This should go quickly. There seemed to be a whole lot of nothing going on.
That is, proving I don’t get on any rants.
Shamea and Kelli pop double champs bottles poolside at Shamea’s.
Girls’ trip is in the works.
Shamea thinks Maldives is in the Caribbean. It’s just a little further. And how do I know this? From the now-defunct Real Housewives of Dubai of course. You can learn so much from Bravo!
Grenada is the destination after a series of wrong guesses. She got close a few times!
Apparently they’re going to be multi-tasking and providing some hurricane relief help? Or they’re pretending to.
As always the Housewife trips are being sold as these ‘relaxing and undwinding’ vacays, and they are anything but. The viewers even get stressed out during these trips.
Are they drinking their champagne from wine glasses? Dorit would NOT approve.
Actually I’m kind of judgy on that too. Use the right glasses! It doesn’t taste right if you don’t.
I’ve literally never seen so many sets of fake tits in the course of an hour in my life.
******
Porsha is house shopping since the mansion that what’s-his-head bought for her is about to go into foreclosure.
Have I mentioned lately how bad Porsha is at gold-digging?? She chooses complete fucking douche bags or dudes that don’t have the money that they pretend to, or both.
Things would have been so much easier if she just would have started here and bought her own dang house to begin with.
If she can afford this on her own, wtf does she need to put up with some skeevy greasy guy for?
Where did she live prior to the house with what’s-his-name? She sold it like a dumb ass? Or maybe she was renting.
It doesn’t really matter I guess. I find Porsha so humorous. Kind of like in a Teresa Guidice kind of way. Laughing at her, not with her.
She tells her mom they’re going to have to play “paper/scissors.” She forgot about the rock I guess. Literally SO Teresa.
She reflects back to her ‘first divorce’ comparing it to this one. I didn’t watch Atlanta back int the Kordell days but judging from these clips, he sounds like fucking pond scum.
She tries to sell us in her yap how she’s learned from her mistakes. Yeah okay Teresa, I mean Porsha.
This woman. You have to almost feel sorry for her.
She reassures her sister and mom that she and Shamea “are good.” I don’t really think most viewers care, because we see how Porsha is manipulating and manufacturing the drama.
Her mom and sister are basically her flying monkeys and sit there and agree with with whatever dumbassery comes out of her pie hole.
******
Brit is hosting some crap to promote her shapewear.
I was clenching and cringing and already getting pissed off as soon as I saw ‘Chawwles’ on my screen and you know, it wasn’t THAT bad. Could it be he acted almost normal and respectful towards Angela? I even saw a laugh!
I suspect he got a talking to.
All kidding aside, Angela does not know what the fuck she’s doing with this flipping gig.
This house looks like shit. A very important part of this, and what I thought would be the fun part, is the decorating, staging, and making them look enticing and livable.
When looking at houses, buyers want to feel like they can picture themselves living there and being comfy there. Part of that is the house looking clean, homey and welcoming.
Like duh Angela. Is she really showing this house looking like this? Ripped up blinds and trash everywhere? I have no words.
She had to reduce the price to what she bought it at, so she will make no money from this sale, and be in the red most likely.
There’s no furniture. She doesn’t even have it staged. She is an idiot. Realtors must be losing their minds seeing this.
She has 2 million dollars she borrowed in this endeavor.
She starts talking to Chawwles about this feud he and her mom are having over housework.
I’m so confused as to why SHE is apologizing to him??
He literally told her mom “your daughter needs to learn to clean!” Whatever her mom said or did to him, he deserved.
But she’s apologizing to HIM?
She explains why in her yap, and it makes no sense.
Chawwles is actually mildly pleasant and jovial in this scene, for whatever reason.
Literally the first time I’ve seen him laugh, or even smile, since the season started.
Even Brit’s guy is not scowling anymore. What’s goin’ on?
It’s time for her event, so an excuse to get everyone together to argue.
I don’t get the random golfing in stilettos, after only Kelli and Shamea arrive.
