Welcome back Heather, not really. She’s already annoying me in the promo they’ve been playing of her screaming at Shannon – ‘YOU’RE NAAAAAAAAAAAAT!” She talks to everyone like she’s disciplining her kids or scolding Terry.
Heather and company are discussing building a house in —— wait for it —- Idaho ???? why Idaho ?? (No You’re da HO!) Again, Idaho ?? do they have an affinity for potatoes??
This dinner scene is nauseating and contrived. We’re going through each kid’s personalities and what they’re up to this summer, as they get served pizza by their chef from the brick oven. Her two oldest are turning 18 (“legal.”) Weird discussion on what that “means.” Guess she never heard it means you’re now a legal adult, (They won’t call you if they get in trouble) and you can now vote.
Gina apparently just got her driver’s license back and hasn’t driven for a year and a half, and has clearly forgotten how to. Gina’s really cool. Can we call her our down-to- earth housewife?
Sarcastic sense of humor, doesn’t take herself seriously at all, cracks joke after joke in her interviews. I hear there is some back stabbing to come with Shannon though, so she’s not above the housewife antics.
Another pilates class with these weird machines. I agree they do look like torture devices. Emily: ‘are you supposed to feel nauseous?’ Answer: ‘yes. Totally.’ Actually, no, Pilates are NOT supposed to make you nauseous. (??????)
Emily tells Gina that since they lowered the passing score of the bar exam ‘due to covid.’ Shane’s last attempt (which was like his 4th , 5th ??) is now a passing score. Gina, like loses it.
I don’t even know where to begin with the plethora of sort of crude jokes (it’s okay though, it is Shane) and sarcastic remarks available in reference to Shane now being awarded his little lawyer certificate since they “lowered the bar” for the passing score of the bar exam.
Anyway, the other funny thing about this revelation is that what in the holy fucking hell does “covid” have to do with reducing the passing score for the lawyer test ???
After covid, (law suits) lawyers won’t need to be as smart? We’ll need more lawyers after/ during (since clearly this is no end in sight) covid ??
Or like people that have had covid, or the vax are now less smart, so a lower score is now passing ?
Or being brainwashed by all of this additional nonsense and over exaggerations for the past two years, has killed people’s brain cells ?? Being locked in your house for several months and wearing a mask over your nose and mouth in your car by yourself, or walking alone (that one STILL gets me) has killed your brain cells? If anything, they should have increased the passing score. They all had more time to study, right ??
Well, maybe we should just look at this on the bright side, that Shane NOW has passed the bar, and we can stop watching him suffer the embarrassment every time he fails. Or is that even a bright side. Again, this IS Shane.
Moving on, they discuss Gina’s new man, and they’re still together, and everything is going swimmingly it sounds like. So Matt, her ex’s court case from the domestic violence issue in 2019 was delayed ‘because of covid’ so in the extra time, Matt decided to take accountability and not deny the charges. And she wasn’t as upset about it anymore ? I think that is what she was saying.
Shannon and her girls shop in a pricey boutique, where one teeny top with half a yard of fabric is $200. I hope they bought a lot of over priced shit to wear once. GIRL YOU SPEND DAVID’S ALIMONY/CHILD SUPPORT SISTER !!!
That cheating creepy old slime. Hope he’s miserable with his new pathetic gold-digging wife and new kid. I feel like he probably is.
Sophie wants to move to Texas permanently possibly after graduation. Shannon wonders ‘what part’ because she’s worried about the zika virus. Almost refreshing to talk about another virus other than covid. I think we’ve all forgotton there are other ones.
Do the girls not like John? When she talked about them all growing up and leaving the nest, one of the twins says, “You have Archie” (the dog) like not even acknowledging that she has John so she won’t be all alone?
Heather and new housewife friend of hers, Nicole meet up on a “really hot day” (in Cally, in July, weird) as they keep saying, to walk on a trail. The first thing that I noticed, did anyone else? is Heather’s strange walk.
Hard to capture in a still but I think I got a good one. What is this ? Anyone ??? She is like, for a lack of a better way to put it, walking like she has a stick up her ass, literally, and leaning way back and throwing out her chest and midriff ??? I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone walk like this. Maybe on a runway, but they’re walking faster and it doesn’t look as ridiculous? (I didn’t realize that Heather had such extremely long legs, and an extremely short torso.) The way she is walking is cracking me up.
Is this an attempt (not that she needs it ) to look skinnier? When you’re already really thin? Or is she just trying to look like she has a stick up her ass???? If that’s what she’s looking for, it’s working. But we do already know she has a stick up her ass.
