Kind of cute how James buys and picks out outfits for Ally. She doesn’t like to SHOP!! What in the literal hell is wrong with this girl? How many times was she dropped on her head?? She better not tell the other girls that. Forget if I said this last week or not, but who

I just don’t know about James – claiming to have gotten electrocuted by the rose bush. Yes Ally, don’t argue with stupid. Sandoval’s having a pool party. I guess Ariana is refraining from calling the cops on him for having a party. In his own house. These are two stubborn mother fuckers, I’ll give them

I’m so glad there haven’t been any super-sized episodes lately. What in the WHAT is wrong with this Ann chick? She’s so fucking passive and subservient to stupid Sandoval. She’s apologizing to him because she’s in a pink dress since she’s going to the Barbie movie as he arrives home from Tahoe. Girl, grow a

I feel like the ‘Sheash’ thing came out of nowhere. Like ‘Mo’ on RHOBH. Honeymoon seems definitely over for Brock and Scheana, I’ve noticed. BlaBla climbs into bed with ‘Sheash’ to talk about what else?? What the fuck else do we talk about here, but Tom Fucking Sandoval?? If we’re so annoyed with him, STOP

Summer seems a little old to have to be rocked to sleep with a bottle for a nap. That’s my little piece of unsolicited judgy commentary right off the bat. You do that with infants not toddlers. That’s a very firstborn thing to do, I guess. If she has another one, which I really can’t

I don’t like Katie’s haircut. There, I said it. I feel better. James and Ally are hosting a pool party. I picture all of these prima donna assholes bitching about the airplanes. I can barely stomach scenes at Tom and Ariana’s. And that fucking massive painting of the two of them, why not take it