I so want to know what the tea is with Whitner.
I know, consider the source, but Salley made a cryptic remark on WWHL shortly after the premier when asked why none of the girls went for him. It does seem weird since he’s cute, has good manners, successful, comes from money, all the things we though these Southern girls want…
I forget what she said exactly, but she eluded that there was something ‘wrong’ with him that made him undateable.
I immediately wondered if he’s gay.
Speaking of gay guys, (not that there’s anything wrong with that) Shep and Whitner meet for a run, as if Shep runs.
Whitner assuming Madison being eight months pregnant wouldn’t want to stay the night at his family’s compound outing, was not accurate. Madison gets serious FOMO I think. She’s STAYING. She’s not missin’ nothin!’
I would be afraid to be doing any type of travel at that point, but the priorities here are Bravo, not our baby apparently.
Brett can’t be a fan of her galavanting around so late in her pregnancy, but the dude basically lives on the west coast, and I think Madison pretty much runs the show.
Oh and also why is she drinking all of these non-alcoholic beers? I feel like they’re so full of sugar and unhealthy empty calories.
I had to get that judgy little vent out. I’m also not a Madison fan, I guess you can tell.
Who is NOT over Austen and Craig constantly competing and bickering about absolutely nothing?
That birthday dinner spat was worse than any Housewife episode.
Austen needs to try to reel in his obsession with Craig. Who cares if Craig wants to go back to drinking liquor?
It doesn’t even seem like he’s concerned; he’s just pissed because off.
He claims he feels mislead since Craig broke down last season that he thought he had an alcohol problem.
******
Charley brings Craig’s new artwork to his house.
What did I notice immediately? It doesn’t seem especially heavy, but awkward to carry. He doesn’t offer to take it from her; he says “can you carry it?”
Of course she says yes, to that because it sounds like he really doesn’t want to help her.
Craiiiiigggg come ON. Carry the fucking shit into your house, asshole. Like why bother meeting her outside if you’re not even going to help, dipshit.
And who says ‘can you get it?’ to a woman?? Keep in mind he’s into this girl!! What the hell Craig? Do better.
******
Salley and Molly meet at a head massaging spa of some sort. Molly wonders if she just made plans with her because she’s at odds with everyone else.
There’s some really bad editing going on here with the shampooing. Salley has freshly washed hair, then the next shot has wet hair. That was distracting, but they’re gossiping about Venita and think she’s turning them against each other.
I don’t really think Venita is smart enough to be that calculated, but okay.
******
They head to Whitner’s family compound. He lets the girls (Shep and Craig) know that there are not enough rooms in the house so there are ‘glamping’ tents set up.
He has like, the best manners. He does not fit in well at all with these guys.
Okay so speaking of manners, we have another scene of an example of bad ones. I have to admit I didn’t pick up on this until it was pointed out on social media.
Venita approaches Austen carrying all of her bags and what-not and a tray of coffees. Austen, as he tells her she has “a lot of things” all that he does is take HIS coffee from the tray. Can’t even take the entire tray from her!!
Why are these two even riding together? Seems like an odd pairing.
I see we’re adding Rodrigo to the mix. Now it’s making more sense (wink, wink.)
In the girls’ car, is Salley, Charley and Molly, Salley tells Charley that Craig is saying shit that’s again, getting taken out of context.
I feel like he did mention apprehension of starting a relationship with Charley in the event things wouldn’t work out, and she would get hurt.
At least that’s how I recall it. It did not seem like an arrogant comment.
Salley is coming off like a jealous psycho, as Molly describes. But then again, is she just doing her Bravo job, sadly.
Austen shares with his riding mates that he has broken up with Audrey. For no particular reason, really, other than, in my opinion, she’s not his type.
Austen is so closeted and needs to come clean. This is getting ridiculous. He continues to have HOT women throwing themselves at him, and he just does not care.
It’s so cold the way he recaps the break-up. He just tells her “we’re done?”
Which is how you word it to someone who is cheating or just an all around terrible person, neither of which applies to Audrey. Sorry Austen, that she has a vagina.
******
The Slagsvol family compound is quite impressive. If Shep is impressed, you know it must be good. He gives his stamp of approval. I’m sure Whitner is relieved. I keep calling him Whitler by mistake.
Jimmy Buffet was his (by marriage) uncle. Not that he’s trying to one-up Shep at all, but that definitely one-ups Shep.
Salley calls Austen for verification on this shit that Craig supposedly said.
SO Salley is ‘giddy’ that Austen eludes to her that he has broken up with Audrey. Yet he’s still pissed Craig doesn’t like her.
