Erika talking about her random fucking lays with old men makes me want to “puke in my mouth” to quote Sandy from Below Deck Med. This woman has no self-respect whatsoever.
To sit here and brag to a gazillion people that she’s boning strangers that are using her for sex, and we know this, and she knows this, but won’t say it. They don’t want to be seen in public with her, so there’s no ‘dating.’ This takes a special kind of skankiness to be doing this and bragging about it, on TV. I’m not even joking when I say some of them are most likely leaving an envelope on the dresser.
Do they bring their own alcohol at least, or does she have to provide that too?? The ladies all dutifully sit there and pretend to be amused and impressed instead of disgusted. Sutton had a look of being repulsed on her face. The rest acted like it was cute, when they’re thinking it’s pitiful. They’re laughing at her, not with her.
She goes on to say she has a ‘roster’ and it’s a relief when you get someone that can stay hard all the time. Was that a diss on her 80 year old husband? I guess this was an arranged marriage, and someone forced her to marry a dude that’s thirty years older? She thought she would be getting boned all night long, by a dude in his 60’s, 70’s, 80’s?
They flash on all of her embarrassing scenes, and of course she’s not embarrassed at all. It’s not long before Garcelle brings up Jax, and wants to know why him, why Jax, why not one of the adults?
I do believe, and this is not making excuses for her, at all, but that Jax was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. He wasn’t ‘chosen.’ She couldn’t even fucking stand, let alone make any type of actual decisions. By that point, at the end of the party, when Jax came to retrieve the flowers, she’d been sucking down her free cocktails for hours, and she was completely blacked out, completely.
And in her blacked out-ness, she thought that she was being funny and cute, and of it course didn’t ‘land’ as we say now, with Jax as a joke.
I actually don’t think she meant it to be an asshole to Jax. This is just her sense of humor. Dry AF. She was sort of in a silly drunk of mood when she said it. I forget when she and Dorito were discussing before Jax approached. And guys let’s be honest. Erika is really really dry. Did you ever hear her try to crack a joke when she’s stone cold sober? She can’t. She usually comes off as sounding offensive, and whomever she’s trying to joke with just stares at her like they want to stab her. In an early season episode, she tried to make a joke at the dude that seated her and Rinna at a restaurant. He didn’t laugh. She doesn’t know how to be funny.
So when she tries to explain it this way to Garcelle, I do actually believe she’s telling the truth, that she was being stupid (well duh that’s every second of every day) and wasn’t coming from an angry place. There was no issue with Jax. She didn’t need to drink twenty margaritas at someone’s birthday party was the first mistake, the second was not calling Garcelle the next day, the second she was told about it, and apologized. The fact that Garcelle had to approach HER about it at the next event, is so utterly despicable. Even then she acted all inconvenienced to be forced into an apology.
Garcelle scolds Dorit for not saying anything in the moment. I do recall her being like “you can’t say that..,” She very slightly reprimanded her. But then again, Dorit knew she was shitfaced and the damage was done at that point. It’s not like she was capable of apologizing right then and there. Or, actually maybe it would have been a good idea to force her to apologize when she was blacked out drunk. Maybe she would have been better at it;she sure as hell can’t when she’s sober.
So by the looks on their faces, the moment Dorito and Vyle have been dreading, it appears. When they laughed at the whole encounter. Their excuses suck fucking ass, especially Kyle’s:
“I didn’t realize how bad it was until I watched it back.” So what made it more real and understandable watching it back, verses just being told that Erika told Garcelle’s Jax to “get the fuck outta here…” Andy lets them off too easy. He did say it was “unsettling to watch” so, yay, good for him, but he did seem to accept her excuse.
So I know I said this when this ep aired to explain why I think Mario made that comment, “I think it’s great that she did that” is because last season Jax made some snarky comment about Kyle and his fish, being basic.
Which Kyle deserved, because shes fucking Kyle. The kid was just sticking up for his mom. Newsflash – about a million people also hate your wife, ‘Mo.’ Not just Jax. he has now posted on SM some flimsy fucking apology that he didn’t understand the whole ‘context.’ Also his stupid netflix series is starting next week. How coincidental. It all came off quite racist, I’m just saying.
Dorit looks like she wants to throw up when they play that flash.
Garcelle: “I don’t see what would be funny about it at all.”
Kyle: “I don’t either, and that’s my bad.” (it was because Erika was “letting loose!” remember?) Okay Kyle ‘YOUR BAD’ is the best you can fucking do? You’re embarrassing. As a fellow female and mom, you’re embarrassing me. And you’re too old to say “my bad.”
They should have played the whole fucking clip when they went on with that dialogue about Erika letting loose, and Dorit saying it was kind of funny, but it wasn’t MY child she said that to. As if Garcelle’s child isn’t important?? And Dorit why would it be, that Garcelle’s son isn’t important?
Cuz why? Help us out here. Oh, I know, you look at him as your future driver or grass cutter right? Because you only hire minorities as your ‘help’ to show you’re not racist right? We all remember that from last season, right?
Garcelle: “Had I done that to you it would have been a total different story and you know it.”
“NoNoNo” Kyle says. I don’t even thinks he absorbed what Garcelle even said. Or was she trying to blow by that, because she knows it’s true. “NoNoNo” was not the correct reply, or a reply that makes any sense at all. YesYesYes, it would have been COMPLETELY different! She probably would have had Garcelle arrested !
Sorry I can’t let this go. Guys can we all just IMAGINE for a fucking second the catastrophe that would have taken place had Garcelle had too many cocktails and told Portia to get the fuck outta here, AT KYLE’S BIRTHDAY PARTY? Fuck me, it would have been WWIII and IV, and I am POSITIVE that they would have tried to get her fired. And she probably would have been. Look how Kyle treated Garcelle over her non payment at her charity event!! Grcelle would have been raked across the fucking coals, and don’t even try to tell me different.
