Picking right up with Tamra trying to exploit her good friend, that she loves and misses. Shannon’s rocky relationship is her Housewife activity.
Nice Tamra. So much integrity.
Shannon, with the producers, begs this to not go any further because John is supposedly ‘private’ and this will “ruin their relationship.”
Shannon shares in her yap that she confided in Heather about an argument that they had.
Tamra pretends to be sorry for bringing this up for TV purposes. Just like she’s been pretending to be sorry for talking on New Jenn for entertainment and paycheck purposes.
Tamra outing Heather for blabbing this gossip with Gemily is funny because she is too!
“People that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.” Meaning if your relationship (in this case) isn’t perfect, stop judging others’ relationships. And we do know that Terry and Heather’s relationship is far from perfect, as she portrays. Which I always did have a hunch about, even before last year’s dirt surfaced.
Usually when a couple goes to great lengths to tell everyone how perf and awesome their marriage is, it’s not.
Anyway, they struggle through how the glass houses expression is worded. Why are these ladies, even the slightly intelligent ones, (I would put Vickie and Shannon in that category – Tamra not so much) so fucking bad at expressions?
Even really easy common ones, like that one.
“How about if we stop talking about people’s relationships and whoop it the fuck up.”
Yes. Stop. Fuck. Who cares, especially given what we now know. Discussing their problems seems like such a moot point since he dumped her the second the cameras shut off. You can tell in their scenes that he’s so not into this, not sure how she was so blindsided, as she claimed. Shannon still looks pissed, and wanting to cry, but is trying not to.
*****
Pumpkin patch family outing with Shane and Emily where she makes way too big of a deal about an activity with ‘both parents.’
Bitch is going hard this season with dissing her mom, and how horrible her childhood was. “Shane grew up in a solid environment with a mom and a dad…” Wow, girl. Wtf. They have a spat about Shane correcting her comment to one of the boys, when he mentions something stupid a kid at school said to him. Shane ends up looking stupid, when he accuses her of making the kid ‘confused and scared’ and the kid says “I’m not scared.” Think maybe Shane was the one that was scared. I don’t get why she made a huge arguing fucking event out of this.
He made an ass out of himself for interrupting, when she was right. She claims he made her look like a jackass. Was I just witnessing the same conversation that she’s referring to? HE looked like a jackass.
They continue to mildly bicker on the tractor, as Emily micromanages where the kids sit and how they interact with each other.
She suddenly starts crying for whatever reason. Maybe she realizes how bad this little skimpy tennis skirt onesie looks on her, and is inappropriate for a family outing?? So glad that’s over.
******
Tamra and Jenn meet up for frozen yogurt, and Tamra again ‘apologizes’ for being a terrible awful back stabbing friend. Tamra is ON IT with the fake apologies. I guess it’s easy for some to fake apologize for shit. Jenn in her yap, how she’s “so confused, and there’s something I’m missing.”
She really doesn’t know what’s going on here? Who wants to tell her? Tamra fake cries. Now she blames the gym closing, (that’s the old standby) and Eddie’s grandmother not being well.
Last time she made excuses for being nasty to Jenn, it was the gym and the dog. I highly doubt she is one bit concerned about Eddie’s fucking 90 year-old grandmother. Imagine using a dying elderly woman as an excuse for acting like a fucking little cunt for money. How do these bitches sleep at night? Eddie probably watched that and was too afraid to tell her, that was stooping pretty low, even for her.
Jenn looks like she has HAD it with her lame ass fucking excuses. She’s probably thinking exactly what I’m saying.
Tamra claims she wants to talk to Ryan, and smooth out this “I’m going to fuck her” alleged comment. Which, by the way, who is in agreement with me that she LOVES to say this. I mean, I think it turns her on to say it. I believe there is a sliver of her, or more, that IS attracted to Ryan, and is actually intrigued and aroused by that heartwarming sentiment. By the sounds of it, Eddie’s not taking care of business. Maybe he’s too upset over his grandmother.
So she invites Jenn and Ryan on a boat outing with Shannon and John.