So you’re telling me she has all of these people she invited there, and only the Housewives are getting served dinner, right in front of the filler people?
That’s brutal. That’s embarrassing. Do they even have snacks? Wow. This screams broke ass. She even gives the Housewives gifts in front of everyone. She gives Angela an extra-large shapewear.
They flash on the ‘others’ are they’re looking on, and seem a little put off. So you’re going to seat people in a dining room at a table, and not serve them food? They’re looking at each other laughing at this point. What else can you do? The lack of common every day social manners is astounding.
Angela randomly announces that Chawwles does NOT have a side baby. Out of nowhere.
Chawwles also makes it clear that his side pieces are NOT whores.
Porsha seems very anxious to move the subject off of Chawwles before she gets called off for saying she wanted to fuck him when she was drunk.
She desperately complains “this is a lot for this classy meal.” Well actually, it’s fried chicken so it’s not really that classy, but she’s trying to move it along before someone rats her out.
For some reason, I don’t know why, it doesn’t get brought up.
Shamea and Drew argue about the lapdog comment, and her music paying for ‘Pilar’s college.’ I kind of feel like she said that in jest. I hope so anyway, because it was really stupid. But it is Drew.
Everyone abruptly leaves. Wonder if the peasants get to pick at their leftovers.
******
I guess Porsha really laid down the law about Dennis ‘feeelming’ with Drew because he zooms in on this scene, of Drew signing a recording contract.
You would think he would be soaking this shit up.
All the men suddenly seem to be awful obedient.
Drew wants to FaceTime Dennis to ‘clear the air’ about her alleged comments he shared of her wanting to trade certain services for his music producing services.
You can’t even see his face on the FaceTime call. That’s hilarious. There’s his nose, and he has shades on.
Not the ‘brother’ comment. That is such a dead giveaway. If you follow Summer House, Jesse and Ciara were selling their friendship as ‘brother/sister’ which was anything but.
Dennis sort of glazes over that question, totally doesn’t answer it, then starts talking about how talented she is. Wow Dennis. Good job. All you have to do is tell a woman she’s pretty or talented at something, and you’re off the hook.
He’s only showing half of his face on the computer screen too. Porsha won that battle. I’m kind of thinking we won’t be seeing him with Drew anymore. I could be wrong, but probably not.
******
Someone thought we needed Phaedra back. I didn’t watch the early Atlanta days, but she seems really sneaky and strange, as evidenced by the flash they play of the 2017 reunion.
That was pretty shitty of her to make up about someone, (Kandi) even if it was about Porsha, that they said they were going to drug her and take her to a sex dungeon? Can’t make this shit up.
As Phaedra is recapping her mistakes, she refers to that behavior as “playing with fire.” Okay, I guess that is one way of putting making up heinous lies about someone??? Don’t think that’s the correct analogy phrase for something like that but, whatever it takes.
Porsha seems to be okay with her now. Not sure about Kandi though. Maybe that’s why we have her back, since Kandi is gone.
These bitches are really good at sugar coating when it comes to their own horrible mistakes.
They start talking about Kelli’s diminutive size and in MY opinion, she gets a little un-PC and offensive when referring to ‘little people’ as in dwarfism, and how much she loves ‘little people.’
She had a Christmas party with little people dressed as elves? She cannot be serious.
‘Little people’ are her fetish? What is wrong with this woman?
“Give me all the littles, I’ll bag them and put them in my basement.”
What?? Sounds a little Jeffrey Dahmer. And when you take into account she’s a damned undertaker, just euw.
That was all some offensive shit that I’m kind of surprised they aired. I’m not saying I’m personally offended, but I’m sure some people are.
Porsha fills her in on all the new ladies. Some she knows, some she knows of.
Porsha is now reactivated about the Drew and Dennis thing, so you know this is coming up again, even though she said multiple times she’s dropping it.
What else does she really have to talk about besides her latest gold-digging failure that she would rather not discuss.
Great news: Phaedra will be included on the Caribbean excursion!
