John and Lisa discuss this very serious situation of Todd threatening to throw them out of the house.
It’s very sensitive, so they go outside, OUTSIDE, for fear of someone hearing them through the walls. Also they’re being filmed.
I guess nobody could over hear them outside??
Lisa says “this is soooooo uncomfortablllllllle!”
Lisa blames Whitney like any normal person would.
Todd is proving himself to be one unpleasant grumpy controlling fart face old man. Is that how he wants portrayed ? Apparently yes.
Lisa tries to find Bronwyn because she ‘definitelyyyyyyyyy doesn’t want to leave the trip earlyyyyyyyyy’ because she wants to celebrate Bronwyn’s anniversary with her.
Lisa just don’t wanna leave this big bougie mansion with a full staff of poors at her beckon call.
They convene for lunch. I thought Lisa and Bronwyn were going to be chatting privately. Well you know Bravo privately.
Lisa brings it up to Bronwyn but quickly manages to turn it around on her and her issue with Whitney.
I am going to agree with Lisa that Justin is fine, when Whitney cries that she came ‘charging at her husband.‘ As if she could hurt Justin who looks like he goes about a 275 pounds…
How did this turn into Whitney’s and Lisa‘s issue? Getting a little extra over it when I would be more impressed if he stayed out of it, and ate his damn food. Dude looks as if he doesn’t like to miss meals.
The mean bitter old man is starting to come unglued at the lunchtime bickering.
John defends his wife in his yap (as he should even though it’s Lisa) noticing no matter what Lisa does, the ladies think it’s wrong.
I believe I mentioned this earlier. I think they try to get a rise out of her because her reactions are so epic.
John Barlow tries to solve the Housewife strife, as he tells Whitney to just ask Lisa if she told everyone Whitney’s jewelry is cheap white label crap. Production stopped flashing those stupid ugly necklaces side-by-side. every time they start this fucking argument.
John reassures everybody that Lisa has never lied about anybody at the table. Well, she called me a bitch once, Angie challenges. Okay so that’s name-calling, not lying, technically.
John trying to paint his little wifey as sweet and innocent, is kind of funny. She’s not the worst of all Housewives for sure but she’s also not exactly exactly demure. Maybe we can agree that Lisa is very ‘passionate’ to put it nicely. Shawn says he’s been privy to some of their phone conversations and she thinks she talks borderline abusive to Angie. Lisa defends herself that she has ‘a different way of speaking’ and if she has hurt her she’s sorry.
I guess that’s better than being in full on denial, admitting she has a different way of speaking.
Both John and Lisa both look a little defeated. You can’t blame the dude, he tried.
He tried to paint his wife as the perpetual victim. Didn’t really land, but, in the words of Taco Emily, he tried.
******
Meanwhile, back in SLC, this scene is all over TikTok, being analyzed and ridiculed. Mary enters Robert’s room, that he shares with his wife/girlfriend. I don’t think they’re actually married.
We do know, all that they do is lie in bed all day, eat and partake in a lot of mood altering type of activities.
It’s funny how they’re in bed like fully dressed. Robert seems to be hiding something when she walks in, the chick pops up and immediately starts, shoving something in her mouth.
Mary sits there staring at them. It was really awkward.
“Did you drink out of that bottle an hour ago?” “Yeah” the girlfriend says. Well girl is honest.
Wonder what’s in the bottle. I think they’re up to worse things than drinking alcohol as you observe the room. Mary wants to know what their plans are for the week. I think she’s kind of looking at what they have planned for the week.
******
Beach volleyball time in Cali. I was prepared for that being a nightmare, but it was uneventful.
I like seeing who has glam and who doesn’t on trips. Looks like everybody brought glam, except Whitney. Guess the Alibaba jewelry isn’t doing that well.
I really don’t think John Barlow is okay. Like dude grow a pair, and get out of that marriage. Lisa is so annoying. Or should I say annoyingggggggggggg.
What happened to them getting kicked out of the house? I guess that blew over. So ten minutes ago. Did they even talk about it or address it?
