Real Housewives of Dubai Reunion Part 1

Caroline 1 and Lesa are not looking forward to seeing each other they each confirm to Andy.

Naomi Campbell supposedly calls Andy, right as Ayan sits down (first chair woot woot, what do we think of that?) and says she would like Ayan to model for her or with her, or something.

Wow what a coincidence !!! Just as I’m sitting down to film the reunon

Caroline 1, at first does a good job with a half genuine-ish smile, then can’t really keep it up, and starts making constipated faces and looking down. Yes, I do believe she holds jealousy and resentment for Ayan, due to her successful modeling career. And do we think that call form Naomi was actually random and not planned?

Does this fake smile make me look happy and not jealous??

I think since the dresses are such a huge part of the Reunions, that the ladies should do a sort of makeshift almost red carpet, as they are entering so we can really see the dresses. It’s hard to tell sometimes when they’re sitting down. And seeing them online isn’t the same.

We did see them all entering, so this is better, but sometimes they begin with them already being seated. The preview looks that Bravo puts out online are really sucky. Whomever is doing their photo shopping or whatever you call it, really sucks at it. The colors are off and they are doing something weird with their faces.

So right off the bat, on the dresses, looks like there was no actual color theme. Colors are all over the place. Which is fine, just pointing it out since there usually is some sort of scheme. I love the sparkle factor on all of them. Maybe that was their only ‘rule.’

Stanbury’s is a little disappointing. It’s fine, but no wow factor. It is age appropriate. You’re supposed to do either short, or boobs, not both, and she is following that rule. Ayan, well very Ayan, very feathery. Not in love with the bright yellow. Her makeup and hair are gorg though. Sara’s is pretty, as is Nina’s. Lesa’s is very bright, and very plunging.

Not loving her look. it’s fine, just fine.
Very Boobiliscious
Gorgeous hair and makeup!!!

And Brooks looks ridiculous. What is with the crown? that’s pretty fucking narcissistic. But this is the woman who had large portraits of herself alone, all over her house. None of her kid.

No !! Just No !!

Ayan scolds her for ‘copying’ her feather obsession. I’m surprised Brooks had no comeback for that. Maybe it comes later. Ayan is NOT the only one doing feathers.

Andy gets political in first question about featuring country where homosexuality is ‘not allowed’ and women don’t have ‘rights.’ They correct him that there are no laws against homosexuality (unlike Florida – just kidding – that’s sarcasm, hope you all understand what sarcasm is) it’s just PDA that is not allowed, regardless of your sex.

I feel like Andy should have known this. If for no other reason, the Sex and the City movie where Samantha got arrested for making out with a dude on the beach. It’s just an extremely conservative country. Which shouldn’t really be a shocker, it’s Middle East. It’s a lot more progressive than other countries, for sure, but still Middle East. Is Andy just playing dumb? They talk about abortion a little. I’m not sure how that’s relevant. Can we stop talking about abortions at some point. I’m pro-choice, when it’s necessary, in first trimester, of course, not 3rd, but I just find it off putting to be obsessed with women having abortions.

He says there was ‘speculation’ that the show was funded by the government. I hadn’t heard that, and what would start that rumor? I mean what’s the rationale behind it? That it’s sort of an ‘advertisement’ of sorts to live there?

He asks if the show is aired in Dubai. Sara says there was a backlash of sorts because they don’t necessarily represent a typical Dubai ‘housewife.’ Sara points out, it’s not documentary. It’s a show for entertainment purposes. Good point. That’s what a lot of Facebook chat group members need to keep in mind when they get all huffy and in their feelings, and act like you insulted their mother, if you post something they don’t agree with.

And there’s this set of ladies that say, “It’s a TV show.” when you make a post. Yeah stupid karen, no fucking shit, and this is a chat page for posting your thoughts about said TV show. Why does this type of person even join the chat groups? I literally think they’re just miserable nerd table weirdos, that enjoy being a fucking buzzkill. So if you’re a bitter buzzkill karen bitch, please stay off the Bravo FB chat groups. They’re for fun, sarcasm, judgment, gossip and yes, digs (just as most of the rules point out if anyone bothered to read them) and not to be taken seriously.