They discuss Shannon, and apparently her and Nicole’s daughters were in preschool together many years ago. You may have heard this by now, but it will be coming out that this Nicole sued Terry years ago, and supposedly, SUPPOSEDLY Heather had zero idea of this?? And this is to be the ‘storyline’ right out of the gate. Shannon being tricked and manipulated, so she goes bizerk, then everyone calls her crazy. Because of course, Shannon recalls this alleged law suit, and starts talking about it to Emily and Gina.
Heather and Nicole set up a lunch date, and Heather will be inviting new HW ’Noelle.
Who of course is already coming complete with scandal, in case you haven’t heard. Sadly, she has already filed for divorce after only one year of marriage. I’m just going to go ahead and assume she’s a gold digger. They’re so easy to spot on these shows, when in the interviews, they’re bragging up a storm about their homes and their “things.” Also he’s a lawyer and in the process of being sued.
https://thedipp.com/real-housewives-of-orange-county/noella-bergener-husband-sweet-james-bergener
Also she was good friends with Braunwyn and they recently had a falling out.
By the way, speaking of Braunwyn, here is an update on what’s up with her. Apparently she’s now ‘bi-coastal’ and has an apartment in NYC, and frequently jet sets across the country looking for some ass, while leaving four young children at home, I assume. And poor Sean is still catering to her and financially supporting her and her newfound lifestyle. (quote from the article is “a bonus is, she gets along with Sean”) I consider myself open minded, but aren’t there just so many things “not right” with this sentence?
My new lesbian lover gets along with my husband? Not ex husband, husband.
https://pagesix.com/2021/12/01/braunwyn-windham-burke-debuts-new-girlfriend-victoria-brito-in-miami/
Emily and Gina meet at, also new housewife or friend not sure, also friend of ex-friend of Branuwyn’s, not sure, office of ‘Dr Jen’ an Aesthetic Physician, which I am sure is the best kind to be, when you’re living in So Cal. Of course she is dressed like a sexy secretary in an 80’s soft porn movie. Of course Gina is drooling all over her. They do fake rehearsed catch up on how they initially met, and Jen’s kids are “two boys and a girl” Fake convo. Miss the “old” housewives. Not the old housewives, but the way the shows didn’t used to be so rehearsed. Or they seemed less rehearsed.
Emily discloses all of the work she had done on herself. She does look great. I am grateful she didn’t feel the need to throw herself a party, complete with Tittie cupcakes (that got served to her children.) She also happily owns everything that she got done, in her interview, like a normal person would, not at a party, thrown for herself, and serve tittie cupcakes to her children. I’m not talking about anyone’s in particular’s strange behavior on another Housewife City.
Gina and Emily look sort of strange sharing the same exam bed, gurney thing in the office.
Gina gets examined by ‘Dr Jen’ and talks about all of the things she wants done. She got botox in her neck. This made me wonder, does Gina do anything job-wise now that she and Matt are divorced ? Maybe the housewife gig is her job. Don’t think she’s profiting off of her ex, since he lost his job after the domestic violence situation two years ago. And I don’t think he is an ‘independently wealthy’ type of dude. (like Shane. I don’t mean to keep picking on Shane) Maybe she’ll do candles.
Heather arrives for the party set- up consult and planned luncheon date on the “hike” with Nicole, where she was walking really really weird.
So, ALLL RIGHT – let’s talk about how these ladies arrived to an empty restaurant in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY, for LUNCH. If you saw this photo, what type of event would you think they’re going to ?
Hilarious that Heather is wearing a casual dress and white denim jacket and these two weirdos walk in dressed like they’re 23, and going to their first office Christmas Party. Also looks like they called each other like teenagers, and both decided to wear two piece crop top outfits. I’m almost feeling speechless on the ridiculousness of these dresses. How did they NOT know how embarrassingly inappropriate this would come off on TV ? In the middle of the day? For lunch? Ok I’ll be done now.
One more thing, This epic fail will be also be brought up on my new page, “Hot or Not?” where I break down the clothing and fashion on the episodes.
So they’re doing that simultaneous scene thing, and we’re going back and forth between the new overdressed bitches drinking champs with Heather, and Gina, Emily and Shannon getting ocean side shitfaced on margaritas and tequila shots.
Heather is sporting a very high, and very thick pony hair piece, that I think looks stupid. I wanted to get that out of the way. Did you guys watch WWHL Wednesday night when Kelly, because she’s Kelly chimed in making fun of Heather’s overdoing of designer logos ? (which I didn’t even notice) I was like, that wasn’t so annoying, but this fake pony thing ? Much worse.
Shannon arrives, and looks like she may have already had a few to loosen up. They deem themselves the new “tres amigos. ” I think we’re in trouble here.