Seems Bronwyn did get the $4 million necklace.
Guess if you’re gonna marry an asshole then you might as well marry one that can get you a $4 million necklace.
I was with two assholes that didn’t have a pot to piss in. Do I have a 4 million dollar necklace? Do I have anything to show for it? No, I don’t. So I put up with two fucking mommy’s boys pathetic losers, who couldn’t handle their emotions, and all of their constant big fucking feelings, and pissy fucking tantrums, for nothing,
As he puts the necklace on her, she tries to talk to him and he’s not having it. Not exactly Mr. personality is he?
Lisa always tends to wear jeans to formal events, it’s kind of her MO.
Bronwyn is sporting a $4 million necklace, and Lisa is wearing shiny cargo jeans and a T-shirt.
On a hot mic moment or maybe it was not accidental, Todd the tyrant is heard saying Lisa and John‘s tequila is mediocre. I kind of want to try their tequila. I never see it in our in my area. I could probably order it online.
At dinner, grumpy old man sits there with his arms crossed sulking. What literally is wrong with this man? One could say it’s the cameras, and he’s just not into the whole Housewife thing and you can’t honestly blame him for that, but a lot of it just seems like his personality.
Bronwyn gives us some insight by making a joke, that’s not really a joke, when she compares the weather being miserable, but also beautiful since it’s getting chilly, ‘kind of like our marriage – miserable but beautiful.’
Yikes. Are you supposed to admit that to a million people?
I think we know the ‘beautiful’ aspect she’s referring to. The more I observe these two, the more I’m seeing this is kind of a farce marriage, and Bronwyn is very unhappy.
Dude makes Tom Girardi look like the Easter Bunny.
He continues to have his arms crossed as Bronwyn tries to make an announcement talking about how much she loves him. This is embarrassing. I am so embarrassed for this chick. You can tell she’s humiliated at his attitude and body language, but is trying to ignore it.
They play ‘The Newlywed Game’ when not one couple here are newlyweds, but whatever. Minor detail.
Shawn can’t spell ‘Meredith’ and Lisa can’t believe she’s Bronwnyn’s least fave at the table. She does Kyle Richards open mouth fake shock face.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that they’re STILL droning on and fucking on about this ‘jewelry lie.’
Come on, guys. This rivals the idiocy in RHONY and the fake gang-bang pregnancy.
So this has turned into ‘smooth things over with the husbands’ time. Now Shawn and Meredith discuss their Housewife strife.
Meredith is pissed that he never apologized to her for saying she used Brooks’ sexual preference to deflect from her saying that Shawn is cheating on Angie with men.
As if because she has a gay son, she would never ever insinuate in a million years that a man might be gay.
I kind of get Shawn’s point. She was sort of doing that.
I don’t think Shawn nor Angie, (Angie especially – your charity awaits…) are very articulate. However Shawn did pretty good in defending his case I thought.
So Meredith before you brought this up you should have been better prepared with the exact verbatim quote of what he said on this fucking podcast (So tired of the constant ‘podcast’ arguments, is anyone else?)
When Shawn challenges her on what exactly was said, that has her all cranked up and getting Brooks in the middle of shit he doesn’t need to be, she tells him “I can pull it up later if you like.”
Meredith. Meredith. Meredith. Get your shit together.
Get your phone out and pull it up now.
She seems embarrassed that she didn’t know the answer, as she should be. It’s kind of important when you’re sitting here accusing someone of shit talking your kid, and being extremely devastated, that you know exactly what was said. Couldn’t Seth have been on this? Or is he too busy handling laundry detergent emergencies?
Whitney and her constant ‘proof.’ Also Shawn should know what he said.
Meredith is making her weird Meredith faces and doing those head twisty motions that make her look fucking psycho.
She admits she’s not using the exact words in her accusation, but her paraphrased version of ‘using her son’s sexuality to deflect from her bad behavior.’
They roll the tape.
“She took the opportunity to leverage her son knowing this didn’t turn out the way she wanted it to. Guess Meredith couldn’t be bothered to look this up beforehand and memorize that very short simple sentence.
