to talk to Diana, who seems to be still reliving her war days in Bosnia. I stand by the fact that I think before she left, she took out a dude or two.
We all know this isn’t going to go well, even not having seen previews. Sutton does start off being rather condescending, “you were on BED REST, now you’re here, so that’s confusing.” (also you would think drinking alcohol would be kind of a nono when you’re bleeding out) This woman is just stupid and lies. Her claim to fame is her idiotic gangsta talk, ex’s husband fortune and previous life as a hooker, or hooker organizer.
Diana plays the miscarriage card. Again she’s a fucking asshole, so having hard time feeling bad for her. Also when a miscarriage happens, that usually means there was an issue with the fetus, that’s why it doesn’t survive. It wasn’t healthy. So while it’s sad, it’s also more sad to carry a baby longer than a few weeks, and then have something horrible happen later in pregnancy. Also I can’t feel sympathy for this murdering thug, so there’s that.
We’re done hearing about the ‘robbery,’ and we’re done hearing about Diana’s miscarriage.
Sutton clearly didn’t know what she was dealing with here. Everything she says just gets mocked and it’s literally like trying to have a civil convo with the mean girl on the bus that goes from seat to seat picking on kids for fun.
“In Bosnia she responds to yelling” she said. Who all wants to start a GoFundMe to send this ASSHOLE back to Bosnia?
She says do you want me to butt head you ? Well it’s head butt, but okay. Clearly she’s dying to show her head butting skills. So you know, shit or get off the pot? Let’s see it.
I don’t know why Sutton is giving her sympathy, and saying she’s sorry she was on bed rest, when she truly doesn’t care. Diana is kinda right, it’s coming off as fake. She calls her boring, then brings up how she was discussing her brother getting killed in Bosnia, and Sutton brought up her dad dying.
Kyle and Garcelle join the party. I like Garcelle’s ‘chip on her soldier’ description of her odd behavior. She really did walk in there like that tonight. Between the book thing, and her problem with Sutton.
And the bacon eating vegetarian thing – comeon woman – get a grip. Kyle calls that “important” because it shows she’s “not the person she says she is.” That’s Important??? How did this woman raise 4 kids?? My God, no wonder she is walking around stating “this might be her last year.” She knows how embarrassing all of this portrays her as. And judging by this week’s sneak peek, it ain’t gettin any better. Feel like Kathy and Kim are reveling in watching her crash and burn.
I know this is Housewives but I feel like I’m watching Batman or something, and Diana is the Joker, and Kyle is the Penguin. Garcelle and Sutton are two average Gotham City residents trying to reason with the town villains.
Diana calls Garcelle Sutton’s body guard, “because shes old and frail” when she’s like one year older than Sutton? Kyle is acting like HER fucking body guard?
When Garcelle got up, she should have taken Sutton with her, and let her and Kyle sit there, and talk more about how she likes to kill people. Since Kyle seemed to be enjoying and encouraging it so much the first time.
Sutton tries to leave, and Kyle physically pushes her down in her seat. Kyle needs to milk this scene a little further I guess.
I don’t think Mrs. Manson understands “I got your number” doesn’t mean your phone number.
867 5309 does that mean something, other than the song? They show her weirdo husband awkwardly sitting at a table by himself, manning the 4 million $$ purse perhaps, drinking his very manly Campari spritz his mommy ordered him to drink.
Garcelle points out Denise’s absence, that we also didn’t miss and actually forgot she was to be attending. Don’t think she wanted to be here and put under a microscope with these judgmental bored bitches, so don’t really blame her. She probably had no intention of coming. Just messing with the bitches. A very overserved Erika tries to make it seem like Denise is such a horrible friend.
Whatever Scarika, go make out with the bartender more and beg him for more drinks. She goes on and on about “this broad running all over her…” Garcelle is like, cool your jets, hoe, I merely pointed out she didn’t show. Whatta hell is Erika’s issue with Denise? She just feels left out that she’s not arguing or threatening to ‘come after’ anyone? Mad Diana is stepping on her gangsta toes in the group?
She keeps saying “I toldja so! ” Garcelle in her yap is like “yeah she never even said that.” Guess she was thinking it really hard? She’s shitfaced, and goin to be feeling like shit on a stick in the morning. Maybe she should have some water, or some Cokes. Where’s Kyle when you need her?
Back to the Joker, Penguin and Sutton. Now we’re arguing over passive aggressive versus just aggressive.
Penguin points out that she’s not really being passive, just aggressive, as if that’s fucking better.
Diana is actually being ‘passive aggressive’ in the way that she’s sitting there calmy talking, but saying really vile things. And yes the text was also passive aggressive. Diana is such a dick.
“I gave birth to a dead baby 12 weeks ago…” What in the literal fuck. Yeah so not what a miscarriage is. Kyle defending this is so fucking disturbing. Don’t laugh at me, but my heart is racing watching this, it’s pissing me off that much.
So the word soulless seems to really trigger (joking) Kyle for some reason, as she’s sitting there looking almost passed out but comes to life when she hears this. Sutton can’t say soulless, but Diana can calmly talk about murder and head butting. Which if done right, can actually cause serious damage.
Diana is unbothered by the term, but Kyle is losing her shit.
“You need a new villain here I am.”
Well no actually, we still have Erika and Rinna, so we’re good. 1991 Bosnia called, and they want you back. They need your head butting skills.
California is NOT the place for you, so pack up your bags and move OUT of Beverly !!!