Now, leaving no stone unturned, she also throws the tequila in, as part of the blame for her bad Bravo acting. Who and what else do we wanna add to this long diatribe of excuses for her desperate behavior, in order to continue to be a Housewife for the next fifty years?
******
I can’t deal with this Heather scene. She can’t believe how’ normal and laid back’ Mark Cuban (Shark Tank – that’s where I recognize him from) is when he’s a billionaire. Heather take fucking notes on how to be humble and NOT treat people like shit that you deem beneath you. You married well. End of story. Money talks, wealth whispers.
She’s partnered with him on some streaming app, like a Tiktok type thing I guess? ‘Fireside.’ Except you create shows, not just videos, I don’t fucking know. Sounds stupid. This is her avenue back into acting, so she thinks. Whatever Heather. If I see this woman acting in ANY successful (operative word being successful) movie or series, I will be flabbergasted.
She brags in her yap, how she “looks fabulous” in her yap. Conceited much??
This woman is insufferable. These two seem confident in her ‘skills.’ It’s coming off as blowing smoke up her ass, if you ask me.
******
Gina and New Jenn meet up and Gina talks about her embarkment into Real Estate, She tries hard to sound like she knows what she’s talking about.
What kind of credabilty do we think she will have with bougee people in the market to purchase mult-million dollar homes with that Ginaccent??
Within the next two months, she should “have her licenssssssssssse.” Voice trails off at the end. I just can’t picture Gina ‘hustling.’ Sorry. I don’t mean to be such a Debbie Downer about these ladies, and their success in their endeavors, but I’m very skeptical.
Jenn shares with Gina the upcoming outing with Shannon, John, Tamra and Eddie, and how, of course it will be umcomfy and awkward. Gina shit talks Shannon and John. Shannon is the fucking show again, without even trying, but not in a good way.
Gina judging someone else’s relationship is fucking rich, when like two months prior to cameras rolling, she literally pushed Travis down the steps in a drunken rage, in front of his kids, resulting in a custody issue with his ex.
But we’re not talking about THAT, we’re talking about Shannon’s drunken arguments with John. I’m sorry I must have missed where Shannon pushed John down the fucking stairs in front of his kids.
“It’s easier for people to talk about everyone else so they don’t have to talk about themselves.” Fucking cheers to that! Practice what we preach, Gina! At least they didn’t try to struggle through the glass houses reference. Gina never would have figured that one out.
******
Heather – “we’re in escrow for the place in LA” (later she admits to Terry she doesn’t even know what that means.) Of course they want to unload this stupid hotel that they spent four years building, and customizing the shit out of. The whole thing was just ridiculous in the first place. However she claims in this scene, that she’s not selling the hotel.
She claims this condo is a ‘get away’ type of residence, and represents getting her foot back in the Hollywood door. Sounds like total bullshit.
Tamra plays a childish cringe-worthy game with Heather to see if she admits to blabbing about Shannon.
They think it’s so hilarious to keep asking them if they’re living together, or if they’re thinking about it, but it comes off as petty mean girl mind games. Heather of course sees through what Tamra is up to, and only has positive things to say. Tamra thinking she was going to outsmart Heather is kind of a joke. She’s a little over confident in her sly, deceptive, and intelligence skills.
Heather thinks harassing Shannon about John not living with her, is so funny, and chokes on her water, then brags “Terry did that to them too.” These bitches are so fucking heartless, and by bitches, I definitely am including Terry.
Maybe they should all have a pow wow about Terry’s little side chick, or dude. Now THAT’S a lot more fucking entertaining, and choke worthy than John and Shannon having arguments, or not living together. Can you imagine what a different show (and A LOT more entertaining) this would be, if we were discussing Terry cheating, and Gina pushing Travis??
Tamra needs to take a seat too. Clearly all isn’t great with her and Eddie, if he has no interest in banging her. I mean, he does buy her shoes constantly, and did make a sucking dick joke at dinner, about himself. I mean, looking more and more to me, that Vickie was right.