To be fair thought, he did say ‘her son’ and he’s denying that. So again, it would have been very helpful to present this blurb exactly right if it bothered her so much.
As Whitney continues to press for ‘proof’ Seth proudly pulls up an article where the title is the author’s interpretation of the comment, and of course these sites will favor the ladies, always.
He didn’t need to be so dramatic with the “biaaaaatch” bit. Also no one has said biaaaaaatch anymore.
What would have been better ‘proof’ Seth and Meredith, is the actual recording from the podcast, which they should have already had prepared for. Come ON. Are we new here?
But at the same time I don’t blame Seth for freaking out, sitting there having to listen to Whitney say in her Marilyn Monroe voice “where’s the proooof?? Show the proof?”
This chick stopped maturing at 12.
She’s a little dumbfounded but I’ll give this one to Seth even though he said ‘biaaaaatch.’ She deserved it. She deserved to be called something worse. The conversation was between Meredith and Shawn anyway so Whitney just fucking shut it. Have a marg or two or six and shut it.
Angie: “A headline from a random blog proves nothing.” AGREED.
Also that was a lot of two syllable words Angie used, and even in the correct context while making perfect sense. So proud of her.
I’m beginning to think Meredith didn’t even listen to the podcast, just saw blurbs and headlines from the Bravo gossip sites. That’s kind of lame, Meredith. Especially when you’re trying to pick a fight over what was said and claim your son’s ‘sexuality’ has been exploited.
Also Brooks doesn’t give a fuck, most likely. I’m sure he loves the attention. Let’s be real here. Have you met Brooks?
No one even cares that he’s gay. Like no one. It’s not even any type of interesting subject anymore. It’s like talking about the weather.
Shawn claims he said ‘using the LBQTQ community for leverage, when he did in fact say ‘her son.’ BUT, he didn’t really say anything bad about Brooks, really. I don’t think a gay man is going to say something derogatory about another gay guy. Just saying.
There was no ‘pawn’ of Brooks, Meredith is indeed being dramatic.
I feel like Shawn is sort of handing her ass to her, which is kind of enjoyable.
Angie desperate to change the subject, refers to Todd, of all people. as one of the ‘funner’ ones at the table. Okay, Angie is back. Also she’s blind I guess.
Angie tries to bring up Bronwyn’s daughter ‘reconnecting’ with the horrible people that are the parents of the one night stand father. Todd shuts that down.
You know before we realized he was such a miserable controlling turd, I was almost fooled and thought it was heart-warming that he felt so strongly about the situation and was upset on Gwen’s behalf.
But he just actually likes to call the shots. And it’s obvious these so-called grandparents people are assholes. But then again, is that kind of the pot calling the kettle black?
Bronwyn rambles on and on, trying I guess to convince us that Lisa’s sudden realization as to who Gwen’s father is, is anything close to authentic. Mr. Personality tells her to shut up.
Bronwyn can’t possibly be surprised he’s acting this way. This vile demeanor seems to be his normal behavior.
She tries to sell it as he’s super protective over her and her daughter.
Mmkay. Let’s go with that. More like controlling.
Everyone’s looking at her like, ‘yeah sure, that’s it.’
Post arguing dinner, seems they went back to the bougie AirBNB and had a swimming time together. This never happens on Housewives.
******
So there’s an Indy Car situation the following day which I know nothing and care nothing about, and I doubt the rest of the crowd does either.
Brownwyn looks cute, but not sure if it’s what I would wear to the race tracks. Dressing for the occasion, very important.
She and Grumpy Old Geezer don’t even walk next to each other. He still has his arms crossed by the way.
Intelligence is just not the Housewives’ strong suit ever. That’s demonstrated by Bronwyn trying to have a serious chat with Lisa during the race when you can’t hear shit, in her naughty/innocent school girl outfit, and Lisa in her Steve Urkel glasses, at a dusty Nascar event, or excuse me, Indy car, whatever.
Not sure of the difference. Is Indy the ‘bougie’ one and Nascar the hillbilly version?? Seems like it.
