Here we are – season 15 RHONY! Second of the reboot!
Here’s my Reader’s Digest condensed version – or Cliff’s Notes. If you’re of a certain age, you remember those.
It was somehow chaotic and boring at the same time. Erin is uptight, Jessel is miserable,. Sai tryin HARD to pretend she’s not still a demon.
Abe clearly cheated on Erin so why doesn’t she just spill it??
Love love Jenna. Love her energy so much!!
Ubah, she’s fine I guess. Still recalling how she acted last season over Erin taking her phone to her room for 45 minutes. It was over the top, and demonstrated she has extreme anger issues. It kind of left a bad taste in my mouth honestly.
Brynn has pumped up her queer-baiting, baby talk, and her overly flirty and sexual behavior. Flirty is fine, but it’s too much and giving brainless and lack of substance.
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I could have just left it there but I’m still going to recap. I feel like I have to.
I can’t seem to pull up the episode on my laptop so I have to rewatch it on my phone which means I can’t get pictures. So this may not be great.
Then again was the episode great? No it was not. It was a lot of fucking nonsense.
Erin is so cheap bitching for covering Jenna’s uber when her car broke down. $250 to her is like $2.50 to a normal person. Stop being such a fucking tightwad Erin!! It’s SUCH a bad look and embarrassing.
She’s a boring buzzkill AND cheap.
What was the big fucking deal Erin. Jenna would have done that in heart beat and said not one damned word, ever.
We don’t watch Housewives to hear you all complaining you’re owed a few bucks.
The taglines are dumb. I forgot about Sai and the ‘hungry’ thing.
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Brynn has a new apartment and once again, what she does for a living to afford her sort of lavish lifestyle is up for debate. She’s a freelance something or other.
I kind of have an idea what she might be ‘freelancing.’
She even resorts to flirting with the movers. They think she’s fucking nuts.
Her brother is visiting from South Korea. Cool. Not that interesting.
But in RHONY’S defense, season premiers are often kind of slow-moving.
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Jessel is soooooo annoying and such a buzzkill. A New Yorker, supposedly, and she’s going to cry about taking the subway because she’s way too fancy for that?
Stop.
Again the lack of chemistry between these two is palpable. Jessel can’t stand him and Pavit pretends to not care or notice I guess.
We all know from last season, dude LOVES his Vietnamese food. Jessel bitches as they’re waiting for their train, that she looks way too fabulous to be waiting for any dirty train that only poor people have to ride.
And she doesn’t look that fabulous. It’s not like she’s wearing a ball gown. She’s wearing a leather jacket and head to toe the color of shit.
Think you’re fine going to Chinatown Jessel, calm down. You’re literally NOT overdressed.
She bitches at Pavit (because you know she bitches at Pavit for existing) for ‘making’ her get so dressed up and he’s like “I didn’t make you wear that.” He did tell her they’re going o Chinatown so I don’t know what she didn’t comprehend. Then again she is still pretending to be a New Yorker.
She bitches about the spot being a little to casz for her. She also bitches about Pavit getting into being a food influencer.
I love how he just ignores her annoyance. Also an obsi – apparently they’re still not having sex.
Apparently he’s still not into her.
Remember that scene last year where she was being super flirty and sitting on his lap and he looked like he wanted to throw up?
I probably still have those pictures. I felt sorry for her.
That wasn’t grounds for divorce I guess. She’s still with him and still hammering him about having this girl baby that they have frozen.
He does NOT want to have another kid with this woman.
She bitches at him for ‘not planning stuff’ such as her birthday. This dude has checked out.
He’s so much more into those dumplings than he is into her. I can’t take screen shots on my phone anymore of the episodes, for some reason. They turn out black.
I wish I could get a shot of him devouring his dumpling as he’s trying to pretend she’s not there.
She reminds him they are paying “a lot of money” for their embroyos to be stored in Beverly Hills. Why stored in Beverly Hills? We do not know.
“No more kids.”
“Don’t you want a little girl?”
“No.”
Why would you even want to have another kid to a man acting like this about it?
He would rather chop his dick off than have another child with her. Even though they don’t even need to have sex to get it. Their relationship is sad.
