So Gizelle and Karen seem to be all chummy. Love when two rivals suddenly become besties when a new season starts. Wonder if they’ll keep it up. That’s a silly question. And even if the do manage to keep it up through filming, there always seems to be a WWHL or social media feud that happens before the reunions start getting filmed, then suddenly they hate each other again.
Little springy picnic in our Capitol with the ladies, and the subject is already Ashley and Michael. I have so many opinions about this, as you can probably imagine. Timing is so coincidental too, that she supposedly leaves him, and announces it right when filming begins. It makes sense. She has her 2nd kid to him. She couldn’t do it last season since she had just given birth. It was either now or wait it out another year, and why do that. It’s already been eight she’s dealt with all of many issues, and she has the two child support checks. Also explains why she had them one year apart. Like, tick tock, let’s get the show on the road. The ‘show’ being cleaning him out and having a set up for life.
Ashley arrives, and you know she can’t wait to get asked about the deets. Karen is bragging again that she’s 17 years younger than Ray, and taking credit for “keeping him going.” These large gap marriages make me laugh sometimes. Why do women feel the need to keep pointing it out? And Karen you’re pushing 60, it’s not like you’re a spring fucking chicken. You and Ray are now getting into the area where you’re actually the same age range, so just stop.
Apparently Mia posted on Twitter some confusing info as to whether or not she has cancer.
Clearly she did want some attention and pity. That’s the very reason people post about health problems, or post anything on social media.
I agree with Robyn, you should not put cancer out there unless you’re sure about it. It’s an insult to people that do actually have it. Did she not watch OC in the Brooks and Vickie period? I think what started his lies and deception, was possibly a ‘scare’ that he had, perhaps got tested for cancer, which turned out to not be the case. He liked all of the attention he was getting I guess when he said he ‘might’ have it.
Ashley can’t wait to get to her dumping of Michael saga. “How did you get this place after just having a baby?” Karen asks her. Right last year things seemed picture perfect, right? When I first heard the news earlier this year I just assumed he had been caught again with another woman, or coming onto a dude. You know something Michael-ish. But doesn’t seem to be the case.
She says “I don’t drink” in response to Karen. Odd that would be the first thing out of her mouth, and I find that hard to believe, unless she’s still breast feeding. Which I doubt when he’s a year old. Also she was drinking her beloved ‘Corona Light’ when she was on WWHL this past Sunday. So apparently now she DOES drink.
Is she insinuating she has to be buzzing or drunked up, to be with him, have sex with them? Because that’s kind of what it sounded like, if that was her immediate answer.
Gizelle also thinks that’s a weird response. “You’re moving in different directions because now you don’t drink?”
Ashley answers that’s one example. I’m sure there’s more to it, but that’s the first thing out of her mouth. So apparently being sober 24/7 is a problem. I can sure see that. I mean, come on. Can you imagine being with a dude for eight fucking years, purely for your big payday. And having to have sex with that creep? This also explains she was always making excuses for him and not getting too upset about his infidelities and odd comments about dudes, and grabbing the camera dude’s ass. She as just biding her time, until she talked him into having two kids.
I would not have sex with that man one fucking time for one million dollars, let alone stay with him and pretend for eight fucking years. But that’s me. Other women are better at lying and pretending. I just can’t pretend I’m attracted to someone I’m not.
Girlfriend was committed. She set her sights on her plan and damned if she didn’t execute the shit out of it. Her and trashy her mom are gonna be living the good life. Taking bets on the fact that she’ll have her mom moving in with her as her ‘nanny.’ Those two ho’s will be living the dream.
Reason #2 – “we’re not as sexually compatible anymore.” Karen accidentally makes a disgusted face, without probably even realizing it. Does she seriously not know people are grossed out at the thought of her having sex with Michael? It’s like picturing your parents getting it on. She tells a story about being in Miami and Michael wanted to have a threesome with a random chick in a bar, and she didn’t want to.
Again, suddenly after the second child support check makes his way out of her uterus, she’s now ‘not sexually compatible.’ This girl.
