I’m so glad there haven’t been any super-sized episodes lately.
What in the WHAT is wrong with this Ann chick? She’s so fucking passive and subservient to stupid Sandoval. She’s apologizing to him because she’s in a pink dress since she’s going to the Barbie movie as he arrives home from Tahoe.
Girl, grow a pair. This man is a shit human. Not the most shittiest human I know of, but close. Stop sucking up to him.
So is her ‘job’ seriously to hang at the house and be at his beckon call? Even if he’s not even there?
Tom’s all giddy because on the trip, some of the crew is starting to come around, and not be hating on him so much. Scheana, James and even BlaBla after their fight.
LVP still needs to have some relevance to the show, even though no one works at her restaurants anymore, and she ridicules the fact that Schwartz and Sandoval are only 2.5% owners of TomTom. But she didn’t mind using their names and likenesses to generate business. Which I know, now probably isn’t helpful, but at the time they had a pretty decent fan base.
So she’s kind of like the Mrs. Garrett of The Facts of Life. Except I think Mrs. Garrett always gave good advice. She needs to not be wearing these tight low-rise skinny jeans anymore. They’re not really even in style anymore, and not flattering on her.
Scheana drops in.
“I cried soooooo much my eyelashes were dried and hurt.”
Said no one ever, except for Scheana Shay. How do your fake eyelashes ‘hurt’ Scheana?
Anyway she gives Lisa her sob story about Sandoval, and how she’s softening up and realizing Ariana doesn’t have the right to tell her that she can’t be his friend.
The way Scheana talks about Sandoval, I was wondering if people would start wondering if she had some sort of thing for him. Well, seems they are. Especially her comment about Tom being “so unhappy with her for so long.”
What Scheana is not realizing and I don’t know how you can be this dumb, is that Ariana is not the one to consult about her sadness of losing Sandoval’s ever so precious and irreplacable friendship,
If she really needs to drone on and whine about it, pick somebody else to do it with. This isn’t hard. Like you wouldn’t bitch about your husband to your mother-in-law right? You would find the appropriate person to do that with that does not have a conflict of interest.
And the way that she keeps repeating “why can’t it be about ME for once?”
I’m at a loss.
I think maybe she should focus on HER relationship, and her actual husband, you know the father of her child, and the dude she was beyond desperate to marry just a few short years ago??
Instead of worrying about fucking Sandoval?
If you’re in love with Sandoval, Scheana, just say that!!
Now the whining about Dancing with the Stars ensues. Lisa manages a very overly dramatic reaction to this revelation.
Lisa seriously encourages this shit of her complaining to Ariana that she misses her ex-boyfriend so much.
Scheana is the victim here you know, and Lisa encourages this narrative since she’s desperate for all of them to all be besties again for the purposes of the show, and her restaurant.
Now as if that wasn’t bad enough, BlaBla lectures Ariana about being more in tune with Scheana’s feelings about losing Sandoval’s friendship.
She’s suddenly jumped on board with that completely exaggerated scenario that the entire internet population was roasting her for standing beside Sandoval in that fan photo.
So I can feel okay calling her BlaBla. Last week I think I made a comment that she was sounding almost sensible and I might have to stop using that. I don’t.
BlaBla manages to convince Ariana she should respond to the dragging of Scheana standing beside him in that stupid fucking photo. How is it even possible that this is now a thing?
BlaBla even dictates to her exactly what she should say to her. I feel like she’s overstepping, and I would have expected Ariana to tell her that. We need angry Ariana here to tell her she’s pushing some boundaries. Since we love saying ‘boundaries’ so much now.
But to be devil’s advocate here for a sec, Ariana’s ‘he’s not getting access to my life’ and that’s her reasoning to not share common friends.
A. He doesn’t seem to me, to give a shit what she’s doing. He’s barely even mentioned her. B. They’re public figures on a very popular TV show, and it’s public knowledge as to what she’s up to, as far as projects, boyfriends, etc. If she just wants him to suffer as much as possible, and I CERTAINLY do not blame her, then just fucking say that. I’m in my ‘just say that’ era apparently.
Whatever – she agrees to defend Scheana about this fake social media non-issue.
Ariana must have heard me bitching at the TV, because she said exactly what I did to BlaBla – she’s not the person to come to with the Sandoval sympathy train.
“But she lost one of her best friends.” BlaBla has the fucking nerve to say that to her.
“So did I, two of them.” Not to mention she was the one that was completely betrayed by both of them. You can’t fucking compare her situation to Scheana!
What in the hell!
The scene ends, without BlaBla replying to that. But what would she even say?
“Disengage!?” That’s pretty much all she’s got anymore. Ariana is right. And BlaBla is living up to her name.
Why do we need a Kristina Kelly appearance? She’s boring, she’s boring and last of all, she’s boring.
Espresso martini’s with tequila I don’t get. And I did try it. Our moms always told us we had to try it before we said we didn’t like it! Tequila goes in fruity mixes, end of story.