******
Emily and Shane have date night. She seems to be ordering champs constantly everywhere she goes.
Also why do these women always order steak?? Seriously, they live by the goddamned ocean, why wouldn’t you order seafood? So much better for you too. I’m not against steak totally, it’s just not something that I would order out, every single time. It’s easy to make that at home. Whatever.
They try to speak Spanish to the server. Emily is in a big fucking hurry to order her dinner. Shane requests fries. I guess the server didn’t ask, “would you like fries with that?”
She tries to make it a big fucking deal about the pumpkin patch thing.
She’s being so dramatic. Shane sort of chuckles when she brings it up, because he knows it was stupid, and she needs something to talk about. I am glad they’re getting on better, and Shane is not being a total douche, I will say that. But this discussion is clearly staged and stupid. She boo-hoos about her childhood AGAIN. I see this is her pathetic ‘story line’ this season. So now we not only throw our so-called friends under the bus, for Bravo cash, we even destroy our mother. NO ONE is off limits! Nice, Emily. Classy. Seems like Shane is sick of hearing it too. He apologizes. But she goes on. Shut up Emily. How’s your charity work going??
******
Gina and Travis, who honestly remind me of a teenage couple, (not in a good way) role play play realtor and client. She doesn’t know the sales price of the house. That’s not important. She seriously reminds me of a kid playing house. Gina declares how her role in this ‘team’ thing they think they’re doing, is going to be, showing houses and looking cute. Neither of which I foresee her doing well.
“I put cookies in the ovennnnnnnnn.” (for a ‘homey’ effect)
She tells him how she met with a realtor to get some tips of the trade on showing homes. I’m sure she was zoning out about her outfit plan when he told her the sales price.
She refers to the stairs as ‘white risers’ as she’s pretending to ‘show’ the house. My God. This is painful. What the fuck is a white riser?? Banisters?? She is coming off as a child pretending to be a realtor. Does she know how immature she comes off? It would be fine if she was in her twenties, but she’s not.
******
The boating event with these three very dysfunctional couples is getting underway. Shannon has not shared anything with John about Heather’s blabbing about their problems. Tamra is clearly anxious (also excited) to see Ryan, for Eddie to ask about the you-know-what comment. Shannon is wearing tight white skinny jeans again.
Tamra wastes NO fucking time telling John the story.
You would think Eddie would be noticing how much she likes repeating it, and would be starting to get annoyed, but he has zero reaction. Sometimes I think he’s such a wimp, or does he just not care Tamra is into this dude? He’s a nice guy, and I’m happy she’s with someone that treats her well, but does he have to be such a pussy, and not call her out when she needs to be called out.? It’s so inappropriate. I literally ran this whole scenario by my boyfriend, if I was constantly repeating this story to everyone willing to listen, what he would do, and he said, I would break up with you, and assume you were into this guy. I don’t even think you would have to be the overly jealous type for this to be a deal breaker. If this isn’t at least bothering Eddie, then it leads me to believe he doesn’t love her and is not attracted to her. So again, she needs to shut it about Shannon and John, and Jenn and Ryan.
If she’s trying to make Eddie jealous, so HE wants to fuck her, I don’t think it’s working. He kind of looks proud as she’s telling John. So weird.
Extremely tense and awkward environment, when New Jenn and Ryan arrive, as they discuss each other’s attire. I don’t know what your takes on this comment are that Tamra can’t stop talking about, but I do think he said it. Otherwise he wouldn’t be this uncomfortable. Tamra whispers to Eddie – “he won’t even look at me.” She seems so disappointed. She makes fun of his jacket. She seems to be taking this extreme over compensating route to point out how much she can’t stand him, so you know what that means, in my book. She wants to make these two dudes fight over her. And why would an actual grown ass pushing sixty, adult sit and whisper in front of someone??
******
Terry and Heather are so fake. They discuss selling the house. “Here are the escrow papers.” Heather: “What does that mean?” Sales contract Heather, your offer was accepted. Someone who has bought and sold all of these houses should know this.
