Finale – here we go, getting late start on this.
It seems like if I have ONE extra thing to do, it throws off my recapping!! And I hate it!
Madison recaps the whole season for us as if we need reminded.
I guess it makes her feel important.
Every time JT is accused of saying something douchey everyone is all like “that’s not JT. JT would NEVER say that.” But do they really know?
It is very possible he’s putting up a front, and when he’s with certain people he does say shit like ‘yeah some black chick is after me’ or called Patricia a bitch.
There ARE people that are completely different than what they portray in public.
SOME people that are embarrassed about their shit behavior, lie and pretend they didn’t say and do shit they KNOW THEY DID SAY AND DO.
ANYWAY – Venita drops in on him, and it’s just a little too much to believe. It seems coincidental that Venita would have had NO STORY LINE if it weren’t for this JT fake romance.
If you’re paying attention to what’s going on now, they’re having non-stop petty social media he-said-she-said arguments.
IF this barber story is even real, and that’s a big IF, you could totally see that JT may have innocently said ‘this cute black girl…’ like you would say ‘cute redhead’ I guess. It’s possible he didn’t mean it to sound racist.
And then when Mr. Barber relayed it to Ryan, he could have easily said, ‘yeah JT said some black girl is into him’ also without meaning for it to sound derogatory.
It’s so DUMB.
JT explains it to Venita using a lot of words. ‘Word salad’ as they say now.
I see now he’s changed it to ‘beautiful black woman.’ Before it was ‘cute black girl.’ It’s the same thing, but different, but why is he changing it?
Not really if sure Venita is buying this, but she acts like she is.
She corrorbs his story. “That’s not how you talk.” As if she knows exactly how he talks to others when she’s not around.
He adamantly refuses to attend the finale fight party. I totally assumed he was going to attend.
Who doesn’t love a good head butt??
******
Shep meets up with Whitney. Whitney is so Whitney. He really is a breed all his own. Like this dude doesn’t even remind you of anyone you know, right??
I wonder at what point Shep reconciled with what’s-her-face?? I assume shortly after filming. Maybe she pretended to get back with him so she could get another tooth necklace.
Does he really refer to her as ‘sweet?’
Sweet??
She’s about as sweet as a bucket of lemon juice with some gasoline poured in.
Whitney and Shep are such a cringy pair. Two trust fund spoiled brats that literally have never even had a fucking job.
They discuss Molly’s crush on Shep. I heard that was all bullshit too and she had a boyfriend the entire time.
He calls her as they’re dining, and invites her to the finale soiree. Of course she says yes.
They actually are a cute couple, I hate to say. I wouldn’t wish Shep on anyone though.
******
Paige seems not annoyed with Craig as they drive to the airport. I guess because she’s leaving.
I love Craig’s smile. When he smiles, it’s like his entire face is smiling.
And believe you me, when he’s not smiling, his entire face is NOT smiling.
Why is Paige suddenly ‘going to Italy with her family?’ This was Miss Blue Collar upbringing, summering in the back yard, now they’re hopping on a plane to Europe every two months.
Craig is miffed she’s going ‘on tour’ (as if she’s a rock star) with her stupid podcast. You can tell he’s annoyed. And possibly jealous.
This is when she does her infamous hair-twirl with snide reply when he asks when they’re getting together again, “this is the last time you’re ever going to see me and you just don’t know it.”
I literally would NEVER say anything like that as I’m ready to board a plane.
And who even says that as a joke, to someone they supposedly love??
She’s such a fucking bitch. She honestly needed to break up with him at this point. It was perfect time when cameras were still rolling. You can tell she didn’t want to be with him at all. Why hang on for four more months?
There had to be an ulterior motive.
To wait until filming was wrapped so she could do both shows and talk about her dumb podcast?
She couldn’t dump him immediately because that would have been obvious, so she waited two more months. Right before Christmas! Perfect!
And after she orders him to buy her a ring and book a trip to Europe for New Year’s.
******
Time for the finale fight event.
I really want to go buy some feathers just because Madison and Ryan don’t like them.
I don’t think the event planner cares they didn’t like the feathers.
Guys don’t ‘get ready together’ for events.
But according to Craig and Austen they do. Or is it just Craig and Austen??
I’m so glad these girls made up.
It’s official, we didn’t see Gaston after the first or second episode. I’m sure Taylor was immensely disappointed she couldn’t flaunt him around Shep.
And Salley’s guy? Weird. Just weird. He’s excited to hang out with Craig he tells her.
Okay.
Shep picks up Molly. Of course he would think playing with the door knocker balls wold be ‘fun.’ That’s probably something gay guys would be into.
Like come OUT already!! We don’t care!! He literally cannot stop fondling them. I think MOST people, guys especially would just knock on the door and laugh at the door knocker. Jesus.
So we think maybe this is his commitment issue? That he just doesn’t like girls?
And he continues to play with them as he walks in.
I can’t.
He finally manages to let go of them, and hugs her. Probably the first guy ever that came to her door and played with them for an entire five minutes.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Shep makes a ‘There’s Someting about Mary’ reference. He’s clearly still thinking about balls. I think she knows what you mean Shep.
He wants to continue talking about dick.
We’re graced with the presence of Leva. Dressed like Pebbles. That dress is horrible, and she’s horribly annoying trying to be the LVP of Southern Charm.
Don’t know what’s with what Shep is wearing. I didn’t notice earlier because I was too busy watching him play with the door knocker balls. It’s a good thing Molly looks so stunning, you don’t really notice him anyway.
Patricia arrives making her token appearance as Whitney’s date and immediately wants the A/C. She was like a lime green blur. Which is fine.
Salley and Taylor have a chat about “keeping each other’s name out of their mouths.” Simply over Taylor making a joke out of Austen wanting to see her tits in the Bahamas.
Asinine. I don’t blame Taylor for walking away. Taylor should actually just walk away all together.
******
Leva and Venita summon Ryan as he rambles about the fucking feathers.
I hate when there’s a convo on Bravo, and people start barging in and spectating.
Madison feels the need to participate. As does Rodrigo.
They don’t last long. Leva also gets dismissed. So why didn’t Venita talk to him one on to begin with? Because Ryan is so scary?
I’m sure that made him feel ganged up on, which isn’t cool. I guess they called a truce. Who cares.
Austen and Craig have a moment.
I think the only straight Southern Charm guy is Craig to be honest with you.
I really thought JT was going to be at this event and there was supposed to be this big huge drama. Not the case. He doesn’t show up.
Why does Molly kiss Shep? Taylor is right. She CAN do better. Maybe someone that likes girls for starters.
I wonder if her boyfriend minds. I wonder if HIS boyfriend minds.
Did he even kiss back?? Didn’t seem like it.
So they had sex that night? Euw. Shep probably just wanted to go back to her place to play with the door balls some more.
******
Cameras rolled again in December or whenever, after Paige and Craig broke up.
Paige really needs to stop with this constant “I’m a different person now.” If having a successful podcast and a little more fame and recognition makes you a completely different person, that’s not something you should brag about.
You should still be the same person.
Austen and Shep are like Housewives in the way that Housewives love when something terrible happens to a cast mate. They’re loving that Paige dumped Craig, but pretending to feel bad for him.
I just can’t wrap my head around her asking him to get her a ring when she knew she didn’t want to marry him. She wonders why so many women are pro-Craig. That’s just a shitty thing to do. She was never goimg to marry this man and she knew that. But hey, jewelry is jewelry.
I can’t believe he was moving to New York, and out of that house he loved so much. You know he really did lover her to do that.
I caught Austen smirking. Told ya he’s happy about it.