Noella discusses her husband’s ‘Sweet James’ attorney persona. He IS really is sweet she says. They met online and proceeded to get a room on their first date. She apparently is very thirsty in all aspects.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I mean the beach, the tres amigos are doing shots. And they’re completely shitfaced.
Noelle divulges to the girls that she has a “sex dungeon. ”
There is a lunch plan in the works involving Heather, Shannon and Gina. This is supposedly Gina and Heather’s first meeting. I think most of you know by now, that Gina and Heather, oddly enough, become besties. Gina does like to surround herself with ‘boujie’ people, I think she admitted last season. So in a way, I’m not really surprised. I just wonder if it has the potential for Shannon to again be the ‘odd man out’ as she was with Tamra and Vickie. Because we’re seeing in clips that Shannon and Heather will be at odds. (“I’m a trustworthy person …” “YOU’RE NAAAAAAAT!!!” )
This Nicole chick comes up in the margarita lunch’s convo, Shannon said she looked like Pamela Anderson when she knew her, and that she dated Kid Rock (who also dated the Real Pam Anderson…)
Heather tells Nicole that Shannon does remember her.
They leave ‘lunch’ and can barely stand. Emily is grabbing Shannon’s ass. Assuming they have a ride home. Gina doesn’t want to go home.
Home scene with Dr Jen. Her kid is de-linting the furniture. I see a VERY VERY OCD adult in his future.
Jen is of course, as alllllll of the newbies do in their first interviews, disclosing how her husband, one hundred, walks on water. Then in a few years, they’re divorcing, and we find out, what???? Oh right, he didn’t actually ‘walk on water.’ More like he could barely do the doggie paddle. But we’ll see, didn’t mean to come off as a Debbie Downer.
So after hearing him speak two sentences, I think I may predict what the downfall may be. And we’ll leave it at that.
Shannon and Gina meet Heather at a place called Javier’s, where we get a recap that Shannon attended the same spot a mere twelve hours ago, too plastered to pay her bill, and Heather was forced to take care of it, who HAPPENED to stop by there.
Heather invites them both to her party. Gina asks if she can bring Dr Jen.
Heather and Shannon discuss this Nicole chick. Shannon doesn’t want it brought up to Heather about this previous law suit with Terry.
How would Shannon know this and no one else? And also what is the big fucking deal even ? Terry is a successful rich OC plastic surgeon. I’m sure he’s had A LOT of dumb broke bitches who decided one tit was slightly bigger than the other, trying to get themselves a big payday.
They’re drinking margaritas and now going on the dreaded “tour” at Heather’s house. I don’t know how Gina does it, ya really gotta hand it to her. She has like ZILCH jealousy or resentment whatsoever. I try NOT to be one of those obviously jealous bitches, but I would have had a hard time not wanting just open up my wrists about my mediocre life, if I was on this ‘house tour’ right now.
Guess you know your house is beyond amazing when people walk in the front door and do this immediately:
Heather says Terry’s office is ‘just for show’. Gina says, does he see patients here ? “No” “but he WORKS here??” Heather is like, “no.” So a whole entire very large room staged like an office, is strictly for show.
Here is an interesting tidbit, (who says you can’t ‘learn’ things from watching Reality TV) that taking guests on a ‘tour’ of your home is something only Americans do and is considered very tacky in other countries. I think Dorinda was the one who shared this fun fact ? So I ‘googled’ it for more clarification (sorry Dorinda, don’t be pissed) and seems to be accurate. I couldn’t find a good link to share, mostly I found question and answer sites where people asked, and it seems to be deemed a tacky thing to do. A fellow from Germany who came to America was puzzled why everyone wanted a ‘tour’ of his house. He was like yeah, no one does that in Germany.
Heather has to be seeing and relishing at the seething looks on Shannon’s face. We know that she used to live in this area and have a (sort of) similar home, but she needs to remember her husband was a cheater, a liar and treated her like crap. Heather has a pussy of a husband that is kept on a short leash, and is afraid to piss her off. And I’m not really sure he’s straight after a Botched episode I recently saw.
So it’s all a trade-off.
Oh great, we even get peak into the laundry room, complete with the lowly peasant doing the ironing.
She’s really going into intricate detail in this tour. I mean not like, this is the kitchen, this is my bedroom kind of tour. “these are refrigerated drawerrrrrrrs, ok there was a ‘bump’ on one of the cabinets, so I made them remake all of the cabinets.” Like what would the Europeans think of these annoying details of the actual building details. Shannon is doing a lot of over dramatized fake smiling. Or just looking miserable.
She introduces her chef, Nick, who looks quite unenthused to be introduced to her friends on a “house tour.”