Of course it’s the Altmans’ of ‘Million Dollar Listing’ who are listing the house. Pretty sure that’s a future MDL episode, and I highly doubt they just randomly called Heather about selling her house.
She whines about all the work that’s entailed with owning this house. ‘Work’ as in hiring and dealing with employees doing the actual work, that she most likely treats like shit. If she treats restaurant staff like shit, in public, how is she speaking to people in own fucking house? Last season when she introduced their ‘personal chef’ to Shannon and Gina, while bragging up a storm about this place, he looked like he wanted to stab her.
Not to keep droning on about Eddie, and how odd he is coming off, he makes a strange comment – “save the sex action for tonight” when Jenn’s hair gets caught on something, and Ryan helps her. Dude, he was helping her with her hair (extensions.) It’s really coming off that Eddie and Tamra are a little obsessed with Jenn and Ryan, and their sex life. It’s fucking weird. I think Tamra and Eddie are both into Ryan, honestly.
More sexual inuendo from Eddie, “I can’t see that big thing going into my mouth” referring to the deviled eggs stack. (which is kind of reminding me of Noella’s ‘vagina stack’ last season. Do you guys remember that? I was deleting old pictures from my computer and came across those.)
Ryan complies with “honey show him how to do it.” Like seriously, what the literal fuck?? And Eddie, what straight dude says that?
They sort of break the ice, by having a chuckle, if that’s what you want to call it, by bringing up the dick pic. Jenn encourages Ryan to tell his side of it, and he declines. I think he just likes talking about his dick.
Shannon and John leave the table, so these four can haggle out who wants to fuck whom. Long story short, everyone now at the table, wants to fuck Ryan – Tamra, Jenn, and Eddie. John just wants the hell out of this. This is a table of mid forty – almost sixty year-olds, discussing dick pics.
Ryan immediately apologizes to Eddie, even though he claims he didn’t say the very infamous line, which Tamra will probably again repeat for the 200th time. His apology, he claims, is for this rumor being out there, even though he didn’t say it. That doesn’t make ANY sense.
Eddie mans up, sort of, and asks point blank – “did you say you wanted to fuck her, or no?” Tamra has a little tiny orgasm. Shannon and John seem very anxious for his answer. John was pretending to be so disinterested in all of this.
He denies it, and explains how he thought there was this mutual harmless flirty banter between them. Jenn had been telling him Tamra thinks he’s hot, in a half-joking way, and was incessantly talking about him, so he thought he could reciprocate. All he said was that she’s hot, he claims. Tamra pretends to look confused. People doing pretend bewilderment expressions always crack me up. It’s like so fucking obvious. Also, interesting how Eddie looks unfazed.
She is so not innocent in all of this. It makes it all the more shitty that she keeps bringing it up in an effort to make herself seem appealing, that this dude wanted her.
Ryan accuses Other Heather of lying, and looks quite uncomfortable making this declaration. I don’t believe him.
Jenn thinks Other Heather is jealous of their relationship, which may be true, but I don’t think that would cause her to completely make this up.
‘On a break’ gets addressed, AGAIN, and Ryan brushes off the bad look of immediately hooking up with someone else during that period. Jenn in her yap, AGAIN, shares that this did indeed bother her, but chose to move past it. This guy is obviously a fuck boy, and proud of it. I also think Jenn is kind of mesmerized by him, and believes everything that he says. He knows what to say, and she’s buying it.
“We don’t ever need to talk about this again.” Tamra claims, and phrases it in sort of like a statement/question type of way.
I’m absolutely positive it will get brought up again. What will be her excuse next time? The gym and what?? She’s already used an ailing dog and grandmother. She has to find another sick mammal to pair with her anxiety over the failed gym, as a reason for pummeling Jenn every five minutes. I wish she would have a little integrity, and say – “it’s my job! A new new house isn’t going to be paying for itself!” Not sure how much earning power Eddie has.
They cheers to “clearing the air” and supposedly not bringing it up every five minutes, anymore. Right.