Kyle’s head is bobbing all the fuck around because she knows she fucked up, as she rambles on with stupid excuses and self-promoting commentary about how fab she is, and being a mom comes first.
Garcelle wants to stab her with her earrings. “I understand that but it’s my kid as opposed to your kid.” Right, so save your “I’m a mom” rhetoric Kyle, we fucking know you’re a mom too, not the fucking point. That makes it all the more worse, so maybe don’t point that out right now. We’re not talking about your spoiled little fucking brats right now. I guess Kyle had no response to that, because nothing was said.
Dorit saves her by interjecting that she was “taken aback and felt like someone stabbed her in the stomach.” EEwwwkay Fake Cheese Flavored Dorito, sure that was completely evident in that scene with Kyle, your Latin lover, and your loser broke ass casino dude that looks like Fred on I Love Lucy.
Again bitches need to save all of these empty fucking words and just own how fucking insensitive, and that was as moms themselves, to ACTUALLY defend the drunk old hag, over a child that got cursed at, “as a joke.” They’re no better than Erika right now.
That scene showed how they REALLY felt about the situation. They thought it was funny. They didn’t care that it hurt and embarrassed Jax. Now they’re on the hot seat where they’re forced to be held accountable, so all of a fucking sudden we’re all ‘sorry’ and trying to lay it on a little too thick. Erika can’t even interject here, and be a decent human, and again tell Kylrito that she felt bad she did that, and they shouldn’t be making excuses for her.
Maybe point out, they would have all been pissed had it been their kid. Say fucking something instead of sitting there staring into space. What a clueless ditz.
“Did you have an outer body experience then?” Dorito is so fucking dumb she doesn’t even understand that she’s referencing the convo with Kyle vs how she says she felt in the moment.
Dorit all serious, trying way too hard to justify this shit, when there really is none, retells that later that night she told her, and she’s so proud, “Erika, like what the fuck are you doing, that was not okay.” As if she deserves a fucking trophy for saying this to the fucking Queen Bee, that these other four would defend if she blew someone’s head off, I swear.
Garcelle points out that Erika WAS wrong.
Erika sits here with a dumbfounded look instead of taking ownership again, yes I know she has, but that was such a SHIT- TEE thing to do, and we know how she hates apologizing, so yeah, she can fucking suck it up. Sutton was forced to apologize to Renal 8000 fucking times. I don’t care how many times she “owned it.” And by the way, she never really owned it, she just makes excuses. Nasly stupid Erika who talks like a 70 year old man with a sinus infection, “I already said I was wrong.”
I can’t stand when they refer to Erika as ‘cleared’ of any crimes involving Tom’s theft. I need to FF this. That’s not the fucking point for the 947th fucking time. She shouldn’t do jail time, I agree with that. However, she should be on the HOOK for some of this cash that Tom stole and FUNNELED TO HER, even if “she didn’t know.” Why can’t anyone get her to comprehend this? Somebody tell me. Andy wants ‘reactions.’
I don’t get why Tom’s not in jail though. Is it the dementia act that’s saving him? Captain Sinus Infection reiterates when a viewer asks a questions about the people he stole from. “they’re not her responsibility.” It’s not her fucking problem. Same old fucking shit that we know.
If the ladies have a problem that she doesn’t express empathy, “that’s on them.” I hate that phrase, “that’s on you” when you try to tell someone how you feel. Or “that’s your perception.”
Guess what personality type says that? Betcha can’t guess? Narcissists! Because they have an inability to empathize or care about something that doesn’t directly involve them.
And to further prove my point, as if it couldn’t get any worse, this bobble head bimbo FOR FUCKING REAL, uses a plane crash analogy, of putting your oxygen mask on yourself first, before you help your child, to try to get across her point! Which of course fails, because it doesn’t even make any sense. (like is she paving the way for future gold digging ho’s whose husbands are giving them cash, and buying shit for them with stolen money, to be able to retain all of their bougie shit?)
Housewives need to steer clear of analogies! We all know about Jersey right? They’re just bad at them!!!
She so proudly states “A judge just ruled in my favor.” Andy: “But that was not the only case where Tom misappropriated funds.”
Her trying to minimize all of this and convince the public this is all nothing, is hilarious. She assumes we’re all as dumb as her? I wonder this – if she just sort of threw in the towel with the fight, as in just finally realizing she was living lavishly off of stolen money, and that ain’t right, and agreed to a monetary settlement that would go the people he stole from, would some of the suits be dropped?
And these fucking earrings, they were purchased with money from the law firm, we know that, and he was cheating and stealing from the firm. They’re not her earrings. This doesn’t mean she’s acknowledging guilt or admitting she was part of the scheme, but it shows she comprehends what has happened, and that she was the beneficiary of a crime, and therefore needs to part with some of her cash and ‘things.’
“It’s the delivery, when you say I don’t give a fuck about anyone else but myself.” Dorito points out That’s when she goes into the oxygen mask thing. “Because in the future I can help somebody else.”
Again, HOW? How is this helping ‘anyone else??’ Her fighting all of this instead of coming to some type of settlement, is keeping the ‘victims’ from seeing any type of reparations. Explain how that’s helping, who that’s helping.
So why doesn’t anyone ask that? Why doesn’t anyone (sutton or garcelle, or even Andy) point out how highly ironic and inappropriate it was to use a fucking ‘plane going down’ analogy? Do they even put it together? What is extra sad (is sad the right word? sad that she’s this dumb) about this is that it seems like she thought this through, and planned on rolling this comparison, out in her defense. I can’t imagine she came up with this on the fly. So she planned and rehearsed this shit in her head, and never once did it occur to her how fucked up this was?
Then leave it to the stale Dorito to say “that is lot better than what you said that night.”
So wait, an analogy that makes no sense (because she’s not helping anyone but HERSELF) and references a FUCKING PLANE CRASH which, of course, is one of the big cases where Tom lifted all of his clients’ winnings, and transferred the cash TO HER, sounds “a lot better??”