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Why do these ladies think that every man in New York wants them? Ubah gets Brynn-like and tries to dangle herself and fake offer her fabulousness to a random guy in the restaurant getting in her shot. I like how he said “my fiance wouldn’t like it.”
Like NO INTEREST. At all. ‘Shut her ass down. ‘Get over yourself’ he was probably thinking.
She expected an ‘in my dreams’ type of comment, and he didn’t bite.
She and Erin meet for lunch or whatever and they are back to being besties.
We meet new Housewife Becky/Rebecca Minkoff, a fashion designer and Erin’s friend. For now of course.
Ubah has a guy. She wants to have a baby with him since her clock is ticking even though they haven’t been together that long.
Brynn is hosting a get together. Yay. Can hardly wait. That’s sarcastic.
Erin gives the new girl the rundown on everyone.
Wake me when this is over.
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Love the group boutique furniture shopping scenes, where I am sure a basic end table is $10,000.
Brynn does her usual hanging all over Jenna, making out with her and doing her usual thing. Jessel is also joining this fakery. I doubt she’s buying a table here.
Here we go with the ‘what does Brynn do’ game.
And of course there were podcast comments made that something seems off given her lifestyle and her lack of doing any sort of ‘work.’ Something DOES seem off. Last season she mentioned she’s a ‘marketing genius’ or something. And she does like two hours of work per week and makes bank. She said something like that. It seemed really vague.
Which is how people usually are when they’re up to no good. Vague. Erin tried to have her back and answered ‘no’ when asked if someone ‘helps’ her but you could tell she didn’t mean it. Jeff Lewis who was the podcast host, says with no hesitation said “I do.”
So be mad at Jeff Lewis.
Brynn retells the Uber story that Erin was spouting off that Jenna must be broke to be driving a broken down care and made Erin pay for the Uber. Guess she didn’t have the app on her phone? Not sure why she didn’t just call herself. I can totally hear Erin making that type of snarky comment.
In her yap she even admits it was ‘annoying’ that Jenna never paid her back. Again we don’t want to hear this petty broke-ass sounding shit from Housewives.
Why don’t you own your own home or apartment Erin? Why do you rent? Isn’t she in real estate?
She’s the one that sounds fucking broke. Thought I read something recently that they were behind in their rent at that other apartment and that’s why they moved so maybe projecting Erin? Is Tom Hanks spending too much money on his girlfriends or what?
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Sai you can tell is trying really really hard to do damage control due to her ‘evil munchkin’ as I referred to it, behavior. She got new boobs too.
She’s acting remorseful of how she treated Jessel last season.
They do a cold plunge. Was Sai serious that she thinks you lose weight doing this?
Can you believe she’s been on screen for a full three minutes and I don’t think she’s even said that she’s hungry yet.
She’s on a ‘zen journey’ Can we stop saying ‘journey’ on Housewives? And zen? Remember when Wendy on Potomac dubbed herself ‘Zen Wen’ a few years back?
That was a joke.
Thank God she got some therapy though, even though I’m not a big therapy person. I think it’s kind of a racket. Why? Because they don’t actually help you. What sense would that make if they gave you good advice and helped you? Then you would stop going. And paying.
I was always apprehensive about it, then I became familiar with this woman a few years back, that’s been in therapy for years and allegedly has several different ones, but never seemed to change her despicable disgusting behavior.
Long story short, she’s a groveling lying cheating whore that offers sex in order to be loved and accepted. This bitch should be a therapist’s dream to try and ‘fix.’
But actually she’s a therapist’ dream to keep confused and unable to deal with problems and issues on her own.
The woman needs to go to sex addiction institution. For real. Normal women don’t behave that way. And she’s fucking ugly AF too. It’s weird. It’s all just weird. What kind of a man is attracted to that garbage whore? One that also has issues, that’s who.
Back to this, Sai spews out more word vomit about her ‘journey’ and ‘vibes’ and she’s now supposedly accepting people, and not screaming her head off like a lunatic constantly.
I think someone should definitely ask her how she met her husband this season.
She drones on about how Brynn hasn’t accepted her apology from screaming at her last season and they haven’t really spoken over the last several months, but is she coming to Brynn’s event?