Katie, Kristina, BlaBla and Scheana all meet up for dinner.
And we have no idea what is going to be discussed. Scheana and Kristina don’t care for each other, I don’t think. That was a really fake greeting when Scheana arrived to the table. Kristina tells her she looks cute, but I don’t think she means it, or maybe she’s really jealous. She gives her a Kourtney Kardashian “yeahhhh” with a glare when Scheana thanks her. I’d love for these two to start getting into some of their shit from eight years ago, you know just to mix it up a little bit, if ya get my drift.
She continues to do this weird gaze at Scheana when she talks about Summer breaking her arm. And yes that is very ironic that she would break a limb on Scheana’s watch.
She wants filled in on the latest drama. Really girl? Couldn’t you have just read Page Six before you left the house? As Scheana happily unloads about Tahoe, we have to sit and watch Katie and Kristina who are basically the same person with different hairstyles, sit and exchange constipated glances and scowls at each other.
When it comes to Katie and Sandoval, I’m going to have a really hard time ‘picking sides’ because I can’t stand either of them. Yeah Sandoval was bitchy to Katie a lot, but Katie is also so fucking unbearable.
I might have to give her a pass on this face though, when Scheana called his tears ‘genuine tears.’
‘Yes’ she answers Kristina to him being more sad about losing her friendship then the break-up with his girlfriend of ten fucking years.
Wow Scheana, just wow, that takes balls to say. It’s okay if you think it, but putting it out literally into the universe is fucked up. Especially when this is your good friend.
And I don’t think Sandoval ‘misses’ her at all. He just wants back in with the crowd so he’s invited to shit. And Ariana is right, that he knows Scheana is the one that is the easiest to convince. Sandoval is not that bright, but he’s conniving. That is for sure.
I don’t know what Jax and Brittany have to do with this. Well I guess you can easily compare Sandoval to Jax. Both lying, cheating pieces of shit with no conscience, and no morals what so fucking ever. Like someone else I know.
Katie confirms what we now know, that he’s been running around on her. I don’t know why this makes Katie so smug and smirky. Brittany is the sweetest most salt of the earth soul ON the earth, and does not deserve that. I think she really wanted to believe that Jax changed, and was sincere in wanting to be with her. This is why I can’t stand Katie. She’s getting pleasure from this. How does Brittany feel watching that, I wonder? Katie doesn’t care. She wants everyone to be as miserable as she is.
You know, when you really WANT to believe something of someone that’s done nothing but let you down, it really does cloud your judgment and common sense.
Scheana refers to Sandoval banging Raquel behind Ariana’s back for months, even in their own house, as HER grieving process.
I just can’t.
I’m having to agree with Katie, which I never do. Cut ties, move on. He’s scum. Be a girl’s girl and a friend to Ariana.
But, in all seriousness you do have to see that this is Scheana’s ‘thing’ for the show. What else does she have? She’s a boring married lady now (at least for the time being) with a toddler. Next season I foresee the separation being her ‘storyline.’
Katie is still reeling about it even when they try to change the subject. I don’t even think she heard Scheana say she fucked the bartender in 2006. She goes into all of her grievances with Sandoval, of which there are many.
Trying to be diplomatic since I can’t stand either of them, but when Katie was being a fucking See You Next Tuesday, Sandoval had no problem telling her, and no one else ever really did.
I thought we were going to see Tequila Katie come out, but she kept it together.
******
Sandoval meets LVP at Pump/TomTom. I’ve never known her to order a Diet Coke. Is she turning into Lisa Barlow? She continues to buy into, or pretend to buy into his ‘depression’ and thoughts of suicide.
She drops the bomb that she’s spoken to Raquel, and that she’s not interested in picking up where they left off. At all. Not even a little.
What’s with this stupid necklace he’s wearing? Did he get that out of a gum ball machine? At first I thought it was one of those candy necklaces. What a turd.
You can’t blame her. First of all, it’s Sandoval. And when you start off a relationship based on sneaking around, lies, false promises, and deceit, and based on sex only, it’s not sustainable, and it’s not real.
And then when you put into the mix it’s someone like Tom Sandoval, how in the hell did he even think she was going to come out of this facility and they were going to be a couple? Did he think that? Like dude, when your chick has to check herself into an institution to get away from you, and the trauma that you caused her, it MIGHT not be a good sign. Might not be a rosy future. Not to be a Debbie Downer or anything.
I love how he denies all of these quotes that you can totally hear him saying. Like it’s not even a question whether or not he said it.
He wants everyone to give him all of this grace, however he continues to lie through his teeth.
“Life is lying.” He ONE HUNDRED PERCENT said that to her. No fucking question.
“She blocked meeeeeeehhhh!” he whines.
Well then it’s over and move on, she tells him. There’s always Billie Lee.
In Lisa’s yap she shares that Raquel told her that she felt manipulated and used by him. Well that’s because she was manipulated and used by him. I know how that feels and it’s so hurtful and it makes you feel like a fucking idiot. Too bad I’m not famous and on a reality show and have the platform to tell the world things that he said and did to me. Because it would be embarrassing for him.
