So now it’s spa time at the campground. This is definitely not glamping. I would not be that excited to do this ‘spa.’ That’s probably why they don’t look that excited either.
What the fuck is wrong with Emily?? Is she losing brain cells not lawyering anymore and having ‘Real Housewife’ as her job??
This woman introduces herself as a ‘perfumer’ and asks what their favorites scents are. Pretty sure she was looking for roses, vanilla, honeysuckle… you now NORMAL fucking perfume scents.
Can someone check on her please? Her answer was “tacos.” And she’s 100% serious. The woman looks at her like she’s retarded but just goes with it.
Once a big girl, always a big girl. Did she miss the ‘perfume’ part?? Or is she serious??
Gina looks at her in horror and disbelief.
I kept waiting for someone to point out to her it’s supposed to be something perfumey but no one does.
“They’re very meaty and juicy and like the perfect snack” when perfume lady asks why that’s her favorite scent.
I have second-hand embarrassment for this woman right now. Yikes. No wonder she’s back to Michelin Man arms. Not to be rude. My mom didn’t put me on the bus.
After that she was like ewwwwkay then, afraid to ask the others what their favorite PERFUME scent is. She’s probably afraid now.
She’s an attorney and so much smarter than everyone else. Just reminding you, she screamed at Jenn across the table while having dinner that she’s STUPID.
Maybe she understood and DOES want to smell like a taco?
I guess they must’ve cut the scene where she realized it was not supposed to be a fucking greasy food smell and felt like an idiot.
The scents hurt her throat she says. I mean sorry Emily perfume lady didn’t have some fucking Taco Bell slop to shove up your schnauze.
That whole scene made the episode for me.
That and that lady with the organization convincing these ladies they are credited with reversing a ‘law’ to enable people to say gay in Florida. It’s a toss-up as to which was more entertaining because it makes these bitches look like dumb asses.
OmiGod not the ‘spiritual extraction’ from last season. That almost felt like a ‘jumped the shark’ moment.
Gina brings up that she got a new dog and the throwing out of poor pathetic broke Trav out of her house situation.
She says it’s hard for Sienna especially, but can you blame her? They flash on a scene of Gina telling her kids they have to spend the night with Travis, and her son says he wants to go home and Sienna looking confused and sad.
If you think about it, they’re not only getting shuffled around between Gina’s and Travis’ but also with their dad. They’re literally running in circles staying in three different residences.
If you want to put a positive spin on it, these kids are living like the DuBrows!! And who doesn’t want to live like the DuBrows??
Shannon takes a call from her attorney. She offered half of the 75 and Jackass and Jackass Jr are not accepting it.
Has her attorney had her present these receipts she has for various trips and outings that she paid for? She said one of them alone was 10k. So I would think that combined with one or two other trips or even weekend type getaways she paid for should slice this in half? Wouldn’t you think??
That would prove her point that when he offered to pay for her cosmetic surgery and the other 30k he just sent her, she assumed he was acknowledging her picking up the tab for the past two years, and repaying her.
This doesn’t seem like rocket science to me. It’s a little more of a thought process than a perfume guru asking you what your favorite scent is, but sill not that complex.
John is such a diabolical sociopathic piece of SHIT!! Just to put it all in perspective for you all:
He was an abusive partner, constantly putting her down, calling her names, undermining her confidence and doing that ‘silent treatment/ghosting’ thing which is actually a form of abuse, if you’ve ever read about narcissistic abuse.
My ex used to do that to me all of the time. Which I thought was kind of comical because I didn’t really care that he was ‘ignoring me.’ I was pretty much like “yippy! I can breathe! I can relax! I can clean my house!” (that’s pretty bad when you’d rather fucking clean than interact or spend time with your partner… probably a sign you’re in an abusive relationship) I used to feel so bad for him because he really thought I was going to chase after him when he did that shit.
Poor angry little man. He needs meds in the worst way.
Sorry – back to this.
Shannon cries that “it’s the principal” that’s why she doesn’t want to pay the whole thing.
