Another ski adventure with Whitney, Lisa and Jen. Whitney is forcing the amateur skiers ski down the big girl hill. Whitney snowboards. She doesn’t mess around. Lisa wipes out. Jen wipes out. It’s funny. Hey at least she’s giving it a college try. Not sure how many experiences like this she’s going to be getting in the slammer until she’s in her 70’s.
Whitney fills them in on that she made the choir, she also fills them in on not really giving the full reason why Heather threw her ass out of her house. She was being annoying as fuck. That’s why.
Jen bitches about her too, about the Angie and Chris Insta account. That no one cares about.
Whitney repeats that same diatribe that she “feels like she’s the one always chasing Heather down, and asking are we good?”
So let’s recap the 10/26 episode 5 show, where Whitney talked to Heather at the ski event and when Heather apologized, she accused her of not being sincere, and said it will be “taking her a minute to get over it” and for their relationship to get back to normal. And she wonders why she’s ‘chasing Heather down?’ Unless she literally did mean ‘a minute.’ Maybe she doesn’t understand the expression actually means a long time.
Then she played that ‘trauma’ card and explained that as being the ‘real’ reason she’s pissed at her. These are housewife convos where you really ARE losing brain cells.
Guy barbecue time in the Shah rental. No girls allowed. Do the SLC Husbands get paid? They seem like they’re featured as much as the Jersey boys, and I read that they are the only dudes on the Bravo payroll.
Jen enters the kitchen where the guys are hanging and she quickly leaves. Awkward silence ensues. No one knows if they should ask how she’s doing or refer to her at all. They all know she’s guilty and most likely don’t want to have to sit there and pretend like they don’t. These are guys. Plus they want to stick around where the food is. They just bury their heads in their food to avoid addressing Jen.
There’s a meat cooking lesson in the kitchen that they’re trying really hard to act interested in.
Seth and John go outside to discuss the ladies. Seth starts off with sort of chastising John for ‘ignoring’ Meredith at the last event. He denies that, and says he “was off in his own zone.” He should’ve just said he had nothing to say to her.
John laughs awkwardly. Seth looks at him so super fucking serious and doesn’t crack a smile. Is he kind of taking this all a little too seriously? Dude, it’s housewives. They’re forced to argue and dig up gossip about each other, and talk about the husbands. You signed up for this.
He probably was ignoring her. So what. What the hell does he expect him to say to her? Is he supposed to apologize on behalf of Lisa, pretend like nothing happened? How freaking dumb.
This feels over produced. Did Bravo really make this excruciating convo take place?
Seth asks John, how would you feel if Meredith called YOUR wife a garbage whore, and describes other fun accusations that Lisa uttered that night in anger and frustration. (it’s garbage TRASH whore, Seth, get it right)
John fires back in his very non firing back kind of way, “your wife brought up rumors that Lisa cheated on me just out of the blue, and so, I don’t know.”
Seth seems to assess that comment. John goes on to defend Lisa, (as he should) “I don’t think anyone can walk around and say that they never have done anything dumb, that they regret and ask for forgiveness.”
Does Seth look a little deer in headlights to anyone else? Did he really expect, since John is so quiet and easy going, that John was just going to stand here and succumb to his attempt at intimidation??
He comes up with “I think it’s more constructive when you have qualms with someone to say it to their face.”
So Seth is saying that if Lisa would have said this string of insults directly to Meredith– “you’re a garbage trash whore and you fucked half of New York, you’re a poser family, you rent because you can’t buy a house, you move constantly, your husband changes jobs every five minutes…” Yeah that would gone over so much better.
I guess his point is, at least Meredith addressed Lisa directly. Which she really didn’t. She spoke about it with Whitney, and Whitney then tattled because she felt so ‘conflicted’ and so terrible for gossiping about Lisa. I’m ‘laughing out loud’ as I’m writing that.
John: Again, your wife brought up rumors that Lisa was cheating on me.”
John seems pretty unfazed by Seth. I think Seth saw this going differently? He goes on to tell him that he agrees with him about communicating, and Lisa tried to talk to her a few times and she told her she didn’t want to discuss it.