Does Kyle get how insane this is?? Of course she doesn’t speak up, duh, but can’t tell by her face if she’s putting it together, or just thinks it’s bullshit. But holy bloody hell she couldn’t wait to unleash onto Crystal the wrath of Vyle Shallow Kyle over Crystal’s ‘dark and problematic’ bullshit.
I would say if anyone is ‘dark and problematic’ it’s this one!! “I have been disappointed in my behavior all through the season.” Andy questions this.
She’s doing the best she can. Screaming she doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but me, folks is the best she can. Christ she can’t even fake it. This is the best she can. I still can’t believe Andy nor Sutton does not call out the oxygen mask thing. Okay I’m moving on.
Andy questions her stupid playing for the cameras, begging for some pity, scene with her virtual therapist. Virtually crying and acting virtually traumatized, saying she is “at risk for becoming hateful and mean.” Well, guys, I guess she could always get worse. She could always start attacking people that piss her off, by daring to ask her why she’s such a greedy shit bag, with a butcher knife, or a sword, or Kyle’s earrings…
Kyle chimes in with how she thought, the next morning, she would wake up and be remorseful.
Really Kyle? You really thought that? You thought that? This woman has almost zero ability to admit she’s wrong, and zero ability to approach people and just say “I’m sorry.” Even if she doesn’t mean it, and just wants to clear the air, and not make it awkward. Do they all realize that she expected THEM to tell HER they’re sorry?
She needed Kyle to be “neutral.” Okay Erika all of these stupid ho’s have been sticking up for you and making excuses for you non fucking stop since day one of all of this… and Kyle can’t dare reprimand and point out that “I don’t care about anyone else but me” was fucked up? Isn’t that what friends are supposed to do? Tell you when you’re making a fool out of yourself?
Then proceeding to go on a crazy rant about not giving a fuck about Tom’s clients he stole from, was completely tasteless and brash, and awful.
Kyle even points out some of the things she was saying, how she was on the thing of “they’re not MY victims, they’re not MY problem.” She says that she wasn’t out of control, she was ‘angry.’
Can anyone imagine in their wildest nightmares, imagine this sitch being reversed, and she and Tom were the ones stolen from? Let’s pretend Tom was on the straight and narrow, (I know) and some other attorneys in his firm were funneling other people’s money around, and Tom got cheated out of his earnings on some big cases?? Would Erika’s tune be a lot different?? Would she not think those attorneys owed HER that money back?? What would she say if the attorneys and the wives/spouses, were flaunting all of their bougie shit constantly? If SHE were owed millions of dollars??
Kyle and Garcelle look mortified by the ‘angry’ comment. Rinna looks like “oh well.” “Do you realize the heat I have taken for defending you?” Then stop fucking defending her you dodo- bird- wearing a- Homecoming -dress- trying -to- turn- Mario on- by- looking- like- Dorit. It would be a cold day in hell before I would change my hair and looks to resemble the bitch my husband has a crush on.
Fuck me, This isn’t hard. Kyle needs to stop defending her, and do more of what she’s doing right now. Call her out on her stupidity.
Dorit tries to explain to her you CAN show empathy while “waiting’ for the legal process…”
She really has these dumb asses all brainwashed, that there is nothing she can do, as the legal process drags out. It’s dragging out because she is fighting it! And won’t settle with these people.
“I have shown empathy but I am getting attacked every day.” So does she truly not comprehend if she DID show empathy, then she wouldn’t be getting attacked? Rhetorical question. I feel like we are beating a dead fucking horse.
Garcelle looks like…
Andy tells her “It’s not landing.”
Dude, not only is it ‘not landing’ it’s also non fucking existent. There is none. From the very fucking first episode last year, when Tom’s dirty dealings and theft came out, all she did was cry about herself losing her bougie life, house and material things. Never once has she owned her spending addiction.
Never once did she even express concern for Tom and his health condition or acknowledging his desperation to keep her happy. Remember last season when she was listing everything that she ‘lost’? Guess what was last on the list? Her marriage. Preceding her marriage, was her 14,000 SF house, and her bougie life. I mean to point out the square footage of your house you had to move from as your #1 issue? How much more callous can you be?
Okay the infamous earrings that she was forced to relinquish since they were purchased with funds stolen from the law firm, money that was to be used for payouts to clients. Of Course she’s trying to get them back. She’s so fucking greedy, she does not care how this makes her look.
“we’re on appeal, for legal reasons.” as she’s texting on her phone. She keeps repeating that. “We’re saying the same thing.” “We’re not, but we are” WHAT?? You know it’s bad when Andy is looking at her like he wants to do a Bosnian head butt.
Andy asks how many of our prestigious panel sitting on the couches here would keep the earrings. No one responds (not even Rinna) meaning they all claim they would have the dignity to realize what they represent, and understand that by turning them over, is a way to show acknowledgment of Tom’s wrongdoing. She was married to the man. Therefore what’s his is hers, hers is his. I’m sorry but that’s the way it works. Do you know who says so? The IRS. (That was an excerpt from her book where she defends that his money is her money, and spending his money) So his stolen money is your stolen money, sweetheart. Everything purchased with his money is stolen property.
The fact that she cannot comprehend there are penniless people, that lost loved ones in accidents, that PAID Tom’s firm for legal services, and were awarded money, and Tom stole it, and she can’t understand why they are coming after her, is incomprehensible.
Crystal is the only one that has the balls to speak, and just says “I wouldn’t.” (keep the earrings) She could have done better, but at least she says something, unlike the others. He then questions Dorito who elaborates a little – “I wouldn’t want anything to do with it.”
Erika looks baffled as she stares into space, that her liitle disciples DARE to question her ethics, or lack thereof. Andy should have asked Dorito or Crystal to elaborate. But Andy seems eager to move on. I mean we hammered Crystal for like a solid half hour on the dark problematic shit. But okay, Andy.