Well that and does she really have 75k just sitting around doing nothing? Maybe, but probably not. Three kids in college, an astronomical rent payment, her food thing not doing that well, probably not getting child support anymore.
Yes there’s Bravo and she may still be getting spousal from David. But 75k is still a lot of fucking money.
Gina’s the one that has to point that out. Emily Taco Bell- living off-her wealthy-in-laws Simpson is like “ahhhh just write the check!”
Again Gina and her very profound and astute statements in her yap. “If you’re so happy in your relationship why not just take the check and go live your life?”
Emily doubles down on the ‘write a check’ thing. Hey Taco Bell why don’t YOU write a check if you’re that concerned??
Katie fully supports the write the check thing too who obviously married well the second time around, so she has no no concept of money, even if she came from meager beginnings.
“This just feels wrong” says Gina. Oh ya think??
******
Heather brags about how fucking wonderful she is for including Katie on this trip, “in the spirit of inclusivity.”
So big of you Heather. You got called out on something stupid that you actually did, so you know, let’s dial it back a hair please.
Alexis tries to say when asked, that she is encouraging ‘Johnny’ to just settle for the lesser amount and he’s like “NO are you kidding, everything I’ve gone through.”
And you know SHE gets it, Alexis says. Yeah she’s gonna be getting it very soon when the mask comes off, as to why Shannon was acting crazy.
“She has smeared his name and ruined his rep throughout the community,” Alexis cries in her yap.
Okay yeah by telling the truth!! Most women who are not being abused and treated crappy don’t claim to be.
Alexis loves her ‘gloves are off’ expression. It honestly doesn’t even suit in the context she’s using it in. Shannon is not trying to fight with him and he’s the one that started this shit instead of just letting her try to move on.
This man clearly, not a shocker, cannot take accountability for his behavior.
In the spa convo Gina accidentally on purposely slips about ‘the video thing.’
Now Shannon’s really in a tizzy.
Gina the voice of reason, suggests she tells her lawyer that they’re trying to extort her. I mean obviously. If she’s not, then I’m going to assume none of this is even authentic.
Shannon calls her attorney and tells him she’ll pay whatever he wants. What the hell was she doing on these ‘videos?’ That seemed to do the trick.
Emily and Katie do the hot tubs which are literally two very hot tubs of water.
They decide to assign Emily to pull Alexis to the side and attempt to advise her to drop her vengeful spiteful vendetta to extort money from Shannon.
This is really how Alexis wanted to make her debut back to the OC??
“This is dirty, it’s salicious, it’s gross” Is she talking about these hot ‘tubs?’
Tamra calls her daughter who doesn’t seem excited to talk to her.
Shannon drops in on Heather and fills her in on all of the latest extortion excitement.
Why is Heather being so nice and considerate? It’s making me really nervous. She’s not even ridiculing her at all or verbally judging her in her yaps.
WHAT is happening? She even looks genuine and concerned. She tells her Jackass turned down the half offer, then she offered the rest after learning about the videos.
I’m confused exactly what does this nit wit want? Does he want the fucking money or does he want her to “clear his name?”
Shannon is perplexed as she should be, because she did pay for everything, and if it makes him look bad, tough titties. I paraphrased. Maybe he should’ve thought twice before he left her pick up the tab constantly.
Did he say thank you? Was it ever even a discussion as to why this was happening because it’s really not the norm. Whatever. He’s such a twat.
She goes into some deets of the DUI night, which debunks what I had read as to why she was shitfaced driving to John’s late at night, since she did have her phone with her.
I had read that she was out, Ubered home, realized she left her phone in the Uber car, and that’s why she drove to John’s, to use his phone to contact them.
Perhaps she was there long enough to contact the driver and they brought it back.
She doesn’t bring any of this up.
The point she is making to Heather is that the accident happened like three seconds from his house and he had to have heard it.
He never came out to check and she even sent a photo of her bloody face, which he ignored, and he never responded until a few hours later asking what’s going on when the cops brought Archie to him. Then he texted her playing dumb.
I have no more words.
