Barbie’s and Fraser’s bar convo ends on a positive-ish note, I guess.
She admits to being a spoiled brat. Fraser should have also admitted to being a little bitchy and sassy, as she called him. Because he is. He’s kind of overcompensating from last season when he was a pushover.
Jared is in an absolute tailspin and tizzy over not being able to execute his phone call to his daughter, which given the circumstances, shouldn’t be having him this upset. Hear me out.
This child is three, so she doesn’t know about schedules. And if this mom/ex girlfriend is that much of a twat, that she’s going to ‘cut him off’ from these virtual visits, when she knows he’s WORKING, in another country (I could see if he was out goofing off) then that’s one really effed up dumb ass bitch.
I’m assuming he’s also monetarily helping with this child, so if she cuts him off from their interactions, does that mean she passes on the child support? No, I’m sure not. There has to be some way he can communicate with this chick and let her know he’s trying to get through, and can’t.
It seems like he’s being so overly dramatic, and we already see how he seems to have really low self-esteem. I’m not being hard on him, he seems like a nice responsible kid, but he does need to chill. But not with alcohol.
But I do hate his hair.
Now Barbie claims he’s giving her ‘the ick’ when she had been flirty with him, so that’s not what we need.
He comes off as a little bit of an acquired taste. Definitely says corny weird things. I think he just tries too hard.
I would go for Anthony if I were her. For obvious reasons.
And then there’s Cat always saying that she feels insecure. She’s insecure about her body, her looks, if crew likes her or not, if the guests know who she is… Jesus, maybe she should hook up with Jared, and they can just sit and compliment each other.
Barbie tells Kyle that she wants to be Jewish, and her soul is Jewish so she’s been studying Judaism. “Jewish people are the best” she says. That seems like a broad statement.
.Jared continues to try to call his daughter. We see Kerry not having an issue talking to his family. Could he, like, ask to use his phone, since he’s not having connectivity issues? Or since they’re docked, could he try to use a landline somewhere? Is there another communication method on the boat that he could use?
I feel like there are options here. Send an email to this chick so she knows he’s not blowing off the call? Send smoke signals, morse code or something?? I don’t know, but it’s coming off as an inauthentic issue, that could be resolved.
Kerry calls for Jared, and they discuss this plight, and Kerry offers no alternative solution for him to enable him to execute this call. He tells him he understands, and it’s okay to show emotion, and let him know if there’s anything he can do to help.
Oh, and you’re the bosun, so get your shit together.
Not – ‘hey try using my phone, I was just able to call my kids (in Australia I assume) with no issue.’
If this is all contrived, then the dude is a good actor. Crying on queue is not easy, especially for a guy I would think.
Fraser goes to the Captain again about this nonsense girl drama, that I can’t imagine he cares that much about, or needs to know.
He wants to ‘allocate stripes’ and we know Barbie will not be the recipient.
I’m sure most viewers were rolling their eyes knowing this is just to piss people off.
Jared recites a little rhyme to Barbie that does nothing to help his situation.
She could just have a sense of humor about it, instead of being so judgy.
Jared is looking quite disheveled, and I don’t get the towel argument with the provisioner. This seems like something Fraser or one of the girls would be better equipped to handle.
******
Guests will be arriving – a bunch of Realtors that sound very picky, and a bitch that likes to drink form solo cups, as opposed to stemware.
Jared continues to very dramatically unravel in his cabin. This can’t be for real. I don’t know. Is it?
He has an odd convo with Kerry. At this point, this Captain has to feel like a therapist or a guidance counselor.
I’m so confused why we don’t get try to get this kid in touch with his ex and/or his child, so he can stop looking homeless.
It’s definitely looking like he’s not capable, mentally, of being in this role.
And oh what a coinkidink! There’s Lead Deckhand Ben, ready and qualified to step in. They probably have Ben’s replacement in a hotel near the dock ready to roll, as soon as Jared leaves or is dismissed.
The guy looks like shit. Kerry seems to be sort of encouraging him to leave by telling him that he left a position when he had things going on at home.
Again no suggestion to help with his cell connection issue. No sense in trying to fix the problem. That’s just crazy talk!! Let’s just let him suffer!
******
Fraser rewards the resident Dracula chick with the stripes and second stew honors. In her yap, she says doesn’t need pieces of fabric to make her feel worthy. This girl is so drama-free. So we know we’ll never see her again. She also seems to have zero interest in hooking up with any of these losers.