Shannon admits when asked by Gina, if this is all starting to bother her. I supposes she’s beginning to feel the icy stares, and the oohhs and ahhhh seem to have subsided. We get flashes of her previous very large home. Shannon says she hasn’t been in the area in a while and this is making her miss HER refrigerated drawers life. Heather pretends to care and/or relate for one half a second. “Awwwww really?” here have a cocktail… “ok so this is my bedroom and where the magic happens… we had to have the furniture custom made because the room is so huge” Then the hot towel scene. “Feel my hot towels…” Guys Heather is just NOT being bashful about the bragging and showing off, do we feel like she has been dreaming and planning this event for the past five years ????
Is it just me or has this house tour been going on for 3 hours? Now we have the closet. Feeling like this is the finale. All kidding aside, Shannon would rather put a fork in her eyeball than have this continue, but she NEEDS to see this through. What’s almost funny in an ironic kind of way, is that this reminds me of her “tour” of Gina’s new house last year (which I’m going to go out on a limb and say lasted all of two minutes,) where Shannon had very obvious comments and expressions, except in like Reverse. Well that’s over. And I never want to go through that again.
New housewife Noelle (who appears to be like over six feet tall) is paying a visit to new friend/future housewife candidate, Nicole.
Noella brags that she’s a full time Mom with full time help. They head outside with their big little cheeseboard and Noelle tells her how in love her she is. I’m paraphrasing. There’s mutual ass kissing back and forth. Nicole never like stops stroking her hair.
Noelle proceeds to do some Very cringy Erika Girardi- like bragging in her interview. Like is this Erika with dark hair ?? Her husband is also an attorney, and her husband also owes millions of dollars (in Sweet James’ case to the IRS and the state). Kind of funny. Difference is we didn’t have to sit through five seasons of bragging and flaunting, before we found out truth. But, she does, unfortunately go on to talk about the homes, the PJ’s, her BJ’s, vacations, the elevator. “Doesn’t suck”
Well girllll, it’s going to suck!!!
Nicole tells her how awesome her husband is, and how confident she is, how wonderful she is, as they do the annoying rich people laugh, as they agree they’re both soooooooo awesome !!!!! Almost funny, actually it is really funny. I kind of feel bad for her. Wait no I don’t.
So party time. Huge ice sculpture of Heather’s initials. Wow this woman is so pretentious. Is this a girls only thing ?
Apparently all of Heather’s help have same names as her kids. She gets delivered a glass of champagne to her clos – et, after she pushed the champagne delivery button, located in her closet, of course.
Gina already says in the car to Emily that she has every intention of letting Heather know that Nicole sued Terry years ago, and Shannon is talking about it. So what I’m wondering, crazy question, was her suit successful ? I’m guessing not, if Terry and Heather allegedly have no clue, and don’t even recognize her ? I get her name was different then, but still weird.
I’m smelling a planted fake ‘story line’ here.
Apparently Nicole gets fired shortly into the season over this. There’s talk that it was due to Heather forcing her off, or her refusal to get the covid vax. Both are idiotic.
So what, Shannon mentioned that it was weird that Heather is friends with someone that sued or tried to sue her husband. Whooooo caresssss. It’s hard to care about this. It’s hard to believe it wasn’t planned. It’s hard buy that that Shannon did this completely horrific thing, just by bringing it up to Emily and Gina.
Shannon meets Dr. Jen at the party, also ‘Jennieeeeeeeeee’ (sorry Salt Lake reference) Jen said they already met at Braunwyn’s vow renewal, which of course she has no recollection of whatsoever, since she got completely shitfaced at Braunwyn’s vow renewal. They show flashes, but we really didn’t need to see that again. How could we forget ?
Heather and Emily are wearing almost an exact same boring black one sleeved dress, Shannon is also in black. Blahhhhh.
Good girl Gina, wearing bubble gum pink, that’s my girl!!
But I’m not getting Gina and Emilys ’ eagerness to backstab Shannon, I’m thinking waaaayyyyy back to just under an hour ago, when they had this warm fuzzy lunch together, and Shannon deemed them such great friends that ‘warmed her heart’ if I remember correctly ??? Tres Amigos???? Hello? What happened here ?
Heather goes on and on about the party snacks and festies and so forth. In the SA- lon. Then the dining room whatever.
If I were there on a hot July night, I would wanna be in my bikini and floating around that fucking pool with a margarita. And that is all I would want to do, No tour. No SAAAA- lon. No listening to Heather’s yammering about her hot towels.
So apparently this party really really goes left and Heather goes so far as to kick everyone out, and does the hand over the camera thing, since Gina decided there was an extreme need to let everyone know at the fancy pantsy schmantzy party, that Nicole “tried to sue Terry 15 years ago.”
Because she was unhappy with her new titties. And so it begins.