Also don’t you love the looks on the other ladies’ faces when she starts bragging about their non-traditional sexual escapades. Also gross. It’s not my thing either, at all. But when you throw Michael into the mix, it’s just so skeevy and yucky to even discuss it. Like Ashley, no one wants to picture this shit. No one.
Next subject, and we’ll call this reason #3, real reason for the separation divorce “I really want a house.” Yes I am sure you do Ashley, and pretty sure not just any average old house will do. This girl is so easy to read, it’s ridiculous.
I was on FaceBook chat group yesterday talking about her situation and things she was saying, and some people actually are saying “I don’t think Ashley married him for money.” Oh please!! It’s not hard to read between the lines here. Not to mention, she can’t wipe the fucking smile off of her face. Normal women with a baby and a toddler, divorcing their husband don’t walk around with an ear to ear grin, unless he’s fucking loaded, and planned this shit all along. Come ON.
She goes on to explain her budget if purchasing a home would be minscule, and Michael, well he can afford whatever her heart desires. (supposedly – we’ll see. I wouldn’t even be surprised if his finances were a Tom Girardi type situation, in the way where he doesn’t have nearly what she thinks. Maybe not, but we’ll soon find out.)
Why doesn’t she just say he’s buying her a house instead of eluding that they’re “buying it together.”
Because she doesn’t understand what the hell is even going on. Not sure why playing dumb is looked at as cute nowadays. She’s purposely trying to keep this whole thing more interesting than it really is, and it’s not. It’s beyond basic and typical.
Once upon a time, young broke ass girl meets and marries loaded old dude that she pretends to love and be attracted to. Broke ass girl talks old loaded dude into having kids with her.
Young broke ass girl divorces him, and walks away with huge ‘settlement’ and a paycheck for at least 18 years. She could have at least stuck it out for another couple years and not made it completely obvious. Her younger son is only like a year old at this point.
She starts on this ‘LLC’ language, which you can tell she loves saying, and most likely has no fucking clue what the hell it even is. She’s so loving just talking about it. Next week I’m going to suggest a drinking game every time she says ‘LLC.’ I wish one of the ladies would ask her what it stands for, or what it even means.
First thing that came to my mind, when I hear ‘LLC’ involving a real estate transaction, is investment properties, or flips. People that tend to buy a lot of investment properties, and rent them out, tend to start an ‘LLC’ for protective purposes with tenants. It’s making me think he’s going to buy this house as an ‘investment property’ and Ashley will essentially be ‘the tenant.’ I feel like there’s some kind of work around that he’s trying to do. Here is a link if you wanted to take a look, and decide for yourself what the advantage might be.
https://www.realtor.com/advice/buy/benefits-buying-home-with-llc/
They argue with her that she’s not sounding like she’s divorcing him if “they’re buying a house together.”
If they already had a house she would be taking it. But since they live in a condo currently that she hates, and isn’t ideal for two little ones, she wats a 2 mill house in the burbs. This is why she married this lying creepy old geezer. Then as if we need more of a reason to prove it was always all about the coin with her, “isn’t divorce just the financial aspect of it?”
This chick is too dumb to even try to pretend or play off her gold digging tactics.
Ashley claims in her yap, that her divorce, will be amicable, since he’s cooperating for now, and it has come from a culmination of events but could also become vengeful as it progresses.
Okay guys hint # 4, 5, 6,7 … Wait until the proceedings start, and he sees what the fuck she’s demanding. Huge house in a pricey area where there will be nothing that suits her under a million dollars, half his fortune, and 10 or 20g /month in child support. Yeah that will probably tick him off.
But dude was dumb enough to fall for all of this hook line and sinker. Not that I am any fan of that creep, but he should have used his head. Do you think for one second she would have given that dude a second glance if he was poor, or even just wasn’t loaded? If you do than you are pretty naive and gullible as to how the world works.
Karen is having some spring celebration party. First event of the season, we’ll see how this goes. These four seem to be all chummy, even Gizelle and Karen.