A lot of viewers, not just me, do see a lot of favoritism here, and for some reason, Garcelle and Crystal, the minorities on the show, are treated a little, let’s say, different.
Kind of odd for a gay Jewish guy, both groups sometimes being a target of bigotry, or ridicule. I am sure he had points in his life, where he was perhaps bullied, and treated differently for being who he is, when being gay wasn’t necessarily accepted everywhere. You would think he would be more careful to not portray himself, or Bravo, as being racist, or at the very least, favoring the white women of the cast.
So who in the fucking fuck cares if she’s talked to Tom or not. Tom should be in fucking jail, not a nursing home. Andy seriously let the earring convo end there, to dive into THAT question? Proves my point above, does it not?? if that would have been Crystal or Garcelle, fighting to retain stolen property just because “she likes them,” pretty sure there would have been like ten follow up questions and scathing commentary from Andy.
Andy strangely asks about Ruth Madoff, and if she ever “thinks about her.” I’m actually shocked she even knows who the hell Ruth Madoff is. Erika looks slightly annoyed at this question. Well it was either this, or he could have gone around the group as to WHY it’s totally improper to be trying to get to be “appealing, for legal reasons.” I would have preferred earrings around the group, and watched her sit there and squirm and stare into space. Rinna having to explain her rationale of why she should just say sayonora to these stupid earrings, while sitting right beside Scarika, would have been awkward and funny as HELL. But whatever, Andy. We get it.
“I don’t think about Ruth.” Maybe she doesn’t know who she is, and just acted like she knew what he was talking about. He should have said, “do you know who I mean?” Okay Andy, well you did ask her a question that involves the word ‘think’ what the hell did you expect? So many other things he could have asked her while he had the floor with her. So many other things. Her ‘old Pasadena house’ who cares. “Do you miss your old life?” he asks her?
She answers, as she goes into this high octave fake distressed voice, claiming he’s never once heard her say “oh my God what am I gonna do, my house, my earrings…” So like does she forget the entire last season? That’s literally ALL SHE DID, was cry about having to move out of Tom/s mansion into this SMALL condo, and whine about material things.
Did she forget this is all on film for all eternity? Again Andy misses an opportunity here, he could have said “you kind of did” or Kyle could have chimed in with that, because the camera zooms on her, and pretty sure that’s what she’s thinking.
Clearly she IS whining about the earrings, not so much in what she said (actually she did say they are HERS and she’s entitled them – several times) But in the fact that she didn’t turn them over, until she was ORDERED to, and is now trying to get them back. Kyle sits here mute, but Crystal don’t you DARE exaggerate an innocent convo! That’s just CROSSING the Housewife ‘ethics’ line.
“Things can come and go, now I’m just fighting for myself.” (Okay, so the million dollar question, then why are we trying to get back the million dollar earrings, they’re just ‘things?’ Who asked her that? Oh, no one. But Garcelle, damn you !! You forgot to mail in your charity event check !! Trash!!
Yeah we know Erika. Yourself, as she fakes a half of a Rinna tear here. She does manage to make her eyes look red, which I think is genuine, if you want to call it that, since she’s referring to ‘herself.’
So makes sense. Never would you see the red eyes and minor choking up when referring to the people Tom stole from, years later, still waiting for their funds. Or Tom sitting alone in a nursing home, and desperately wanting to talk to her, knowing he spent every last cent he could scrounge up on her, to make her happy and impress her.
Nope, no choking up there when referring to her husband of twenty fucking years, just matter of factly stating “he calls me, he asks her how I’m doing…” Does anyone else wonder why she wouldn’t reach out to HIM? Why doesn’t she visit him? No, he wasn’t perfect, but I mean, let’s look at her. It was a marriage of two narcissists. And he did fund her lavish lifestyle for twenty fucking years. She can’t pop in and bring him a pie?? Say, “sorry thought the money was a bootmless pit, until you finally keeled over and croaked. My bad.“
She has no use for him now, he’s out of money. and he’s out of everyone else’s money. She fucking spent it all! Doesn’t she even feel a little bad about this?? Rhetorical question.
“We’ll leave it there.” Well of course you will Andy. Dorito strokes her arm. Suddenly something very interesting must be on the floor, cuz everyone is looking down. They know she just made a complete fool out of herself, (but are too afraid of her to say it) and is literally advertising to the viewers and fans, how completely out of touch, unaware, uncaring, and despicable sorry excuse of a person/woman/mom/wife that she is.
She requests a tissue to wipe, not one single tear. Hilarious when she gets the tissue passed down, she realizes she has to actually pretend that she has a tear. She lays it across the bridge of her nose. I don’t even think she knows where tears come from. Not the bridge of your nose or forehead sweetheart, Even Rinna feels sorry for how stupid she looks.
‘Barbie Chic’ Kathy arrives. Who is NOT obsessed with the fact that she carries a (more appropriate and Shallow Kyle approved) purse with her to the couch. IF you are not obsessed with this, and the meaning behind it, then you are NO friend of mine! Just wish she would have said to Vyle, “is this purse okay?”
As Kathy enters, Erika again has a sudden need to text — no one. Like who could she be texting right now? All 2 of her friends are sitting right here. Maybe she’s googling where tears come from?
So Kathy’s entrance to the party starts off light, with some harmless poking about her slippers, and her tech and social media challenges. And because she can laugh at herself, it’s all in good fun. She does get a dig in about accidentally deleting something she meant as a private message, or text, or whatever that she “did a Lisa Rinna and deleted it twenty minutes later.” The ugly fake hag then fidgets with her ugly fake hag hair, and looks away, instead of laughing it off. That of course, is referring to her embarrassing SM posts, that she deletes right after she posts them and realizes how stupid she sounds.