Anyway Sara goes on to explain, the Dubai residents didn’t, of course understand the premise behind the Housewife shows, since I’m assuming they were not aired there (until now) Andy shares that when

Atlanta started, the freaking MAYOR reached out to Bravo and said “this show doesn’t represent Atlanta.” Andy had to explain to him also it’s not meant for that. And just to elaborate on that thought, I sure as H E L L hope Erika, Rinna, and Senola Headbutter Dijana do not represent Beverly Hills!! Although I doubt the mayor there, really gives two shits that LA/BH is represented by a group of bitter, nasty 50somethings acting like they’re still in 7th grade.

Andy asks Brooks about her “black people are treated like royalty” comment. She explains that comparitivly speaking to the United States, where it is necessarily the case, Of course every race has the same opportunities in America.

Also points out the are in the minority so it’s really ‘huge’ that three black women are featured on the show. I can appreciate that. I do like the diversity on Dubai. We have an English white woman, three women of color, a Dubai native, and a Lebanese American. It’s pretty cool.

Now we’re on to gun control, and how horrible America is. Andy says ‘Amen to that.’ Yes, we do need to do better on that. Improvements can be made to keep weapons out of the hands of criminals and the mentally ill. But, Andy I hope realizes that, we also have our government in certain states (blue) promoting violent criminals to walk free. So they can’t have it both ways. And criminals often know how to get them without walking into a Camping/Hunting store, and submitting to background checks.

Having said that, ‘friendly’ reminder, unless you live in a cave, you should know Americans are now in an age where, I thought I would never see, we have our own government coming after it’s own, so there IS that. And not to beat a dead horse, or goat, Lesa, you’re living in a country where your government tells you, you can’t kiss and hug your husband (and I don’t mean, like, make out) in a restaurant, and can’t get pregnant if you’re not married, so let’s maybe lose the judgment.

I do like Stanbury’s comment, “We don’t have crime, we live in safety, everyone lives in peace together, and respects each other.” While I do appreciate the sentiment, it’s kind of ironic coming from Caroline Stanbury, who is NOT very respectful of others. But I get what she was saying. But again our extreme crime problem right now is due to criminals not being punished. I have a feeling, in Dubai, if they do have a dude committing a violent crime, he’s not walking the streets the next day. Just sayin, Andy.

They get questioned on alcohol sales and consumption. So it’s not illegal as Sara explains, it’s just ‘controlled’ just as it is in certain states in the United States. So it’s not that abnormal and ridiculous.

Not all states can you walk into your local grocery or convenience store and buy alcohol either. Where I am at, the state controls liquor sales (not beer and wine) and you cannot get liquor in regular food/beverage stores. Which means you can’t buy liquor on Federal Holidays.

Also restaurants have to purchase a very pricey ‘liquor license’ in order to sell liquor. We just started being able to purchase beer and wine at some grocery stores, but you have to go through a separate line for it. Which is a pain. I admit sometimes when I’m in the grocery store I avoid getting wine because I don’t want to take the time to stand in a separate line, with one register.

I think some people are being a little naive about Dubai actually with some of these questions. I mean, haven’t they seen the Sex and The City Part 2 movie??

I didn’t know about the license thing that even individuals have to purchase in order to purchase alcohol. But it’s not hard to comprehend that it’s more ‘controlled.’ Aka not available Everywhere, all of the time.

I think Caroline 1 pointed that out in an episode in her yap, that it’s a common misconception. It makes sense with it being a more conservative country.

Brooks jokes that she “drank it all” and said there is a box on the application where it asks if you’re an alcoholic and she checked that box. I did read that she has an alcohol problem, I commented on

Twitter about it, and she replied to me that she only drinks two drinks. I should have said, yes but how many times per day do you drink ‘two drinks??’ I just left it go. I didn’t feel like getting into a Twitterargument with this woman. So not to sound like Sutton, but ‘THAT’S confusing.’ If you’re adamant that you’re not an alcoholic, maybe do not joke about it and call yourself one??