Okay so guys, can we just call this even, and go back to the awkwardness inside, as opposed to the awkwardness outside?
They value each other’s friendship and lalalala. Seth has suddenly loosened up somewhat and has lost the drill sergeant face. Since he didn’t seem to be winning the intimidating stare down as he thought he would.
They return inside, and Seth addresses the elephant with asking Coach how HE’s doing. I think he just wanted to change the subject since John made him look sort of foolish.
I mean did he think John was going to step out of line and shit talk Lisa. Is he serious?? Well he was very serious. He looked like he was being tasked with achieving world peace.
Coach goes into some God speech (when all else fails, bring God into it, right?) “God never makes mistakes, (so many jokes there – so when she goes to the slammer that’s going to be God NOT making a mistake, God made her steal money from people and lie that services were being provided, God wanted all of those poor people to hand their hard earned money over to Jen to buy Gucci) and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be…” There’s more. It just gets worse and worse.
None of these ladies have the balls to say “so you really think she’s innocent huh? Yikes.”
John and Seth look at him like the wives look at Jen, when gets all soap boxy and claiming her innocence. Kind of think people would feel differently if she was owning it by this point and acting remorseful. This may come back to bite her in her ass when sentencing takes place in a few weeks. Judges kind of frown on it when you’re guilty and continue to lie, and act like you don’t give a shit
Justin shares HIS sob story now “I stepped away, or parted ways would be a better way to say it, (no SHIT CANNED for your teenage wife embarrassing the company would be a better way to put it) with the company I’ve been with for seven years.” Seven years. Big whoop. These dudes need to man up and just start doing some shots.
Coach doesn’t act why. No one does. They probably know.
Coach gets all intense and slow talker again, and yes, this is too much for dudes. They realize that and laugh at themselves for sounding like they’re in a group therapy sesh. Please let this be over.
Meredith’s sister talks just like her. With the stressing on the last syllables.
“Making a little white bean saladdddddddddddd”
And why are three fucking people cutting a lemon?? Four if you count Chloe looking on. Two people need to hold it down for the slicer? Is it goin somewhere? Is it alive?? Her sister doesn’t know how to slice a fucking piece of citrus?
So Meredith holds down one side and the kid thinks he needs to hold the other side? Has this family never cut a piece of fruit before? This is so fucking bizarre. What is happening.
Great way to cut someone’s finger off. Can we please NOT with the kids and awkward kitchen scenes anymore? If you don’t normally have your a kids helping you in the kitchen, then like DON’T pretend for the cameras.
Who the hell is Unkie? Seth?? Meredith tells Chloe and her nephew to run the food up to ‘Unkie.’ Or the brother-in-law??
Meredith in her yap referring to her nephew “…And last winter… he drank a bottle of bleach” Okay so don’t yell at me– because it’s SO not funny, I know, but just the way she says it. And bleach ??
Now Meredith fills in her sister on the Housewife gossip. Listening to the two of them talk is excruciating.
Good thing we’re moving on to ‘the choir.’ You can already tell Whitney came here just to start trouble and pretend she’s here for Heather and wants to work it out, but doesn’t.
Heather and Lisa argue as Cory tries to get the singers’ chords all warmed up. Lisa continues to defend herself against ‘the lie.’ No Lisa is NOT an empath. An empath would not have tweeted out an obit of someone’s parent dying, in order to make a point.
Lisa: “Do you like me?” Heather: no answer.
Then says she wants to be friends and get through this.
Lisa: “you lied.”
Heather: *walks away frustrated*
This ‘choir’ sounds terrible. But it get it, it’s the first day. Do these random people really think this is for real?
Angie and Jen discuss this stupid Insta thing. Angie agrees to have Chris to apologize. I think. I tuned it out sort of.
Heather and Lisa continue about the other ‘lies’ which is of course is that Lisa giving dudes sexual favors.
No one gets why Heather is the one on the chopping block for this right now, why Whitney is mad at Heather for NOT corrobing or even recalling the convo with Angie when the gossip was shared.