Then we get right to it. They start playing all of the flashes subsequent to Kathy’s breakdown, tantrum, pissed off rant, whatever we are calling it, in Apsen. Kathy gets right to taunting Rinna as they’re playing them. Rinna looks so fucking uncomfortable. And I love. IT.
Tequila Talk. Andy asks fan question “why can’t Kathy promote her tequila?” We’ve heard and watched countless fucking episodes about Rinna’s lipshit, Dorito’s failed swim and bridal line, Kyle’s endless failed and hideous boutiques, Erika’s embarrassing performances, the list goes on and on…
(I added the adjectives, that’s not how the viewer asked it. That’s how I would have asked it.)
Kathy interjects when she shouldn’t have, and gets defensive when she doesn’t need to be. Of course when they played the montage of her plugging it, it looks a lot worse. She should have let the ladies answer, especially Renal and Scarika. I actually didn’t notice she had mentioned her tequila so much, maybe because she wasn’t in every episode at every event. So her plugs were spread out. To most of us, I think, it seemed here and there. And if the viewers didn’t see it as excessive, it probably wasn’t. And if it was, who cares, it’s tequila.
It’s one of the main food groups to these bitches. What was the big fucking deal?? I’d rather taste, and hear about tequila than sit through an excruciating ‘fashion show’ or worse yet, suffering through one of Erika’s trashy ‘performances.’ Lucky for us, she doesn’t have Tom’s poor clients bank rolling her ability to play Madonna anymore. So that’s over, thank God.
Kyle corrects Kathy TWICE for mispronouncing the name of that stupid fucking overpriced Kemosabe place in Aspen that she’s obsessed with, since she’s shallow as fuck, and all she thinks or cares about is shopping. She doesn’t own the fucking joint. Who the hell cares how she pronounces it. (She wishes she could own a store this successful, lol)
Kathy explains it that when she entered that bar/store combo thing (which is a genius idea, combining alcohol with shopping I must say) she saw her bottles sitting on the bar. To be clear, Kakthy invested in this tequila company, which she did make clear the first time she started talking about it. I saw some snarky comments people were making about that on SM, but she never said she OWNED the company. She says she thought “oh that’s sweet of Kyle to have a tasting of ‘her’ tequilas at the event.”
The altitude must have been getting to her, if she thought Kyle would actually think to do this, or give a rat’s fucking ass about anyone but herself.
Especially given the way Kyle was treating her from the second she set foot in Aspen. But whatever, I can see how she thought that, and got excited that her sister would go out of her way for her. As ludicrous as that sounds. She goes to explain that she was disappointed and felt stupid for overthinking it. She wasn’t blaming Kyle, she was blaming herself, if you actually listened, and Kyle was not.
She is already crying and no one knows why. Kathy sat there and took responsibility. She even says Rinna has been supportive of her tequila. (okay now I need a very super sized margarita) Rinna claims she’s sorry if the Kendall Jenner thing hurt Kathy’s feelings, and it wasn’t her intention to do that.
I think it kind of was, but Kathy is giving an ‘out’ here for whatever reason, so goddammit she’s gonna take it. My God, it was so obvi that was a passive aggressive dig. Extra loudly, (she’s already loud) “…MY FRIEND Kendall Jenner’s tequila??” Do you think that 27 year old Kendall Jenner knows who the hell 60 year old Lisa Rinna is? And no, she is NOT friends with Kris Jenner, if you’re thinking that. She wanted so badly to be, and to get the in with the Kard/Jenners last year when her 20 YO daughter was banging 40YO Scott Dissick.
Sadly and not one bit surprisingly, that little fling ended before it really even got started. Who the hell would be happy about their 20 year old daughter dating a 40 year old man? Lisa Rinna. She kept name dropping Scott Dissick last year, remember? As if he’s anyone, other than a sperm donor for Kourtney.
Anywho, Kyle is in full on crybaby mode, and not even listening to Kathy, clearly. She has no ability to listen and process more than three words at at time. And Kathy has been talking and explaining for a full five minutes, so it’s a lot when you have a severe learning disability.
Kathy literally explained, she misinterpreted the situation, and is taking accountability. She thought there was going to be a thing for her tequila, when she saw four bottles of it sitting on the bar (actually that IS something Kyle could have thought have to do, since this seemed to be a big tequila/ margarita drinking excursion trip, just sayin.)
Kathy: “I was disappointed for expecting something” (thatwasn’t even taking place.) She doesn’t even get to add that, because Kyle interrupts with “so it was my fault, so it was my fault.”
(After she just explained how it wasn’t Kyle’s fault.) This woman. She clearly passed the Housewife idiot test with flying colors.
Even a five year old listening to this would have understood that Kathy just explained how it was really her own fault, and not that big of a deal as she made it out to be. However, Rinna really was giving her the cold shoulder in other instances when she brought it up. Even the one flash they played, Rinna groaned and covered her head, so Kathy really did have a reason to be annoyed. She should not have caved to her on that.
We continue with “it’s my fault like everything always fucking is, I didn’t do anything…” Kathy already covered that, but you know, she’s doing a Teresa Guidice, and has this ONE thought (because that’s all there is room for) programmed in her head, and just keeps repeating it like a mindless fool, instead of listening to Kathy.
Andy points out to Kathy that she did appear pissed when Rinna ordered that ‘other’ tequila. They flash to her mocking Rinna ordering Kendall Jenner’s tequila. As I said, she did it on purpose. So really Rinna caused this whole argument with Kyle and Kathy right from the get go (with Kyle helping it along with her non-stop ridicules and snark about her clothing and accessories.) Did Rinna know it would blow up the way it did ? No. She probably hoped it would. But didn’t know for sure. She just wanted to get under Kathy’s skin. Doin her Housewife job, one might say. The tequila kerfluffle was Rinna lighting the match.
Kathy again clarifies she didn’t think she did it on purpose, but admits, yes it annoyed her. I don’t know if Kathy actually believes this, or is just trying to play nice before the real shit starts. I can’t imagine she really believes it.