Caroline 1 is the first one to be on the hot seat with her ‘housewife’ life being discussed. Of course her big story line being, her new very young, possibly gay, possibly not, husband, who is extremely anxious to procreate with his 46.5 year old wife. Andy asks about her ‘timeline’ and she replies that it won’t be until their house is finished, and that’s not for another two years. (two years?? wtf are they building, and how are they affording this?) She seem annoyed at being questioned if she’s going to be the ‘carrier.’ She answers “yes, Andy.” (she’ll be 48 – 50) by this time.

But she doesn’t have much of a choice because surrogacy is not allowed in Dubai, since you have to be married to the father to be pregnant. So the surrogate would have to be outside of the country. It’s possible to do that, but she’d rather not, she tells him.

She gets questioned about how it didn’t seem as if she wanted to really have a baby at all. She does a good job at explaining it, that it’s important to him so she’s willing to. I just question a woman having a child that she doesn’t really want. And she did make the strange comment on the show, about having this child, and not being interested in being at all involved. Didn’t seem to me like she was kidding.

She gets asked if they have a prenup. How is this anyone’s business? I don’t really care whether or not she has a prenup. But the panel here really seems to be interested in this, and interested in Sergio’s income source, or lack thereof. Ayan points out that he never played professional soccer for Madrid, as Caroline claims. So turns out he did have a contract, however he never actually PLAYED. For some reason Caroline 2 seems to be speaking for Caroline 1, and explains he got benched. (so he sucked) but as most people know, Ayan doesn’t, probably because she’s from an area where they don’t have pro athletes (well maybe that’s not true, I don’t know.) that don’t actually play, still get paid. So he was second string, which they need in the event the players get hurt. Ayan seems to find this really amusing, which is kind of rude, but at the same time, you can’t really blame her, because Stanbury got plenty of digs in on her too, especially in the first half of the season, even blatantly telling her to her face in a group dinner, “I don’t like you.”

Okay so it seems safe to say that Sergio, as a second string pro soccer player, for one season, didn’t exactly get rich from soccer. Wonder why he gave it up? He’s only 27? Whatever. Who cares. Caroline 1 looks a little defeated at having to admit this, as Ayan smirks.

Sounds like a LOOOOOSERRRR !!!!

We’re still on Sergio, apparently fiveish years ago he made a racist tweet. Caroline again looks uncomfortable about having to address this, but suck it up buttercup! Apparently he was unhappy about having dudes of color on his team. (perhaps this is why he sat on the bench the whole entire season and wasn’t renewed, just a guess, or opinion.) I literally just had to explain to Bravo chat group ding dong what the meaning is of an opinion.

Boy Lesa and Ayan are looking quite smug. I’m not hating it. Caroline 2, again speaking on behalf of Caroline 1 (didn’t really think these two were that great of friends) clarifies that she was pissed about it, and addressed it with Sergio. He claims it was not his tweet, it was attached to an Insta post to promote a nightclub or something? I don’t think that makes any sense. Why would a tweet using the ‘n’ word be used to promote anything? besides a KKK rally?

Also isn’t the old go-to for the Housewives? Hello! Jen Shah from SLC! (I’m just going to refer to Sergio as a Housewife at this point.) Oh I didn’t tweet that, it was my ‘team.’

Andy asks Brooks if she was ‘satisfied’ with Sergio’s explanation. She says sort of or something like that. So apparently he’s claiming to not know that word means, and if was derogatory. And of course the old standby “Sergio is the least racist person.” He doesn’t come off to me to be racist, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not.

A viewer asks about Caroline’s free shit for being an ‘influencer.’ She seems relieved that the convo is off of Sergio now, and his lack of career, and using the ‘n’ word in a tweet. I guess I would be too.

