I will try so hard to get all three reecaps done this week ! But probably not!!
The Seder dinner continues unfortunately.
Erin called Hailey a home wrecker.
Erin should’ve done her homework before she said that, or just watched the fucking show once or twice.
I don’t know why everyone drags Erin so badly for being a ‘shit-stirrer.’ She’s a lot better than most of the other shit-stirring Housewives. Of which there are many.
Hailey insulted her first, so she’s fair game. Erin knows calling her a home wrecker upsets her.
Being called ‘boring’ IS kind of a shitty insult.
Can Erin be uninteresting and mundane? Yes. So while I agree, Hailey, ya put it out there, so ya need to suck up a jab being taken at you.
That’s what we do here.
Never thought Jon and Kate fucking Gosselin would be a subject on Housewives, but here we are.
We also have a half-senile Martha Stewart so why am I even surprised?
Watch, next year Kate Gosselin will have moved to NYC and is a Housewife or friend.
Hailey accuses Erin of ‘playing the victim.’
Here is a perfect example of that phrase being this go-to and completely misused.
Erin is right. How is she ‘playing a victim?’ You jabbed at her, she jabbed back. There’s no ‘victim.’ It’s so dramatic.
Carole interjects with some Carole-ness that ‘boring vs homewrecker’ are not comparable. Who asked you Carole?
Hailey storms out. She does that claiming to quit, and ripping her mic off thing which we’ve never seen before. I get how this pisses her off. It’s just not true.
Kate is the one that fucking cheated. It’s so stupid.
Sai runs out to console Hailey and brings with her a weird Queens accent that we don’t usually hear. They return.
Daisy keeps whining about how much time and money she spent preparing the dinner.
Erin in her yap explains it wasn’t so much the boring comment, but the snickering and whispering when she was sitting right there. The jam on the table with everyone in on the joke but her. She’s kinda right. She kinda has a point. That’s so immature.
Why does it not surprise me that Daisy has a dude that drives her around, does household duties, and serves when she has dinner parties. What kind of late-night texts is she getting from this guy I wonder.
I loved when Carole asked for salt. That’s totally me. I think not putting salt and pepper on the table is diabolical. Why do you gotta make me people ask for it?
You could tell she hated to ask. We salt lovers get severely judged. Daisy even has to LOOK for the salt? What sort of household IS this?? Jews don’t like salt or what??
Carole confronts Jessel about what a nincompoop she was came of as, yammering on and on about Carolyn Bessette’s fashion, which Carole gets all mad about for some reason.
I get Carole being annoyed with the ‘Kennedy curse’ comment. That was just so
fucking tactless, but the whole fashion thing I just do not get.
I remember when Carolyn was still with us, getting photographed and followed around every time she walked out the door. This was 90’s and before social media, but there were other outlets, (insane I know) such as TV and articles. There were always comments made then about her style being very minimal, (probably a different word was used then) but her outfits were always on point. She knew the classic staples to own, and how to wear them.
She didn’t even wear jewelry at their wedding. She thought accessories were distracting. I mean it WAS a thing. Carole’s weirdness about is well, weird.
Carolyn hated to be in the public eye and hounded by press and paps constantly. Maybe that’s where Carole is confused? She DID care about fashion. It was evident, not to mention SHE WORKED IN FASHION.
I feel like I’ve spent way too much time on this. I don’t dislike Carole. I think she’s witty, smart and funny. Now I learned that we’re salt sisters, but she needs to let this go. This being annoyed at the comments about her style is so dumb.
Just for the record, when I’m dead, everyone can comment on my awesome fashion sense ALL THEY WANT. Carolyn is probably up there saying ‘shut up Carole!’
No one is saying it’s all there was to her, and she had no substance. No is saying that.
Carole also has to keep in mind these girls are millennials. She’s a boomer. She could be their mom. There’s a whole ass other generation between her and these ladies.
They were kids when the crash happened. They probably didn’t even know who ‘JFK Jr’ even was when it happened.
If you asked them when JFK was assassinated, they probably wouldn’t know. If you asked them who Lee Harvey Oswald was, they probably wouldn’t know.
Not that you had to have been alive when all of this unfolded, but none of them come off as history buffs. Jessel isn’t even American.
Carole does need to keep that in mind. This series is a novelty to them.