So onto the dreaded night out, and the club argument. Kathy starts to give the whole description and play back of how she wanted to request some songs, the DJ ignored her, so she offered the manager money to play songs she wanted. ‘The Caribou Club’ is the name of club they were at, if anyone is interested.
He tells her it’s way too busy and brushes her off. She points out other clubs she’s a member of in various other locations take requests, and he asks, where is she from? “LA”
“Then go back to LA.” So, all right, HOW RUDE right? And this IS Kathy Hilton. It doesn’t seem as if she name drops herself, at least not in her version of the story. I actually don’t believe she’s a “don’t you know who I am?” person. Because I think she knows how pathetic that sounds.
Kathy approaches Kyle telling her she wants to leave, and Kyle explains, “you came up to me and said we are OUT of here.” But hey Kyle always handles HERself perfectly right?
I guess she didn’t shake Sutton around by her toothpick arms at Garcelle’s birthday party? I guess she didn’t ridicule her sister Kim about her alcoholism in the earlier seasons? That infamous limo scene was handled perfectly by Kyle, right?? So yes, Kathy’s delivery wasn’t on point, in the moment, when she was pissed off. No she didn’t say “Ohhhh Kyle honey, sweetie, you’re so pretty. Hey my feelings are hurt by the manager, can we pretty please leave??”
Kyle: “I’m an adult you can’t talk to me like that.” Is Kim an adult? Is Sutton? Is Garcelle? Just askin. I’m sure you all get my point. Rules for me, and not for thee. Kathy admits she wasn’t proud of the way she ordered Kyle to leave with her.
Erika chimes in that Kathy called the DJ (the other) F word. Kathy is denying this. I don’t know, I can kind of see her saying that if she was pissed at him. It’s an inappropriate word, but was actually used in a previous era, and Kathy is in her 60’s, and she was pissed off at the guy. He spoke to her like she was a fucking meaningless idiot. You don’t talk to customers that way, you just don’t. As annoying as they can be, and it sounds like Kathy kind of was, you don’t tell them to go back to their home town when you are a manager of a business. So she shouldn’t have used that offensive word, but I hate to say, I MIGHT believe Erika that she used it. (who had no problem blurting it out I might point out)
“Anyone that knows me knows I’m not lying” Okay Erika again, not as bad as your plane crash- oxygen mask analogy, but still very cringy. You do lie. Just look at the whole ‘leaking the story’ thing. She and Rinna stood there at Kyle’s chirping after each other like two freaking fuckturds of how “I didn’t leak the story, have you seen it anywhere, I haven’t, have you ? I haven’t …” I wishthey would have played that entire clip. It was embarrassingly obvious that they were lying. And that’s just an example. She IS a fucking liar. Last season, the whole snow and car flipping thing? Tom’s accident story that changed every five minutes?
Kathy:“I have a little more credibility than you.” Erika maintains she’s not a liar. MMkay
So apparently there was an HR investigation regarding this word useage?? Hold on, hold the phone, rewind… HOUSEWIVES HAS AN HR DEPT? Can you even imagine how lax of an HR department this must be, given what the fuck they get away with on these shows? All of the other shit that’s been said and done on FILM over the years, dropping the word f** warrants an ‘HR investigation?’ Not Kyle being physically abusive, not Rinna being mentally and verbally abusive??
I mean – okay as I said, I agree it’s a highly offensive word that we don’t say anymore. But a Bravo HR investigation? Am I the only one that finds this ironic and laughable??
Kathy points out about Erika waltzing around the club with her $250g Cartier ring, fur coat, etc. “They’re not yours.” Oh yeah Kathy Hilton is going there! Well no one else will. She looks SHOCKED!!!
Erika points out how long she’s had them. “They’re not your belongings” she reiterates.
“How do you know that?” “Everyone knows that, and you have no remorse at all.”
I would put that statement in the Jeopardy category of “Things Kathy Hilton has been dying to say for $1,000” (and yes there are Housewife questions on Jeopardy, believe it or not)
Since she is basically the same person as Rinna (Rinnika I have been saying) and she has no comeback to that, because NO ONE will point out to her, she shouldn’t be walking around flaunting all of her bougie shit, does not matter how long ago they were purchased. So she steals Rinna’s ‘no comeback’ comeback, the very basic line “wowwwww” then, “look at you trying to save yourself” Well so what if she is. So what if she’s changing the subject to Erika’s pathetic greediness, and lack of self-awareness. She’s doing her Housewife job. It’s okay when you all do it?? And remember, according to Kyle, “She’s being honest and I respect that.” If Kathy were smarter and bitchier she would turn to Kyle and quote that line. Like – “you don’t have a problem with this right KYYYLLLLLE.” You respect honesty right Kyle??” (I like the way she says Kyyyyyyylllle)
Erika defends her flaunting her bougie shit by stating when, and where they were purchase, which is irrelevant. She knows that. Also no one cares.
The shit should be turned over, and sold, to help make things right with the people that Tom stole from. He’s been doing shady shit for years. Not just the past two or three before it all came to a head when he exhausted every last fucking penny from everywhere possible, to drop enough cash on this ho, so she would shut her surgeried up fucking face. It just got worse recently because he literally couldn’t keep up with the amounts that she was spending! Fuck me, Kathy should have pointed that out too. Because NONE of these bitches will say that.
Rinna says they were wanting to get her out of the club because she was making a scene. Crystal was going to go along as well, but hadn’t gotten her coat yet. So was anyone else wondering how this all would have shaken out, had Crystal been present? I think Crystal would have tried to shut her up with Rinna being there, and no cameras. But Rinna was egging her on. That’s probably why she was telling her that she’s “preaching to the choir.”
So did Kathy honestly think that this was going to stay confidential? Silly Kathy . Rinna doesn’t ‘exactly’ remember saying “I get it, I get it, you’re preaching to the choir.” Lie.
