I want to believe Jessel and Pavit, that they have an okay-ish marriage, and sort of like each other, and are kind of in love. I know marrried life with little kids is not super romantic. But I just don’t. I feel like this was not a real marriage from the start.
Pavit was her friend, he was single, she was single. She saw that he’s a pushover, and she’d be the pants wearer, and the boss, and thought why not? I just don’t see any kind of connecting or sexual energy between them.
In the first handful of eps, we saw Jessel barking at him, and degrading him. That’s seemed to have curtailed. Now it’s these date scenes, where suddenly she’s trying to sell that they’re really happy, and having fun together. And then there’s the looming, no sex in the past two years thing. So, I don’t know. It just doesn’t look good.
Why would you take two little boy toddlers to a ‘music class’ and think they’re going to sit there? Music class? She’s hardcore with this ‘refined’ or whatever, bullshit that she’s trying to instill. They’re boys. Take them to the park. They need to run around and get dirty and be boys. Fuck. Why do I gotta know everything?
She’s coming across as not very in tuned to her children honestly. Whatever. I wanna like Jessel, but I don’t. Between her and the Evil Munchkin, I get such first/second season Luann and Alex McCord desperation energy. Desperate to fit in with the elite, and desperate for approval, desperate to appear bougee.
Poor Pavit can’t even ask for hot sauce without getting annilated and rudely corrected by Jessel. Pretty sure there are red pepper flakes in the kitchen. This may be reason #2 (in addition to the other thing) why he doesn’t want to have sex with her. She’s always correcting him like his mother. That whole spicy interaction literally sounded like a mom correcting a child, who tried to order pizza in amfancy restaurant. It doesn’t hurt to ask, does it? Fuck woman! Do you want laid or not? The poor waiter kid felt so bad for him. He kept reassuring him he would take care of it.
Pavit has planned a staycation date night at the Ritz, and are they are supposedly going to FINALLY FUCK again. This is such an embarrassing marital issue to have in front of a million people.
Pavit: I have a STAYcation planned.
Jessel: Are we staying here??
Jessel. Stop.
The ‘secret nanny’ joke he makes is kind of in poor taste, when you haven’t fucked your wife in two years. I’m not saying I think he has a secret nanny. He may have a secret though, which I’ll get to later. He does seem like he has a good sense of humor and would be fun to be around.
******
So the Jenna scene at the gay club, What bothers me is Brynn pretending to be gay when she’s around Jenna. It’s one thing to be straight, and support your friend by going to a gay bar with them, it’s another to act like you’re gay also. Am I right? She really likes being a tease. That was the whold thing behind the Abe fliration too.
I didn’t realize Brynn was so tall until I saw her with Jenna alone in this scene, and Jenna said she was six feet, and they’re eye-to eye. She’s probably wearing heels, but still to be eye to eye with a six foot person in heels, you’re pretty fucking tall.
She brags she brought gloves, and she’s ready to finger bang. Ouch. Is that a thing? You would think Jenna would be getting annoyed with all of these little gay ‘skits’ she’s doing, or about her aggressive flirting, witht he ladies, but she’s not. She looks intrigued actually.
Jenna ends up meeting a very young girl young enough to be her daughter, that Brynn reels in. She acts like a ‘broker’ when it seems like she may just want this girl’s number. I’m kidding. I think. She gives Jenna her number written on her arm with a sharpie. For effect I guess. So much more romantic/dramatic and Nancy Myer -ish, than putting it in your phone. BORING.
******
Double date night with the two pretentious perfect marriages in the group – Evil Munckin, David, Erin and Tom Hanks. (I’m being sarcastic of course, every time you see a ‘perfect marriage’ on Housewives, what happens?)
Before I even saw the preview 800 times of Tom Hanks saying that he would fuck other women if Erin didn’t have sex with him in a year and a half, I would have predicted how stomach-turning these four would be. I definitely didn’t expext it to take the swinging/threesome turn it took, but it was entertaining.
I don’t even know what would possess Jessel to tell them about her issues in her marriage. The only thing I can think of is she was trying to be ‘real.’ As she’s suposed to be. Exactly what she keeps getting dragged and tormented about not doing by these two pretentious fucks. And I would say that’s also displaying ‘vulnerability.’
Like hey Sai, Jessel shared an embarrassing situation, about her life, why didn’t you share with them that you were David’s side piece? Going at it in the back room at his bar every night?
Here’s my link on that if you haven’t heard yet.
The Bravo assignment is to immediately discuss Jessel.
I don’t think that they get that he seems to not want sex with her. It’s not like he’s begging her, and she’s refusing him. It’s like they agree, so what’s the problem? They’re like Katie and Schwartz on VPR. (now divorced) Both had zero sex drive and interest in each other.