Kandiace, Mia and Wendy are not in attendance at this little powwow, or I’m sure it would have gone differently. Wendy, I predict, would have called Ashley out on the LLC, and asked her tough questions as to if she even knows what it means. I predict that will be happening at some point. Maybe she’ll at some point ask him, or look it up.
Candaice is freezing eggs/embryos. She says she has ‘toured’ with people who I never heard of.
She and Chris start arguing in front of this doctor at their consultation about his work schedule. Candiace wants him to have “a consistent schedule with same days off every week.”
Does she realize he’s in the restaurant business and not a 9-5-er. Does she want him working or does she want him not working? Because the ladies were pretty brutal, and ate him up last year when he was just teaching cooking classes, and being her bitch. Now he is a manager at some hotel/restaurant.
The doctor is looking at them like what the fuck?? Could we not discuss your petty disagreements on MY time??
Even she doesn’t get paid enough to have to sit and listen to spoiled Candaice piss and moan about everything under the sun that doesn’t suit her.
What’s with the dead flowers in the background? Seriously. And the insistence of sticking with the mouth diaper still?
“I have two days off per week”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t.” She can’t wait to get them out of there. She’s probs thinking
“I give this marriage one more year, they don’t need these damned embryos.”
She says in her yap she goes back and forth in her decision to have a baby. She’s 35, which I didn’t realize, so guess the proverbial clock is sort of ticking.
They continue to bicker in the car. Glad to see they’re getting along so well. She can’t let go of his schedule “not being consistent.” Girl why would you marry a chef, someone in the hospitality industry, if this was your expectation?
A lot of jobs aren’t necessarily 9 – 5. Doctors aren’t 9 -5. (isn’t daddy a doctor?)
Someone in sales isn’t necessarily 9 – 5. He tries to get her to comprehend this. She can’t.
He points out her industry isn’t a set schedule either. He tries to explain to her his job requires, that if there is an event his ending time could fluctuate. She’s acting like a spoiled brat. She keeps saying “he’s not consistent.” Sure these two should totally get on with having a baby!
Robyn meets with new Housewife Charisse, or is she a friend? She wants to know if she and Juan are still getting married. No date, no plans. No surprise. I’m really not sure she wants to marry him anymore. They weren’t really hitting it off last season either. I think I remember him being kind of a douche to her. And if they do decide to go through with it, do they need a big huge event? For their second time around? It seems like that’s what she’s using as an excuse, the headache of planning a wedding.
She wants to get a prenup since she is now the breadwinner. They talk about Ashley’s impeding divorce, and the home buying confusion. Why do these women not understand the ‘together’ thing is just because he’s paying for the fucking thing? And yes she is needing the attention with all of her ‘confusing’ stories.
I’m kind of surprised Mia is back. Thought she was definitely ‘out’ shortly after last season wrapped. I never really followed up on any updates, so clearly things changed.
They moved to Potomac area, and are renting a quite large home for 10g/month, as she wastes no time announcing, as well as the fact that they put “north of $65,000” into renos which is just plain idiotic, but she’s seems to see no problem bragging about it. (Karen’s is a rental too?) Guess they both have sketchy income and/or credit, if they would rather rent these huge homes, than buy. There is absolutely no other reason someone would rent a house this size for this much money per month.
Long gone are the “no doc” or ‘alternative’ mortgage loans. (where you paid a higher rate to not have to have anything verified, or could have horrible credit)
Anywh, she claims this was for the time being, to get the kids into a home. Whatever. We know these bitches like to brag. And the more they brag, the sketchier their situations usually are.
So her health situation is so dire that when her mom asks if she’s heard anything yet, she doesn’t even know what the fuck she’s talking about. When she realizes what she means, her tone suddenly changes to trying to sound somber, as she says “it’s a disease” using finger quotes. So is it or isn’t it? Finger quotes isn’t usually something you do when talking about a health issue.