She’s taking down NBC, Bravo… etc etc. I believe she did say that, I believe she called the girls stupid, idiots, useless, and pee-ons All of it. I just don’t care. I think most viewers just don’t care.
We have so little respect for Rinnika and Kyle at this point, that we just do not give two fucking shits. It all sounds like things she does think, and when she was pissed off, it all exploded like diarrhea. Crystal looks in disbelief that she would say that about HER, because I guess she thinks she has the ‘in’ with Kathy Hilton, since she supposedly was friends with her before she knew Kyle. Through Rob I assume. Oh well Crystal, you weren’t exempt girl! You’re goin down with the rest of em! You ain’t special! She looks like she wants to cry.
“And she was just saying how she feels and I can respect that.” (according to Kyle)
I love how Kathy is leaning back on the couch. No one ever leans back. They sit up so straight tense and cardboard like. But Kathy doesn’t care. This shit isn’t her bread and butter like Rinnika’s. She’s not desperate to be the star of this stupid show like Kyle.
As Andy lists all of her insults and smears towards the women, Kathy tells Lisa she needs to take to take a lie detector test. She’s denying all of it, but I don’t know. I believe most of it.
“I know you’re having problems” she tells Lisa.
“What kind of problems am I having?”
Kathy said she doesn’t know, but I think she does. I wish she just would have said whatever it is. Now the texts. Okay so Kathy does lose some credibility here by denying the texts. The have already 15shown the texts. She seriously doesn’t think that since she deleted them from her phone, that they’re gone from Rinna’s? No, she can’t. Well she also didn’t know how to work her fan last year when it wasn’t plugged in, nor the blender, when it wasn’t plugged in. Rinna gets out her phone and shows them to Andy. Okay so that fell flat.
Kyle points out how this whole scene getting out, made her life more difficult. Her life. A lot of viewers on SM are pointing out how Kyle never really mentions Kathy’s feelings, and the way she was getting treated, and how this all embarrassed her, only how it affected Kyle. Like Erika, she only cries for ‘herself.’
They point out Jack, her publicist was getting blamed for leaking it. Erika doesn’t think he did it, and Kathy agrees since he represents Nikki also. However there was a clip surfacing on SM a few weeks ago of the conversation between Rinna and Dorito at Erika’s fake clip-on hair thing, that showed him eavesdropping on their conversation. It’s been out there before this was filmed I’m pretty sure, so not why she’s playing dumb about it.
Apparently this was the version played in Europe, and not in the United States. Not sure of the reasoning behind that. Here is the clip. Looks like Rinna can see that there is the eavesdropping goin down. Dorit is clueless of course.
I think whole-heartedly Erika had him leak it. Why would he give a shit he works for Nikki Hilton too? Do you think these people really give two fucking shits about these rich bitches they work for? Hell no they don’t! They’ll throw them under the bus probably for a measly extra hundred bucks.
Rinna claims she got a call from TMZ asking about the club scene that night they got home from Aspen. Kyle gives her some serious side-eye. Yeah you got a call from TMZ, because they were already TIPPED OFF.
Kathy brings up how she wanted to apologize to Kyle about everything, and do it on camera.
She says she was sort of blindsided about Rinna showing up, and needing to extend one to her as well.
Kathy says she tried to call Rinna to talk it out, but she never answered the phone because she wanted it on camera, since “her contract was coming up.” Rinna flimsily justifying this by saying “you did it to meeeee.” And repeats it six times. She thinks if she keeps repeating it, it will be true. Did what to you? So what Rinna, you listened to her screechy diatribe for a few minutes. We’ve listened to enough of your fucking diatribes and screaming at people, to last a lifetime. Kathy tells her she wanted the drama, because her contract was coming up.
This must be accurate because Rinna’s only response is “wowwwwwww.” This is always her response when she’s getting accused of something that she definitely did do.
Erika is over compensating with loud cackling, and dramatically putting her head in her hands. Which is only helping to underscore the accuracy of the accusation. As if this is fucking ludicrous right? What?? A Housewife causing/ manufacturing/making up drama to have a ‘story line.’ Who EVER heard of that?
“I don’t need any drama.” Rinna tries to convincingly say. Yes she does. She feeds off of the others’ lives and drama, because she shares nothing about her life, nor family, and never has one fucking thing to talk about, besides picking on everyone else.
Kathy tells her she drove LVP off the show, what she did to Kim, “you’ve had problems with everyone, the list goes on and on.”
Rinna: “I’ve been bullied” And the famous line that we saw on the the clip of over and over – “you are the biggest bully in Hollywood and everyone knows it!”
Awkward pause then “is that right?” I was positive it was going to be “wowwwwwwww” Oh wait yesthere it is. It comesafter Kathy adds, “and you don’t tell the truth.”
Now all of a sudden “this is between you two and you need to work it out?” Come again Rinna?? Now she wants out of it, suddenly.
The one that blew it all up in the first place, and made sure it got all out in the press causing further strife and aggravation for everyone.
Kathy: “where was this that night? You could have said you and Kyle need to work this out, your sisters…”
Oh she was screaming and yelling, so she couldn’t talk. Okay you’re Lisa Fucking Rinna. When you have something to say you fucking say it. But, as we know, she didn’t want you all to work it out. She needed this, she wanted to use it, and use it she did. Then Rinna, “you were yelling at me” clutching her stupid cross. Isn’t the this the ugly screaming hag calling the kettle black.
Garcelle asks if it’s between Kathy and Kyle then why not stay out it?
“She attacked me in the house in Aspen” ATTACKED? they all gasp.
“Well she was screaming at me and abusing me.” Uhhhhhhh okay??? Let’s roll some clips here, Andy.
Yeah that’s what I thought. Of course not. They could have though. Andy does say “you’ve screamed and yelled at people also.” Rinna: “SO”
SO? So you can’t bitch at other people for doing the same fucking thing then!! Not to mention nothing was directed towards Rinna. She was venting about everyone else! That’s a big difference!