Okay so after the “I would fuck other women” comment, which was funny in the moment, we assumed he was exaggerating, but I don’t think he was. No sense of humor Erin, of course seems miffed.
David does an extreme over compensating laughter. Guess that’s what he did with Sai when he was married, if his wife wasn’t giving it up either. So Sai moved on in.
So Tom Hanks’ answer that we THINK is facetious since he DOES seem to have a sense of humor, opens the door to them going back and forth for what seems like forever, because it’s kind of uncomfortable to watch, about swinging, threesomes and Erin banging gay dudes…
They get so involved, I think they kind of forget that Sai and David are sitting there, and we the viewers are aslo sitting here. And we’re mortified. They bicker if the threesome would be two women or two dudes.
Erin Erin Erin, it is usually two women involved in this threesome man/woman couple scenario. And he is going to want to see some girl on girl. If your dude wants another dude as the third player, be concerned. Be very concerned. Not that theere’s anything wrong with it, if if your’re okay being married to a man that perefers men. Like Jessel.
And they continue. Something about if it was another dude, he would want to be in the room, or wouldn’t want to be in the room. I’m flabbergasted right now. Sai is even is shock. She’s barely going to be out the door, before she’s on the horn telling everyone.
“Would you want to fuck a gay dude ?” Sai inquires.
“Sure why not, if they’re middle of the road…” what IN the hell Erin? Middle of the road? It didn’t sink in to me how fucked up that statement was until I watched a second time.
“Bring in the gays” if they ever have intimacy issues?? Almost as if they’re not even real people?? Even Sai is in shock.
As I have said, I do prefer the real moments over the contrived desperate attempts for drama, but now that I’m picturing all of this, like keep this shit to yourselves.
How many people sat there with their mouths gaping open? I would have maybe thought this was a joke, or a “pRANk’ — dare I say it? Except this would be an actual funny ‘prank, and Erin has no sense of humor, and could never come up with this one.
Where did this even come from? They come off as this squeaky clean conservative nice Jewish couple, but they’re actually closet swingers? And Erin wants to bang a gay guy in front of Tom Hanks to spice things up, if need be.
What makes her think a gay guy would WANT to bang her? All of this oversharing, shows how completely naive and ignorant she is. She’s trying so hard to be progessive and cool, but she sounds like a fucking fucktard. For REAL. Both of them.
You don’t fuck gay guys in front of your husband, if you and your guy are having intimacy issues. You bring in a hott chick stupid! (not sure that’s a good idea either, but people do it) Or just watch some porn. What is happening here? Is she trying to be Samantha? And we saw how that worked out.
******
Okay, rant over. For now anyway. I hope Sai has cataloged this ridiculous convo and will be throwing it up in her face at a later date.
There’s just no smooth segue into Brynn and her vintage book shopping, and talking to her brother about where to spread their grandmother’s ashes. So that was it. That’s what the scene. Like any normal brother, he makes fun of her hat.
******
This epidode’s activity is a healing bath that Ubah is hosting and has organized. Is this a new thing? I think we did this on OC too this season too, or somewhere. One of the wives thought it as an actual bath. Ubah explains that it’s “inspired by the incident in Anguilla.”
Not surprised Sai is eating the second she arrives. Does she have issues? She’s so teeny, and seems like she’s constantly eating. Does she do like four hours of cardio every day?? Does she want people to point this out? Or does she just not eat at home and purposely arrives starving to every event, just so she can bitch if there’s no food, not enough food, or the wrong food??
Brynn is not in attendance, as she has covid. How is it the Housewives are always getting covid? Take some supplements.
I feel like this sound bath thing is something you need to come into with an open mind, and it’s probably not for everyone. I expected Evil Munchkin to ridicule it. Her cold ‘no emotions doesn’t cry, doesn’t care’ schtick is getting almost as tired as the always hungry thing. Just fucking roll with it bitch. We’ve been listening to you yammer, whine, and say nothing of substance for two fucking months. The best part about it, is that it forced her to shut the fuck up.
She doesn’t need ‘heeled’ because there’s nothing wrong with her. Yeah E.M. whatever, we beg to differ. Social Media is on FIRE about her and the general consensus is not good. Especially with this new ‘side chick banging the boss’ revelation coming out.
******
As they’re wrapping up, Jessel invites Sai to meet for lunch. She’s naturally displaying a pissy tude already. Giving off the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ energy that she loves so much. It’s her defense mechanism.
She announces to the girls she’s having a hot overnight date with Pavit. She’s loaded up with lube, lingerie, vibrators, you name it, It’s weird you need all of that. Just have some wine, but whatever. I’m not judging. Hope he’s loaded up with viagra, because I don’t think he’s one bit attracted to her. More on that later.
******
Sai even cries about how destitute she was as a child, to her daughter, to let her know how lucky she is that she can take ballet and go on vacation. She wanted to be a gymnast but she was too poor. Hey, Sai, we don’t give a fuck!
