Does anyone know if there’s ever a Housewife trip where a bitch doesn’t end up in a hospital??
Honest to God. A stroke, really? She was car sick.
And I really did miss Crystal ‘insulting and degrading’ Annmarie’s profession. She merely questioned the fact that she said she was a doctor, not a nurse.
Maybe she misunderstood. I also missed Crystal making Annmarie her ‘storyline’ (is it one word or two??) as she indicated when she was on WWHL this week. That word needs to be banned from Bravo already.
Storyline, storyline, storyline, instead of Bravo, Bravo, Bravo.
If the wives talk about nothing, or bring up something boring, they ‘have no storyline.’
If they say ANYTHING about ANYONE – it’s ‘Omg she’s using so and so as her storyline…’
I mean guys, it’s their JOB is to talk about each other, and create drama.
Stop with the story line and relevance thing. All of these bitches are relevant because of Real Housewives.
And is Annmarie one to talk about having an idiotic gripe about someone for her storyline? Hers was Sutton’s fucking esophagus!
Anyway, Annmarie goes into nurse –not doctor mode with Crystal’s nausea issue, and they’re all acting like she gave her a life-saving surgery.
‘Oh my God Annmarie was so professional and stepped up when in need EVEN THOUGH Crystal ridiculed her profession’ Which she did NOT do.
She called her a bitch when she was acting like a dumb bitch, and questioned why she lied about being a doctor.
I am not a doctor nor a nurse, nor play one on TV, and I don’t think anything about the way she was feeling was a symptom of a stroke.
Sweaty, swollen hands and ‘veins popping out’ – Not a stroke. Nauseous, and maybe anxious from her confrontation with Annmarie earlier.
“This is not a lay down and drink some ginger ale situation” says Dr. Wiley. Except it is. I feel like an actual doctor would have told her to lie down and drink some ginger ale.
The irony is literally NOT shocking, Annmarie. There’s no irony.
I was kind of surprised that no one went to the hospital with her. Remember they think she’s stroking out. Annmarie flimsily offers to go with her. But you know she was hoping she wouldn’t have to.
They just threw her in the ambulance, in a foreign country, and continued with their day, going to the chapel and pretending to pray, shopping, and doing lunch.
Condescending Erika voice: “I’ve had a chapel in my old house, I’ve been doing this for years…” Doing what for years?? Praying?? Do you have to have a chapel in your house in order to pray?? Does she hear herself?
This broad takes every opportunity to bring up her bougee old life. Any and every opportunity. She sits on a couch. “I had thirty couches in my old house…”
Inside the chapel, they all feel bad for Crystal, yet NO ONE insisted on going, so she didn’t have to be alone. They sent this Gavin – I guess a producer?
Then again how comforting are any of them? They all have the warm and fuzziness of a lizard.
I hate that Sutton really thinks that Kyle is her friend.
She’s so fucking disingenuous. Kyle says she’s “happy to accept her apology.” That’s so nice of you Kyle.
They gave Crystal some Pepto, which seemed to prevent her from having a stroke.
Well Dr. Wiley, ya misdiagnosed this one too, just like you misdiagnosed Sutton’s issue, and called her condition non-existent.
Could that be – because you’re not a doctor???
At lunch they toast to Crystal because, you know, they’re so worried about her.
Not to beat a dead horse, but I really do believe that Annmaire eluded that she was an anesthesiologist to Crystal. She hasn’t actually denied it.
I don’t know why Garcelle brings up her issue with Dorit right now. I actually thought she was going to lose it.
She retaliates by also playing her minority card.
Can we move on? Dorit is definitely a racist and Annmarie is definitely not a doctor. She thought car sickness was a stroke.
They arrive back to the castle to find Crystal waiting for them and feeling fine.
She claims she has high blood pressure and it runs in her family. I don’t know!! Annmarie, does she? Is there such a diagnosis? I’ve never heard of high blood pressure before. You better pour over your encyclopedias.
I’m so funny.
Again a Housewife trying to pretend like she’s dying.
Kyle calls Mario FaceTime, and he does a Juan Dixon and turns his camera off.
So we’ve missed a shitfaced Erika, right? They haven’t even had dinner yet, and she’s inebriated. She drunkenly mutters to her glam people that Crystal’s stroke, I mean car sickness, was a result of bad karma from her talking shit about her fucking earrings.
Comments I’m seeing about how Erika being so changed this season, and so much kinder, and she’s seeing the light. Pahlease. Give the bitch four vodka soda’s and the Scarika we all know and hate starts to emerge.
She looks like she’s ready to chop someone up into pieces, actually. Remember she’s still stewing that no one ‘apologized to her’ because the court may decide she can have those fucking million dollar earrings since they may not have been purchased with stolen funds. And even if they were, who cares. They’re HER fucking earrings!! SHE didn’t steal the money, she just spent it!! My God people. Where ARE her apologies???
******
Sutton’s friends arrive to make Paella with the hot chef’s hot chef silver fox daddy. Who’s your daddy???
Sutton and Garcelle are in competition for his attention. He ignores both of them.
To hide her drunkenness, Erika tries extra hard to sound not drunk, by referring to Sutton as “a beautiful soul” to her friends. A phrase never uttered by Erika Girardi, ever. Unless referring to herself.
She at least has the wherewithal to know that these are bougee ass classy people, and she needs to pull it together, and cannot be acting like the trailer trash that she is.
Erika, who’s on a liquored up compliment tour, gives Annmarie accolades for misdiagnosing Crystal.
I guess it was smarter to err on the side of the worst case scenario. But still. A stroke?? I think I would have went with anxiety attack.
Does Kyle ever stop flipping her fucking hair?? Woman we see your long stringy hair. At least she added some layers and highlights finally so she doesn’t look like Morticia anymore. She must have seen my recaps.
Another opportunity to remind viewers how she used to have a bougee life, with she meets Sutton’s friends.
You can tell what a fucking gold digger she is/was, because she never ever mentions nor speaks of Tom, nor expresses any concern about his health.
Actually I think she wishes he would die, so this scandal disappears, and she can keep her fucking earrings.
If she speaks of her marriage to him, it’s only to mention material things or her lifestyle. That is, until she spent all of the poor old guy’s money. And everyone else’s.
She has a thirst for knowledge she claims. Lady you have a thirst for something, and it’s not knowledge.
Offensive yap comment #42 from Dorito this season, referring to Erika as a ‘drunk Rain Man.’ I get where she was going, but think she may be offending people that have family members with autism.
I think the father/son chef duo thinks these women are a bunch of ding-dongs. After the food is served, they are nowhere to be found.
Erika stumbles to her room.
Crystal is still trying to milk her car sickness from the morning, by claiming she still doesn’t feel 100%. She seems fine.
******
It’s morning, and poor Merce will be released from the ziploc into the Mediterranean. Sutton is melting down. Kyle is pretending to care and be compassionate.
Should I cut her a break? I don’t know. I don’t think I should. Every time the camera zooms on her face, it seems like she has this smuggy smirky expression, or like she’s not really present. Like what the hell is she up to?? I think she’s constantly thinking of herself, and her next move.
So she lost her dad’s ziploc of ashes but not Merce’s. Am I following this??
Maybe these are actually her dad’s ashes.
Looks like a little ash-spreading kerfluffle next week.
Like really, it’s so cliché.
Don’t spit into the wind, and don’t throw ashes into the wind.