Andy asks her how many followers she has on Insta, and I guess it’s not an impressive number, because she clarifies, “it’s not about how many it’s about who, and she says she has really rich powerful people following her. ***** look on instagram+++

Spoke too soon, back to poor Sergio, when he’s not even here to defend himself. Viewer asks if he works or what does he do. Ayan’s chuckles and smirks are cracking me up.

Caroline claims he’s not on her payroll per se, but is involved in her business. I’m assuming he’s the camera guy. She also says that he gets up a 4am and does ‘crypto’ trading, and that she really doesn’t understand it.

Clearly she doesn’t because the crypto market all but went completely away. So I would guess what she’s tryin to say is that he dabbles in trading. I guess the ‘huge check’ he gave her for the house from his bitcoin trading was before it went to shit a few months ago. Must’ve had some inside info. Andy, of course because he’s a gazzilionaire from Housewives, doesn’t understand not paying cash for a house. Guess he thought the ‘huge check’ referred to enough to pay for it outright. He did this with Robyn on Potomac at the last reunion, when she was questioned bout her ‘hat money.’ Andy immediatelt assumed her ‘hat money’ was enough to purchase the house in cash. She’s like no dude, I put the down payment on it.

So yes, Andy is confused and questions, “but if he gave you a check for the house…” Ayan is losing her mind with laughter. Caroline tells him it’s being used for all of the new furniture. Not sure why her personal finances are even being discussed right now.

Neither of the Caroline’s are my favorite, but it just seems sort of inappropriate and irrelevant. You wouldn’t sit there and ask someone (well at least I wouldn’t, I was actually questioned about my and my boyfriend’s finances by a co worker, I barely knew at my last job) I tried to answer her questions, but was thinking bitch back off! So I guess people do do it. Anyway I just think these intricate details of Caroline’s and Sergio’s finances, and who is paying for what, is a bit inappropriate.

Call me crazy. Wouldn’t be the first time.

The camera dude continues to go focus on Ayan’s gloating faces. You know that Stanbury can most likely see her, from where she is sitting and has to just ignore it. She knows if she tells her to knock it off, she is going to get an earful. Probably about that whole misunderstanding thing where she thought Caroline was asking her “what she does” to insinuate she does nothing. And I really don’t think she was.

She gets questioned if all of their many social media PDA posts are fake or not. They show several pics of them in a lip lock. She claims they’re “always affectionate” which I don’t necessarily believe, because Caroline is very much NOT overly affectionate.

Ayan argues this and calls it fake, and Sara cheerleads for Stanbury, and says she’s at her home all the time and they are affectionate. Why are Sara and Brooks not getting shit for ‘speaking for Caroline’ but Lesa does for ‘speaking for Ayan?’

So my opinion on Ayan, she just needs to back down the faces and comments. Like a few snickers and smirks, fine, she deserves it, but we’re 15 minutes in, with Caroline answering questions, and she’s starting to appear desperate and vengeful. She even argues as to whether she and Sara live near each other. This doesn’t appear to be letting up because apparently there was a Twitter argument (who is SICK of the Housewife social media constant feuds?) about who is getting the most, or least amount of sex. Yes I am serious. So we went from their finances to how many times per week they fuck. Why?

Ayan ridicules Sergio’s naivety about pregnancy and childbirth, and how that all works. Maybe his parents never explained the birds and bees to him. Okay whatever, so the dude doesn’t know much about making them, he just wants one. He’s a 27 year old kid. When you go to buy a car, do you ask to see exactly how it was built??

Apparently Caroline has Sergio goin in hardcore with picking fights with the ladies. There was another argument pertaining to Lesa’s clothing business with Sergio claiming that their friend funded her business. Someone needs to proof his tweets. Not to be the grammar police, but why two sets of quotation marks around 8 figures, and he misspelled business, and wrote ‘called in a lie’ instead of ‘caught in a lie’ Just sayin. And this is just ODD for him to be tweeting this. why would Caroline be putting him up to this? Or is he doing this on his own? Not sure which is worse.

Sergio needs a hobby, and a dictionary.