Who all thought she was going to be a freaking wacko in the first episode when she was announcing that she was a vampire and a witch? Out of all the stews, Fraser included, she’s actually the most normal one.
Anywho, predictably, this pisses off our Brunette Barbie Doll, who thinks she’s the better stew, of course.
He could’ve just skipped the whole ‘second stew’ thing, but what fun would that be?
Daisy didn’t dick around with it on Sailing Yacht last season, and I don’t think there’s ever been a Below Deck season in history, where all of the stews got along, including the chief. And who missed all of the petty squabbling and tattling? I did not.
She vows that she’s still considering herself second stew. Okay, Barbie girl, that attitude will get you really far.
Xandi is frustrated that Cat’s housekeeping and cleaning is still not up to par, despite all of the training she’s been giving her.
To be fair though, this is some pretty nitpicky shit Xandi is correcting, like the tissue box needing wiped off, and plastic on the ice bucket not showing. I’m not saying it’s not important, I get it, it’s a big bougee yacht. But I’m just – saying. It could be worse.
And she and Barbie are really strong stews, so is it such a big deal that she’s not doing things perfectly?? She does seem to be trying. And these are not huge issues.
******
You kind of feel the vibe through the screen, these guests are going to be a hot mess. Fraser verifies with the plastic cup chick, just to make sure it wasn’t a joke. It’s not.
Xandi lets Fraser know that Cat is still not catching on.
This puts Fraser in an uncomfortable position, since he’s kind of gotten a little too personal with her, in my opinion. I thought he learned from this last year.
Plastic cup chick demands “no faucet water.” Fraser’s right. She does NOT smile. At all. Eileen is completely shitfaced, and it’s only lunch.
They go snorkeling, which the drunk chick should have maybe sat out. Seems a little not safe, but no one seems to be concerned.
There’s a snafoo in one of the cabins, when a guest knocks a glass door over. I don’t understand what part of the wall or door that was lying on the floor. Apparently he was trapped in the bathroom. I thought that was going to turn into more of a thing, and these wackos were going to make a big deal ouf of it claiming the room isn’t safe or some shit.
Jared meets with Kerry yet again about the beach trip happening the following day. Kerry gets miffed that he’s getting personal feelings involved with the job. Or something. I didn’t really understand what Jared was even saying to be honest. He was mumbling, and I wasn’t getting it. Something about Ben. I don’t fucking know. Kerry seems to be losing his patience with him.
Drunk ass Eileen tells Jared as he’s helping run plates to the table that he’s lucky he’s good looking, because that’s all he has going on.
She has not interacted with this kid whatsoever, to be able to make that assessment.
I guess no one at the table even scolded her for saying that, so she knows to apologize. Who says that kind of shit to a fucking stranger?
And then there was the dude that told Barbie to lay his plate down more quietly.
These people are fucking douchey as fuck.
They start to argue because plastic cup chick starts eating her dessert before everyone has theirs. She complains she hates it, since it takes like eggs.
They look like cream puffs, so yes eggs are involved, and they do taste eggy. She shouldn’t have been served that. Come ON Fraser. She doesn’t like eggs!
Drunk Eileen further slurs at her, bitching for not waiting to dig in.
Plastic Cup leaves the table upset.
Fraser blames Plastic Cup for that argument, but it really was Drunk Eileen and the other bitches who were whining about her digging into her dessert before they were all served.
Like who the fuck cares? What a bunch of stupid fucking cunts.
Jared tells Barbie about Drunk Eileen’s comment and that it has upset him. I don’t think she cares that much.
That comment should have really been addressed with her husband who seems to be sober, or someone sober in the group, because she is not going to remember saying that. They should not be allowed to say insulting shit to the crew. Drunk or not.
Barbie needs to stop serving them. Let’s use our head here, you’re BRUNETTE Barbie.
Karma steps in, as she always does, and the dumb ugly bitch slips when she gets out of the hot tub and whacks her head on the side of it. That’s going to hurt tomorrow. Barbie escorts her to her room.
Now Jared is freaking out again.
He needs to let that shit roll off his back. Did he look at her?? This comment was said by a fucking drunk out of shape, ugly, spoiled old bitch, who looks like she’s the one that has nothing going on in her life, besides guzzling vodka all day long.
But I get it, it was hurtful and shitty. On a positive note, she did call him good-looking.