We get it, this is Carole’s ‘thing’ and why she was brought back I would say. If this Love Story series wasn’t ever made, she wouldn’t have been asked back.
I kind if think it’s weird when Jessel says “obviously I didn’t know her” and Carole claps back with “nobody knew her.”
Excuse me what??
‘
Nobody’ knew her? Carole YOU were the only one that knew her?
She didn’t have two sisters, parents, friends. Various other family??
It’s almost giving Carole had a little bit of an obsession with Carolyn Bessette.
I’m getting the impression that Carolyn was Carole’s best friend, but that sentiment was not reciprocated. If they were so close, why was Carole not portrayed in the series?
Carole also addresses Jessel’s ‘Kennedy curse’ comment but seems more pissed off that Carolyn had effortlessly great style. This is why I’m having a hard time taking her seriously, to be honest.
I certainly hope the surviving sister and her family doesn’t get wind of that. I feel like Carole knows they’re private and not SM people, so she feels empowered to say whatever without them calling her out.
‘NOBODY’ knew her but YOU? Okayyyy Carole.
It’s giving obsessive ‘Single White Female.’
I do give Carole props for referring to Jessel as ‘dingbat vibes.’
If there’s is one word that describes Jessel it is dingbat.
Jessel starts to ask Carole to not spoil the ending, then catches herself. Because of course, that’s ridiculous.
There is NO fucking ‘spoiler.’ You know how the shit ends. Dingbat.
Did they even re-encact the crash? Like what was going on inside the plane before they went down? I assume they’re doing their best guess. I haven’t seen it and don’t want to. Imagine the terror Carolyn and her sister felt when it was pitch-black, and they realized he didn’t know what the fuck he was doing.
The dumb ass flew a shit plane he had no business flying, especially at night when he didn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. He gets disoriented because he has zero visibility, and no clue how to read the instruments. So he just said ‘fuck it’ gives up, and lets the plane go down. What a moron.
I even remember my husband, now ex-husband, the MOST non-empathetic insensitive person on the fucking planet, commenting about the selfishness of JFK Jr. taking ‘the two women’ on the plane with him when he didn’t know what the fuck he was even doing.
If he thought it was fucked up, then believe me it was FUCKED UP.
I remember thinking, I don’t even think he cares about whether or not I live or die and suddenly he’s Captain Compassion over these two broads he doesn’t even fucking know.
Whatever. Who cares. It’s insane that I even remember that. I guess the JFK Jr plane crash is the Gen X equivalent to ‘where were you when JFK was shot?’
Sort of.
I do remember thinking, wow what bad luck this family has.
OKAY SO BACK TO THIS – SORRY.
That whole popcorn ceiling thing was so disgusting. It’s one thing to make a crack, and let it go, but she and Erica just kept at it. And making Daisy have to explain WHY she live there was excruciating. Because she wants to! Because she likes it!
By the way Jessel has posted on social media that her mom pointed out that their home in London has popcorn ceilings!
I’m trying to remember if I ever had popcorn ceilings. If I did I guess I need to hang my head in shame.
Daisy shares that she did feel judged and made fun of.
Jessel thought she was laughing WITH her, not AT her.
They were definitely laughing at her. It was pretty hard to watch.
So they get into the whole ‘rent control’ of it. Everyone chimes in how that is golden, and they’d be crazy to give that up.
I get it, I do, but Eugene has lived there for twenty years. At some point, he has to be like, it’s time to move out of this shoe box.
Sai wants her to admit she’s ‘bothered’ that the other ladies have better apartments.
Daisy drops her rental payment and everyone gasps. Sai claimed on WWHL that she’s lying and it’s not really only $300. I don’t know why she would like about that but whatever, Sai. You have a deep hatred for all, way down in your soul.
Erin the supposed ‘Realtor’ schools us in her yap and explains that real estate in NYC is “insanely expensive.” What?? Who knew? Thanks so much Erin!!
Erin the ‘Realtor’ gets it wrong by ‘explaining’ that rent-control means your rent can’t ever be raised. I questioned that, and I know Erin talks out her ass, so I looked it up (Remember she thought she and Abe invented/discovered Mezcal, enough said.)
She is wrong. The building owner CAN raise your rent, however only by a certain amount. The point is your rent does not coincide with current market conditions.
And thanks to Erin informing us, we know that apartments are very pricey in New York City.