She says they have to rule out that it’s not in her lungs. What’s not in her lungs? Her fake disease? Is this chick really going to fake or exaggerate a health issue?? Also the way she was telling her mom not to worry as if it’s no big deal, reminds me of the way Brooks acted on OC, when people offered him help or expressed concern. He would be all “don’t worry about it.”
She goes on to explain in her yap, that she has lumps inside her body that they “do not know where they came from, so she’s been going through testing for the past several months.”
SEVERAL months? So already red flag. They haven’t figured anything out in SEVERAL months. Like you could be dead by now? Or does she not know what ‘several’ means. We did learn last year she’s not very good at math when she was trying to brag how much younger she is than her husband. She tries to make a big deal out of two stitches form a biopsy to her mom. It’s been really scary she claims as she’s smiling. Okay this is a giant load of fucking bullshit.
Karen and Ray arrive. Karen got a booby tweek. She thinks Ray is concerned about “who else likes it.” Is this a housewarming party?? (for a rental) I missed what this occasion was? She tries to rationalize scaring everyone on SM that she has cancer, after her friend told her to?
Karen forewarns her that the ladies are already discussing the legitimacy of her illness or whatever is going on.
Remind me what was the actual finger quote disease?
Would NOT have missed Wendy if she had decided two seasons was enough for her. But she’s back. Already I’m seeing she has toned down her titties in your face look. Happy about that. Enough of Happy and Ness. We saw them. We get it.
Also her face looks more natural, she’s not wearing way too much makeup, and dressing like a teenager. Maybe she’s not competing with Eddie’s booty models anymore.
She meets with Atlanta famous or infamous – ex House Husband Peter Thomas, Cynthia’s ex. She wants to do a Nigerian-themed restaurant with him.
She’s all worried about announcing that he approached her about it, not vice versa. So does she want to open a library or a bar? Aren’t kids typically in school during 2pm – 4 pm, or on their way home from school? With the exception of June, July, August? Peter shuts that down anyway.
He tells her just to begin the endeavor if she’s in only 20%, he needs 300g up front. That does not shock me at all. What was she expecting? I predict this goes nowhere. Remember other housewives thinking they wanted to get into the bar/restaurant business? Heather on OC, Shannon on OC. They quickly realize how much work and expense is involved and change their mind. And no return for at least two years. Again, not surprising, and I don’t know much about the restaurant business.
What’s with his sunglasses? Is he stoned? She’s making notes in her little handy dandy notebook. Peter claims if the business is a success, the net profit is 8 mill per year. How many Nigerian people are there in this bougie area they want to put it in?
For someone so educated she comes off not very bright, a lot.
Ashley visits her mom and ‘Uncle Lump.’ Little Dean is really adorable. Dinner is some slop that looks gross in cardboard containers, but not judging. Right away, she talks about the big bougie house Michael is buying her under this ‘LLC’ that she can’t stop saying.
Is there a set amount she will be getting, they want to know? They’re all thinking cha-ching. They want a piece of the Michael Darby pie. Why is this huge table in the middle of the kitchen? It’s bugging me.
“Theoretically she is entitled to half of Michael’s assets” she brags in her yap, since she has exceeded the five year mark with this creepo. Producer asks how much that is, and she can’t keep the smile off of her face after she answers that “he does very well.” That’s what Erika thought too on Bev Hills. So, we’ll see about that. This whole ‘creating an LLC’ to buy her a mansion is already coming off that he’s hiding something. She’s so niave, she thinks it’s something impressive that she should be bragging about.
She hasn’t talked to a lawyer yet, and they’ve discussed sitting down and “writing a proposal.”
“Is his name going to be on the house?” her mom asks, and she rolls out the LLC rhetoric. Uncle and Mom are confused, as are most people. Michael would probably prefer her not announcing this 500 times, but he probably didn’t think to tell her that.
Gizelle’s house seems to be close to being finished. No, it’s not a typical lay out, since she ‘added on’ as the ladies love to point out and ridicule. But know what?? She owns it, and can do whatever the hell she wants with it. She’s not throwing 10g away per month in rent.
