Real Housewives of Potomac 2/4/24

Tag lines complaint again – Ashley’s is some joke about being a gold digger. Yes Ashley, you are a gold digger.

Karen’s, I think I might have already complained about. It’s about someone riding her. Don’t these ladies have the option to decline, and request a new one, that makes fucking sense, in the interest of not sounding like a fucking jackass

Crystal’s from Beverly Hills is still the best, referring to herself stupid, because they have her convinced she’s some kind of spring chicken. Maybe they’re doing this on purpose? We do know the producers can be kind of sketchy. Who the hell do they have coming up with these? Please fire them, or demote them back to the coffee runner.

Gizelle’s rockin’ or trying to rock, these itty bitty teeny weeny mini bodycon dresses this season. Is she raiding her daughter’s closets or what?

Gizelle and Ashley shop for fabric, making it seem as if they are more involved in the design of this ‘line’ than I believe them to be.

Gag – why do they have to keep discussing coochy and crack sweat? Is this where we ‘re at with these shows?? If this is what we have to resort to talking about, them maybe we have to say good-bye to the Potomac ladies, and move on.

Can you please describe the coochy sweat?

Okay other than coochy sweat, the big important topic of convo is that Wendy has extended the invite to Nneka for Eddie’s weed thing. Not to her husband though. Happy Eddie, also Pussy Eddie, is afraid of Ike. Why is Eddie so afraid of him?? Why is Eddie so afraid of Wendy ? Why is Eddie a fucking pussy? At least he’s not owned buy the ugly town whore.

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Nnkea is very into her champagne and/or sparkling wine, as we learned in the first episode. She has it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and has come out with her own line of affordable sparkling wines.

I think if I’m going to guzzle champagne in the am, it would at least have ato be in the form of a mimosa to make it seem like I’m not an alcoholic.

I start my day with bubbles and I end my day with bubbles.”

That sounds all well and good, but not practical.

So the very controversial and elusive 8th Housewife, Lebe, not even having to make one single appearance with the exception of that photo they keep flashing on, every time she’s brought up. Is there not another photo of her in existence?

She’s Ike’s cousin, Nneka’s friend, and Wendy’s sister’s ex-friend, twice removed

I literally don’t get the ‘anger’ at Nneka mentioning, aka ‘using’ Wendy’s name. And even if it was a clout chase, isn’t that flattering?? Sort of? With Wendy’s ego being off the charts, you would think she’d be digging the shit out of that.

Whatever. She’s having an ‘unpacking’ party to open her wedding gifts, still in the shipping boxes, from her wedding a year ago. Wendy has been invited to said party, and Nneka really thinks she’s coming since she didn’t RSVP her regrets. Has she met Wendy?

I don’t buy those two as pot smokers, I just don’t. They’re trying hard to sell themselves as cool and hip, and they’re not. I don’t know that Wendy could have a bigger stick up her asshole. I mean, she’s mad at someone for ‘mentioning her name.’

If I pretend that I smoke weed, can I sit at the cool lunch table?

And pussy-whipped Eddie?? No. Just no. Not cool. At all. A pussy-whipped man is not cool, as a rule.

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Chris is making an actualy appearance and will be attending the bro event, and will be having to weather the storm (of Ankles and Forehead) without Candiace, who has to leave for some acting part. They think they‘re going to be sitting around getting stoned at this party.

This seems like what all the Housewives are doing. Yawn. Do none of these people have an original ideas??

I don’t know that cankles Gizelle should be commenting on Chris’ weight.

They get a lesson on how to roll oregano joints, and there’s no lighting up, and it’s stupid.

You know when people start saying “marriage is hard” and things like that, it’s the preface to ‘we’re getting a divorce’ but just not ready to say it yet.

Happily married people don’t walk around saying ‘marriage is so hard.’ But then again look at the situation. Mia was/is a gold digger, a cheater, the money is gone, and now all of a sudden, ‘marriage is hard.’

Nneka tries to talk to Wendy and of course you can’t fucking talk to Wendy. Yes she called her mom a witch because she was acting like some kind of voodoo weirdo with her ‘praying against’ and ‘I have a shrine’ rhetoric in relation to Nneka having the utter audacity to say the words “I know Wendy.”

Can you imagine??

Wendy answers with a bunch of word fucking salad full of Wendyisms. She hangs onto this ‘bitch’ thing because that’s really all she has. And focusing on that keeps her from addressing the real issue, that lead to Nneka calling her a bitch

Wendy has to ‘process’ Nneka’s invitation, even though this is what she was whining about in her “steps have been skipped” diatribe.

Wendy ‘receives’ it, but she still has to process it. Okay girl. This doesn’t sound very ‘zen’ to me.

I know my mom wished death on you, but can I remind you that you called me a bitch??

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Anyway I think they agree to meet to have a chat.

Mia and Gordon have a ‘day date’ because OhmiGod they cannot pawwwsibly go out at night since they don’t EVEN have a nanny anymore.

How dreadful!

The way Mia talks about not having a nanny, does she realize only like 2% of the population that has kids have a fucking nanny?? Somehow Mia, women seem to figure out how to care for their own fucking kids. My God. Mia you’re HOME ALL DAY because you don’t have a job, but you’re still going to carry on about not being able to afford a nanny???

They discuss therapy, and how they would handle things in the event of a divorce.

I just don’t know if I can look past that I now don’t have a nanny.

We still don’t know what Gordon did to piss off the fam that they ousted him. Mia seems to be putting the blame 100% on him, even though she says she’s not.

We never even knew this was a family business, until the shit hit the fan after last season. She always referred to it as their business.

Long story short, his whatever-he-did actions caused her to not have a nanny, is what it all boils down to, and now she has to take care of her kids herself. Which she stops herself halfway through the word ‘nanny’ because I really think maybe she heard how that sounds.

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PJ unpacking party begins. Part-timer Charisse is in attendance. Karen still refuses to speak with her, and addresses her by saying “hi everyone.” All I know is that she has serious dirt on Karen, because she gets so rattled by her sheer presence, whereas Charisse does NOT seem bothered. Tells you who the guilty party is.

Nneka gets informed Wendy has no intention of attending. Who cares. Who wants to look at her constipated fucking face.

Mia and Karen address their issues, and Karen accuses her of having an affair with a rapper, and a married man. (two different dudes) Mia proudly exclaims that he’s not a rapper, and that she’s just hanging out with him, with Gordon of course. I don’t even wanna ask what’s going on there.

Ooooh that sounds kinky, spill the deets! I need in on that!

‘Cool Mia.’ As Karen would say.

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