Why yes of course she is! This season she’s going to pick on Jenna for some reason sounds like. She nitpicks that Jenna used ‘hate’ instead of ‘can’t stand’ when she confronted her about it.
Sai has the intelligence and maturity of a gnat. They flash on the scene from last season when Jenna didn’t want to fly coach so took her own separate flight to wherever the hell they were going.
She can’t stand Jenna over THAT? Jealous much??
Sai wraps up by claiming she’s learned to control her emotions.
I know someone else that needs to learn that craft as well. Maybe I’ll try to find out the name of her therapist for him. More embarrassing when a dude acts this way in my opinion.
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Jenna is meeting her girlfriend’s mom for the first time, supposedly, and going through her shoes.
New wife Racquel is introduced, and she’s also a lesbian. Not that it matters, I’m just saying.
This shoe thing goes on longer than needed. Wonder if we’re meeting the girlfriend at some point. We know that she’s short.
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Erin, Tom Hanks and their kids go out to an ice cream. Erin brags that they’ve moved back ‘uptown’ to the Upper West Side, where their true calling is and where they belong. Because you know, she’s so uppity and important.
They have some weird fake rehearsed sounding convo about moving again into a townhouse Erin has been eyeing.
She tells them there’s an old cherub mural on the ceiling, and Hanks makes a crack about having some ‘shrooms and staring at it for hours. Erin goes fucking berserk telling him he can’t say that. They then flash on last season, of her also making a joke about tripping out.
So it’s pretty clear that these two partake in hallucinogens. She calls him stupid and he storms off.
Erin, literally no one cares if you all take mushrooms or acid or whatever. Actually it makes you seem like you might just be a smidgen cool, so if I were you I’d just go with it.
So is Brynn’s dream about to come true?
Erin gets emotional in her yap about Abe and some possible troubles, which doesn’t take a genius to figure out what the troubles might be. First of all, guys cheat, and second of all he admitted last season he would cheat on her if she didn’t provide sex on the regular. I actually haven’t even heard any of this.
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Brynn’s function is on a rooftop bar. It’s looking like it’s early spring the NYC.
Jenna arrives dressed like a vagina.
Erin and Sai arrive. Erin feels uneasy because Brynn is the one that stirred the pot about this Uber situation.
Erin probably made some kind of crack like “is she broke?” in reference to her not paying her back for the Uber.
Again fighting over money is what we do not want to hear about on Housewives.
I’m not sure about Brynn’s outfit. One of those long sheer dress things and her entire ass is on display. I’m fine with sexy but you know it’s a lot. Or not a lot.
A lot of bare bootie for a semi-formal event.
So all of the silly grievances are getting aired out.
Jenna saying she heard Sai hates her, and Erin saying Jenna is broke.
Sai confronts Jenna and tells her she didn’t say she hated her, just that she didn’t like her that much because she didn’t feel she was being herself last season.
And Sai knows this how? I thought Jenna was the most authentic one on the show, actually, so are we projecting again?? Because YOU’RE not yourself??
Remember she accused Jessl of this exact same thing too. So it sounds to me like a Sai problem.
Oh yeah she was getting all mad at her last season, also for giving the girls gifts.
This chick is off, and should stop taking her issues of being raised by an alcoholic out on everyone.
Tom Hanks tries to make a dirty martini and uses cherry juice. Probably the most entertaining scene in the whole very very long episode.
Wasn’t she wondering why it was pink?? (actually it doesn’t sound bad! I’ll have to try it! -and it’s pink!)
Jessel and Erin argue about the broke Uber story. Last year it was the cheese story, now it’s the Uber story.
I’m missing the old RHONY girls. I don’t care how old they are. I don’t care if they shit on the floor, and in the bed. Shit happens.
Brynn brings up being pissed at Erin about the Jeff Lewis podcast. Now they’re yelling about Pavit looking like Dorie on Finding Nemo,
I seriously can’t.
Brynn leaves her own event after Sai calls her Satan and a narcissist. Brynn is the furthest thing from a narcissist. Sai and the projecting tonight. She’s just like d********. Every single thing she does she accuses others of.
Didn’t I tell you ‘zen’ Sai was a bunch of BS??
It’s lies, none of it’s true. It’s BS!!