Thought Whitney even agreed to let this go at the ski lodge when she decided she’s more pissed at her for not supporting her through her newfound fake childhood abuse trauma drama.
And also that’s when she said she wasn’t ready to be back to normal again. There’s that.
Yet she’s mad at Heather for backing off, and that she feels like she’s ‘chasing after her.’
So since we’re again revisiting this, we may as well go full throttle, and Lisa calls Whitney over to join this senseless discussion. Whatever, I don’t need my brain cells anyway.
Heather tells her she thought she “recanted that” which she did. At the ski lodge, she accepted the fact that Heather didn’t remember Angie sharing this story. And it doesn’t really matter anyway. This is actually what she said:
“if you don’t remember, then I don’t need you to corroborate. that’s fair, so we need to agree to disagree.”
But today we’re all pissed off about it again, and she claims she didn’t say she was ready to let it go.
‘Agree to disagree’ and admitting it’s not that important anyway, pretty much demonstrates you’re recanting, or letting it go.
And we’re not mad at Angie for being the sharer of the story – why? She’s also claiming ‘not remembering.’
Does Lisa really want to keep the story going by talking about it every time there’s a camera around? Wouldn’t you think Lisa would just want this dropped?
Why are they mad at Heather for NOT recalling the gossip, and NOT repeating it? What would she have to gain by saying she doesn’t remember? She’s not denying it was said. She wasn’t the one even saying it.
She never repeated it to anyone, so it seems to be true in that regard. She never brought it up to Whitney after that, until Whitney did, so that would corroborate that she possibly DOES NOT remember. And Whitney admitted Heather was drunk. Yet this is STILL a problem.
Whitney: (I’m paraphrasing but something like) – “you’re clearly conveniently not remembering or you’re not remembering, or not remembering that you’re not remembering.”
Okay that sums it up. Crystal clear now. I WAS confused but thanks for that clarification Whitney.
So I’m needing really to break this down and have it all in front of me, like a 5th grade story porblem, minus the math. This shit is so bizarre.
SoLisa is mad at Heather for “being in on” ( I guess that’s her beef- this is all so confusing) this gossipy story told by Angie, about her messing around with other dudes, when even IF she was in on it, she was just an innocent bystander to a story being told TO her and Whitney. So how would that be her fault?
If she doesn’t recall it, it means it went in one ear and out the other, and therefore she never repeated it. Or was too intoxicated to listen and recall, and also still never repeated it. Whitney then shares it with Heather in a very gossipy way. Someone please explain this to me. Am I having a blonde moment??
Lisa’s not really mad at Angie for telling the story, nor is she mad at Whitney for discussing it with Meredith, and telling/reminding Heather. In fact Whitney has become her new BFF over this. But she’s mad at Heather for not remembering it being told to her.
Whitney is also ‘mad’ at Heather for supposedly hearing this story about her new bestie Lisa, and not recalling it, thereby never repeating it.
Does anyone else feel like this is a set-up this season to take down Heather. Does anyone else feel like their intelligence is getting insulted by sitting and listening to this week after week? I know this is Housewives, it’s supposed to be mindless entertainment, but this is kind of pushing it.
Whitney is committed to this fake friendship with Lisa and the fake fight with Heather. No matter how stupid she sounds.
Do we wonder why Heather keeps walking away from this shit??
So I was basically right about the choir picks. This looks like the same amount of people that were waiting to audition. Actually more. No one got turned away. It’s not real anyway.
I’m confused about Utah winters. Why are they in an outdoor pool right now? Jen and the other Angie call Meredith to invite her to San Diego while lounging in a pool with drinks in a pineapple.
Lisa always says “look who I’m wiiiiith…” and she always says it the same exact way. Meredith sounded exactly like her.
So ‘who she’s with’ is Danna. And Jen is bitching at her since she called her a bully over her behavior at the choir audition.
Jen proceeds to scream and have a tantrum, like any bully would.
Well San Diego looks like fun.