Salley gives me Scheana from VPR vibes, you know a 30-something boy crazy high school girl. She just wants any boy, it doesn’t matter who.
They prepare for a cook-out. Craig offers to ‘man the grill.’ The girls arrive (the other group of girls, that is.)
Salley has a weird infatuation with Austen, which doesn’t mean she’ll stop trying to turn Charley against Craig since he rejected her.
The nonchalant way Austen announced that he dumped Audrey was so disturbing in my opinion.
The gang is on their best behavior as they meet the parents and are extremely polite and using their fake ‘work’ voices, gushing at being invited. I feel like the parents are loving showing off this property. I guess I would too. It’s like the size of a small town and gorgeous.
Just a little fashion critique moment. It doesn’t appear especially sunny, but it’s June or July, and it’s clearly hot. Why is Molly wearing this long-sleeved knit set over her bathing suit? She looks hot. Temperature hot.
Charley is feeling apprehension towards Craig now of course.
Madison arrives, very pregnant and looking uncomfortable. That’s not stopping her though from her mingling with the crew though. I think it’s a little ridiculous this far into her pregnancy. Who would even want to hang around a bunch of horny singles with no kids when you’re (sort of) married and very pregnant with your second?
I think it’s been like a minute since she’s mentioned her tits, believe it or not. I wonder if she was breastfeeding? That would allow her to say ‘tits’ or titties, like twenty times a day, so she probably did breast feed just based on that reason alone.
Salley’s keeping tabs on Charley at the pool to monitor her interaction with Craig. The poor girl gets up to go into the pool and Salley’s like “where are you going???”
She clearly wants to talk to Craig. They’ve been here for a fair amount of time and haven’t even spoken.
I feel like Charley is too nice and normal of a person for this show.
Salley and Venita piss and moan about Craig.
I always wondered why Madison is the only one with a Southern accent. Just a little obsi.
Salley thinks this is sexy?? I can’t.
Then he announces that he stood there and pissed in the pool. What the fuck.
Salley confronts Craig about this arrogant-sounding shit that he said to Shep. I thinks sometimes he says stuff like that to Shep to seem cool.
Craig emphatically denies it, but he really should admit to saying something along those lines, but say that he didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Charley does let him off of the hook a little too easily.
Craig and Salley convene, and she tells him Shep repeated this to her. Craig again blatantly denies it and refuses to call Shep over to confront him.
Salley won’t let the it go and doubles down to Charley how she knows he said that. Which he basically did say. Craig walks by and overhears.
To further prove my point about Austen, he and Rodrigo arrive to their quarters (there are like what, thirty houses on this property?) and refers to the dock as “their cute little dock.” Austen come OUT already. None of these girls that have been with him, get this vibe?
Rod makes a ‘joke’ about sharing a bed and Austen says ‘sure, babe.’
Whitner looks intrigued. I was going to say ‘shocked’ then I looked at the scene again, and yeah ‘intrigued’ or excited perhaps, better describes it. Like his mouth is literally gaping open.
Austen whines about a pimple. Rod gives him a ‘kooky hat.’ OMG. They head out to the romantic dock area in the breathtaking twilight, and Austen makes a ‘Brokeback Mountain’ joke. Supposedly a joke.
It’s clearly awkward as they sit down in this extremely romantic setting.
Austen quickly brings up Audrey, claiming ‘it’s tough not to be thinking about her right now.’
Sure Austen, sure it is. I think you’re right where you want to be. With a dude. Rodrigo you can tell, has no time for his bull shit. He replies an empty “yeah” as Austen continues to pretend to be distraught. Pretty sure he sees through it. Pretty sure he hates this entire cast.
Austen continues in this excruciating scene to try to convince himself he’s ‘been thinking about her.’ “Of course” is all Rodrigo can come up with.
To be fair, maybe he is thinking about her. He’s thinking how happy he is that he doesn’t have to pretend to like girls for the time being.
******
Craig chats with Shep about what was conveyed to Salley. I keep hoping they replay that scene, but they keep not replaying it. Probably a reason for that. He DID say it.
Shep immediately looks annoyed with Craig’s rhetoric about wanting to be in a relationship.
Craig pleads his case that he swears he didn’t say anything of the sort.
Shep reassures him that he ‘knows’ he didn’t say that, because he’s not a bad ass that would say shit like that. Yeah, true, but he does try to fit in.
I guess I have to replay last week’s episode because Bravo is clearly not helping us out here.
Shep and Craig reconfirm this thought that “Salley is chaos.”
She’s also doing her Bravo job by making everyone talk about her. And yes, I agree she’s self-centered and messy.
Madison does end up going into pre-term labor. I don’t really find that shocking.