Sai and Daisy start to bicker about Daisy being sensitive that she’s deemed ‘poor’ and Sai’s insanely overpriced Manhattan apartment with ‘amenities.’
It takes a comical turn when Sai starts to scowl and scream about how ‘happy’ this stupid 25 grand/month apartment makes her.
Carole’s got it right. She’s the angriest ‘happy’ person she’s ever seen.
That reminds me of someone who’s ALWAYS insisting they’re ‘happy.’ And he’s always happy ‘for the first time in a long time.’ Like dude you’ve told me you’re ‘happy for the first time in a long time’ like 4000 times. Exactly how old ARE you? LOL. And how UNhappy are you??
I wish I counted how many time she said this apartment makes her ‘happy.’
If it takes an insanely expensive rental to make you angry/happy, then more power to ya! Keep livin’ that dream! I honestly don’t get throwing that much away in rent every month. You’re legit making someone else rich(er) while your get poor
She keeps saying ‘goddamn’ over and over. Do really happy people say ‘goddamn’ every other word?
I admire the fact that she’s not living off of a man, and earning the money herself to pay for it, but when you look at her hostility as she’s reassuring us she’s happy, I think she has a lot of resentment about that.
She’s so mad David her Baby Daddy (she had both kids before they got married) didn’t turn out to be David, her Sugar Daddy.
Pick a better one next time, I don’t know what to tell ya. She thought a guy that owned a bar was swimming in cash? Mkay.
We went from Daisy’s popcorn ceiling, to Sai being SO goddamned happy, to Erika inviting the ladies to her private island.
I actually think the only one at the table that’s ‘goddamned happy’ is Erika. I mean you don’t see her sitting there screaming about her happiness. Just SAYING.
******
Sai has a sit-down along the water with her aunt that she’s close to, to complain about David. It’s hard to believe this guy walked on water their first two seasons.
Now he’s a lame broke-ass unemployed (aka ‘retired) loser that charged her birthday dinner on her credit card.
If you’re married and living under one house though, does it really matter?
That was apparently the deal breaker.
Her New York accent keeps popping out again, that I guess she normally suppresses. It is weird none of them have New York accents. She and Erin are native New-Yorkers. Not sure about the others. Besides Jessel.
******
Jessel scolds Pavit for quitting his corporate job to be a food influencer.
I like when she says ‘Pavit pivited.’ Did she try that? He claims he’s got things in the works that he can’t discuss (on camera we assume he means.)
He’s been at this for a while. I feel like he should be monetizing at this point. He’s already (sort of) famous.
******
The Hailey and her mom bird-watching scene, what even is this? Her mom gives zero fucks about anything she has to say, or how she’s pissed she got pushed into dating Jon Gosselin. Her mom just looks at her like she wants to get back to bird-watching.
When she finally speaks she refers to the situation as happening to ‘them.’
Why is production having her again explain how she got with Jon? Dad did the tummy tuck. Jon needed a place to say when they split up… Mom said ‘hey why don’t you date??’ Her mom is a little frightening honestly.
******
Martha and her publicist are dining al fresco and Martha starts clicking at a little kid walking by like you would at a bird. I honestly think she just wants someone to notice who she is.
I’m not even going to drag her for thinking he was girl since he has his hair in a pony tail. What’s that about?
She insists on this child taking a drink of an ice water sitting on the table because he ‘looks thirsty.’ She misunderstands his name being Steven, when the mom says it’s David, then she pushes the glass wayyyyyyy to the side of the table exclaiming how disgusting and full of germs and bacteria it is and no one better even LOOK at it.
Should we even get into the mom allowing her kid to drink from a random glass of water from two random old ladies? I doubt she knew who Martha was.
Martha talks to Daisy like she’s some peasant she scraped out of the gutter.
******
So we have Carole’s charity theater event thing.
Housewife crossover alert! It’s Tilly!! Hailey keeps feeling her up.
Tilly’s quirky but it’s making her feel pretty uncomfortable. She declines the offer for the hug.
Hailey and Erin bicker as the auction or whatever starts. Carole gets quite miffed.
They get corrected by a rando at another table. I’m not seeing any paddles being raised either. If you’re not donating, go home.
They make up. I honestly think Erin just wanted to jab back at her and did not realize she would melt down.
Erin is NOT a bully. She’s boring and dumb, but definitely not a bully.