So a certain two should just back the hell off. Maybe they’re jelly. It’s gorge inside.
As are the twins, Angel and Adore, so not sure if I realized that’s their names. She always refers to them as “the twins.” They look all grown up and are wearing makeup.
Gizelle is choosing an outfit for the spring fling and decides on a springy colored jumpsuit.
That would have been my choice in what the girls ended up telling her was appropriate that she was holding up. She doesn’t know what ‘spring chic’ attire is? Wouldn’t you assume pastel, springy colors, florals, lace? I gotta tell these ladies everything! I’m tired of knowing everything!!
Definitely not the sparkly red dress she holds up first. One of them says “it’s giving church.” Not sure what church they go to but NOT giving church, maybe evening holiday party? Second option is red – also no. SPRING. Red is not a springy color.
What does she not get about spring colors? This isn’t hard. Third is floralish and cute. We have a winner. I know people are all are on the ‘Gizelle has fashion issues’ bandwagon, but I don’t think she’s THAT bad.
Time for Karen’s event. Gizelle and Karen think Ashley’s separation is just to get him to buy a house in the burbs since he’d rather stick with his apartment style city living. Since he’s such a cool hip guy and all.
Ashley arrives in a quite inappropriate outfit for the event, also it’s raining and chilly and she refuses to wear a jacket. She’s smiling as she says she finds a house, in Arlington, and they made an offer and using the LLC. If this were a drinking game I’d be on the floor.
Now she back peddles on if she’s getting a divorce or if they’re just ‘separated’ as they play several flashes of her saying “I’m getting a divorce.” Gizelle says “Nobody buys a house with someone they’re divorcing”
That’s because she’s not the one buying it, he is. Guys this isn’t complicated. Gizelle accuses her of lying to her. It’s more like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. All she know is that she wants a big huge free fucking house in a bougie neighborhood.
She assures Gizelle that she’s not lying, and is wondering if she’s doing the right thing. Then she grosses out her friends and the audience by saying she woke up this morning and had a “coochy craving for Michael.” (eeuuuww)
She was just on WWHL Sunday night and said she’s still living IN the apartment with Michael at this point, in October? So what is going on? How is that ‘separated?’ Andy is asking if they’re you know, and she adamantly tells him no, which I do not believe. And if she put an offer in on a house in March, as she said on this episode, how is she not living in it, in October? Maybe it didn’t get accepted.
Ashley is freezing cold but commits to NOT covering up this slutty outfit she is wearing.
Candiace arrives in red, also not springy. Chris seems to have understood the assignment, wearing a pink coat and vest ensemble. “I don’t hate” as one of the twins said.
I might have to call Gizelle ‘best dressed’ at this event guys. It’s weather appropriate, age appropriate, spring fling appropriate. Second is Chris.
Candaice is excited about the “alleged” divorce.
Ashley says she’s “not drinking but a tequila shot would warm her up so much.”
Do you know what else would warm you up? The coat that you brought with you! She cold have done a little denim jacket or cute cropped sweater over this skimpy shimmery ensemble that would have toned down the tackiness of it, and made it more appropriate for the event, and weather.
No one is allowed to pick on Gizelle’s choices after seeing this shit show.
Wendy approaches Gizelle to say hi and Gizelle tells her to fuck off and not to touch her, so the Wendy vs Gizelle feud continues.
Mia arrives. Gizelle immediately says “is this cancer or no cancer?”
Robyn arrives and is NOT spring flingy, in a black and white hounds tooth pantsuit.
Gizelle tells Mia that her posts have come off as attention seeking. They were of course. She tries to drag Karen in on this by telling “Karen said they were weird.” She’s being extra messy right now, because she knows they’re friends.
Mia claims she was merely “using the platform because she was hurting” when she received a call, “looks like you have lymphoma.”
Mia says “fuck you if you think I was doing that for attention.” But isn’t that the case anytime you post anything on social media?
Isn’t it always for attention?