I could still let some people know, that he wouldn’t want to know, what he is actually like, and how he lies to his whole family, and puts on this phony facade of a respectable normal guy. Which he is NOT, and his ugly girlfriend is just as bad.
******
Please tell me why in the world BlaBla needs an office and two conference rooms?
What does BlaBla have conferences about? She tells Lisa she’s ‘rebranding’ and doesn’t want the ‘Give them LaLa’ logo anymore. Whatever who cares. I’m sick of listening to BlaBla, and most certainly sick of listening to Lisa Vanderpump.
She wants to have a baby, with a sperm donor because apparently she ‘loves being a mom.’ I don’t know why I have a hard time believing that. Well, I do know but I don’t really don’t want to get into it. I need to wrap up.
I’m assuming she wants to get rid of ‘LaLa’ in her business name because no one can fucking stand her. She’s still trying to sell us that she’s this new improved human and not the deplorable piece of shit that we’ve known for several years.
People are not able to change their entire personality, okay?? More ‘reserved?’ Give me a break. We noticed that in Tahoe.
Isn’t it a little disturbing in her yap how she explains that she wants a baby that’s only her baby, and no one can come and take it? It sounds unhealthy. I said I wasn’t getting into this. And here we go —- the tears!! Poor BlaBla had a child with a horrible man, who she was only with for money.
******
I guess this Jo chick is getting dragged by viewers as being oh so annoying, and I really don’t get it. She’s certainly no more annoying than fucking Ariana, Scheana, Katie or BlaBla. She’s so adorable. She’s goofy, I am seeing that. Wouldn’t you rather watch someone on TV that’s fun and wholesome, and doesn’t take themselves too seriously, than look at Katie and Ariana and their constipated faces?
I’m assuming she’s a wannabe actress, with all of her theatrical mannerisms and weird voices.
I do think it’s kind of sad that she seems into Schwartz, and he is not reciprocating. To me, it looks like he’s leading her on.
She seems annoyed he keeps calling her his ‘friend.’ And why is he so weird about dating?
A guys’ Frank Sinatra Rat Pack-themed dinner out, Schwartz proposes to James.
These guys, could they be bigger goobers?
Schwartz has a date, but not really, with Jo since he’s denying that they’re in a romantic relationship for some reason.
He admits they were more than friends last year shortly after he was separated from Katie. He feels the need for whatever reason, because he’s Schwartz, to explain himself for dating or being with other women, after his wife told him she wanted a divorce and they were living separately.
They go back and forth in their yaps saying the opposite things about their friendship/relationship.
I don’t know why stupid Schwartz isn’t j umping at the chance with this girl. She’s the absolute polar opposite of Katie Baloney, which is good in every way possible. Schwartz needs a chick like this.
And what fucking dude says they need two-three years after their divorce to start dating again?? NO DUDE EVER. Usually they have a new chick within days. Frequently the side chick they already had. I think he is autistic actually, and I’m not making fun of him for that. I just think it explains some things about his odd behavior and social awkwardness.
******
Okay, so this dorky Frank Sinatra evening is underway. They do look spiffy. Maybe I shouldn’t make fun of them. But, I want to. That’s what I’m here for.
Meanwhile Ally is hostessing a girls’ astrology/birth chart event with BlaBla, Scheana, and Constipated 1 & 2 attending.
Every time Scheana says anything, Katie makes sour faces. I can totally believe she was a dude in her previous life.
Ariana shares that she was basically depending on Tom financially. That could be one reason why she wanted to remain in the relationship even though she wanted nothing to do with him, ever.
James needs to stop worrying about Raquel and what she’s doing and who she’s with. They broke up a while ago. He’s moved on. He was a dick to her 90% of the time anyway.
Sandoval just CANNOT figure out why Raquel wants nothing to do with him.
At the girls’ event, BlaBla is on her soapbox again about Sandoval. Even Mr. Banks is annoyed.
It gets heated when Katie has to poke her nose in, when Ariana is more than capable of speaking for herself. Katie hates him and that’s not going to ever change. She has a right to feel that way. Perhaps they butted heads so badly because they’re a lot alike.
Katie’s not having her cryptic crap of “no one’s going to like what I have to say about that…”
Normally people just let her go when she’s talking out of her asshole, so I’m diggin’ this.
And BlaBla’s new lame go-to when she knows she can’t win an argument, “disengage!” Being from Utah, she most watch the Salt Lake City Housewives.
She sounds like a dumb ass. Can’t stand the Randall sob story. Cannot stand it.
Ally says everyone can get along if we understand each other’s birth charts.
Well don’t tell Bravo that, they’ll be out of business.
Honestly I think Katie is the one harboring the most resentment from Scandoval.
She looks like she’s going to stab someone, as usual. They are giving this dude way too much energy, but what else do they really have to talk about? Mr. Banks looks on in the background wishing he had arms.
