“Releasing balloons into the atmosphere is illegal.”
Oh Karen. Karen Karen Karen. That name definitely suits you.
This woman is entertaining in a second-hand embarrassment kind of way, and for that reason she will always have a place on Bravo, as long as she can speak.
Mia’s funny. Girl you had no intention of getting on any flight back to anywhere to check on your kids.
IF this whole thing wasn’t made up. Mia is a pathological LIAR. I kind of think it was made up actually.
So supposedly Gordon had a tantrum that she left their kids with ‘the nanny’ aka Jacqueline’s sister, instead of allowing Gordon to spend time with them.
His point is probably valid but I don’t get picking them up and dropping them somewhere else. IF he even did that.
Jacqueline’s back to being Mia’s lackey I see. Was that last season ago, or the one before where first of all, they hated each other. Mia was treating her like fucking shit, and Jacqueline was over being Mia’s appointed agent. But NOW, I see it’s back to business as usual. I’m assuming she just wants her Bravo paycheck and Mia convinced her her to do this, regardless of how embarrassing it is.
So the kids ended up with the former nanny’s daughter’s mother’s twice removed second cousin. She doesn’t even ask to talk to them. Carry on Mia. Time and time again she makes herself look like a trashy parent. And she seems fine with that. Even worse if this was made up and she was willing to let herself look like trash.
Jacqueline and Mia’s knit outfits are cracking me up. Why would you wear fucking yarn in Panama? No wonder they’re covered in sweat. Do these garments look like Chanel or Shein?? That’s not a real question of course.
******
Shopping trip is on the agenda. Seems Gizzy girl forgot to get dressed. What is she wearing? Or not wearing?
Looks like she has a literal towel wrapped around her boobs. Come on girl, step it up. Then there’s Wendy who is completely overdressed. Ashley is dressed appropriately for the weather and occasion, so kudos to her. She doesn’t look like a ho for a change.
Karen in a very rehearsed-like way, asks Keiarna about this dude she’s shacking up with, who expects her to be his free housekeeper and chef.
I can’t even listen to her talk about this asswipe douchey piece of shit. He clearly is stuck in the stone ages, and just wants to order her around and make her his personal assistant.
The dude has a constant miserable scowl on his face every fucking time he’s on camera. He’s always either looking constipated, criticizing K, or complaining K needs to make him some food.
She sounds like a fucking ding dong giving him accolades when he talks to her like this. Pay attention when she talks about him.
She talks really fast and is extremely animated, in a very overcompensating type of way like she’s trying to convince herself he’s a good guy. Like just stop. I feel embarrassed for her. Woman, viewers have eyes and ears, just please stop. He’s clearly controlling and most likely abusive. The two go hand in hand.
Stop exerting so much energy trying to convince us you’re happy with this fucking twatty man-child. Please save that energy. Believe me, take it from me, you’re gonna be needing it.
Why am I so good at recognizing this behavior? Maybe because I lived it ? Twice??
Every time he addresses he her, he yaks about the fucking food she’s making him, or how he hates living with her. Like I’m mot even exaggerating. It’s so sad that she thinks this is a dude she wants to marry. He’s so sketchy. You can totally see it in his eyes.
I think I would have been a happier person NOT picturing 75 YO Ray going down to 61 YO Karen. Thanks Gizelle for bringin’ THAT up.
They recap and flash on scenes of Mia just being Mia, contradicting herself and making no sense whatsoever.
Ashley is very judgy in Mia’s seemingly not caring that much that her kids ended up in a random location thanks to Gordon.
I kind of feel like Ashley should just take a seat. She’s on the trashy parent spectrum as well. I mean the girl popped out these two babies to her lying cheating sugar daddy and promptly announced she wants a divorce. Just stop Ashley with the moral high ground thing.
You do have to hand it Karen for not drinking on camera following her DUI. And that’s all I’m handing to her when it comes to this topic. Her denial and dismissal of the seriousness of her behavior is epic.
Before the dude can even talk about the rum they’re being served, Mia throws hers back. I think she has a bit of an alcohol problem as well (as Karen.)
Oh let’s play a game!! We love those. The game is for them to imitate each other.
What could go wrong?
My favorite was Gizelle’s. “And. Ummmm. Yeah.” She handled it well. They all did but you could tell they were annoyed. Housewives in general, are not the crew that are able to make fun of themselves.
Again Keiarna with the Greg praising, talking sooooo fast, and sounding soooo full of fucking shit trying to tell herself he’s not a douchebag.
I don’t know why we have to beat this to death again about Mia and Jacqueline’s past bedroom and shower antics. We know they’re trashy. We do not care.
So Inc and Jacqueline never hooked up but there was foreplay in the shower that they all took together. Okay. Got it.
Housewives sure have evolved from back in the day. Remember vintage RHONY when Ramona walked off of the stage at the reunion because she was so put off by Alex talking about some nudies?
So I don’t really get how they had to change their clothes in the little rum bar they were at where they literally just ate, to go to dinner? But okay.
Trashy Mia makes a booty appointment loudly on speaker on the way to pick up her son.
She demands a cocktail as soon as they’re seated for dinner. So yeah. I think I’m on to something.
Keirana when asked, whines about the teeny tiny almost non-existent ‘scar’ on her forehead that has her so traumatized from the manufactured brawl with Deborah last season. She’s moving forward with a civil and criminal law suit.
Many thanks to Deborah’s good friend Ashley for putting her in this position.
She claims the police at the scene encouraged her to sue Deborah. Yeah okay.
Mia shares the story of Gordon kidnapping their kids that morning for those who may have missed it.
Wendy tries to tell her this is a serious issue and Mia is very nonchalant about it, and points out how whether or not they approve, this is her real life. But IS it??
She pretends to dab a tears. Please.
Ashley offers some word vomit, when again, she needs to sit this one out.
Jacqueline earns her check and follows her boss’s orders and chimes in about how distraught and innocent Mia is.
The ladies don’t take too kindly to this because frankly they’re just sick of it.
By the way wasn’t Mia judging Jacqueline last season when she didn’t know where HER kids were during a housewife trip?? I forget the whole story but they were with someone else other than who she thought they were with. Same thing.
Hmmm, I smell a copy cat story line here. Like, be a little more original Mia. And how hypocritical.
They flash on all of Mia’s contradictory tall tales about Gordon and their relationship, and his supposed mental illness.
Her blonde wig becomes the subject of discussion in a very abrupt turn in the convo.
I hate to say it, I actually like this blonde wig on her for some reason.
She’s so weird.