Lesa takes great offense to this and assures her, no one has funded her business – ever, and hands

Andy a receipt of her FaceBook ads profit in one month. Caroline 1 pulls out her cell and claims she has had no views, and no ‘traffic’ on her website. How would Caroline know that? You can’t pull up the analytics on someone else’s website, or is she just referring to social media? This isn’t looking good for Stanbury.

Lesa points out Caroline’s “bankrupt business” which is true. I recall the last season of LOL when she was moving to Dubai her ‘Gift something’ I forget what it was called, business was having to close up shop. And not because she was moving to Dubai. It wasn’t making a profit.

So thank God, we are moving on to Caroline 2 since Caroline 1 has been sufficiently humiliated and ate up. Sorry but that’s how it looked to me. If Sergio accompanied her to NY, (I’m sure he did, what else does he have to do) it’s safe to say he didn’t get lucky that evening. Pretty sure she was probably in a really foul mood for getting her ass handed to her. Or maybe it gets better for her. Hopefully there are only two parts. I can’t really take anymore.

They replay some Brooks scenes with her stating how she “walked away with nothing from her marriage, she’s building empire, she’s great, she’s ‘historical’ (wouldn’t go that far – she’s not the first black woman to be a success story?) she claims she belongs in the ‘Guinness World Records’ (I googled this to make sure I was spelling it right, apparently they’ve dropped the ‘book’ from the title.)

Didn’t she make fun of Ayan for bragging early in the season? She shares that her spa is opening in 28 days, so if this was filmed around a month ago, it should be up and running at this point. And there will also be a second location. Shouldn’t she wait to see if this one is a success? But what the hell do I know? I worry because she’s not exactly a ‘people’ person, and she will be in charge of a lot of them.

They discuss her ex and his anger issues, the typical gotta swing my dick around type, toxic masculinity standard type dude. We get that she “left with nothing” Why does she keep announcing this? We got it.

I’m sure she’s getting hefty child support, not to mention, he’s financing her spa, so she should probably just be done with that rhetoric. So you didn’t get half? Whatever. They probably had a prenup, which is why she got ‘nothing’ as she enjoys bragging about. She signed a document to ensure she gets nothing. She should be glad she escaped the clutches of an abusive dude and didn’t spend twenty fucking years with him. It’s not always about money.

She brags she has ‘several’ boyfriends, when I think she really has zero boyfriends. Now that she’s been acting like and admitting to being a gold digger for the past four months, she’s probably going to have less than zero boyfriends.

Ayan points out she likes rich men. Yes we definitely get that. If she’s such a success, and needs to be in the Guinness World Records, why does she need to snag a rich dude? Fair question, right?

They bring up that parenting argument, and now they are besties and have gotten past it. Sara looks uncomfortable, as Brooks explains how she needed to read the room in that moment, and drop the questioning when she saw her initial reaction. Sara keeps trying to flip this strand of hair around (she is a hair flipper/fluffer) that has a shitton of product in it. It’s not moving, stop trying to flip it.

Nina gets questioned about her involvement in this whole thing, since Brooks called her at 6 am the following morning to question her as to “why Sara would do such a thing?” Sara reminds her she involved her and asked her to speak with Sara. Typical Housewife ‘job,’ I’m sure it’s outlined in their job descriptions. Instead of just calling Sara directly, because Brooks sure as hell isn’t shy, she calls another one of the girls to gossip about her, and get her involved, and then forces them to “choose sides” and talk about it. Then what she said gets reported to the other. It’s probably written into their contracts. Can you just see it??

Do you understand you called me and ASKED me to speak to Sara??

YOU MUST NEVER ATTEMPT TO RESOLVE CONFLICT DIRECTLY WITH THE PERSON YOU’RE PISSED AT, OR YOU WILL BE IMMEDIATELY TERMINATED.

So I guess the Carolines are close? Maybe I just forgot that.

They flash on the various fights, and screaming until it finally got resolved.