Was that weird is when her daughter entered into the bakery saying she was STARVING (wonder where she gets that)then orders five macaroons, eats one, and says she’s saving the rest for later. Macaroons are like a tiny one bite dessert. Sai tells her, “that’s a good idea.” What the hell was tht?
******
I feel like I keep calling supposedly straight Househusbands and Bravo guys gay. (Eddie on OC, most of the Southern Charm guys) I don’t usually walk around thinking women’s husbands and boyfriends are gay. I don’t think I’ve ever come across it in real life. I only point it out, because they’re all trying to pretend they’re not, and I don’t get it because really no one cares anymore. Just be authentic. Now Pavit is giving me these vibes too. I think this very distressing scene is what sealed it for me, actually. Previously I just thought he was a wimp. Also I don’t see how their actual wives are not suspicious.
Okay, so let’s dive in (cuz Pavit sure as hell ain’t.)
They’re in their bedroom preparing to leave for this hot date night at a the Ritz.
Jessel tells Pavit, “Happy Sexiversary!” as they pop open some champagne, and prepare to leave for the hotel. He makes a REALLY weird face. He looks a little like Beetlejuice.
Now he looks mortified as she shows him all of her sex goodies that she got. He drinks his champs with his pinky out. Do you see what I mean?? This guy is the opposite of masculine.. which is what makes me wonder.
Then if that doesn’t convince you, that he may prefer the opposite of what Jessel is, she gets on top of him to simulate doing it, and he makes the most disgusted faces, and jerks his head way back. I feel so bad for her. No way she got laid that night. I’m going to have to agree with Sai. No fucking way there was fucking.
How all of these gay dudes in denial, married to women end up on Bravo, is a mystery to me too!
Maybe it’s on the questionnaire, and part of the interview process – “Does your husband sometimes act a little not into you? Do ya get any gay the vibes?” If yes, you’re in!!
One could argue, it’s the cameras making him weird, but I don’t think so. Most dudes wouldn’t care about having their wife or girlfriend simulate sex with them, no matter who was around. The more the merrier, because it makes him look like a stud. Guys love that shit.
And guys, his face ! He looks like he wants to throw up!
“What is happening?” He desperately asks.
What is happening? Dude. I feel so bad for her. This is so embarrassing.
He asks her to model her crotchless negligee for him, most likely to get her the hell of off of him, before he loses his lunch.
She looks hot, this nightie is fucking hot, and he literally laughs out loud when she enters back in the room wearing it. Again felt so bad for her. It made her so self conscious, she immediately turned around.
******
Sai and Jessel lunch debacle gets underway. Sai purposely arrives 20 minutes late, just to be a dick, however Jessel is already one upping her, as she arrives a full 40 minutes late. She orders her food because, you know she’s starving. I guess I would have too.
Maybe Jessel is running late because of her hott date the previous night, and she slept in, they were up all night banging. Just kidding.
She thinks Friday at 11am is officially the weekend. Whatever her fake job is in ‘fashion’ she doesn’t need to do it on Fridays.
Sai isn’t trying to hide her annoyance and cannot smile for the life of her. Jessel’s eyes look all puffy, so not sure what went on at the Ritz. It looks like she’s been crying. Guess it was that bad. What’s the other guy look like? Sai asks her about it, not even looking up from her bowl she’s chowing from. Jessel claims that the deal was sealed, the seal was broken, whatever. She does seem in good spirits, so I don’t know.
This is starting to feel like a complete violation of these two’s privacy. I don’t want to hear about it at all AT ALL anymore. It was funny at first, but it’s been done to death. Sai continues to talk to her while looking down at her food.
She drills Jessel about the Vietnam trip, which okay, IS weird. But it’s just like – enough. And what is Jessel wearing? It looks like a huge man’s shirt. Is this a thing?
The purpose of this lunch is to further defend herself against the allegations that she had this-ohmiGod ‘help’ after college, other than living with the drunk uncle. Sai finally stop eating and looks at her.
Jessel apologizes for coming off whatever. Sai looks blank and grumpy. And tells her she doesn’t care, yet she never stops bitching about it, but suddenly she doesn’t care. Honestly we don’t care either but this broad clearly has nothing else to do or talk about.
“Just own it!” Hmm, that’s going to come back to bite her. I don’t know what they want her to ‘own.’
Not very bright Jessel digs her own grave when she decided to say that this uncle that she lived with was an alcoholic, in a way to make Sai realize she understands her situation.
So she starts to cry, sort of, since he died and she thinks she should have done more. This should be the ‘vulnerability’ we wanted?
Guess not, because Sai complains that she’s not ‘vulnerable’ – as she’s sitting here crying.
Sai leaves in a huff. How big was that rice bowl? She was eating the entire time almost non-stop. and there’ still a lot left when she leaves.