Seth is now leaving for Ohio for his very urgent Big Lots area rug emergency. He did stay throughout the weekend since Meredith had a head gyration hissy fit.
Shawn is sooooo clever and soooo fucking smart. You know when Seth called Whitney a biaaaaaatch he ACTUALLY meant ‘bitch?’ He just forgot it wasn’t 2010.
Who knew? Who the hell knew?? No one Shawn. No one did. Thanks.
Angie and Shawn are borderline fucking slow. Did you ever wonder how that’s possible when both pieces to a couple are idiots??
What the hell is Justin wearing? So embarrassing. Whitney needs to stop trying to dress him.
All of a sudden since Meredith realizes she needs a ‘thing’ she’s now pissed that Seth has to travel to do his Big Lots thing, when in Ep 1 she was grinning ear to fucking ear that Seth was ‘back in Ohio’ and out of her hair.
This broad’s expressions and head gyrations are really something to behold.
Now she’s “not lovingggggggg iiiiiiit.” Okayyyyyyy Meredithhhhhhhhhh.
Bronwyn and Lisa resume their convo they had to delay when they were sitting at a race track.
I forgot for a minute what the beef was. Yeah, Lisa seemingly taking Heather’s side and not Bronwyn’s. Which is kind of funny since Lisa and Heather never really got along. The normal thing would be to support her friend of ten years, so naturally that is what is NOT happening.
I feel like I’ve lead 100 lives since that talk between Heather and Bronwyn and I barely even recall it.
Lisa seems to be doing a lot of word vomit style communication with Bronwyn.
I have no idea what Steve Urkel just said.
Bronwyn is all but begging Lisa to say she’s not two-faced and Lisa just will not do it. She won’t do it.
She even repeats back the question which is so condescending when you think you’re asking someone a no-brainer type question.
That was weird and awkward. Bronwyn just needed Lisa to acknowledge her feelings and tell her she wasn’t ‘two-faced.’ That’s it.
******
Todd is so dismissive and gives Bronwyn the cold shoulder as they’re packing to leave.
Because he’s an old man fucking baby, and all in his big feelings right now.
So there’s flight drama. One would assume they are taking the same PJ back home, but one would be wrong.
They’re flying commercial home. Oh. My. God. Rich people problems to the extreme.
It’s slightly less than a two hour flight (which is what it says online from Palm Springs to SLC) but they’re saying 65 or 47 minutes. I don’t know. Is it that important? Probably not. Bottom line, it’s not a long flight at all.
Doesn’t Bravo take care of all of this shit?? Why are we haggling and stressing over flights and seating arrangements??
Remember these bitches were just on not only a free vacation, but getting paid to take said free vacation.
Lisa clutches Angie’s hand like she’s getting ready to go off to war as they discuss their flight and how she doesn’t know where she’s sitting. What the fuck is wrong with this broad?? Does she wonder why her kid ran off to Colombia?? I know why. To eat hot meals and not have to listen to this shit.
So. Fucking. Dramatic.
Lisa is upset her ticket isn’t first class. On an hour long flight.
Her tantrum is so legend, as she eats a banana, whining how she hasn’t ‘flown in the back of plane since colleeeeeeeeeeege.’ She demands John check for other seats and other flights. No hurry in seeing Henry she says.
Who’s Henry?
“You want to make it longer and get home later just so you can sit in a bigger seat?” Wow, someone’s getting brave.
“Yeah” she replies with no embarrassment whatsoever. John looks at her like he wants to smack her.
That doesn’t really sound like the “great mom” she claims to be.
“Worst case scenario we can just fly to LA, there’s no issue with Henry.”
Poor Henry.
You can see John is so annoyed with her, but too nice and/or pussy-whipped to tell her to shut the fuck up. As I have mentioned, this is kind of new, he seems to be getting subtle (a little too subtle) digs in with her. He tells her to close her eyes and pretend she’s in first class. She ignores that.
I know she thinks she’s cute, but this is so pretentious and ungrateful.