Ayan was pissed about Sara writing ‘kind’ on her hand or something. I don’t even recall that. They bicker about Ayan always being on the defense and victimizing herself. Sara calls the Ayan and Lesa “the highlighters.” It’s nice that Caroline and Sara now seem close and actual friends outside of filming, That could change. It will probably change.

Ayan and Brooks do have a weird relationship. I feel like they just shouldn’t be friends. Andy asks them what they like about each other, and how they became friends. If that’s what you want to call it.

Why would a true friend try to make you feel bad about not being invited to a party?

So we revisit the ‘important’ argument and Ayan not being invited to that stupid hen party. I do see how the ‘important’ thing got misconstrued. It still wasn’t really a nice thing to have to hear. Caroline’s point was she only wanted people there that she was close with.

But still. With the whole group being invited, she should have been invited. They are yelling and talking over each other. Not sure what is being said, but I get the gist. Ayan being made to feel like she’s less than, not wanted and stupid. And that’s just a bad way to feel or try to make someone feel. It

Now argument over whose are whose the bestest bestie with whom. I read on SM, probably Twitter, of someone who suggests Lesa and Ayan stop teaming up against the others, and alienating themselves from the group, because they will only be able to film with each other, which will limit them developing on the show. Sort of makes sense

Lesa’s turn. Ya know as far as goats go, Miss Goat was really a cute goat. And Lesa had to appreciate some female energy in the house. She had to. I just don’t think living with four dudes is easy. They need to get a female dog since Miss Goat ate some chemicals, (my speculation) and passed on.

Now the Stanbury/Nina friendship —thing and how it bothers Lesa to no end, since she claims the reason she doesn’t like Stanbury, is due to Nina hating her previously, and whatever. It just seems like all of this has already been beaten to death.

Did I miss the episode where Lesa is dressed in that super chic 60’s go-go girl outfit? So freaking cute.

And why in the HELL are we talking about the $1,000 ice cube they got delivered for their pool?

They can afford it, her sons probably think it’s so cool!! (no pun intended!) Are you kidding me, what kid wouldn’t ? a ginormous fucking ice cube dropped into your pool? I even think it’s cool and I’m not a six year old boy. Why does this need to be explained? Aren’t we all glad to see them using their pool and hanging out with their kids? In all the years of OC & BH, I’ve rarely seen anyone using their fucking pools.

Stanbury is so shady and bored, she EVEN went so far as to go on Twitter and say “she’s never seen anyone put Ice in their pool unless they HAVE to?” Like wtf, could we be more shallow and desperate to pick a fight, about this young mom doing something fun for her three friggin little kids?

Stanbury needs to sit the fuck down.

Lesa needs to just shut this down and say “my kids fucking love it so shut it ya old hag!”

This is still going on, and she assures Stanbury her pool has a heater and a cooler, it’s standard in Dubai where the temp probably gets up to 120 degrees in the summer.

Lesa shades back that “she’s new to having a house…” and reiterates it’s for the kids.

So you’re even jealous of my giant ice cube???

Like of all the ridiculous reunion arguments. Stanbury seems to really be reaching. Think Lesa and her husband are doing okay. She has a successful clothing line, and her husband is fucking big wig finance dude in a bank.

Stanbury is an Insta ‘influencer’ and her husband gets up at 4am to play around with bitcoin, which no longer even exists. It’s jealousy, and it’s a bad look. She chose this man. It’s not like it was an ‘arranged marriage.’ She chose to marry a 27 year old kid, and failed pro soccer player, that cries and acts like a girl.

Miss Goat gets the platform again, and Andy offers his condolences to Lesa about her untimely passing.

Stanbury gets asked if Lesa is ‘over hyping’ her brand. She says she ‘googled’ maternity wear and Mela Rose is not listed, and says that her designs are stolen from her friend. Hmmm, Maybe Caroline’s friend is copying her.

Let me know when you can run a successful business, I can teach you.” says Lesa.

Caroline whips out some binder thing that looks like the ‘Burn Book’ from Mean Girls. She looks pretty pleased with herself about it.

Nina has a fruitcake business? Since when? First I heard of that? Does she like sell them on the corner or what??

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