Andy asks if Kyle and Kathy want to move on as sisters and Kathy says “why can’t you just let it go?” “I let it go right here and now.” And who the hell believes that? She was forced to sort of say that. The whole sordid story is closing in on her, at this point and it’s beyond obvious that she was thriving off of it, and using this drama for her own satisfaction. Shocker.
“Would you though?” Kathy asks. She wears to absolve herself from it and wishes them the best.
Andy asks her “why come between sisters?” She was traumatized, she claims, and get ready for this one, cuz it’s a doozy !! “It was in the dark” This time we literally mean dark. As in nighttime. Not Crystal’s version of ‘dark.’ So this evil sorcerer known as Lisa Rinna, is now afraid of the fucking dark?? Wait, there’s no electricity in Kyle’s Aspen shack that’s “not that big?”
Kathy tells her they were in a lit bedroom, so there is that. Wow Rinna, desperate much? If this doesn’t prove she’s grasping at shit to back up this trauma fucking shit, I don’t know what does.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is why you don’t make a habit of lying. Not just because it’s wrong, and affects people’s lives, but it causes you to have to go to the lengths of borderline idiocy, when cornered to back up your story!!
Kyle cries and whimpers “please” at Rinna for calling her sister a devil and a monster. Sutton got grabbed by both arms, and almost slammed into the wall for calling Dijana ‘souless’ and Rinna gets a whimpered ‘please’ beg.
So Kyle, Crystal got attacked with a fucking vengeance with evil smirks and sneers for incorrectly using the words ‘dark and problematic’ about a situation you didn’t agree with, that had nothing really to do with you. Where’s that energy Vyle? Now we’re sitting here whimpering in a tissue. Maybe she needs her six margaritas?? Maybe then she’ll walk over and grab Rinna by the arms and scream in her face?
Oh but wait, this is only her sister. That was when she was sticking up for some stupid head-butting evil Bosnian Hooker that she just met two seconds ago.
Kyle goes on a crying thing about how she gets blamed for everything, and she’s put in the middle of Rinna and Kathy. “Aren’t you mad at Lisa?” They want to know? No. She’s not. Andy points out Paris has been “liking a lot of tweets slamming Kyle.” Oh that hurts her, she says.
Kathy “doesn’t know” about leaving here in a good place. “Why not, tell me.” Kyle pleads. Kyle. My God. Because you’re sitting here in your Homecoming Dress tiptoeing around Lisa fucking Rinna, instead of standing up for you sister, and acting like this is all about YOU.
Kyle begs her to tell her why she still seems ticked off.
“Because you’re acting like a martyr, like it’s just you, and it’s not fair to me. I’ve had things that have hurt me.”
Dorit chimes in with something actually meaningful and intelligent. See she’s not COMPLETELY useless Kathy! “She wants you to accept some responsibility in this I think”
Kyle reprimands her to not interject. Dorit says they need to move this along, which is kind of funny.
I really think Kathy hoped that Kyle would be holding Rinna accountable for her part in making the whole event worse than it needed to be. (This sounds familiar, my stupid sister, and her hag mother-in-law and idiot husband where I said one thing that got blown out of proportion. I just keep comparing this situation to me and my sister.)
Kyle does tell Rinna all of the Instagram taunting of Kathy only hurts her. Kyle doesn’t care nor think about that maybe it hurts Kathy, the actual one that’s being called names and taunted. This the martyr thing that Kathy is trying to explain to her.
Kyle tries to beg her as Kathy is getting up, to not continue to be mad at her. Kathy tells her “you haven’t said two words” (in her defense) Kyle: “Me??” Yes YOU KYLE. She does that, like Rinna does the ‘wowwwwww’ thing.
Meeeeee??? It sounds so childish! Yes you!! You’re more worried about that fake ass wig wearing LIP HEAD HAG than your own fucking sister, who yes, fucked up, but promptly apologized. “Once again everything is my fault.” Once again she says that. That’s a martyr. Well maybe it is, you are the common denominator here Kyle. Your other sister hates you too.
Scarika: “We’re gonna get blamed for this.” Well if the ugly Herman Munster shoe fits…
Dorit: it’s time to let it go now, what do you have to gain from this? “Nothing” Rinna answers.
Kyle wants to leave before the proverbial ‘toast’ ritual at the end. Andy has to consult with some ‘Doug’ (probably an asshole, just a hunch, no particular reason) dude to see if that’s permitted.
Andy says “Kyle’s a wreck.” She’s a fucking wreck all right. A train wreck. She is so fucking distraught, that she turns to Garcelle and asks if her lipstick is okay.
I caught Rinna smirking, but trying hard to look sad.
Kyle stays for the ‘toast’ however doesn’t partake in the beverage, pretending to hold a glass. I mean, looks like she’s the one here that really needs the Belvy soda. But whatever. She hugs Andy, and wonder if Andy realizes she’s the problem. I hope he’s thinking here “you should have stood up to Rinna on behalf of your sister, here we are again.” But maybe not. He’s sort of just staring blankly. What does he really even care.
Erika buries her entire face in her glass of Belvy. Looking slightly guilty. But she doesn’t care either, really.
Say what you want about Dorito, and believe me I do, but when she goes into Kyle’s room to speak with her, she DOES genuinely care for Kyle, and wants her and Kathy to resolve this. Dorito is embracing and consoling her.
While her good friend Erika has her whole head in her ‘carcass out, short glass’ lookin like a haggard show girl with her tumor tits hanging out of her Revolve dress, and has probably begged Andy for a second one by now.
Her other bestie, Rinna is charging through the hallway, ranting and muttering under her breath that she’s “Glad this is fucking over, giving not one fuck about Kyle’s relationship with Kathy, nor bothering to check on her.
So do the math.
